by Carla Kelly
There had to be another way to avoid marrying him.
‘For the past six months, Lord Montague and I have shared this family connection because of your marriage. Certainly that should give us an excuse to be together at the ball,’ Juliet pleaded, looking between Charlotte and Andrew for a glimmer of hope.
Charlotte chewed on her lip as she quickly glanced at Andrew. They knew something they weren’t saying.
* * *
Monty had gone back to staring at the flames, needing to avoid looking at the woman who would rather leave the country than marry him, when the silence in the room made him turn to look at his brother. He could tell Andrew and Charlotte had heard about what had happened after Juliet was quickly ushered out of the ball by her sister and aunt before he even had a chance to speak with her—and it was obvious that Charlotte was struggling with what to say. He would put her out of her misery.
‘Word is already out,’ he said, addressing Juliet. ‘The ballroom was abuzz with it not long after you left. I tried to explain the innocent mistake to my acquaintances, but the damage had already been done.’
‘This is all your fault,’ she hissed, pointing her finger at him in an unladylike manner. ‘If you would have conducted yourself like a gentleman and not a rake, none of this would be happening.’
‘Monty...a rake.’ Andrew sputtered into his tea with a laugh before Charlotte kicked him with the tip of her slipper.
‘It was a momentary lapse of judgement,’ Monty countered to Juliet, choosing to take Andrew to task later. ‘A lapse that, at this moment, I regret more than you can comprehend. You make it sound as if I am a debaucher of unmarried women.’ His voice rose and he knew he was shouting. She still had a habit of eliciting passionate responses from him—even if this time it was in anger.
‘It appears you are quite good at momentary lapses in judgement. One would think by now you would have outgrown that affliction.’ Her voice was becoming just as loud.
‘Well, it appears I continue to have the worst taste in women,’ he spat out.
‘Then perhaps you should join the monastery and leave all of us alone!’
‘If only I could, but I have to marry you!’
He wasn’t sure at what point during their exchange they had moved closer to each other, but they were now a few feet apart with just Charlotte and Andrew seated between them, eyeing them as if they were watching a game of battledore and shuttlecock.
The contempt in Juliet’s eyes made his chest hurt. This was why he hadn’t liked looking at her since she had come back into his life after Charlotte and Andrew announced their engagement. He never wanted to see what she really thought of him reflected in her eyes. She had seen a side of him that he wasn’t proud of.
‘Perhaps the two of you should sit down and have some tea,’ Charlotte offered.
‘Tea isn’t going to fix this, Charlotte,’ Juliet said with annoyance in her voice as she looked down at her sister.
‘No, but it will make me feel better.’
‘Let them have their row, Charlotte,’ Andrew said, sitting back on the sofa and draping his arm along the back. ‘It will be better for them to speak their minds now. Then they can move past their anger.’
Was he mad? They needed to get married. There was no moving past this anger. It would be there every day for the rest of their lives. Monty had wanted to get married some day, but being forced to marry someone out of obligation was an entirely different matter. If there was one thing Monty despised more than any other, it was having the decisions of how he would lead his life taken away from him. But he knew that neither he nor Juliet had a choice in the matter if they were to lead respectable lives in England.
It was still infuriating!
Tears were pooling in Juliet’s eyes, but she raised her chin. Her outward strength was something he had always admired. He hadn’t had the opportunity to speak to her since she had been ushered out of the library by her sister as if he was a viper that would bite them both. They needed to be left alone so they could be less guarded in what they said to one another.
He looked down at his brother’s wife. ‘I need to speak with your sister alone.’
‘Oh, heavens,’ Charlotte said, standing up. ‘Of course you do. We’ll be in your brother’s study. Take all the time that you need.’
Andrew clasped him on the shoulder in a silent show of support on his way to the door. Monty waited for it to close before he motioned for Juliet to have a seat and remained standing until she had settled into the sofa across from him.
‘I tried to call on you yesterday to talk about what happened, but I was informed by a servant that you weren’t accepting callers,’ he said, trying to gauge how much she hated him.
‘If Aunt Clara or Lizzy had known you were visiting the house, I assure you they would have made a point of showing you into the drawing room themselves.’
‘Is it possible they found out I called on you and they sent word to Charlotte? Perhaps that is why we were summoned here?’
‘It’s possible.’
‘We do need to talk.’
‘Talking will not change what is wrong between us. Long ago I accepted that you and I have no future together. It is not easy for me now to adjust to the possibility that we might.’
‘It is more than just a possibility, Juliet. You and I both know we need to marry.’
‘But there are people who have been in our situation that have not.’
‘And they have suffered in various ways for that decision. Avoiding the inevitable will only prolong the gossip and speculation. Just last night I was asked if it were true that we were found playing... That is to say in the middle of...’
She was an unmarried woman. He couldn’t exactly tell her his friend had asked if it were true that they were found ‘playing at St George’. Would she even know that meant having sex with her on top? Of course she wouldn’t. In all likelihood she didn’t even know that was something a woman did. And now he wanted to scrub his brain because he was imagining her riding him as her dark hair caressed his chest—and it was a magnificent image.
‘You do not have to choose your words carefully with me,’ she said, impatiently. ‘I understand what you are trying to say.’
The sharpness of her tone was enough to slice the image into fine ribbons.
‘Then you know the longer we wait, the worse the tales will become. By tomorrow, half of London could think you are carrying my child.’
‘It is not that easy for me, Monty. It is not easy for me to look into your eyes and tell you I will happily be your wife—and that I am so grateful that you are willing to marry me to preserve your honour.’
‘I am willing to marry you to save your reputation. I am willing to do this, so you and your aunt do not find yourselves shunned by Society.’
She pushed the palms of her hands against her eyes and rubbed. When she looked at him again, it was through narrow eyes. ‘How could I ever have believed I was in love with you? Skeffington did me the biggest service of any guardian in all the land by refusing to allow me to marry you. I was never grateful for having him appointed as my guardian. He was an odious man. But today...right now... I am thanking the stars he was mine.’
Those sharp words pierced his chest in places he hadn’t felt in a very long time. The reminder that the old Duke had refused to allow him to wed Juliet, still to this day, was a blow to his pride. He could still recall the way he had demeaned Monty and all the horrible things that he had said about his family.
‘There is nothing left for us to discuss, Monty. I do not want to attach myself to you for the rest of my days.’
‘You didn’t always feel that way.’
‘Do you truly think discussing the past will be to your advantage after what you did? When Skeffington denied your request for my hand, I asked you to go to Gretna Green with me and elope. We c
ould have been together years ago, but you kept me waiting in the back garden of Lizzy’s house for hours that night and when you finally arrived, you told me you were mistaken. You didn’t love me. You’ve already told me that you don’t want to marry me.’
‘This isn’t about what either of us wants, Juliet. It is about what is required of people in our station. I will not be responsible for your ruin.’
‘What about what I want? What about what I want for my future? I cannot answer you now, Monty. This decision is too monumental. I will send word to you tomorrow. There is no need for us to speak about it further and, frankly, I have no wish to be in your presence any longer than I have to.’
She walked towards the drawing-room door, indicating their discussion had ended and he should leave. When she came to the threshold, she paused and turned to him. ‘Know this—whatever I decide is not an indication of how I feel about you. I have never forgiven you for making me believe you loved me and then breaking my heart. And I never will.’ With that she left him alone to find his own way out of the house.
He couldn’t blame her for feeling that way, but he had cared about Juliet. He assumed he always would in some way. He just hadn’t cared enough to throw his future away by eloping with her and causing a scandal.
* * *
‘I knew I would find you here,’ Lizzy said to Juliet as she stood in the doorway of the cutting room that was housed in the ground floor of their Aunt Clara’s house.
The air was scented with orange and cloves from the pomanders Juliet was making on the table in the small room that led out into the garden behind the London town house. Bunches of dried herbs and flowers hung from the exposed beams of the ceiling, making it appear as if you were standing under the branches of a tree.
Lizzy adjusted her shawl, bringing it tightly around her shoulders, and stepped further into the room. ‘Are you not cold?’
Juliet drew her attention away from pulling cloves out of the bottle in her hand. She doubted the chill that ran through her had anything to do with the temperature of the room and more to do with her conversation with Monty that morning. ‘This gown is keeping me warm and I have my gloves,’ she replied, holding up her hand and showing Lizzy her brown-wool, fingerless gloves. She resumed taking out the cloves one by one from the glass bottle. It would have been easier to dump them on the table and pick them up that way, but she was finding that removing them one at a time was somehow stopping her mind from racing with thoughts about her future.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lizzy walk over to the wall and study the aprons that hung on the pegs. Her sister tilted her head this way and then that. If she was going to be this particular about her apron, Juliet couldn’t watch. Finally Lizzy settled on a crisp white apron embroidered with white roses along the hem. After hanging up her shawl, she tied the apron strings around her waist and approached Juliet’s side. She glanced at what Juliet was doing before she took out an empty bowl from the open shelf under the table and set it in front of her.
‘Where would I find the mint?’ she asked, looking around.
Juliet pointed to the corner. ‘We have quite a bit still hanging.’
A few minutes later, Lizzy returned with a bunch of dried stems, tied with a thin red ribbon. She surveyed the bottles Juliet had placed on the table. ‘Have you taken every bottle off the shelves?’
‘There are a few left. I took all the ones that I thought might appeal to me.’
‘There are over twenty here.’
‘I’m feeling indecisive at the moment.’
Lizzy untied the ribbon that held the mint together and slowly unwound it. ‘What are you making?’ she asked, her voice light and overly casual.
‘A pomander for Charlotte for Christmas.’ She held up the orange she had been studding with cloves. ‘I know how much she likes them.’
The room remained blissfully quiet as Lizzy went about pinching off the dried mint leaves as Juliet continued to jab cloves into the orange—until Lizzy broke the silence.
‘I understand Lord Montague was also at Charlotte’s house this morning when you were there. What a convenient coincidence.’
‘Why do I have a feeling that you found out he called here yesterday and I refused to see him—and that you then sent word to Charlotte to arrange for us to meet there?’ She jabbed two more cloves into the orange.
‘I don’t believe I was the only one to suggest that. I understand Lord Montague’s brother, the Duke of Winterbourne, was also eager for the two of you to have a discussion about what needs to be done.’
‘Do not meddle in my affairs, Lizzy. I am a grown woman and your husband is no longer my guardian.’
‘Of course he isn’t. Skeffington is dead.’
Juliet looked over at her sister, who continued to keep her attention fixed on carefully pinching off the mint leaves.
‘Even if he were not, I am two and twenty, old enough to make my own decisions about how I should conduct my life.’
‘Oh, you’re quite right.’
‘I don’t need your help.’
‘I understand.’
‘Then you will respect my wishes and stay out of my affairs?’
‘What would ever make you think I will do that?’
‘Lizzy!’
‘Juliet, you know it is not in my nature to resist offering my assistance when I feel I can be of use.’
‘You mean meddling. You cannot resist meddling.’
‘I consider it assisting.’
‘Well, I do not need your assistance with Lord Montague.’
Lizzy scooped up the pile of mint from the wooden table and dropped it into the white bowl.
Juliet leaned over to see how much she had pinched off. ‘What are you making?’
Lizzy’s brow furrowed as if she was just now deciding what she would do with all those leaves. ‘I’m making something to place on my bedside table. I believe mint is an excellent scent to wake you up in the morning.’ She glanced at Juliet through the corner of her eye and then focused on pinching off more leaves. ‘What did Lord Montague have to say?’
Juliet inadvertently pushed a clove into the fragrant skin of the orange with a bit more vigour than necessary. ‘He did the honourable thing and offered for my hand in marriage.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ Lizzy exclaimed, looking at Juliet with a relieved smile before turning quickly away, scanning the various bunches of herbs hanging above them. ‘I imagine that makes you very happy.’
‘Happy? Happy! I am not happy. None of this makes me happy.’
‘But you had wanted to marry him once.’ She leaned over the table and took down a bunch of herbs. ‘Now you can have your wish.’
‘I wanted to marry him four years ago when I thought he loved me. He proved that he does not. He should have fought for me. He should not have allowed Skeffington to throw him out of the house for asking for my hand.’
There was a slight sputter of noise from Lizzy’s side of the table. ‘Juliet. Lord Montague was newly out of Cambridge. Skeffington was one of the most powerful men in Britain and had great influence. Do you honestly believe that there was anything Lord Montague could have done to make him change his mind?’
‘He should have at least tried. His brother is a duke.’
‘Who was frequently at odds against Skeffington in the House of Lords. And from what Skeffington yelled at me when he found me later that day, being the younger brother of the Duke of Winterbourne was part of the reason he refused Lord Montague’s request. He recoiled at the idea of our families joining together. You are lucky Aunt Clara took you away when she did. I know he was thinking of marrying you off to one of his old political cronies after Lord Montague asked for your hand.’
Juliet hadn’t told Lizzy about her plan to elope with Monty. She knew if she had, Lizzy would have found a way to prevent it to avoid th
e scandal that would have ensued. And she saw no sense of informing Lizzy of it now. It would just prove how foolish she was when it came to Monty.
‘What did you say to Lord Montague when he asked for your hand?’
‘I told him it was not something I could give him an answer to so quickly. I told him that I would send him a letter with my answer tomorrow.’
‘Why in heavens are you waiting? You were caught in a compromising position. Just say yes.’
‘It’s not that simple, Lizzy. I don’t want to be married to him. I don’t love him any more.’ She had hated him for so long, she knew there was no room in her heart for love.
‘Don’t be foolish. You thought you were in love with him once. That is more than most people who marry can say. Things may change and you might discover you are fond of him again.’
‘I could never love him again. He lied about being in love with me. How can I trust him?’
‘I’m not asking you to trust him with your heart. I’m saying he may be a pleasant enough husband. You need a husband to ensure your financial security. As a duchess, I am privy to all kinds of information and I’ve never heard a dishonourable thing about him. In fact, he is one of the most sought-after bachelors at Almack’s, which is surprising since he is only a third son. But he is the son of a duke so...’
Lizzy had had a horrible marriage to the Duke of Skeffington. She liked to remind everyone of her wealth and status, but Juliet knew that was because her sister had to find something in her life to be proud of. Without identifying that one benefit of being married to a man old enough to be her grandfather, who could verbally reduce a brawny footman to tears, Lizzy might have sunk into a deep state of melancholy—or become one of those women who escaped inside a haze of laudanum. Aunt Clara had often remarked she thought Lizzy was the most resilient of the three Sommersby sisters. Even if that were true, surely someone who had lived with a husband like that could understand Juliet’s reluctance to marry Monty.