Lauren kissed Ainslon’s lips, then stroked her fingers down Ainslon’s chin. “I’ll call you tonight.”
“I can’t wait.” A knock on the door grabbed their attention.
“That would be lunch,” Lauren said. “I wanted to make sure you three were fed.”
“You bought us lunch?” Ainslon grinned.
“Of course I did.” Lauren opened the door, then directed the man to place the bags on the table by the wall. The movement drew Ainslon’s eyes to the three small C and C gift bags on the table. As soon as the man walked out, Ainslon dragged Lauren to the small office, pushed her up against the wall, and kissed her like she’d wanted to do for days. The feel of Lauren in her arms drove her crazy. They were both panting when the kiss ended.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on?” Lauren asked, relaxing into Ainslon’s arms.
“You. You’re amazing.” Ainslon leaned forward, but stopped a breath away from Lauren’s lips, and looked into her eyes. “I’m going to kiss you again.”
Lauren arched a brow and closed the distance between them. Ainslon ran her hands up Lauren’s sides and gripped her waist. She pulled back when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Before Ainslon could kiss her again, Lauren pushed her away with a hand on the center of her chest.
“If you do that again, I believe your friends are going to get more than they bargained for.”
“You’re right. I…” Ainslon blushed. “Too much?”
“No, but I do need to get back.” Lauren kissed her cheek. “How do I look?”
Ainslon fixed Lauren’s hair. “Enchanting.”
“You’re cheeky.”
“Only for you. I’ll call you tonight?”
“Since it’s become our nightly ritual, you better.” Lauren pulled her along. “Justin, Easton, I’ll see you both later. Ainslon.”
The smile never left Ainslon’s face even when the door closed behind Lauren.
“I’m pretty sure you didn’t have that shade of lipstick on a half hour ago,” Easton threw out before picking up her sandwich and taking a bite.
“Your point?” Ainslon said, wiping her lips. She pulled her small gift bag near, then accepted the sandwich Justin handed her.
“No point. Just saying. I’m happy you’re happy.”
Ainslon sipped her water. “It’s your turn to pick up dinner for Nana tonight, isn’t it?”
Easton nodded. “Yep. She said she wanted Chinese. So, we’re having Chinese.”
Thirty minutes later, as Justin cleared off the table, the contractor arrived, and they got down to business. For the next few hours they discussed what changes needed to be made and by six o’clock, Ainslon was on her way home. She thought for a minute about stopping in to see Lauren but knew she didn’t have the time if she was going to get to dinner with her sister and Edna.
By the time Ainslon pulled into Edna’s driveway, she was beat. The shower she had before leaving didn’t do much to wash the fatigue away, but she would never miss one of these dinners if it was at all possible. Easton hadn’t arrived yet, so Ainslon joined Edna in the living room on the couch, but not before giving her a hug.
“You look dead on your feet.”
Ainslon sighed. “It was a long, but productive day. We have a plan and it’s going to look great, Nana.”
“I always knew you girls would do great things.”
“Thanks, but we’re only so well adjusted because of you.”
Edna chuckled. “I have no problem taking credit for it. In fact, I insist. Now,” she patted Ainslon’s leg. “How are things going with Lauren?”
“Great.” Ainslon sat up and turned to give Edna her full attention. “Really great. I’m going to spend the day with her tomorrow.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“I hope so. I want this to work.”
“And it will. Lauren is a smart woman. She knows what she’s doing. I can’t see her doing anything she didn’t want to. You’re in her life for a reason. Simply, because she wants you there.”
“You always know the right thing to say.”
“And don’t you forget it.” Edna pushed herself up and off the couch when the backdoor opened and Easton walked in. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”
Later, after they demolished the food, and bid their goodnights to Edna, Ainslon and Easton stood beside their cars.
“She looks tired,” Ainslon said, staring into space.
“More so than usual.”
“You went to her last doctor visit with her. You said everything was okay.”
Easton leaned back against the car beside Ainslon. “He said for someone her age she was in good health.” Easton clasped their hands together. “We have to face the fact that she’s getting older.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
“Don’t I know it. I don’t even want to imagine the day we have to say goodbye to her. If it wasn’t for her taking me in when my parents died, I don’t know where I would be right now.”
Ainslon choked back a sob and shook her head. “I can’t think about that day. I don’t know what I would do.”
“Me either, but she’s seems more tired lately. I hate to see her struggling so much.”
“Maybe we should talk to her about moving out of this place and into a retirement home.”
Easton snorted. “There is no way she would move into a place like that. Do you remember the last time we brought it up?”
“She didn’t talk to us for three days.” Losing Edna wasn’t something Ainslon ever thought about because it would be like losing a part of herself. Edna had always been there for her, and to think there would be a day when she wouldn’t didn’t sit right. That day was coming, Ainslon knew, but she couldn’t acknowledge it, not yet. “What do we do?”
Easton pulled Ainslon into a bone crushing hug. “Sis, I don’t think there is anything we can do. We visit with her a few days a week and talk with her every day. She has Shelly. I know for a fact they see each other every day. We’re doing everything we can. You know she wouldn’t let either one of us move in with her, and she wouldn’t move in with us.”
“I know.” Ainslon pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I know.”
“Now, it’s getting late and you have a busy day with your girlfriend tomorrow and I have a full day of baking ahead of me. I’m working on a few new recipes.”
“Good luck.” Ainslon kissed Easton on the cheek, bid her goodnight, then strapped herself into her car and headed home. The one thing that would help right now would be to hear Lauren’s voice, and as soon as she made it home, she would call her.
The day flew by and even though Ainslon had spent the previous evening with Edna, she looked forward to lunch with her today. Edna had called that morning and asked if she and Lauren would be available for lunch. It wasn’t an unwelcome request but still odd. Usually Edna was content with their weekly meet-ups. However as much she knew Edna liked Lauren, it was still scary. Ainslon pulled into Edna’s driveway, put the car in park, then turned to Lauren. “Still doing okay?”
“Edna and I get along fine. I’m not worried. Why are you?”
“You’ve never been here before.”
“It’s just lunch. What’s really bothering you?”
Ainslon sighed and pulled the key out of the ignition. “Nana hasn’t been feeling well lately and I’m worried about her.”
“I thought you said her check-up went well.”
“It did, but she’s old.”
“Darling.”
Ainslon wiped her eyes. “I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to her. She’s been my rock since I came to live with her. I can’t lose her.”
Lauren took her into her arms. “We can’t escape death, but what we can do is not let the notion of someone dying taint our view of them. It’s okay to be sad, but she’s not gone yet. She’s inside the house you and Easton grew up in and waiting for us to have lunch with her.” Lauren cradled Ainslon’s face. “I do
n’t know Edna well, but what I do know of her, would she really want you out here crying over her?”
“No.” Ainslon pecked Lauren on the lips. “No, she wouldn’t. Can we talk about this later?”
“Of course we can. We can talk about anything.”
Ainslon took a deep breath and blew her nose after accepting the Kleenex from Lauren. “You ready?”
“When you are.”
Ainslon opened the backdoor and held it open for Lauren to walk through.
“Nana,” Ainslon hollered.
“In the living room. Be a dear and bring me a cup of tea.”
“Sure.” Ainslon and Lauren worked silently side-by-side, getting the three cups of tea ready, then carried them into the living room. Edna was on the couch surrounded by photo albums. Ainslon got a sinking feeling. “Nana.”
“Ainslon, you sit in the recliner. And Lauren, you can sit here.” Edna patted the spot beside her on the couch.
“Do you happen to have any naked baby photos?” Lauren asked, smiling at Ainslon’s glare.
Edna patted Lauren’s knee. “That and then some.”
“Really, Nana?” Ainslon grew still the longer Edna stared at her. “You okay?” Edna nodded, then turned back to Lauren and pointed to a photo album on the far side of the coffee table.
“Why not start at the beginning?”
Ainslon sat quietly while Edna showed Lauren dozens of photos and told countless stories of Ainslon and Easton. She only corrected her a time or two when she got them mixed up in their later teenage years. Ainslon couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so much or seen Lauren smile so much.
After Edna closed the last photo album, she asked Lauren to switch places with Ainslon.
“Nana.” Ainslon got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Edna held Ainslon’s hand in-between hers. “I got an unexpected phone call last night.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I will never forgive them for what they did to you, Ainslon, but I won’t lie and say it wasn’t nice to hear their voices.”
She hadn’t talked to her parents in years. “What did they have to say?”
“Asked how I was doing, then asked about you.”
Ainslon laughed but it was hollow. “Why after all this time? This is the first time they’ve called, isn’t it?”
“It is, and why, they just wanted to talk. It’s been a long time.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive them,” Ainslon said.
“And that’s your right, but forgiveness isn’t about them, dear, it’s about you. It’s okay to forgive them, but it’s not something you will ever forget. Your mother mentioned something about visiting.”
Ainslon closed her eyes and tried to breathe evenly but her breaths were coming quicker than she could keep up.
“Ainslon.”
She felt hands cup her face.
“Listen to my voice, darling. Breathe. In and out. In and out. That’s it. Take a deep, steady breath.”
After what felt like a lifetime, Ainslon slowly opened her eyes and came face to face with a kneeling Lauren. She rested her forehead against Lauren’s. “I can’t see them.”
“Then you don’t have to,” Lauren said, rubbing her hands up and down Ainslon’s arms.
Edna agreed. “Oh, Ainslon, I told her I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.”
“No, Nana. If you want to see them, you should. I would never hold that against you, and I love you no matter what. Don’t make the decision for them to stay away because of me.”
“I would like to see them,” Edna said.
Ainslon would forever feel guilty if Edna made the decision not to see them because of her. To her, it felt like only yesterday they’d turned their back on her, and she wasn’t sure if those old feelings would ever go away. Her trust in her parents would forever be broken.
“I have something for you,” Edna said, then stood and walked out of the room. Lauren sat beside Ainslon, pulled her into an embrace, and kissed her forehead.
“This sure isn’t the lunch I had expected,” Ainslon said.
“It’s fine. I wish you weren’t hurting.”
“I think I’ll always hurt a little bit because of them.” Lauren made to stand when Edna walked in, but she waved her off and sat on the other side of Ainslon.
Ainslon’s eyes widened and her fingers trembled when she took the small wooden box into her hands. For as long as she could remember, the plain wooden box had always sat on Edna’s dresser. Ainslon knew the two items inside by heart; a cameo brooch and her grandpa’s Hamilton Pocket watch. “Nana, not yet.”
“I’m not getting any younger and I want to give you these items now. I gave Easton her items yesterday. I need to do this.”
Ainslon swallowed the lump in her throat. “Okay.”
“Easton got my recipe books and my pearl necklace, but that box and what’s in it has always fascinated you, even before you could walk. Your eyes would stay glued to it. You may never wear them, but I know you’ll take good care of them. When something happens to me, you can do whatever you want with the items in the house. Please don’t keep all this stuff. I don’t want you two weighed down by it all. I’m giving my permission now to sell whatever you two don’t want. You and Easton can split the pictures and of course, you two can keep whatever you want. I’m not going to haunt you for selling Great Aunt Martha’s dresser.”
Ainslon tightened her hold on Lauren’s hand to ground herself. “Anything else?”
“Dear, I know this is hard for you, but it needs to be said. I’ve already handled all my funeral arrangements. The house will go to you and Easton. Do with it what you will. Keep it or sell it. All my other assets will be divided between you two.” Edna pointed to a filing cabinet in the corner of the room. “All my papers are in there.”
“Okay.”
“Lauren,” Edna said.
“Yes.”
“You’re good for Ainslon. Don’t hurt her.”
“Never intentionally.”
“That’s what I want to hear.”
Edna stood and cupped Ainslon’s cheeks. “No tears, dear. I’m not dead yet, but it was time I told you girls my plans. It’s always better to be prepared. Now, I have some pie left. While I’m slicing us up some, it will give you two a few minutes alone.”
Once Edna was out of the room, Ainslon turned to Lauren. “I was not ready for that.”
“No, we never are. My mother sat us down a few years ago and walked us through her desires. She’s right, though. She’s not gone yet, Ainslon, and getting all this out in the open isn’t her giving up. She doesn’t want you or Easton to be blindsided.”
Ainslon wiped her eyes. “Do you think I can come over tonight and hang with you?”
“You’re always welcome in my home, darling. I would love to have you.”
“I wish Easton would have said something to me.”
“Maybe she wasn’t ready. Edna did want to talk to you both separately.”
Ainslon handed the box to Lauren and stood to take the tray from Edna when she walked back in. They all settled down on the couch and enjoyed their apple tart. They stayed for another hour, then Edna shooed them out with a box of photographs for Ainslon and the rest of the pie for Lauren.
Back in the car, Ainslon rested her head on the steering wheel and relaxed a little when Lauren rubbed her back.
“After you take me home, you should talk to your sister, then come by later for dinner and games.”
Ainslon raised her head, clasped Lauren’s hand, and kissed the palm. “You’re too good to me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I care about you. Of course I want to take care of you.”
I love you. The words lay on the tip of her tongue, but she knew it was way too soon to say them. “I care about you too.”
At half past six, Lauren ushered Ainslon into her condo. Lauren opened her arms wide and held Ainslon tight when she relaxed into her embrace.
The only thing Lauren could do was be there for Ainslon. Though her parents voiced their concerns when she came out, it didn’t take them long to put their doubts aside and embrace the fact that she was a lesbian. She didn’t dare assume what Ainslon was feeling.
In Ainslon’s shoes, she wasn’t sure if she would want to see her parents or not. It was a touchy situation either way.
“How are you feeling?” Lauren raised her hands and cradled Ainslon’s face.
“Tired.”
Lauren slid her hand down Ainslon’s arm, grasped her hand, and led her toward the couch, where they both sat. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“We talked. A lot. Cried. Laughed. Easton was sympathetic about my parents, but she could understand Nana’s point of view. I understand it too. It’s just a lot.”
“I’ve never been in your shoes, and I don’t want to assume what you’re going through, so you’ll have to tell me.”
“Why after all this time? Why now? I don’t understand, and on top of that, Nana. It’s everything at once.”
Lauren lay back and opened her arms. “Come here.” The moment Ainslon was in her arms, the worries of the day slowly melted away. “Do you want to talk about what happened with Edna tonight?”
“Honestly, tonight, I just want to be with you. I’ll deal with everything tomorrow.” She squeezed Lauren’s arms around her waist. “I believe you promised me dinner and games.”
“That I did.” After a moment of silence, “So, I was thinking.”
Ainslon turned in her arms. “What has you nervous?”
Lauren gulped. “Uh…If you wanted, I wouldn’t mind if you stayed tonight.”
“You’re asking me to spend the night?”
“Yes, but only for sleeping. You’ve had a big day.”
“That would be wonderful. I stopped by my apartment before coming here and spent some time with Shady. But I don’t have anything to wear.”
Lauren slipped her arms around Ainslon and pulled until they were nose to nose. “I do believe I can remedy that.” Ainslon lay her head on Lauren’s chest. Lauren placed a tender kiss on top of Ainslon’s head. “But, first let’s lie here for a few more minutes before we start dinner.”
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