She smiles, though it looks forced. “At least you still have all of the things from when you were rich. You could sell them. That’s what I would do.”
“I never even thought to do that,” I admit. “How dumb does that make me?”
I know Killian would have thought of that, too. Like Shannon, he’s a true survivor. Both of them do whatever it takes to get by.
Shannon doesn’t answer. She has no idea what to say. And why would she? Who can relate to the rich girl who loses her fortune?
“Did I ever tell you his friends call me rich girl?” I sigh at the thought of Chase and his attitude toward me in the beginning. “Or at least they did when we first started dating. I should have known a long time ago we were never meant to be together. The odds were stacked against us from the start. Our relationship started with a lie. Why should I expect our end to be any different?”
“You’re giving up.” Shannon cups my hand on the bed, her eyes pinning me in place. “He needs you. Don’t let his behavior take away from everything you’ve done to help him. I don’t know Killian as well as you do, but Jamie is really close to him. Right now, Killian feels like his entire world is falling apart. He’s in a self-deprecating mode. Don’t give up on him or your relationship, not when he needs you to be the glue to hold it all together. I wish I would’ve heard Jamie out when he tried to convince me that he wasn’t dating Cece. Instead, I let months go by where we weren’t together, only to realize I was an idiot not to give him a chance. I could have lost him forever over a misunderstanding. Don’t let that happen with Killian, or you will regret it, that much I can promise you.”
I swipe the tears from my cheeks and glance over at Shannon. “He needs to come to me if he wants to make this right. I’ve already done so much to try to help him. Killian doesn’t want me around. It’s like I was only good enough when he needed me to wait on him the first two weeks, and then once he got addicted to those pills, he didn’t want me around anymore.”
“He told you he loves you,” she points out.
“While he was high on pills,” I counter.
“He loves you, girl, you know he does. I see the way he looks at you. It’s like you’re his property. Like you belong to him. The way he watches over you is intense.”
“Then why isn’t he here?” I throw my hands out at my sides, frustrated. “If he cares so much, he wouldn’t have pushed me away. He would have done everything in his power to make me stay.”
She taps me on the back. “Typical man. He’ll come around. Just give him some space and time to think.”
* * *
Staring down at the final exam on my desk, I bite my pen cap and sigh. This test is hard as hell. With everything that’s happened over the last few weeks, my focus has gone out the window. Killian has consumed so much of my thoughts that I can’t even think straight, let alone study for the final test of the year. So, when he slides into the desk next to me and says, “Hey,” I assume I’m hallucinating.
It smells like him, his masculine scent filling my nostrils. I didn’t realize how I missed something as small as his scent. As I look up and into his eyes, my heart leaps out of my chest. He’s beautiful, if you can even say that about a man, all hard lines and chiseled features. I take in every inch of the face I’ve memorized in vivid detail burning every inch of him into my brain.
When I close my eyes at night, I think of him as I drift off to sleep. He’s even there when I wake up—his scent, his face, and every stunning part of him so real when he comes to mind. And he’s always on my mind. I’ve missed him so damn much I’m in physical pain without him.
“Hey? That’s all you have to say to me after avoiding me for an entire week?”
He sinks into his chair, fisting the test he must’ve gotten from the professor, his emerald irises fixed on me. Oh, how I’ve missed his eyes. I so often lose myself in them, unable to look away when he pins me down with one of his serious gazes.
“I’m sorry, Jade. I know I’m a fucking bastard, and you have every reason to hate me. But can we, at least, talk after class?” When I don’t answer, his bottom lip quivers a little bit. “Please,” he pleads, the desperation in his tone hitting me in the stomach.
I nod, the look on his face slicing deep inside my chest. He flashes a triumphant smirk, the right corner of his mouth turning up slightly, though I don’t miss that the sadness hasn’t left his eyes. I hate seeing him with his arm casted and in a sling, but what guts me the most is the looks he gives me. The man I’ve fallen in love with is still inside, and maybe with some time and work, we can get back to the place we once were.
After I hand in my exam, I exit the classroom and meet Killian in the hallway where he’s waiting on a bench biting his bottom lip. He’s nervous, and so am I, but he looks so damn sexy as he teeth graze his bottom lip. I want to be his lip right now.
Of course, Killian finished the final before me. He’s so damn smart that I hope he at least takes Jamie up on his offer to work for him on his new game. Killian has a future whether it’s in tech or hockey. I just hope he sees that before he ruins everything good in his life.
He stands and slings his bag over his shoulder as he approaches me. Towering over me, he stares down licking his lips like he wants to throw me over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Jade.” He reaches out to grab my hand, and I allow him to slip his fingers between mine. “I messed up. I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”
A gentle spark flickers between us. No matter how many times we touch, the feeling never dissipates. If anything, it only grows stronger with each day that passes.
“You hurt me, Killian.”
He leads me down the hall away from onlookers. When we hit a dead end, he pushes my back against the wall with his good hand on my shoulder. “I love you, baby. I meant what I said when I was high on pills. I know I fucked up beyond belief, and if you’re smart, you will tell me to fuck off and walk the other way, but I hope you don’t. I never needed anyone until I met you. I used to think I was doing everything for Finn and my mom, but now I want to be a better man for you. I still don’t deserve you. I will probably never do enough to deserve you. But I want to try… if you’ll let me.”
“Killian,” I whisper, my breath catching in my throat. He slides his hand up to my face and cups it in his big hand. “I love you, too. You know I do. But you can’t keep shutting me out when things don’t go your way. I get that you’re in a lot of pain. I can’t even imagine how you feel right now, but I do know that I wouldn’t have pushed you away. I would have wanted you by my side to help me navigate the rough patches.”
“I want that, too.” His deep voice sounds so desperate, a hint of sadness to his tone. “I swear if you give me one more chance, I will never do that to you again. I’ll work through my shit with you. Being apart has only made me see how much I need you. I never needed anyone in my life. I was always the one taking care of people, so when I started to feel dependent on you, it scared the fucking shit out of me. I didn’t know how to process how much I love you. Because in my experience, the things I love get taken away from me. Nothing I ever plan works out in the end.”
“Don’t do that to yourself, Killian.” I cover his hand with mine, and when I do, he lowers our hands from my face down to my stomach.
His fingers tickle my belly over the thin fabric of my shirt, and that feeling that Killian produces every time stirs inside me. “It’s true,” he counters. “No matter how hard I try, everything always goes to shit. It’s the Kade curse.”
I laugh. “You’re not cursed, silly. Everything will work out. I know it will.”
He leans in closer, our lips almost touching. His breath sends chills down my arms and causes my body to go rigid. I can’t move when he’s this close to me. Every nerve ending in my body comes alive from our proximity, his hesitation driving me wild. Killian never asks for permission. My man takes what he wants. That’s how he got me in the first place. So, why is he waiting for me to make the firs
t move?
“You better kiss me right now,” I say against his lips. “Before I change my mind.”
He chuckles, his laughter shaking through me as he presses his lips to mine. Taking my bottom lip into his mouth he sucks on it, his tongue rolling over my bottom lip. I get lost in his kiss, the sensation of his tongue tangling with mine so overwhelming my head spins from the passion and intensity of it.
We stand in the hallway, his erection digging into my stomach as I hook my right leg around his back, lips locked and bodies joined together. He groans with each flick of my tongue, and I moan in response to the pleasure spreading throughout my body.
I don’t know how long we kiss, but once he pulls his lips from mine, I have to grip his shoulder to maintain my balance.
“I want to continue this,” he says, practically panting against my lips. “Remember the cabin in the Poconos I mentioned before I got into the accident?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“I’m taking you there this weekend. I booked it last night.”
“That’s presumptuous of you. How did you know I would say yes?”
He steps back and shrugs. “Are you saying no?”
I shake my head, laughing. “Of course not, you idiot. But you shouldn’t have assumed I would say yes.”
“A long time ago I told you I’d never lose.” His husky voice sends a tremor down my spine.
The confidence he once exuded has returned, the cocky man I’ve come to know and love standing right in front of me.
About damn time.
I reach up to touch the side of his face, brushing my fingers against the dark stubble along his angular jaw. “I only date winners,” I shoot back, laughing. “So, good thing you’re back to acting like one.”
Laughing, he dips down to kiss me, a quick peck that heats my cheeks. He leans his forehead against mine, and we stay that way for a while before a classroom empties into the hallway.
Killian holds out his hand to me. “Can I walk you to your next class?”
I smile up at him. “You can walk me anywhere you want.”
“I’d follow you to end of the earth,” he jokes, though I think he means every word.
Chapter Twenty-One
Killian
Jade looks beautiful standing in front of the long wall comprised mostly of glass, her naked body on display as she stares out at the lake. Pressing her hand to the window, she stands there in awe of the moonlight as it hits the water just right. We’re alone up here in the Pocono Mountains with complete privacy. Our closest neighbors are a few houses over, which is about a mile away.
We should have come here a long time ago, but I had to become my own worst enemy and almost lost her forever before I could pull my head out of my ass long enough to realize what I was losing. The fact she took me back says a lot about Jade. She’s a good woman with a big heart and one of the best people I know. I don’t know where I’d be without her. In a short amount of time, she’s changed my life for the better.
I come up from behind her and brush my good hand over her hip, digging my fingers into her soft skin. “I have the best view in the world.”
“Oh, I know, isn’t this incredible?” Jade asks.
“I meant you, Jade.” I hover my mouth over her neck, tilting her head to the side with my casted arm, moving her hair out of the way as I lean down to plant soft kisses along her skin. “You’re so beautiful.” I slide my hand over her stomach until I reach the wetness between her thighs. “Fuck, baby. You’re ready for me already? That was fast.”
She leans back so I can see the smile that reaches up to her perfect blue eyes. “I’m always ready for you.” My erection digs into her back as my fingers slip inside her soaking wet pussy, and she purrs, “Mmm… I see you are, too.”
“I missed you,” I admit, raking my teeth along her neck, nibbling as I push another finger inside her. “I wanted to show you how much. I have a lot of missed time to make up for.”
“I see you’re not the only one who missed me.” A ghost of a smile crosses her lips for a split second before her eyes close from the pleasure. She moans, my name on the tip of her tongue.
“You guessed right,” I growl. “I need to be inside you again. Two times isn’t enough.”
“Since when do you say what you want? Go ahead and take it.”
She’s right. I never ask for permission to do a damn thing. We wouldn’t be here right now if I did. From the start, Jade has always known the right things to say to drive me insane. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her.
“My God, woman. I fucking love you.”
With my hand on Jade’s shoulder, I bend her forward. She holds her palm to the window, her reflection staring back at me through the glass. Her tits look even bigger from this vantage point, her nipples hardened peaks that are begging to be touched. My cock is throbbing, the need to be inside her again too intense to ignore. Quickly, I remove my fingers from her pussy and replace them with my cock, slamming into her in one quick thrust.
“Killian,” she whispers. “Oh… I love you, too.” She moans again. “So much.”
Keeping my casted arm at my side, I curse to myself that I can’t slide both of my hands to her hips, so I squeeze her tight with the left one, rolling the pad of my thumb over her ass cheek. I’m so close to getting rid of this damn cast which keeps getting in the way of taking Jade the way I want.
Her skin is so soft beneath my rough and calloused hand. She’s so beautiful and perfect and so fucking mine. We were never supposed to be together, and yet here we are. This is my graduation present to her and the start of our future together. I will never make the mistake of letting her go ever again.
After she comes, I lead her over to the bed. She makes room for me between her legs, and when I break through her inner walls, she moans and digs her nails into my back hard enough to draw blood. I rock into her, going slower than before, taking my time. I wish this moment could last forever.
Burying myself inside her, we become one, our bodies fused together. Her body molds to mine so perfectly, I have no doubt we were made for each other.
Leaning on my casted arm for support, I kiss Jade’s neck, slowly making my way to her lips which part for me. I slip my tongue into her mouth and claim every part of her.
She digs her heel into my ass with another moan, her tight, wet pussy clenching my cock as she comes once more. Holding me in a vise, she milks my cock, taking me closer to the edge. I chase the high I want, desperate for release, and not long after, she loses all control and so do I.
Rolling off her, I collapse onto the other side of the bed. She curls up at my side, her head resting on my sweaty chest. I like being in control, and Jade knows it. But sex with this fucking cast on is so much harder. I’m tired after going three rounds since we got up here, and after spending so much time away from her, I’m pretty sure I could go all night.
Though, Jade looks tired. She yawns, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.
“One more time,” she says, but her eyes are closing, exhaustion taking over. “I promise I’ll stay awake.”
“Night, my love.” I kiss her forehead and hold her as she drifts off to sleep.
* * *
After four weeks, it’s time to find out if I can play hockey again. This time, by a doctor I know. I lied to Dr. Walsh about where I had my arm set and for good reason. Admitting I stole a car and had to have a concierge Mob doctor fix me up was not an option. Chase and I were lucky enough to walk away from the accident without the police on our asses. They didn’t have any fingerprints or physical evidence to trace it back to us, but still, I was nervous after winning those races and getting away with so many crimes that my streak of good luck had run out for good, and I knew it.
Jade sits next to me on the exam table in the doctor’s office. She holds my hand as Dr. Walsh works on the other one to remove the cast. My girl looks anxious as if she’s holding her breath which doesn’t leave much room for me to be nerv
ous, too. After he’s finished, the doctor turns my arm from left to right. He’s inspecting every movement.
“So far, so good,” Dr. Walsh says. “I think you might have lucked out, Killian. I have to do a few more tests, and you’ll need a little bit of rehab, but you should be okay to play hockey in a few months.”
“A few months?” I stare at him in shock, surprised I still might have a chance after all my dwelling and moping around. “Really?”
Why am I surprised the Mob doctor was wrong? I should have come to a legit doctor sooner, but I was too busy taking pills and moping around my bedroom like some loser.
“It’s not a guarantee,” Dr. Walsh says. “Nothing is certain. But I think you have a good chance of getting back to where you were before the accident.”
Jade blows out the breath she was holding and squeezes my hand tighter. She turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “This is the best news ever.”
I wish I could be positive and think of this as a win. Still, I can’t help but feel like my chances are slim.
Dr. Walsh checks my arm once more, and then he lowers it to write on my chart. “I wish I could say for sure that you will play hockey again, but it’s likely.” He scribbles a few notes and then tucks my chart under his arm. “Do you have any questions?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Thanks, Dr. Walsh.”
The doctor leaves and closes the door. I slide off the table, and Jade stands, tugging her skirt over her thighs. I can’t help but stare, dirty thoughts racing through my mind.
“How does it feel not to have the cast on?”
I glance down at my hand and shrug. “Different, I guess. I’m glad it’s off. I hated having to be careful when I got in the shower or when I fucked you. Plus, it itched like fucking hell. I definitely won’t miss it.”
She chuckles. “And I won’t miss having to grab a coat hanger to stick down there to scratch your itch in the middle of the night.”
Kissing Killian: Face-Off Legacy #5 Page 14