by Dean Murray
My retiring so late meant I woke up only a few minutes before Adri did. I was lying on my side gazing at her when her eyes first flickered open. I couldn't resist smiling at her, but her response was entirely unexpected. She smiled back and then moved in as though planning on a kiss.
I pulled back. I didn't want to, but I wasn't going to leave her a broken shell once I was gone. I avoided her advance and hoped her ESP was up and running enough to realize it wasn't that I didn't like her.
It was silly really. The quickest way to ensure I didn't destroy her with an uncontrollable addiction would be to ensure that she hated me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
The first half of the day proceeded in more or less the same fashion. Biology started off a little shaky, but I put Mrs. Sorenson to rights fairly quickly. Despite our conversation the night before she'd thought she could get away with grilling Adri again. I'd spent a few minutes before I finally went to bed reviewing the chapter we were going to be covering, so I promptly tripped her up and made her look foolish in front of the rest of the class.
After the second time it happened we lapsed into an uneasy silence. She left Adri alone and I stopped making her look like an idiot. We'd spent the rest of the class trading messages via Adri's notebook. I expected to be able to keep her distracted by asking her questions about herself, but partway through she'd gotten obstinate and refused to answer another unless I promised to begin answering hers in return.
I should have said no and just stopped asking her about herself but I needed to know where she'd come from, what had created the thoughtful, vulnerable person who more than ever had me wrapped around her finger.
The only thing I managed to hold over her was a promise to pack her onto a plane if she touched onto things that were better for her not to know. She seemed to take the threat seriously. She went back to answering my questions, and I tried to touch on everything I could think of short of the recent events that still haunted her.
I was surprised when the entire pack showed up during lunch to wait while Adri took her makeup test. Apparently she'd been behind from starting out the year late, and Mrs. Campbell expected her to make everything up.
It was hard to tell how much of the pack's support was because they genuinely liked Adri and how much of it was due to increased harassment from Brandon's pack. Dom, Rachel, and even Jasmin seemed to fall into the former category which was no less than Adri deserved.
I'd been considering the latter problem for a while but hadn't hit on any likely solutions. They still outnumbered us, but the actual balance of power had evened out when I'd killed Nathanial and Simon. If they poached our territory again we could probably kill more of them, but they'd been very careful to avoid provocations since I'd challenged Brandon.
We could always assume a more aggressive stance in our own patrols, but that'd decrease the pack's chance of survival when the Coun'hij finally decided to get involved.
I pushed the problem away long enough to watch as Adri handed her test in, had it graded on the spot and then all but jumped up and down as Mrs. Campbell put a large, red 'A' at the top of the paper.
The pack crowded around her, full of congratulations, and I somehow found myself holding her hand again. I regretfully let go as we finished up lunch, and then headed off to my English class.
Physics flew by with extra speed, almost as if to make up for the fact that each of the classes I didn't have with Adri now limped by with unbelievable slowness.
Mrs. Alexander was still absent, so we were able to spend the entire time conversing. I hit upon an unexpected nerve when I asked her about her best date. She instantly blushed and looked away as if afraid to meet my gaze. I waited a couple of seconds and then finally reached out and lifted her chin up so I could see her face.
"What's the matter, afraid I'll be jealous?"
She slowly shook her head, obviously wishing she could look back down.
"No, there isn't anything to be jealous of. I'd never been on a single date before Sanctuary, and you know all about what's happened since I arrived."
"That sounds like the easiest one I've asked you yet. Why the sudden bashfulness?"
She sat silently, her heart pounding erratically for several seconds and then finally looked away and whispered.
"Because I'm worried once you realize just how much of a loser I was back home, how much of a loser I still am, you'll decide you don't belong with me."
It boggled the mind that someone so attractive hadn't dated before coming to Sanctuary, but it hardly seemed like a cardinal sin.
"Why would you not dating very much have any impact on how I feel about you?"
"Because in addition to being the most thoughtful boy I've ever met, you also happen to be rich enough to buy a small country. You're so incredibly gorgeous girls swoon when you walk into a room. How can I possibly compete against the kinds of girls who'll continue throwing themselves at you for as long as you're breathing?"
She'd started out at a whisper, but quickly gotten louder. By the time she finished talking she was loud enough to cause heads to turn back and look at us. I probably should have been concentrating on calming her down, but whenever she got really animated she started talking with her hands, which triggered all kinds of pounce instincts.
I reached out and captured her hands before responding.
"Please don't do that. The fact you didn't date until recently doesn't mean you're some kind of nerd. Even if it did, that wouldn't matter to me. Also, other girls who may or may not find me attractive are irrelevant. I don't want them, I want you."
It was completely the wrong thing to say given that I was supposed to be giving her room to decide whether or not she really liked me, but the words just slipped out of their own accord. It was so startling I accidentally let go of one of her hands, which promptly began gesturing as she tried to come up with a response.
I stomped on the urge to snatch her hand out of the air, and instead gently recaptured it. It was obvious she didn't believe me, so I opted for the appearance of arrogance.
"It's okay that you don't believe me yet, I'm equal to the challenge of convincing you."
She chewed on my answer for a moment and then jumped backwards in the conversation.
"Don't do what?"
It was a second before I realized what she was talking about.
"Your hands, you tend to talk with them when you're excited or angry, and it's very distracting. I mean for us. All of the motion results in a hundred tiny signals flooding my brain as my instincts try to decide whether you're prey to be chased, or a bigger predator that I need to flee from."
Adri's eyes went so wide I worried maybe I'd actually scared her.
"Oh, I didn't realize it was a problem. I'll stop."
"It isn't actually that bad. More like an itch you can't quite reach. Although, if you ever want to drive Jessica absolutely crazy, spend a few minutes around her fidgeting. She's the most naturally high-strung out of anyone besides Jasmin. The fact she's also a submissive only makes things worse."
I could almost see the gears spinning inside her head. Even when she was thinking about being vindictive she still looked sweet. She looked up at me with an innocent smile.
"She won't eat me if I do that?"
"No. If you're really worried about it just make sure that one of the others are in the room at the same time with you."
"Now that has some real possibilities."
I found myself pulling her to her feet as the bell rang, and mentally castigated myself for indulging in physical contact. Dom had promised to meet us at Mrs. Tiggs class, so we stopped by our lockers and then I escorted Adri to Spanish. We were halfway there when Brandon and Vincent sauntered into view.
I casually shifted Adri around so I shielded her, but they split up as they drew nearer. It was a classic flanking maneuver, but that didn't make it any less effective. Brandon's arrogant smirk said that he knew exactly how limited my options were.
Vincent exud
ed anticipation, which only increased as Adri's pulse wound up. I held her up with one hand as we closed the rest of the distance between us and them. I could feel that she wanted to lag back, wanted to turn and run even, but the moment we showed that level of fear we'd be lost.
I angled towards Vincent as the hall all but emptied of other students. Predictably Vincent stationed himself exactly in our way. He stuck his hand out and placed it against my chest to stop our progress. He followed the contact up with a burst of energy.
"You're in our way, half-breed."
Reference to my mother was probably an implied threat to what they wanted to do to her once I was out of the way. It was all I could do to keep my hands from balling into crushing fists. The course I did pick wasn't the most prudent, but anger overwhelmed my normal decision-making ability.
I let my right hand manifest a half-hybrid shape that was achievable by only a few shape shifters. The long, semi-retractable claws sank into Vincent's chest just far enough to draw blood. It was still a calculated risk, but someone would have to come by in exactly the right spot to be able to see anything out of the ordinary around Vincent's sizable form.
I joined the physical threat with an unseen menace, letting a spike of power free itself from my being. It was nothing in comparison to what Brandon was capable of, but I didn't have to scare Brandon, and Vincent's expression indicated he was suddenly remembering just how mortal he was.
"You forget yourself, mutt. As the leader of another pack, I'm due more respect than that. Should you or your dominant wish to push things further, I guarantee that your heart will decorate the floor before he can come to your aid."
The calm words carried just far enough for Brandon to hear them, and he stopped moving as he began calculating the odds. He could kill me, but if I was really willing to take Vincent with me then the packs would once again be evenly matched.
Before Brandon could make his final decision Dominic came rushing around the corner. She wasn't Jasmin, but apparently she tilted the balance far enough in our direction.
I returned Brandon's lazy grin with a tight smile of my own as I returned my hand to normal and shoved Vincent back into his alpha.
"Now why would we do a thing like that when we all know you're a dead man?"
Brandon's smile had turned into something more threatening, but he wasn't about to act on the implied threat. Dominic stopped just outside of attack range of Brandon and gathered herself, but I waved her back.
"If I ever really decide the outcome is a foregone conclusion, you'd better start watching out for your people. You'd be surprised just how many of them could disappear if I no longer worried about the consequences of my actions."
**
Everyone greeted my announcement that the harassment was going to stop with relief, but they'd taken too much abuse during the course of the day to get very excited about it. As expected, Jess had taken some of the worst of it, which meant she was shooting both Adri and me nasty looks the entire way home.
By the time we finally pulled up to the house, it was all I could do to keep my shape in place. Donovan felt the tension arcing between the various members of the pack and offered to push dinner back, but I told him to proceed with plans as normal. I turned to leave and then paused and asked Adri if she'd accompany me out to the garden.
The invitation hadn't been something I'd been contemplating, but the craving for her company continued to grow the more time I spent with her. She followed me out to the northwest corner of the carefully-tended refuge and took a seat next to one of the reflecting pools.
I'd expected her to ask what was wrong. That was the usual girl response, but she just sat quietly for almost thirty minutes until I finally calmed down enough to put a true leash on my beast.
I looked over at her, absently toying with a stalk of grass, and felt something inside me push unplanned words out of my mouth.
"Will you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to the Ashure Day festivities?"
Several minutes passed before she responded. I was half convinced that she was going to refuse me when she did finally turn back to me.
"Is this because of earlier? Because I told you I don't expect you to stay with me?"
I opened my mouth to respond to her and found a truth I hadn't realized before.
"I've actually wanted to ask you for quite a while. Hearing that Brandon was taking you was harder for me to accept than you might imagine. My asking you now has nothing to do with our conversation from earlier today."
"Why are you doing it now then? I half expected you to try and send me out of the country again. An invitation to the local equivalent to Prom was the last thing on my mind."
"My taking you to the dance is one of the more selfish things I could be doing. It represents so much of what I want, but is wrong for you on almost every level. I guess I've just decided I'm tired of trying to be good when I have so little time left."
"Why is that selfish? Most people would think you were being quite charitable taking the new girl to the big dance when you could have your pick of anyone in the school and half the females in the state."
She was so focused on everyone else she couldn't see how amazing she was, but it wouldn't do any good to try yet again to convince her. More important was ensuring that she understood what exactly was at stake. I reached over and took her hand, purposefully exposing her to the addictive sensation of my touch.
"Can you feel that? I mean, it feels good, doesn't it?"
She looked like she was going to giggle, but managed to keep a straight face as she stroked my hand.
"I think it's supposed to feel good, silly."
"Have you ever wondered about my mom? I mean, why she's the way she is?"
She was obviously confused; I waited as she looked for a way to respond.
"What do you mean? I've only met her the one time. She seemed normal enough. I guess a little distracted…"
I found myself laughing at her answer. It wasn't a happy sound, but I couldn't help myself.
"She's definitely distracted. You could even say utterly disconnected from the world. Completely free from the present, always living in the past."
"I don't understand how any of this ties together."
It seemed utterly cruel to come right out and say it, but she wasn't leaving me any other choice.
"It's all the same thing. Our touch, my touch, it's like a drug. It's addictive, subtly, so subtly most humans never even realize what is happening to them. I've seen what it's done to my mother. How can I say I love you if I turn around and do the same thing to you?"
Apparently I'd finally managed to break through the distraction of being so close to me. She looked like she'd been struck. I waited once again for her to say something, but this time it seemed as though she wasn't going to find the words she was searching for. I could see the condemnation and mixed horror growing in her expression as she realized exactly what'd been done to my mother, what I'd been doing to her.
"We're where the legends of succubi originated. Irresistible demons who drain their victims dry, who leave their lovers a hollow shell of what they were before. Do you understand now? My getting closer to you is the ultimate form of self-gratification. It's the worst possible thing I could do to you. If you somehow survive everything that's about to happen, it would leave you forever hungering for another touch, but never able to fulfill that desire."
She shook herself as though awaking from a nap and placed a hand on my lips.
"None of that matters. All I want is to be with you, and if we're as likely to all die as you seem to think we are, then the state of my mind after you're gone is hardly something worth wasting worry on. I accept your invitation. As much as I hate the very thought of going to any formal dance, I can think of nothing better than going with you."
"That's the addiction, the Ja'tell bond talking."
She sighed in regret, or possibly frustration, as she released me and moved back several inches.
> "There, I'm not touching you, and I still want to go to the dance with you. Want it more than anything else."
I knew I should tell her no, but I'd been willing, wanted even, to go when she hadn't known. Now that she understood and still wanted to go with me how could I do otherwise than take her? Only she didn't really understand, couldn't understand until it was too late.
"This is a mistake. The worst kind of mistake because we both know it's wrong and we don't care."
"I don't think it's a mistake. I don't even think it is wrong."
"But if you did, would you care?"
"Probably not, but that doesn't change the fact that this is what I want to do."
I should have said no, but we both knew I wouldn't, that I wasn't strong enough to do the right thing. I wouldn't have felt as guilty if I'd had a plan to get her away to safety. Instead all I could think about was just how little time we had left together.
Chapter 28
Rachel found me a short time after I asked Adri to the dance.
"Did you finally do it?"
"What are you talking about?"
She grinned up at me with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes.
"If you haven't done it already, you need to get a move on and ask Adri to the dance."
Rachel laughed at my shocked expression, waiting as I scrambled for an answer.
"How did you know I was going to do that?"
"That's easy, Alec. You needed to ask her. I could see it in a dozen different ways, but they all boiled down to the fact you couldn't be you and not go to the dance with her. We need to start making plans immediately. I bought a dress for her while we were down in Vegas, but we need a ton of other stuff. Oh my gosh, I forgot to get her shoes!"
I stopped Rachel before she could run away in a panic.
"I think I can take care of the shoes, sis. Just don't say anything to her."
She looked for a minute like she thought I was coming down with something, but instead of reaching up to take my temperature she shrugged and skipped away to find Adri.