by R A Lewis
He smiled and gestured down at himself.
“Neither have I.”
His nearness was making her feel strange, a little light-headed.
“I should go and bathe. Long day tomorrow.” She tried to turn, and made to leave the chamber.
“But you didn’t see your Maska.”
She froze with her back to him. How did this stranger, know her dragon?
“He’s just over there.”
She turned to see Nash pointing just past his own dragon.
“I can take you to him if you’d like.”
She shook her head.
“No, thank you. I can find him.” She marched past him, her battle braids flying out behind her as she hurried to get away from him.
“Nice to meet you, Queen Kalina,” he called after her cheerfully.
She rolled her eyes and rounded a large grey dragon to find Maska, already curled in a small emerald ball, asleep. Kalina stood near him, a hand on his warm side as it rose and fell, feeling his heat soak through her. She needed sleep too. Every muscle in her body ached and the caked blood was becoming uncomfortable, irritating her skin.
“Maska,” she whispered. He only raised a wing, inviting her into the space between his wing and his side. She slid in, forgetting her desire to take a bath, and lay with her back against his warm belly, letting his heat permeate her as he covered her with his wing. She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.
Chapter 6
Kalina’s chambers were cold and slightly wind-whipped. Freshly washed, she shivered, her silver hair wet and plastered to her clean linen shirt. She curled up in her bed, pulling the thick covers over her head and slept. Her dreams were filled with the blood and screams of her people. She saw Geir and his red dragon falling from the sky over and over, and when she tried to save him, she saw him lying dead on the battlefield, and felt helpless.
Sunlight streaming in her window, falling across her face, woke her. She stretched, her entire body aching from the fighting the day before. She took her time making her way to breakfast; once she was finished, she would have to face her council, and right now, she wanted to be alone. She went to visit Maska in the dragons’ chamber before grabbing food. He told her he preferred it there because he was with his own kind. It tore at her heart, but she knew he was getting too big to fit on her bed anyway and soon he wouldn’t make it into her rooms at all, he was growing so fast.
The dining cavern was crowded but quiet, the whole mountain subdued after the loss they’d suffered. Her people watched her as she crossed the chamber, heading for the food line and then for her rooms. Kalina couldn’t stomach eating in front of them, their eyes on her, judging and questioning her ability to lead, to be their queen. What kind of queen leads her people into a slaughter?
Her council members filed in a half hour later. She had barely touched her food, pushing it around her plate and nibbling. Her stomach was churning from the previous day’s events, for Geir’s loss, and for what her council might say. Everyone’s faces were set as they entered, taking their seats around the table. Kalina sat at the head, her back stiff, her stomach churned with anxiety. Leif was the last to enter. Rangvald and Kari looked sympathetically at the commander but Leif’s face remained cold, frozen in a mask. Kalina’s heart clenched at the sight, threatening to break apart, but she tried to hold herself together.
Arvid looked angry, and as Kari looked back towards the table her face held the same expression. Ingvar, usually quiet and mild tempered also looked ready to tear something to shreds. Asta and Eira looked calm, but sad. Finally, Kalina spoke.
“I think we need to recognize Geir’s loss in a public way, and the loss of the others on that battlefield.”
Heads nodded around the table. Asta spoke up.
“It used to be Valdir tradition to fire a burning arrow onto a funeral pyre. Perhaps we should build a large funeral pyre on the top of the mountain and light it. Give people a chance to publicly grieve.”
Kalina smiled. It was perfect.
“Yes. Let’s do just that. Honor the old traditions, before we came to this mountain, as well as show our people that we care. Remind them we are mourning alongside them.”
Leif looked up at her as she spoke, his face still stony but Kalina could see in his eyes that he was grateful.
“There is news. Some of our people left yesterday. Fled the mountain for Windpost and Jormungand,” Rangvald said into the silence that followed the funeral plans.
“What? Why?” Kari spoke up.
Kalina was stunned and she sat back in her chair as Leif explained the situation.
“Even though the catapults were not Kalina’s fault, some of our people are worried about the path we are heading down as a people.” He looked at Kalina, apologies swimming in his eyes. “They think that Kalina coming here and being crowned Queen has placed us in danger. Danger we haven’t faced before.”
They weren’t wrong, which was what hurt her so much. It was her fault people were dying. Kalina glanced at Leif but his handsome face remained closed.
“Then what are we going to do about Ethea’s King?” Kari’s voice was sharp, cutting through the tension in the room, fraying the ends.
People around the room shifted. Kalina knew she was queen, that she needed to have a plan, but she didn’t. She felt completely lost. She felt that all too familiar panic beginning to rise in her, flooding her body and making her brain feel fuzzy and stuffed with cotton, like she couldn’t think straight.
“What, no one has a plan?” Kari looked at them all incredulously. “Fine. I have one. Let’s attack them, go right to the source, right to the capital. Take the throne by force.”
The table erupted in talk, voices flying everywhere. Rangvald was of course against it, and he began citing the ways in which it could go wrong. Eira and Leif were quiet. Leif reached under the table and took Kalina’s hand, his warmth helping to dispel the panic welling up. Kalina needed to lead, no matter how badly she wanted to run from this room. Releasing Leif’s hand she stood, he shouldn’t be the one comforting her right now. The voices around the table went quiet, and Arvid and Ingvar’s eyes darted to her. She braced her hands on the table top, putting pressure on them until they turned white.
“We won’t be taking the throne. Not now, maybe not ever.”
Kari’s voice rose in protest and Kalina just raised a hand. Rangvald put a hand on his sister’s arm, forcing Kari into silence. The girl’s face hardened in anger and Kalina worried for a moment if Kari would do something reckless. But she felt her own conviction in her guts. She had no desire for the throne of Ethea. Only for peace.
“We will put permanent patrols along our borders, and we will send a small contingent to stay with our farmers in the foothills of the Great Grey Mountains. I won’t risk being unprepared, or leaving our people vulnerable.” Her eyes cut to Leif who sat beside her. He offered her a small smile and a slight shrug. She knew he didn’t entirely agree with her course of action.
“With respect, your Majesty,” Kari said, her voice like ice.
Kalina had never heard her sound this distant, this cold. Kari was always a bundle of energy and usually had a joke to crack, but this Kari was sick of losing people and clearly wasn’t going to just let it go.
“This won’t end until the king is defeated. We all know that.” She looked at each of the advisors in turn. “Just patrolling our borders, going on the defensive, will only drag this war out, make it last for years. We can’t survive a war like that again. And frankly, you always playing it safe is just going to get us all killed. If you won’t listen to your advisors, then why even have them?”
Kalina clenched her fists at her cousin’s words, digging her nails into her palms, trying to calm her own frustration and fear. She knew Kari was right, but knowing she would be sending people into the heart of the country to die, for her, she just couldn’t justify it. She couldn’t lose any more people, and her gut told her to wait.
“I unde
rstand. I will search for a way to make peace, but I won’t attack Ravenhelm.” Kalina turned and walked from her own rooms. “Council is dismissed.”
The others stirred behind her as she crossed the threshold and began to head down through the mountain towards the dragons. Emotions rolled through her, churning her gut, making her head ache. She longed for Maska and the open skies and, not for the first time, wished he was big enough to ride.
A general din filled the dragon’s cave, and despite the noise, Kalina felt her heart settle slightly at the sight, sound, and smell of them. She began weaving her way through the dragons, asking a few if they’d seen her Maska, making her way towards where she’d seen him sleeping the night before. She had to pass that same rock outcropping where she’d met Nash.
Kalina tried not to look like she was searching for him, but when her eyes alighted on his lanky figure lounging atop the rock, she immediately pretended she hadn’t seen him. A soft laugh echoed across the chamber, blending with the sounds of the dragons.
“Tough morning, your Majesty?” Nash’s voice rang out.
She winced before turning to face him. He was always so happy, smiling. It annoyed her but her own chaotic feelings felt strangely calmed by him. Nash stood atop the boulder, a rag in his hand. It looked like he had been cleaning his dragon’s saddle.
“You could say that,” Kalina said.
She began to walk past, not really wanting company, when he hopped down beside her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she stiffened.
“Sorry,” he said quickly, withdrawing his hand as if she’d burned him. “I just thought that you could maybe use a friend.”
She relaxed slightly and turned back to the young Valdir. His handsome face was full of concern as he watched her blue eyes. She let out a heavy sigh, and rubbed the space between her eyes.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need someone to talk to.”
She realized she had no one, that she was alone in this mountain. Normally she would have talked things over with Leif, or even Kari or Rangvald, but Leif was grieving, so were Kari and Rangvald, and Kari had made her stance abundantly clear at the meeting. Kalina felt like she had no one she could turn to. Talon was gone, and Eira was burdened enough as it was with her own children.
“Want to sit?”
He gestured towards the top of his rock and Kalina nodded. Nash’s dragon lowered her chocolate head, letting him and then Kalina climb on, and then she lifted them to the top of the rock. Kalina looked the warm brown dragon in the eyes.
“Thank you, Sitala.”
The dragon smiled lazily.
“You are more than welcome, your Majesty.”
Sitala then turned in a circle and laid down in a slight depression in the rock floor. Kalina often wondered at the similarities between dragons and cats. She distinctly remembered Moose, the cat from the library at the capitol doing the exact same thing. It made her smile as she settled onto the warm rock beside a lounging Nash.
“So, what’s on your mind?”
She hesitated before speaking. If she told this man what her problems were, would it be proving that she wasn’t ready to be queen? That she wasn’t meant to be here, leading these people? That those others were right to leave and join Jormungand? Would someone like Nash tell others that their queen had doubts and they would then lose all faith in her? Her stomach began to churn at the thought and she remained quiet. Nash shifted beside her.
“It’s okay, your Majesty. You don’t have to tell me anything. We can just sit here. In silence.”
He smiled at her, his eyes laughing. She finally smiled back, his humor helping to melt away her stress.
Before she could answer there was a faint whistling sound and something struck her shoulder, a sharp pain lancing through her. She gasped, falling backwards into the rock, looking around her wildly. She saw a figure running through the dozing dragons, silver hair and dark leathers marking them as a Valdir, but they were too far away to identify. Nash was yelling and the dragons in the cavern were waking up. A few began to fly off, and Nash cradled Kalina’s head. She looked down at her chest, a black arrow protruding from it. She looked at it curiously.
She looked up into Nash’s green eyes, wondering vaguely why he was so angry, the pain from her shoulder clouding her mind. The edges of her vision were slowly going black and with a sudden panic she wondered where Maska was and began to ask for him.
“Shh, your Majesty. Just lie still. Help is coming,” Nash said above her, his face filled with fear and worry.
Finally, she sank into a soft, velvety blackness.
Chapter 7
When Kalina woke, her shoulder was throbbing. Every little movement sent pain shooting up her neck and down her spine. She opened her eyes, searching for Maska, for Nash, for Leif. But Eira sat beside her bed, her wizened face drawn in worry. Kalina swallowed, her mouth dry and sticky. She tried to talk and a croak escaped her, alerting Eira. Eira sat up in her chair, reaching for the pitcher of water beside the bed and handed Kalina a mug of water to drink. She downed the whole thing in just a few gulps, handing the mug back for more.
“How long?” she managed to croak out. Her throat hurt vividly when she spoke.
“Three days.”
Eira poured her another mugful and Kalina drank it gratefully before allowing Eira to help her sit up, propping pillows behind her.
“What happened?” She had vague memories, just flashes of an arrow, Nash’s green eyes and a figure running out of the cavern.
“It seems you were shot by one of our own. An assassination attempt while you were down in the dragon’s cavern.”
“Did you catch them?” Eira shook her head sadly.
“No. They got away. We suspect Jormungand, but no one has been able to prove it.”
“Jormungand? Why would he do this?”
Her pain-muddled brain tried to make sense of the move. She knew he was unhappy she was queen, but to try to assassinate her? It didn’t make sense. Why not challenge her openly?
“It’s just a theory.” Eira patted her arm and changed the subject. “Feeling up to some food?”
Just then, her stomach growled loudly, making them both laugh. Kalina’s laugh devolved into wincing though as pain shot through her. Eira stood.
“I’ll be back with something to eat.”
Kalina lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes. She longed for Maska but knew he was safe in the dragon’s chambers. Leif came with her food a little while later, helping her tp sit up and eat a thin broth. It hurt to move but she knew she needed to eat.
“What happened to Nash?” she asked after she was done eating. Leif took the bowl away and set it on the side table next to her bed.
“He was questioned. We didn’t know if he’d been a part of the plot or not but his answers checked out with the story of the dragons nearby.”
She relaxed back; glad Nash wasn’t being blamed.
“Where’s Maska?”
Leif smiled at her.
“He was nearby when you were shot and he was there when we found you. He’s been asking after you every day.”
“I need to see him.” She tried to sit up further, making as if to climb out of bed, but a wave of pain hit her and she fell back onto the pillows. Leif was there in an instant, supporting her and helping her to lay back down. The feeling of his hands on her back and arms distracted her from her pain momentarily.
“You need to recover. You’ll be up and about soon enough.”
Kalina sighed as the pain subsided and she relaxed, resigned to her fate as a bed warmer.
Leif launched an investigation while she recuperated, throwing himself into the work to distract from his own grief at losing his father. But it dead-ended after Nash’s and the dragons’ questioning. No one had seen who the assassin was, just that they were Valdir. It frustrated Leif that he couldn’t keep her safe as he had promised his father. So he had taken to pacing her rooms, constantly on the lookout for any more dan
ger. Kalina doubted they would try to come back and finish the job when everyone was on such high alert.
They held a funeral honoring Geir and their dead warriors. Atop the red rock mountain from which they had carved their home was a graveyard of sorts. It contained markers for every Valdir who had died and pyres for the burning of bodies.
Kalina wore her cleaned and oiled red leathers along with a new white linen shirt for the ceremonies. Leif stood tall beside her, his own clothing equally pressed and clean. Kalina swallowed and reached to touch his hand with her good arm as they stood before the tallest pyre. Geir’s body was laid out, surrounded by the discarded scales of his blood red dragon. The night before, the dragons had carried out their own ceremony, sending his dragon Enola to their gods. Now it was the Valdir’s turn to send Geir to be with theirs.
Leif let go of her good hand as he was handed a lit torch. Kalina saw his throat bob as he stepped forward and lit the pyre, watching the flames spread hungrily along the fuel. Soon, Geir’s body disappeared into a towering inferno of flame, and Kalina was forced to take a step back from the heat.
Almost every single Valdir within the mountain was attending, making the flat plateau atop their mountain seem dangerously crowded. Kalina had to take deep breaths to calm the panic within her, all while trying to stem the flow of tears that slid down her cheeks. But she was undone when she saw Leif’s own grief-stricken face and she let her sobs come. She couldn’t imagine a life without Geir, and yet, here they were.
They burned the other bodies of their fallen that day as well. The mountain’s grieving filling up each room and hallway until it was an almost palpable thing. Kalina tried to move past her grief but small things continued to send her into spasms of sobs. Eira told her to focus on healing, and Kalina tried her best.
It took three more days for her to heal enough to walk without pain, and another three weeks to be able to use her shoulder. It was a long process and one that Kalina was impatient to finish. She grew more and more anxious as the weeks dragged on, and she knew she needed to find a way to distract herself. Eira had a small library full of books and scrolls containing relevant Valdir histories as well as some histories about Ethea and neighboring kingdoms. When Kalina could walk she spent hours in the small chamber where the books were kept, poring over manuscripts, partly out of boredom and partly in an effort to understand her own history and that of Ethea’s. As much as she was accepted by the majority of the Valdir, she was also heir to the Ethean throne.