by KT Strange
“It just hurts my legs,” she said. She sighed and then put a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll suck it up. Sorry I’m being a baby.” I helped her up onto my back again.
“I think you’ve earned the right to whine,” I said as I shifted her weight until she was balanced properly. “I’m gonna go faster now, okay, so hang on.”
“Joy,” she said, her voice tight. I kicked off at a slow run, my legs protesting as the ground rose in front of us. Darcy’s fingers bit into my shoulders as she hung on, her breathing pained and shallow against my neck as she grit her teeth and bore it. We needed to get to the road, and I’d make her feel better later, once she was dry and safe.
Once the pack was back together. If we’d ever see them again. Negative thoughts hovered over my mind, dogging my thoughts as I pushed hard, legs pumping over the muddy road. Rain stung my eyes at it dripped down off my brow, before it trailed down my cheeks to drip onto the ground. Darcy gave a bone-deep shiver. She had to be freezing, despite the heat I was throwing off.
She shivered again and her fingers loosened on me. She clung to me tight for a moment, but I could tell her energy was flagging. She had to be hungry and weak because of it. The urge to den down somewhere, and protect her, was growing too strong to ignore.
I saw a flag up ahead, a bright pink safety ribbon tied to the trunk of a tree. I knew exactly what that meant, and I cursed myself for not looking the night before. Maybe we would have been more comfortable if I’d had. Maybe she would have been safer.
“Darcy,” I said, jogging up to the pink ribbon. There was a path beyond it, meant for ATVs, and past the foliage, a small cabin.
“What’s that?” Darcy leaned over my shoulder, peering into the darkness. Another hard gust of wind tossed the boughs of the pines and she grunted. “Fuck that’s cold.” She burrowed against my back and shuddered.
“We’re holing up for the night,” I said, setting off down the path. Darcy went tense, and quiet until we reached the front door. The cabin was small, no more than a ten by ten shack, but it was better than the log shelter where we’d slept before. There was a proper door, and a real glass window. There was also what looked like a chimney stack, but I wasn’t going to risk lighting a fire. I wasn’t inviting that kind of bad luck back down on us again.
I opened the door and Darcy slipped from my back. The smell of musty air hit us both, just as lightning crackled overhead.
“I guess one more day won’t kill us,” she said with reluctance, hobbling into the small cabin. Dim light filtered through the dirty window, enough to illuminate the bed in the corner, a chair, and a small kitchenette. There was a closet, and another door with a window in it.
“Pit toilet out back, probably,” I said. Darcy made a face and then wobbled over to the bed where she sat with a grumble. She started pulling off off her wet clothes. I opened up the closet and found a long-sleeved, plaid shirt, some batteries, candles, and an LED lantern. There were a few tins of food, and other non-perishable, emergency food supplies. Extra blankets, too. It would be enough to keep us for the night.
The lantern seemed like the safest bet. I turned it on and set it on the kitchen counter. I passed Darcy the dry shirt wordlessly.
“I guess no fire,” she said, her voice dry as she looked at the small, wood burning stove in the corner of the room. “There’s no wood cut.”
Probably a bad idea anyway. I pulled off my wet shirt and pushed my jeans down around my ankles. I picked up our clothes and hung them along a line that was strung over the stove, clearly meant for drying laundry. “You up for cold beans?” I pulled a tin out of the cupboard. Darcy sighed and pulled the borrowed shirt over her head, covering up her goose-bumped skin. I eyed her for a minute before grabbing a blanket out of the cupboard. “Here,” I said, draping it over her legs. She pulled it up to her chest and sighed with relief.
“That’s better. You said something about cold beans?” Finally a smile spread across her face and I felt relieved as I opened up the tin and grabbed two spoons. I sat on the edge of the bed. The taste wasn’t bad, the texture slightly gritty on the back of my tongue. It wasn’t comparable to a steak dinner, but it would do.
At least I had her. She scraped her spoon at the bottom of the tin.
“My mouth tastes like ass,” she said. “I guess it doesn’t matter much, given what we’re going through. Tomorrow we can make it up to the road and then back to the compound. The guys are probably freaked right out.”
If they’re still alive.
She froze.
I’d spoken out loud. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at me, spoon clattering in the tin.
“Of course they’re alive,” she said, her voice edging on shrill.
“Darcy,” I swallowed hard. “They haven’t come looking for us.”
“Because of the fire,” she said, although she knew her argument was weak and I could see it in her eyes. She stared at me, panic creeping into her expression. “Charlie, please —”
“We’ll look,” I promised her, “but I’m not holding out a lot of hope.” I swallowed hard. It wasn’t that I hadn’t sent up my share of pleading thoughts to the higher powers that my pack-mates were still alive, but as the day wore on with no sign of them, not a scent or a howl carrying on the breeze… And if they were alright, why hadn’t Wolfe come looking for us? It didn’t add up.
Darcy pulled away from me and hunkered down on one side of the bed, facing the wall.
“I’m tired,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Thunder cracked overhead, and a shot of lightning lit up the room as it flashed bright through the windows.
“Go to sleep,” I said, my heart heavy. I dropped the empty tin into the rubber bin on the counter next to the sink. Darcy made a low noise, and I lifted my head to look at her. Her shoulders were shaking, swathed in blankets. A small, choked sob escaped her.
I just stood there.
What could I say, anyway? I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry, too.
Four
Darcy
Warmth curved along my back. For a moment I didn’t know where I was, tricked by the familiar weight of one of the guys behind me, his arm tossed across my hips.
I sat up with an gasp of oxygen and a rush of panic.
“Fu-what?!” Charlie jerked up beside me, rolling onto his knees. He stared at me, his eyes wild, his hair sticking up in every direction. He looked like hell. He let out a sigh and pulled me into his arms. “Hey,” his voice was low. I let myself go, resting against him. My whole body ached, the sort of tired feeling from not sleeping right and too many bad dreams that I couldn’t remember.
“Morning.” I pressed my face into his shoulder and inhaled his scent. What was it going to take to convince him to continue our journey? Pulling away, I stretched out my legs, moving my ankle slowly. It hurt still, but I tried not to let the pain twist my face into a grimace.
“How’s it doing?” Charlie asked, watching me closely.
“Better,” I said, which wasn’t a total lie. Maybe I could command him to take us back to the compound? I cocked my head to the side. It didn’t sound like it was storming anymore.
“Better enough that you can walk on it?” he asked cautiously, like he didn’t believe me but didn’t want to call me on my bullshit outright. “You’ve only got one shoe.”
“We need to get going,” I said, swallowing hard around a knot of emotions that kept threatening to choke me up. “We need to find the pack.” Did he not have the same sense of urgency that I did? If the roles had been reversed, and I was the one capable of hiking all day with another person on my back, I would have had us to the compound by then. But there we were, languishing around some logging shelter, as if we had better things to do than find out if the loves of my life were alive.
My heart squeezed painfully.
Charlie sighed and got to his feet, running a hand through his hair.
“I guess —” He licked his lips and continued, “I don’t want to take y
ou up there if they’re not…” his voice got tight, and the ache echoed in his expression.
“If they’re dead,” I said, my words falling flat to the floor between us and spreading out like a shadowy gulf. I shook my head. “How could you even think that?”
“I’m not fighting you on this,” he said. “Are you alright here if I go without you?”
“No,” I said instantly, even though I knew I was holding him back. Slipping my feet over the edge of the bed, I took a breath and then pushed up to stand. A wince crossed my face as my ankle sounded the alarm, reminding me how very much not okay it was feeling right then.
Charlie took one look at me and his mouth pressed into a thin line.
“You’re not going any —”
“You can carry me,” I cut him off. What was eating him from the inside out? “Would you just stop, please, or I’m going to go on my own, and I don’t care if it takes me ten hours to reach the highway or if I have to walk barefoot the whole way there,” I threatened, determination rising up inside me. His eyes flickered with something I couldn’t place, some emotion that seemed like anger, but that didn’t make any sense.
His jaw tensed and he looked away, the profile of his face showing off how his brows pulled together in frustration.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I demanded. He glanced upward for a moment before staring me down.
“It’s not just that I don’t want you to see what might be left of them,” he said. “If the fire’s still raging, then it’s no place for you.”
“I —”
“Haven’t you noticed something weird is going on with you and fire?” He stressed the last word so hard that it grated out from between his teeth. His tone put me on the defensive immediately and I glared back.
“You think I did this?” What else could he possibly mean by that?
He growled.
“I don’t know, but whenever you get near anything remotely combustible, it seems to go sideways for us.”
My heart sank into my belly.
“I didn’t do this!” My hand flew out, toward the direction we’d come from the lake. “The fire down there? It wasn’t me, I don’t have fire magic, I can barely control my storm magic as it is.”
“What if you’re not doing it consciously?” His words were arrows, finding my heart. “Electricity, fire, they’re both forms of energy, and not too far apart.”
“Oh what the fuck do you know about magic, more than half the shit you guys think about witches paints us as monsters.”
“Because you are,” he roared, taking a step toward me, his shoulders tense, the lines in his face contorted.
Breathing was suddenly hard. My good knee gave out, and I sat on the edge of the bed. Charlie’s fingers unclenched.
“Shit, Darcy, I didn’t—”
“Yeah you did,” I whispered, looking down at the tops of my knees. Well, he wasn’t wrong. Witches were monsters. I was a monster. Maybe I had brought the fires, somehow, without realizing it. Hot tears dripped down my cheeks, landing softly on my legs. “I’m tired.”
Charlie dropped down to the ground in front of me.
“I don’t know what’s happening,” he admitted, his voice raw and broken. “I don’t know if my pack is alive, or…”
“They’re my pack too,” I cleared my throat, swallowing back a sob that was threatening to undo the lockdown I’d put on my emotions.
“I just keep thinking of all the fires. Max, the cabin, the shelter, all of it.” He took my hands in his, his skin warm on my cold, clammy fingers. “The only variable I could figure out that might be affecting it was you. And if it’s true, if there’s something going on with you that’s causing fires to rage out of control around you, then maybe it’s not the greatest idea to bring you back to a place that might still be on fire. If we have any chance of finding them safe…”
I yanked my hands out of his and pushed him away, getting to my feet. My ankle screamed at me, and I ignored it.
“You’re full of shit.” I hobbled toward the door, unsteady and biting back pained noises with each step.
“I’m out of my damn depth. Please, Darcy, I just don’t want to make this worse or risk losing you, too, because what if I can’t save you this time? What if I can’t outrun a fire that you’re starting?”
I turned my head to look at him. His face was drawn, my own grief reflected in his expression.
“Well I didn’t light this place on fire,” I snapped. He sighed.
“I’m not sure that you can just spontaneously start them, but maybe, something about you is uh, giving the fire encouragement,” he offered.
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Never in the history of ever has a witch just encouraged fire to spread by her simply existing.” I crossed my arms over my chest and willed my ankle to stop hurting. Most of my weight was on my good leg, and I wouldn’t make it ten feet out the door if I wasn’t able to manage the pain.
“Not to point out that you weren’t exactly the best pupil in the world, but you’ve told me several times yourself that you barely paid attention when you were being taught how to use your powers, or any of the theory that went along with it,” Charlie’s words were as cautious as his expression.
Well, he wasn’t fucking wrong.
I sighed.
“Okay, so, let’s say, for funsies or whatever, that my existence is causing burning things to burn more. We still need to find out if they’re okay.”
“I need to find out,” he said. “You need to stay here, where I know you’re safe, and let me go to the edge of the compound and see if the fires are out. Alright?”
I hated that idea, but I sensed if I pushed him too much he’d just shut down on me entirely and I’d be facing an hours-long walk up logging road with a sprained ankle. It was progress, at any rate.
“How long will you be gone?” I asked.
“An hour. Two tops,” he promised. “It’s a dead run there and back.”
Without me weighing you down. I hobbled back over to the bed and curled up on it.
“I don’t like it, but yeah, it’s our only option, really.”
“You think I like leaving you here?” he asked. “Every instinct I have is screaming at me to stay with you, protect you, make sure you’re safe.” He let out an uneasy chuckle. How much were his wolf instincts fighting him anyway? He smiled when he saw me looking at him. “Eli’d kill me if I let anything happen to you.”
“I can take care of myself,” I promised.
“Just no fire,” he said and then bent down to me. His arms came around my shoulders and he kissed me, his mouth hard on mine. My eyes fluttered shut but even his kisses couldn’t melt away the ball of dread that was sitting in the back of my throat, making it hard to swallow.
“I’ll be back,” he swore and then went to the door, gazing at me one last time. He didn’t want to go. It was against everything he knew to be right, to leave me. He slipped out the door, pulling it shut behind him. I listened for a moment; his footsteps were light to the ground outside, but then I heard him pick up speed and they faded into the distance.
Silence crept up on me until it pressed in on all sides. I took a shaking breath, just to make a sound and break the muffled lack of noise.
“Well,” I murmured, “here I am.” I looked around the small cabin. My stomach growled, reminding me of baser needs that required attending to. Slowly, feebly, I got to my feet and opened up another can of beans, spooning out the cold, congealing mess and choking it down around the lump in my throat.
I had no way of knowing what time it was. I lay flat on my back, staring up at the cob-webbed wood ceiling. A beam of sunlight streamed in through the window, and I stared at it.
Slowly, slowly, it crawled across the floor. It was warm in the cabin, and I eased off my jeans to be more comfortable. After a moment I closed my eyes.
The door opened and I sat up. The sun was fading, all light almost gone. Charlie hovered in the doorw
ay, his hair soaked with sweat, dirt streaked across one cheek. His shirt had a damp patch across the chest.
I knew from his expression that something was wrong. He didn’t have to tell me.
My fingers shook and pressed to my lips to stop myself from making a whimpering noise.
“Cabin’s burned to the ground,” his voice was hoarse from breathing hard, or the run, or the wind, or the smoke. “It’s still hazy. There’s no one there but… Darcy I think they survived.”
Hope blossomed in my chest and I sat up straighter.
“What—”
“I tracked their scent to the edge of the property,” he said. “It was fresh, recent. Maybe early this morning. But they’re gone.”
My brow furrowed. My stomach was hollow.
“I don’t understand.”
“It doesn’t make sense, but tomorrow I’m going to hike up to the highway and get a ride into town. I’m not leaving you here. I’ll carry you if I have to.” He looked determined.
“I… okay.” I felt so small, the world looming outside our cabin. There were too many unanswered questions, and right then all I wanted was Finn’s arms around me, comforting me.
Tears, more stupid tears, slipped down my cheeks.
“Darcy,” Charlie said, immediately coming to me and wrapping his arms around me.
“They’re really okay?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Really?”
“I can’t see how they wouldn’t be.”
“Maybe they went to get help? Or they’re looking for us?”
“We’ll find out,” he assured me. “Wherever they are, we’ll find them. Wolfe’s with them, and I know he won’t let any harm come to them.”
“That crazy British bastard,” I said and then dissolved into more tears. I couldn’t stop the emotions pouring out of me The ups and downs were too intense for me to handle anymore. Charlie held me tight, whispering soothing nonsense in my ear until I calmed down.