I had a few new songs I wanted to play around with, and I was eager to get together so we could experiment with a couple of ideas I had.
Normally, since we were all away from home, the guys brought their wives and girlfriends. Usually, they all hung out together, leaving me and the band to work. I would have preferred to be with Steph all day, but I was compelled to work on the new songs, while they were fresh in my head.
Thankfully, Jenny, the wife of guitarist Art Rogers, took Steph under her wing. When Steph mentioned the dinner tonight, Jenny whisked her off for an afternoon of shopping.
I was able to get Jenny alone before she left, handing her my credit card and insisting she allow me to buy Steph some new clothes. It was the least I could do, as the reason she had to go shopping was because of me. I knew Steph didn’t have a lot of money, so I told Jenny to do it on the down low if Steph made any arguments, and just have it sent to our hotel.
I watched them leaving, wishing I could go with them suddenly, which was crazy. I had requested this session, so why did I want to leave with them?
I knew the answer. Steph.
This intense need to keep her close was getting worse. For months I had thought of her, confident once we were together, the need for her would ease.
I was still waiting for that to happen. It had only been a few days, I reminded myself. I just hadn’t spent enough time with her yet, and I told myself to be patient. But this gnawing compulsory feeling hadn’t abated.
With a sigh, I turned back to the band. I wanted her gone, because a couple of the songs were inspired by her, and I wanted them to be perfect before she heard them. There was a part of me that wanted her to be unaware that I had written songs because of her; about her. With her here, how could I hide them from her?
It was important to me that I share with her only when the ideas I had were finished. She knew me, she knew my music oftentimes was about what I saw and felt. Hadn’t she been intuitive enough to realize my song titled With You was about my own personal experiences?
When she heard the song, she had assumed it was written with some other woman in mind, but it hadn’t. I had been compelled to write the song after my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about her.
I didn’t dissuade her from her beliefs because I wasn’t ready to admit to her what I was feeling. I snorted. Hell, I didn’t even know what it was I was feeling, and I didn’t want to scrutinize it either. Maybe I was afraid of what I would find if I looked too closely at my feelings for Steph. Instead, I was just allowing myself to enjoy her.
Last night, as we spent the evening together, it dawned on me that I had no one to share my dreams, my goals, my hopes and even my fears.
Sure I had my dad who I knew I could call anytime, and friends. But with Steph, I could tell she cared about me, more than a friend or family member. It was deeper and more profound, and I had never realized what I was missing all those years without someone like her in my life.
I craved her company, needed her steady influence and unwavering support of me. But I knew I was still learning on how best to support her. I needed to learn how to take care of another person’s needs. I had lived too long thinking only of myself. With Steph, I wanted to take care of her. Financially wasn’t a problem but emotionally? Yeah, that scared the hell out of me, and something I had never done with another woman before.
I had already made so many mistakes with Steph, I feared for us, frightened of screwing up so bad, she left me.
Forcing thoughts of her away, I made my way to the band and started going over with them the words I had written, and the music I heard in my head, knowing with their help, I could successfully create what my head was hearing.
Art, my guitarist, was so talented, and he had a way of interpreting my thoughts. His ideas always astounded me, and I felt so thankful that he and I had met.
Success was never earned on your own, I believed. Every success came with others involved, either through inspiration or contributions of some sort. I couldn’t write a great song unless I had people to write about and collaborate with.
Hours passed, and we all were sitting around, drinking beer from a keg Leo had brought, excitement evident in my voice, I am certain. I was thrilled with the strides we made today. I felt more confident than ever that what we had created was good; really good.
I was starting to get a buzz from the beer, and it was only 3:00pm. I know I needed to slow it down, as we had the benefit dinner to attend this evening, but it felt good to relax.
As I sat here with the best of my friends, and the anticipation of seeing Steph, it dawned on me how happy I was. Sure, I had been happy before, but it was the anticipation. The anticipation of the evening with her and the days ahead we still had left that caused my heart to speed up.
And when she walked back in the room after being gone all afternoon, I couldn’t stop the catch in my breath.
The first thing I noticed was her smile. I never remembered her smiling as much as she had in the last three days. The thought pleased me, as I rose to meet her.
My body reacted to her too. It was as if last night had never occurred, and the rush of desire I was experiencing surprised me.
And perhaps some of what I was feeling showed, because when I pulled her in my arms, the kiss we shared was explosive, my lips returning to hers again and again. I was reeling, my desire for her gaining in intensity, so that all I wanted was to get her out of here and back to our room.
I forced myself to back off, breaking contact with her, even though my body was screaming at me for release.
“Come on,” I said turning away from the temptation she offered.
I heard her behind me, and went over to the keg, filling up a glass and turning, handing it to her.
Her cheeks looked red, like the heat outside had caused the flush staining her cheeks.
“I can’t wait to show you my new dress,” she said breathlessly.
I smiled at her, enjoying her excitement. I looked over to where Jenny stood with her husband Art, and Jenny just nodded to me, winking at me.
“Tell me about it,” I asked her huskily, sitting down at a chair nearby, pulling her down so she was sitting in my lap.
She took a sip of the beer before responding. “Jenny took me to this really cool boutique that had the absolutely cutest clothes. She made me try on dress after dress, but I knew this one was my favorite as soon as I tried it on.”
“But we had it delivered to the hotel, so you don’t get to see it until tonight,” she said warningly.
She wiggled around, looking over her shoulder at me. “How did your session go? Successful?”
It was all I could do not to touch her. I still wanted her, more now that I had before, I thought wonderingly.
Last night, I forced myself to just hold her as we fell asleep. I ached to make love to her again, but I knew she must have had some soreness and I didn’t dare cause her any more pain then I already had.
I wished we had more time this morning, but instead we had overslept and both had to hurriedly dress and leave.
Right now, I forced myself to tamp down the hunger I was feeling. My cock was rock hard right now. But it was important she understood that I wanted more than just sex from her, that I wanted to be with her, do things with her, but the need to be inside of her was dominating my thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m happy with the new songs. We played around with a different sound, and I think it’s going to add a dimension to my music that we have never had before,” I said stroking her arm.
I couldn’t help myself. The feel of her squirming on my lap and the look of happiness on her face, I had to touch her.
“But, we do need to get back to the hotel, start getting ready for our night out,” I murmured huskily.
She set her glass down on a side table, and was preparing to stand up when I stopped her, my hands grasping her hips.
“Wait a minute,” I said willing my cock to cooperate.
She turned back at
me, her eyes smiling back at me. “You have a one track mind, don’t you?”
I bit back my response, wanting to admit that only with her was I like this. I needed to keep things light between us. The last thing I wanted was to scare her away, and I knew I would. The intensity of feeling she caused in me scared me, so I could only imagine how it would make her feel.
“OK, let’s say our good byes and get out of here,” I said.
Before too long, we were back in the room, and when we walked in and I saw the half dozen bags sitting on the table, I watched Steph’s expression as she looked through the bags, surprise evident.
“But I didn’t purchase all of these?” she said in confusion.
“I did,” I said quietly.
She turned to me; her face had a frown on it. “But how?”
“I asked Jenny to buy some things from me to you.” I hurried on when I felt her beginning to understand. “I wanted to give you something, and besides, we still have a couple more days, and engagements scheduled for both days.”
She acted like she was going to protest, but then she visibly relaxed and walked over to me.
“Thank you,” she said reaching up to bring my head down to hers.
The touch of her lips, soft against mine, just put me over the edge. I deepened our kiss, my lips slanted against hers, hunger overwhelming me. I pulled my mouth away so I could pull her t-shirt over her head.
The black of her bra against her white skin, her tiny stomach and her tight blue jeans caused a lump in my throat.
“Let’s go to bed,” I growled, picking her up in my arms and carrying her to the bed. I lay her flat on her back, and rolled on top of her, my arms holding my chest away from her. I gazed down at her and emotion surged through me.
Bending my head, I breathed in the smell that was Steph, the tip of my nose running down her neck. I had taken off my t-shirt, and I could feel her hands at my lower back.
Desire for this woman coursed through me, and I arched my hips against her, letting her feel how strong my desire for her was.
Pulling down the straps of her bra down her arm, one of her nipples was exposed and my mouth closed over it, groaning over the top of it, before my tongue came out to taste her.
Hearing her moan of pleasure spiked my pleasure and my hand ran down her taunt stomach until I reached the waistband of her pants. With deft hands, I unsnapped and unzipped her pants, sliding my hand into panties.
The silky softness that met my hand, wet and hot made me ache for her.
“Oh baby,” I muttered, “I need to be inside of you.”
Working my finger up, I softly stroked her clit, rubbing it slowly while my lips found hers, thrusting my tongue deep in her mouth.
Her gasps against my lips excited me, causing my cock to ache in need.
“Please,” she begged against my lips and I was lost.
With a sudden frantic movement, I pulled her pants down and off of her, taking her panties with it. I had rolled on the side of her, and when her pants were gone, she reached down and touched herself causing me to moan, pulling off my pants as an urgency to be inside of her overwhelmed.
“I need you,” she moaned her legs spreading wider.
I groaned, reaching for a condom, and rolling it down my stiff cock.
I rolled on top of her, putting my hands under her ass while I kneed her legs wider.
With a grunt, I thrust inside her in one pump, pulling up on her ass to meet my stroke.
I tried to keep the tempo slow but when she started bucking underneath me, begging me, “I need you deeper.” Well, I felt any control I had snap.
Grinding against her while I pumped furiously inside her, it wasn’t long before her body’s spasms caused me to join her, groans of pleasure spilling from me.
As we both tried to catch our runaway breaths, I was astounded how strong our passion for each other was.
Normally, my desire waned but with Steph, I felt as though it was getting stronger, more intense.
And to have a woman that was with me every step of the way like Steph was, well it just made my desire grow stronger.
CHAPTER 14-STEPH
The next few days flew by. I wasn’t ready for my time with Davis to be over, and I swallowed hard, trying to force the lump I felt growing in my throat to go away.
I swore I wasn’t going to cry, but as we arrived at the airport, I knew I was quiet, but so was he.
We hadn’t discussed where we go from here. He hadn’t mentioned when we would see each other again, and I tried not to read anything into that. Likely, he just didn’t know what his schedule was. Regardless, I felt like the dream I had been living for the last few days was over, and I ached.
Now, as we stood in the departures section of the airport, I wrapped my arms around Davis, holding him tightly, biting my lip to keep the emotion that was running through me back.
“I’ll call you,” he whispered in my ear. “I promise.”
I know his words were supposed to bring some sort of relief to me, but I didn’t want his calls. I wanted him.
“OK,” I said hoarsely, pressing my lips against his neck.
“It’s going to be OK,” he reassured me, but those weren’t the words I wanted to hear. I wanted him to say he couldn’t live without me; that he loved me.
Forcing back my disappointment, I let my arms loosen around him.
He hadn’t said the words before we arrived at the airport, and I knew he wouldn’t say them now. I needed to remind myself that I would take what he would give me and cherish it. Well, I needed to walk away from him, and hold myself to that vow now.
He hadn’t professed to love me, just as I never professed to love him. This wasn’t a happily ever after. This was reality Steph.
Stepping back, I forced myself to say, “Thank you Davis; for everything.”
I turned away from him then, heading through security, fighting back the burn of tears I felt at the back of my eyes.
I could already tell yesterday that today would be hard. Davis had already started pulling back from me, as if distancing himself from me, his quietness speaking volumes.
Sure, the sex between us had been intense, probably more intense than ever, but neither of us spoke of the future. It was as if that was a taboo subject, so we both avoided that subject.
I guess I was hoping he would realize he loved me, and we would live together happily ever after, but whatever Davis felt about me, he definitely didn’t voice it to me.
Thankfully I heard them calling the beginning announcements for my flight, so I was able to stand in line with the other passengers, slowly making our way into the belly of the airplane.
Once I was seated in my assigned seat, I wouldn’t allow the tears to fall. Instead I remembered the wonderful time we had together, time I know I would treasure.
Honestly, I knew I had never felt happier. How could I ever regret time spent with a man that had made me the happiest I have ever been?
I looked out the window, watching the bustling workers loading luggage, and fueling up the airplane. I tried to hold up my heavy eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted.
Last night, Davis and I had slept little. It was like we didn’t want to waste the last of our time together sleeping. Instead, he spent hours leisurely exploring and caressing my body. There wasn’t a single area he hadn’t explored with his hands and lips.
I shivered, remembering when he carried me to the oversized tub in our hotel room. He had run hot water, and carried me in the water, demanding I sit in the tub with him.
He was concerned I would be sore, and that the hot water would help. But his plan backfired. The water had been silky against our skin, when our legs tangled, skin against skin, I couldn’t help climbing on top of him.
I had only meant to caress his chest, but when I felt his erection prodding against me, I was carried away by a tide of passion. Impaling myself on him, the freedom to control our love making made me heady. Facing him, watching the play of emo
tions across his face and knowing I was causing his pleasure. Well, I went wild, bucking against him until my legs became weak and shaky as my orgasm crashed over me hard.
His groans of pleasure against my neck and the feeling of his hands gripping my hips as he thrust up inside of me caused my body’s contractions to prolong, intensifying our pleasure.
It wasn’t until later when we were back in bed that he murmured in my hair, “Steph, we didn’t use a condom.”
I had been lying on my side, and he was behind me, his arm around my waist, pulling my body back against his as he spooned me.
I tensed for a moment, and then counted the days until my next period. I relaxed, stroking his hand.
“It’s the wrong time for me to conceive,” I assured him. “My cycle begins any day now, so we will be fine.”
He tightened his arm around my waist, mumbling softly, “I am clean. I got tested a month before we got together.”
I hadn’t even considered his active sex life and the repercussions that could result from unprotected sex.
I turned towards him gazing into his eyes. “You had yourself checked out a month before we got together?” I repeated stupidly, confusion on my face.
“Yeah,” he murmured.
My confusion showed clearly on my face.
“What?” he asked questioningly, his hand stroking over the curve of my waist.
“You didn’t have sex with anyone a month before we got together?” I asked. I found that extremely hard to believe. It was clear to me he was a very lusty man, the proof in the ache I was feeling between my legs.
“No,” he said huskily, leaning in to kiss my forehead his hand running up along the side of my body.
I was surprised. OK, not surprised, stunned was probably a better word.
“Why?” I asked him huskily.
“I couldn’t,” he said and then stopped. “I only wanted you.”
My heart began a hard pounding, and I looked at him in wonder, telling myself it meant nothing, but still unable to stop myself from pulling him closer, running my lips down his jawline until our lips met.
Davis Page 11