by Lee Barnett
I had watched Today Tonight as well, but away from the other girls. I smiled at Becky. ‘They did a wonderful job,’ I said. ‘They told the truth and I’m so proud of my beautiful daughter, especially with everything she’s had to juggle.’
Becky grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. ‘I would have done the same fucking thing as you!’
I looked back at her and hesitated. I had made the decision that my gift to the girls before I was extradited was to be honest with them and not to sugarcoat things. I took a breath. ‘No, you wouldn’t, Becky. You wouldn’t take the needle out of your arm long enough to help your child.’ And with that comment I continued my jogging.
This remains an issue that still really bothers me. During my time in prison I met so very many women who were mothers. One particular girl was twenty-one years old and had given birth to five children all with birth defects due to her drug use, and all, thank God, had been taken away from her at birth. Without question, my sympathies are with the poor children of these women and not for the women themselves. The women still had a choice and they had made it, while their children had been brought into this world and saddled with every disadvantage imaginable.
After my run I called Samantha to tell her what a great job she had done on the program. Next up was Bruce. There was a fair amount of chitchat at first as he was down in the dog park, but then he moved away to say that he’d been looking online, as I had asked him to, to find out more about the antibiotic that had supposedly caused the death of Harris’s dad. Bruce had found something interesting. ‘Taking the antibiotic clarithromycin with chlorpromazine can, apparently, cause heart failure.’
‘Okay, but what is chlorpromazine?’ I asked.
‘Ready? It’s an anti-psychotic drug and what is now known as Navane.’
Wow. I tried to process this for a minute before responding.
‘Okay, I’m going out on a limb here, Bruce, but what if Harris somehow was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, not from me but what he’d witnessed as an eight-year-old? Maybe he absorbed his mother’s struggles and his resentment towards her tangled into our lives, mimicking the life he had as a child. You know, his mother was supposed to have spent a year in Our Lady of Peace psychiatric hospital in Louisville when Harris was a child. If he was unable to punish her, could he have shifted the blame to me, and hardened his resolve to have me institutionalised?’ I paused, but only to take another breath. ‘And what if Harris knew his mother had given his father that deadly combination, or what if his father intentionally took it? And what if Harris wanted to punish me for disobeying him? Making me lose my baby would have been the ultimate pain he could inflict on me, and maybe in some warped way he also inflicted it on his mother.’
‘Whoah,’ said Bruce, laughing down the other end of the phone. ‘Lee, you’ve been watching too many scary movies or reading some crazy psychological thrillers. That wasn’t what happened. Todd didn’t want you to have Samantha, and when you refused to have an abortion he found a doctor he could persuade to supply you with a drug he was familiar with to make you lose your baby.’
‘So you don’t think there’s some deep-seeded mother–son thing going on? His mom in a mental institution and him trying to get me into one?’
‘It was a means to an end. Don’t overthink it, you don’t need all that psychobabble.’
Later that morning I had a call scheduled with Russell and naturally told him all that Bruce had told me about the drug combination. Once we had spoken about that for a bit, the sensible Russell turned the subject to more pragmatic matters, specifically to do with my extradition. He said that while he had no idea just when they would come and get me, it could happen any time from now. He had spoken to the federal prosecutor, Nathan Williams, and had told him we were happy to go to trial, a course of action that seemed to surprise him.
‘Why?’ I asked.
‘Well, most people settle with a plea hearing in federal court,’ Russell explained.
‘But I want to go to trial to tell the jury what happened. Surely they would understand that if I hadn’t got my baby away from Harris, he would have drugged her like he tried to do with me? And the fact that there was never anything wrong with me or Samantha, that Harris made it all up, should be proof enough, shouldn’t it?’
‘Don’t get too excited about a jury trial,’ said Russell. ‘They’re incredibly expensive, costing hundreds of thousands of dollars, and all it takes is one man going through a bad divorce or a woman married to someone who struggles to see his children and you’re toast.’
I chewed on that information as Russell continued.
‘So with the extradition you will have no warning and it will likely occur in the middle of the night. I will be notified as soon as they get you so I can see you when arrive here. US marshals will escort you from Australia to Charleston. You will have access to the phone during processing once you get to Sheriff Al Cannon Detention Center in Charleston. Call me straight away, but write my number on your body where it won’t be seen, or memorise it. By the way, your judge is Richard Gergel, a good man by all accounts, and you will get a fair trial, I’m sure of it. Once you arrive we’ll try and get you a bond, though the chances of that aren’t great – although,’ I heard him say with a smile, ‘we can put up over a million dollars for a bond, so possibly with house arrest we can pull it off.’
‘Wow, over a million,’ I said.
‘Yes, your friends and family came up with that. And remember, once you’re back in the US speak to no one, informants will be in the prison there with you and all of your phone calls will be recorded and listened to by the FBI. Say nothing that can hurt you.’
‘Okay,’ I whispered, ‘this is all becoming real.’
‘So,’ Russell said, ‘let’s just wind back a bit to Saylor’s report.’
I told Russell that I hadn’t seen that report until I was cross-examined, though I had thought Mendel had been sent it late on the Friday. And although he had interjected on my behalf I did tell Russell I had thought it was weird.
‘Weird in what way?’
‘Because the discovery rules were not followed.’ By this I meant that I hadn’t seen the document before the hearing when it was handed to me on the witness stand. ‘And weird because Mendel didn’t ask for a delay for us to go through it, and weird that he didn’t call Saylor in to testify why he was taped saying one thing and then gave a very different evaluation.’
I heard Russell’s pen scratching notes down on paper as he mumbled in agreement.
‘Yes, these are all valid points, but it will be your word against them.’
‘Well, that’s where you’re wrong,’ I said smugly. ‘On the phone just now, Bruce told me he has the original tapes from that meeting and from my home visit. Both confirm what I’ve just told you! Susan had saved them and Bruce says they are as clear as the day they were taped.’
‘Lee, you sure do have steadfast friends. This is all good to hear. Now, let’s turn again to Dr Oliver Bjorksten.’
There were two depositions from Bjorksten, with the first on 13 August 1993. The last time I had seen Bjorksten was around 23 March 1993 when I fired him and had threatened to take him to the Medical Ethics Board. ‘The first deposition was mild and even-handed. He even read the psych evaluation from another psychiatrist who said that both Harris and I experienced temper outbursts. But Graham must not have been getting what he wanted and abruptly terminated it around 2 p.m. The next deposition was 22 September 1993.’
‘Stop right there,’ said Russell. ‘Let me guess, that second time Bjorksten went on the attack?’
‘He sure did. Then on 17 February 1994, nearly a year since I had seen him professionally, he was on the witness stand. He claimed that my mother has this sickness and my grandmother had it too, though he had never met my grandmother and I think he only saw my mom twice. But interestingly, this time he used the term bipolar more frequently than hyperthymic.’
&nb
sp; In the transcript it showed that with a lot of leading of the witness, Graham had moved Bjorksten to where he wanted him: on page 235 Bjorksten stated that ‘all of this dwelling and destroying of things can lead to murder, marital homicide and even suicide’.
On page 387, Mendel had asked if Harris was truthful. Bjorksten replied yes, and also stated that his own note-taking never lied. Mendel then asked him, ‘When Harris told you he attended Yale for three and a half years but actually only attended for one, would that be considered dishonest?’ His response to that was, ‘I don’t know.’
The most troubling aspect of that day’s exchange, though, was at the bottom of page 423, when Judge Mallard had asked Bjorksten directly just what he should be considering in this matter.
Russell agreed.
‘Bjorksten was not the guardian ad litem; he was a hostile witness towards you.’
‘Yep, and Bjorksten’s response was a call “for the court to consider the significance of Lee’s disorder”.’
To Russell I reiterated that while I had not seen this man professionally in nearly a year, he had said my mental illness was escalating. Asked how he knew this, he said he had been reading my deposition and the affidavit that Ms Sommers had put with my deposition. But how did that man have the right to view these things?
Russell agreed that Bjorksten had no right.
Russell asked me whether Cliff, Tommy or my mother had testified on my behalf. None of them had. Mom was hiding down in Belize, Cliff was busy with his new vet practice and had two young babies at home, and I knew that if Tommy had taken the stand he would have been eaten alive because he was a hippy. But it all went back to my situation at the time – we all thought that a nursing mother, who was a doting mother, and her baby would never be separated.
We turned to the final day of the hearing and ran through many things that had been said that I had almost committed to memory. But there were also my final words on the witness stand. This was after Judge Mallard announcing that I had lost custody of my baby, and after Harris had tried to claim everything that I had. It was on the bottom of page 297:
Harris – people will believe him, because he is smarter than me. He can present himself better than me, but he’s not going to make a better parent. I’ve got – I’ve got the proof in the pudding, and Dr Saylor doesn’t say to take her away from me. If you want me on lithium, I’ll do it.
‘Wow,’ said Russell. ‘I can’t imagine how terrible that must have been for you, to finally be compelled to say that.’
‘It ripped out my heart,’ I said quietly. ‘I was a beaten woman. When I think back on those thirteen days in that courtroom, the only person in there not against me was the court reporter.’
We sat in silence for a moment then Russell changed the topic and asked how the children were doing. Of course he knew that Samantha was doing a magnificent job but I also told him how very proud I was of my beautiful son.
‘Reece is wonderful,’ I said, ‘and he visits me every Monday. In fact, it’s so funny watching the girls here in prison crushing on my boy, so much so that each time after he’s gone I have to set them straight. You know, Russell, good things come out of bad things. Our relationship had been strained, and it’s been hard for him not to have had a father around for the past five years. But since the arrest, our weekly visits have brought us closer. We have two hours to just sit there and talk. There are no distractions, no electronics, just us. Crazy as it sounds, I’ll miss us seeing each other this way on Mondays. But I’ll miss them both desperately when I’m finally moved.’ And then I shared what was perhaps my greatest fear at that stage, ‘I’m so scared that Australia won’t let me back.’
‘But why? You broke the law in the US not there.’
‘It was something Sammy said on the TV show. She was told I couldn’t come home to Australia. And the one good thing I’ve done is to have ended up here. It’s the best gift I could have given my children and I would never ask them to leave in spite of them having US citizenship. And as much as I want to meet you, Russell, I don’t want to leave this country. It’s home for the kids and me and I love it.’
Russell was sympathetic to all of this and gently suggested that maybe it was best not to speculate too far ahead as we should instead focus on what was imminent, which was my appearance in a Charleston court.
We returned to the transcripts.
‘It strikes me as a little odd, Lee,’ he said, ‘when Judge Mallard starts waxing lyrical about how wonderful breastfeeding is and then, almost in the same breath, announces that you were no longer allowed to breastfeed.’
I remembered that well and how cruel it was that Samantha was instantly force-weaned.
And I remembered, too, that once the visitations were later made official, Mendel called me on a Monday evening in February to tell me that I was to have Samantha only four nights a month. I had shouted at Mendel in disbelief, that it couldn’t be, just how was that possible, and what was he going to do about it? And then my own lawyer had said to me, ‘Don’t worry, Lee, you’re still young. You can have another one!’
Patty and I had stared at each other in horror on hearing him say this. What happened next, unsurprisingly, was me swearing at Mendel with unbridled enthusiasm. And that was the reason he fired me as his client.
I shared that with Russell on the the phone. He sighed. ‘Lee, have you ever heard of the expression “gaslighting”?’
I remembered an old black-and-white thriller by that name and said so.
‘Yes, that’s where the term got its name,’ said Russell. ‘What was done to you, Lee, was a fine example of gaslighting, almost textbook.’
‘In what way?’
‘Well, gaslighting is all about psychologically manipulating someone for personal gain. The perpetrators try and make their target doubt their own sanity. It’s meant to destabilise the victim and delegitimise the victim’s belief and memory, casting doubt on their credibility.’
‘Oh my God!’
‘Just think about it: Harris had to have a legitimate excuse for abandoning his pregnant wife, so he made you out to be crazy; Bjorksten had to cover for his unethical behaviour so he attacked you on the witness stand because he had his reputation to uphold, so you had to be crazy; and Jania needed you to be crazy and medicated to counter the objections you so rightfully put forward to have her removed from the case. But Lee, even though this was all done to you, you were strong enough not to allow it to destroy you. They lost; you won.’
22
Brisbane Women’s Correctional Centre
Queensland, Australia
September 2014
‘HEY, VICKY,’ I SHOUTED ACROSS THE BUS STOP, ‘ANY CHANCE FOR a haircut? And can we try some highlights this time?’
‘Sure, and do you want your eyebrows done too?’
‘Yes please, but the sooner the better. I don’t want to look like a beaten down jailbird when I make it back to the States.’
I called Sammy to see how she was doing, especially since she’d recently been having a strange heart problem.
‘Funny you should ask. I emailed Harris to say that I was having some heart problems and was going in for tests. I asked him for his family history, especially since heart issues seemed to run in his family. He emailed me back and said he’d send all that through “when he got around to it”.’
‘What!’ I shouted. ‘How dare he do that.’
‘But you know what was really weird?’ Sammy went on. ‘I forwarded Harris’s response to Bruce and Russell, using a few choice words about Harris’s false claims of unconditional love for me. Then, within a few hours of sending that email to Bruce and Russell I got this full-on email of the Todd family health history, laden with Harris’s concern.’
‘Sweetie,’ I responded, ‘your emails are definitely being hacked.’
‘I know, Mum, it sucks. I have no privacy to speak to you on the phone because everything is recorded, and I can’t even email someone without having it read
.’
I sighed in sympathy then asked what the tests had showed.
‘Nothing conclusive.’
The doctor’s plan for Samantha for now was that she would keep a careful eye on monitoring things for the time being.
Then I told Samantha how Kelly and I had a plan too. For the past few weeks, every morning once the doors were unlocked, Kelly would come to my unit to check I was still there. The plan was that if I had gone, she was to run to the phone and call her daughter, who would then call Sammy. I laughed, aware that thinking we had any kind of control in prison was a win. ‘Womanpower!’ I said to Sammy and we both giggled.
I continued my outdoor fitness regime as much as I was allowed, but had failed to relinquish my two cups of morning tea despite knowing that there would be be no tea in the US prisons. I also spent time staring out towards the hills beyond the perimeter wall where mobs of kangaroos bounced around, playing and fighting. I knew that view would soon be denied to me and that when it was, I would lose the home I truly loved. Why did I feel such a connection to this wonderful country? So many reasons, but the most important of all was that this place had given my children an incredibly safe and prosperous start to their adult lives.
So I kept readying to leave but the leaving was so slow in happening I felt like the little boy who cried wolf. One day on the phone with Bruce, his wife Judy jumped on and told me that Bruce was coming in when she and Keri next visited me. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. ‘Please, Judy,’ I said in a choking voice, ‘I don’t want to see Bruce.’
She asked why and I had to choose my words carefully.
‘So far I have gotten through this ordeal without really losing it, except maybe the day my house had to be sold,’ remembering my heartbreak when I had to make the decision to sell our home. Samantha and the A Team felt it was necessary because of all the unknown factors. It sold quickly and for far less then it was worth. That day I had shed so many tears and I didn’t want a repeat if I were to see Bruce in person. ‘What do you say to someone who has given up his life to help you?’ I whispered.