“I worry about you, Chloe, and wanted to make sure this guy living under your roof was cool,” Mitch replies. “I’m not from Maine and definitely not in the loop of who is a psycho and who isn’t in that tiny claustrophobic little town you’re living in. So I felt compelled to dig a little. Anyway, this is him right?”
He turns his phone to me, and I see a picture of Logan in his paramedic uniform. The website is the Ocean Pines Fire Department. He looks so damn handsome. Stoic, kind of brooding, but breathtakingly hot. Mitch groans. “I can tell by the moony look on your face that is him. Fuck a duck.”
“Why fuck a duck” I blurt back.
He focuses on me, and his brown eyes soften. It’s a look I became far too familiar with after Jackson died—pity—but I have no idea why he’s directing it at me right now. “He told you he was working tonight?”
I nod.
“Well, he’s here. By the pool tables. And the blonde he’s with doesn’t seem to be in need of life-saving services.”
He turns in his seat and points toward the corner of the L-shaped Irish themed bar where the pool tables and dart boards are located.
“You must be mistaken,” I say instantly and without even thinking about it. What Mitch is saying is too absurd to be true. It can’t be true.
“I stood there for a full two minutes watching him. He was at a tiny table with this blonde and she was almost sitting in his lap. She kept touching his face, and he whispered in her ear,” Mitch’s details are making me sick. “I was trying to convince myself it wasn’t him, but then a dude, the hot one I went to check out, yelled ‘Hawkins. Table is yours.’ And he got up to claim the vacant pool table.”
“What?” I heard every word, but yet my brain refuses to understand.
Mitch stands up and grabs his phone off the table. “Let’s settle this like adults. By stalking.”
He storms off in the direction of the pool tables, dragging me with him.
My heart plummets through the overly varnished wood floor of the bar when the pool tables come into view, and it is in fact Logan Hawkins standing there, leaning over a beautiful blonde as she lines up a shot. His hand laying casually on the back pocket of her jeans as he gives her advice.
“What are you going to do?” Mitch asks. “Should we just go? If it were me I would grab that fresh daiquiri we just ordered and toss it in his face.”
“I am not throwing a drink on him,” I say because it seems too forceful, and I feel weak right now. So damn weak I could cry. “I think I should just go. You guys stay. I don’t want to ruin your night.”
“He ruined our night because we care about you,” Mitch says and crosses his arms. “You should confront him, even if you don’t throw a drink in his face. Let him know you saw him. I’m texting Aspy and telling her to settle the bill so we can bolt as soon as you’re done tearing him a well-deserved new asshole.”
I stand there staring at Logan, frozen. I want to be anywhere else right now but yet I’m unable to look away or walk away.
“I’ll confront him if you want,” Mitch suggests when he’s done texting Aspen. “I have zero issues throwing a drink in his face on your behalf.”
“No. He doesn’t deserve that,” I blurted out. I know they think I’m going to run and hide like a wounded animal, but I’m so not. “And if he does deserve it, I’ll be the one to do it.”
I start walking toward him. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve always been timid. The one who avoids confrontation at all costs. The person who does whatever it takes to keep waters calm and here I am marching toward the problem. Who am I right now? Not Chloe Hale.
I stop about a foot and a half behind the blonde’s back. He glances at me, reaches for his empty beer bottle on the edge of the pool table and holds it out toward me. “Another one, please. And another chardonnay for her too, please.”
Is he fucking serious?
When I don’t take the bottle in his hand, he shifts slightly and looks me right in the eye. There is not even the slightest flicker of recognition. “What the hell is even happening right now?”
“I’m sorry, what?” He blinks. The blonde turns around too. She’s super pretty. I wish I’d worn more than leggings and an oversized cardigan to come out tonight.
“Did you fall and hit your head or something?” I ask, outraged. “I can’t…I won’t believe you’re so much of an asshole you’d just pretend you don’t know me. Not after the last couple of nights.”
I stare and he just stands there blinking, so I say, “Go fuck yourself Logan.”
I swivel on my heel and manage to get two steps when he speaks. “Wait! I’m not Logan. I’m his twin brother.”
I stop walking and turn back around. “What?”
I hear a snort from over my shoulder and realize Mitch has inched close enough to hear him. “You’re not the first guy to use the ‘I’m a twin bullshit’ before,” Mitch says with an eye roll.
“He’s not?” I whisper.
“It’s not me, I have a twin. I didn’t recognize you, I have short-term memory loss. I’m sorry I hit my head this morning and forgot we were dating,” Mitch says. “We’re not falling for it.”
“We?” Logan starts to smile and it’s that same sexy smirk I saw this morning after he made me come with his mouth in my kitchen. My heart wants to ache, but it’s just as confused as the rest of me at this point. “Is Logan dating you? Is this why he hasn’t been such a moody bitch lately? God, he tells me nothing anymore. Hold on.”
He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and starts punching stuff on the screen when the blonde speaks. “He really is a twin. Identical. I know because I threw a drink on Logan thinking it was Finn.”
“Finn…” I repeat the name but something else she said triggers something from my memory. “Was the drink gin?”
She smiles. “Gin and tonic. How’d you know?”
“Oh my God…Finn or Logan? Which one are you?” I hear Aspen’s voice and turn to see her standing behind Mitch now. “Because if you’re Logan, I will punch you.”
“Hey Aspy,” the guy holding his phone, who may or may not be Logan, says and then I hear someone say hello, and Finn’s eyes dart back to the screen of his phone. “Hey Logan. Do you know this pretty little thing right here?”
Finn turns his phone around and there, on the screen, is Logan. He looks at me through video chat and is as startled as I am. “Chloe? What’s going on?”
Mitch actually gasps. “Holy shit there is two of them.”
“Chloe, you didn’t know that? No one mentioned Finn and Logan are identical twins? Not Terra or Logan or anyone?” Aspen looks as baffled as I feel. “I can’t believe I didn’t mention it. Must be the baby brain.”
“Is there a third, that swings both ways?” Mitch asks with a grin as his eyes slide up and down Finn’s well-muscled body. Finn grins at him. “Sorry. Only two. I have an older brother, but he’s married and a total stick in the mud.”
“Damn,” Mitch says ruefully.
“Seriously, Chloe. What’s going on?” Logan prompts again.
“I was out with Aspen and Mitch, and I thought I saw you,” I mumble, now more than a little embarrassed. “Here with another woman.”
“You thought Finn was me,” Logan says and suddenly he grins wildly. “Did you throw a drink on him?”
“No.”
“Can you?” he says and Finn rolls his eyes. “It’s not too late.”
“Why don’t you tell me about what you two have been doing the last couple of nights instead,” Finn interjects. “Because it looks like Ma can stop lighting candles for her poor spinster son at mass now.”
“I guess I should have mentioned one of my brothers was my identical twin,” Logan says sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I forget we share a face sometimes.”
“See? Now you can stop getting mad at me when I forget to tell people,” Finn interjects.
“Oh God, I’m embarrassed. I’m sorry Finn had to bother you at work,” I say.
“D
on’t worry about it. I’ll call you later,” Logan promises with a smile. “And I’ll apologize then for whatever my brother is going to say to you after he hangs up on me.”
“Oh, I’m not going to say anything, but I do hope she talks,” Finn says to his brother. “I need to know all about how you two know each other.”
“It’s not too late to throw a drink in his face, Chloe,” Logan says a second before Finn ends the video call.
“Sorry. Truly. I’m completely embarrassed,” I tell Finn as he slips his phone back in his pocket. “I don’t think there’s a more awkward way to meet someone’s family.”
“Probably not,” Finn agrees, still grinning. Now that I really look at him, I can see he’s not Logan. His smile is too casual. His eyes don’t hold the same intensity Logan’s usually do. “But no drinks lost their lives, so we’re good. And I’m very happy to meet you. But how did you meet Logan, is what I’m dying to know.”
“She’s his landlord,” Mitch tells him. I shoot him a ‘thanks for nothing’ look.
“You’re the landlord?” Finn doesn’t even try to hide the shock on his features. “Shit. No wonder he’s been spending so much time at home lately.”
“I have to be going.” I glance past Finn to the blonde. “I’m sorry to interrupt your date.”
I smile sheepishly and awkwardly wave good-bye. I can feel Finn grinning at my back the whole walk to the front door. Outside, Aspen looks downright giddy as she squeezes my shoulder. “Did Logan really never mention Finn? Like at all? The Hawkins always talk about the Hawkins. They’re so close-knit, they’re almost like a Hydra, one entity with a bunch of heads.”
“Clearly they were too busy doing other things with their mouths besides talking,” Mitch pipes in and he’s gleeful, but it makes me more embarrassed. “Aspy this is a good thing. Our little Chloe is finally wild and free.”
“I should know if he’s got an identical twin before I know what he looks like naked,” I mutter.
“Honey I’ve slept with people without even knowing their last names,” Mitch replies, waving off my concern.
“I’m carrying the baby of a guy who’s middle name I don’t know so it could be worse,” Aspen tells me. “It’s casual. You’ll ease into it—all the details of his life—when things get more concrete. Don’t worry about it, Chloe.”
We part ways with Mitch and on the way home, Aspen sings along with the radio while I zone out and let the anxiety I’ve been ignoring start to creep into my brain. This moment of mistaken identity made it impossible to ignore. Seeing what I thought was Logan with another woman was so upsetting because I’m falling head over heels at a hundred miles an hour for him. And the fact is we haven’t discussed what is happening between us and I might be the only one doing the falling. I mean I think he is too but…do I really know? Are we moving too fast? Are we on the same page? Is this casual for him? I don’t do casual, but I never said that to him. And I’ve been sort of quasi-lying to him about Jackson. Do I tell him the truth now? Did I make my widowhood a bigger bomb than it already was by skirting the issue? What if he thinks it’s too much to handle, especially with Paul pestering me again?
“Hello!” Aspen glances over at me. “Earth to Chloe!”
“Sorry. I was just thinking…”
“About how God made two guys that hot?” Aspen asks and laughs at her own comment. “The Hawkins twins have never been my thing, but I can’t help but admit they’re smokin’.”
“Actually I was thinking I want to invite Logan to come upstairs after his shift,” I announce as Aspen pulls to a stop in my driveway.
“I’d do it!” Aspen replies firmly.
I laugh at her. “I’m not talking for sex…although, I’m not going to stop that from happening if the conversation goes well.”
“Conversation? About what?”
“We haven’t said that we’re exclusive.” I say quietly.
“Oh. Okay,” Aspen seems to think about it and then flips her hair over her shoulder. “I never have the official talk, but then again, my relationships have consistently imploded. So I say have the talk.”
“I will.” I nod. “See you tomorrow. Drive safe.”
I watch her drive away, and after letting the dogs out to pee, I spend the next twenty minutes trying to draft a text that invites him up when he gets home and have it sound witty, sexy, and casual and not needy or awkward. But before I can hit send on the hundredth draft, Logan texts me.
On my way home. Are you still up?
A grin explodes across my face. It seems so simple when he does it. I think briefly about how to respond. Casual? Aloof? Friendly? I bite my bottom lip as I type, trying to keep this grin in check.
Awake. Was just thinking of you.
I hit send and stare at my phone watching the bubbles as he starts to text back.
Me or my brother? ;)
I laugh softly at his joke and type back.
Same difference.
I hope my cheeky humor translates.
He doesn’t respond for what feels like a very long time and I start to panic that he doesn’t get it. And then, after almost ten minutes, I see he’s read it. A few more minutes and my phone lights up again.
Oh there’s a difference. I can show you…if you’re still up when I get home.
I drop down onto the couch as if the sexual innuendo pouring out of that text had actually knocked me over. I look at Boss and Stevie. “I really hope you two are sleeping on the floor again tonight.”
Ten more minutes and I see the headlights in my driveway. My heart starts to gallop, and I stand and walk to the door. I hold my breath as I crack it open just enough to look outside. He’s already climbed the first step. Our eyes meet, and his smile matches mine.
He climbs the steps quickly, and by the time I have the door open wide enough for him to step through it, he’s on the porch. As he crosses the threshold, his smile softens. “Hey,” he says in a whisper.
“I can’t believe you forgot to mention you have an identical twin,” I say. “And I almost punched him because I had no idea there are two of you.”
“We get confused a lot. Don’t beat yourself up over it,” he pulls off his gloves as his hazel eyes wander across my face, and he frowns. “You took your stitches out?”
“Yeah…I…” I pause and get embarrassed. “The hospital said they should be removed in a week or so, and so I pulled them out.”
Logan frowns. “If you’d gone to the doctor, they’d probably have left them in another couple days because it’s not quite a hundred percent healed.”
“So, I’d have spent sixty bucks on a co-pay to find out they weren’t ready to come out?” I say and frown. I lift my fingers to the wound, but he gently moves them away.
“You could have asked me to check it out,” he says. “Luckily, I have some butterfly bandages downstairs that’ll make sure the cut doesn’t reopen and finishes healing.”
“I have some of those in the first aid box in my bathroom.” I point to the bathroom off the front hall. He nods.
“Sit down on the couch. I’ll grab them.”
A few seconds later as I’m sitting down, he walks over with my first aid kit and pulls out one of the bandages. He examines my forehead seriously and then gently applies the bandage. When he pulls back, he gives me a smirk. “Replace that one with a new one for the next few days….until I tell you it’s okay to go without.”
I nod. He leans in and kisses me, slow and sweet. “Thank you,” I say when he pulls back. “You can take off your jacket and stay a while, you know. If you want.”
“I want,” Logan say and kisses me again before he starts taking off his coat. He leans back in after he drapes it over the arm of the couch.
“I was hoping we could talk a minute,” I squeak. His smile instantly fades from his lips.
“Okay…”
“It’s not bad. I mean, I don’t think what I’m going to say is bad it’s just…” I struggle to figure out how to say th
is as cool and casual as possible. “Seeing your brother tonight with another woman and thinking it was you with another woman made me realize that I really don’t want to see you with another woman. And then I realized we haven’t defined this. Us.”
“I’ve never had this conversation before,” he says quietly and he looks bothered by that fact. He runs a hand through his hair and stares at Boss, who has decided to curl up at his feet. “I always just fell in and out of relationships. Drunkenly fell in and out. Not a lot of deep conversation went on.”
“Well, what about River’s mom? You had a deeper relationship with her, right?” I say it as a way to console him, figuring that despite the fact it didn’t work out, he must have had something deep and meaningful with her. They created a human being together after all. But when he stiffens and pulls away from me on the couch, I realize what a naïve idiot I am.
“Bethany was cute, and she liked to party,” he says, his voice heavy. “That’s about all I used to need in a partner. River was, like everything I did back in my drinking days, an accident. It’s not that I didn’t want him though. I just…didn’t plan him. I wasn’t great to Bethany. I tried to step up by proposing to her, but honestly, I never really made conscious, rational decisions in that relationship or any other because I was more concerned with getting drunk and avoiding my feelings and problems than facing them.”
I sit quietly and absorb his words as he stands up and starts to walk back and forth. He paints an ugly picture of himself. It’s hard to reconcile with the man standing in front of me now. “I promised myself I wouldn’t jump into anything with someone new until I was sure I could do it better.”
“So…are you sure? That you can do better?”
“Honestly, no,” he says, and it feels like my heart instantly turns to stone. It’s so heavy I’m surprised it hasn’t fallen from my chest. Be an adult about this Chloe, I lecture myself silently. Casual sex happens, and when you jumped into bed with him, you knew full well in your head that this might happen and you did it anyway. So buck up, girlfriend. I take a deep breath and nod. He blinks as he looks at me, and I realize my face must not be listening to my pep talk.
The Winter We Collided: A Small Town Single Dad Romance (Ocean Pines Series Book 2) Page 18