by C L Walker
Micah: I guess you can’t have me since you can’t even say it.
“Are you fucking serious?” I growled.
“Excuse me, Skylar?” Mr. Burks inquired.
“Sorry.” I sunk low in my seat and slid my phone into my pocket. “That wasn’t, uhm, directed at you of course.”
“Of course not. Let’s not let it happen again.”
It was funny because I had gone my entire life without getting in trouble with any other adult aside from my mother. But then Micah showed up and suddenly I was pissing off my teachers right and left.
When Mr. Burks turned around again, I mouthed ‘fuck you’ to Micah and he blew me a kiss.
When class was over, he waited for me in the hallway so we could walk together.
“So?” he asked.
“So what?” I asked rudely, as I was still upset at my outburst that I of course blamed on him.
“What do you want, Sky?”
I put my hands on my hips as I came to a stop in the middle of the hallway. “You. I want you and I want you to be mine alone. You happy now?”
“Very.” He smiled.
“So, what is this exactly? What are we?”
He pondered my words before he said, “We are whatever you want to call us.”
“Don’t even go there.” I wanted him to say we were a couple rather than two people who were messing around with each other exclusively.
He sent me a charming smile. “I’m letting you call the shots. My only request is that you don’t talk to Devin or any other guy that wants to screw you and I have made that clear already, so the rest is on you.”
“I can’t talk to them?” He shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous that’s controlling! If I were to demand the same of you, you could only talk to a small handful of girls here because for some insane reason every girl here seems to want your dick.”
He laughed as he followed behind me, as I had begun walking again after I threw my hands up in the air.
“I appreciate that you can say things like that and mean them even when you yourself have also fallen prey to my charm.”
“I have not, that is not what happened here.” I frowned, of course that was exactly what had happened.
He caught up and stopped me again. “But you want my dick too.”
“Hey! Don’t say something like that so loudly!” I pulled him to the side of the hallway and rather than give me some space he wrapped an arm around my waist and held me to him.
“But don’t you, babe?” he asked.
I rose on my tip toes and gave him a kiss before I said, “Unfortunately.”
“Wow!” he shouted for the whole world to hear as I pulled away. “She finally admits it with words!”
I smiled to myself as I went to my class.
This could be good.
I can do this.
I can let someone in.
Twenty-six
Skylar
This is it!
It was the last day and it was all I could think about.
I had kept that in mind when my mother had knocked me down the night before and kicked me in my stomach because she had seen me get in the car with Micah several days in a row. I hadn’t thought she paid that much attention and I found it irritating that the only time she did was when a boy was involved.
But I didn’t care.
Let her watch!
It didn’t faze me in the slightest that I was doing the same thing again when I knew she didn’t like it.
I saw Micah’s car sitting on the side of the road for me before I turned to look back at her trailer.
She had been up, and she had given me a warning about my slutty behavior again before she had grabbed a handful of my hair and used it to propel me towards the door before I had left.
I had hit the wall, but I barely felt it.
I felt numb.
She hadn’t changed, she hadn’t become the mother I had wanted and now it was over.
I couldn’t feel for her any longer.
I had something else to feel for, myself.
She raised the blinds in the living room and met my stare, a silent warning that looked to me like more of a desperate plea.
I’m going to leave you too, Mommy. Just like they did.
I turned around and ran to Micah’s car. “Hey,” I said once I was inside, and I was met with a huge smile.
“Your birthday is tomorrow.” He glanced over at me. “So, what’s the plan?”
“I’m going to the Applewood apartments behind the school today to see if they have a studio available.”
“You haven’t done that yet?”
“Nope.”
“Sky–” I heard what he wasn’t saying, I should have done it sooner.
“What?” I asked. “I didn’t want to go sooner in case something happened to my money and I couldn’t leave. Besides, I am still a minor, what could they have done for me?”
He gave me an annoying look and I braced myself for the earful that was sure to come.
“You could have asked them to save an apartment for you, they might have done it if you paid the deposit ahead of time and proved that you were serious. Then money wouldn’t have been an issue because it would be tied up in the apartment.”
We pulled into the parking lot and I waved at Jesse as he walked by with Ashley.
“I wasn’t thinking,” I admitted. “I’ve had too much on my mind and you’re partly to blame for that.”
“As long as you realize you might not get a place right away,” he said, and offered nothing in response to the blame I put on him.
“I do.”
Once we got out of the car, he grabbed my hand and threaded his fingers through mine as we began to walk slowly towards the school.
I looked down and marveled at my hand being held so tenderly by someone who had seen the real me and knew what I had been through.
My gaze ran the length of his person until I stopped at his face and I narrowed my eyes.
Am I really doing this with him?
Yes, and it’s crazy.
“So, what then?” he asked. “If they don’t have one available, I mean.”
I hadn’t really thought about it. “I’ll sleep in my car.”
“Like hell you will!”
“Who are you to tell me what I am going to do?”
“I am your boyfriend.” He brought us to a stop and cupped my face between his hands. “And I’m not about to let you sleep in a car, of which you haven’t even gotten yet. You can stay with me.”
He dropped his hands and smiled at me knowing full well what he was doing to me.
“Boyfriend,” I murmured shyly.
“Isn’t that what we decided?”
“No, we didn’t put a label on it, and you know that. In fact, I do believe you avoided saying as much when I asked what we are.”
He grabbed my hand again. “Well, I’m doing it now. That’s okay, right?”
“Yeah, I suppose it makes sense,” I said, “but I am not staying with you.”
“You better hope they have an apartment available otherwise I will be dragging your ass to my place every single night until they do.”
“You wouldn’t.”
He chuckled as we came up to the door and he grabbed the handle but didn’t open it. “You should know well enough by now that I would.”
“That’s controlling.”
“Really?” he asked. “Not allowing someone you care about to be homeless when you can provide shelter for them is controlling?”
No! Not really but…
How was I supposed to justify living with someone that I hardly knew and had foolishly started dating after only knowing for a short time?
Talk about moving quickly.
We walked inside the building when he said, “A lot happened between us, it’s different, so please don’t do this right now.”
I stopped as it finally dawned on me how misplaced so many of the things he had said were. Especiall
y considering he had not been given the context of my inner thoughts.
“What did you just say?”
A panicked look passed over his face. “Nothing.”
“Micah, there is no way you just happened to say something like that right when I was thinking–no, you do this all the time, how is it possible that you–Oh my gosh!” I couldn’t get my words out right because my mind was absolutely reeling. A million embarrassing things I had thought around him flooded into my mind. “You can read my mind!”
I hadn’t previously given my ideas about him reading my mind serious thought, but I should have. If the supernatural were real, then obviously supernatural abilities were as well.
“Uhm, well–” he murmured, and he backed away after he glanced down the hallway and gave away his plans of escaping. “About that…”
“Don’t you dare leave!”
He scratched the back of his head, cracked a boyish smile, and whipped around a little faster than he should have in a public place, ran down the hallway and disappeared around a corner.
No way!
I shook my head to myself as I walked to my first period.
I had thought about how sexy he was even on the first day he had been back, and he knew it!
He also knew how often I had lied to him!
This is awfully unfair!
Out of nowhere I started cracking up laughing.
I entered the classroom and sat down as I laughed so hard tears were coming from my eyes.
A minute later when my hysteria died down, I let my head hit my desk with a resounding thud. People were looking at me, staring actually, but for once I didn’t mind.
My phone buzzed so I pulled it out reluctantly knowing it was him.
Micah: In my defense I can’t read your thoughts all the time… its only when you’re experiencing strong emotions.
Me: Oh, that’s all? Okay, that’s cool then… NOT! Because I’m literally overwhelmed by emotions at least 90% of the time when I am around you!
Micah: He he…that is true…
Me: Please tell me you haven’t pushed my buttons constantly just so you could be nosey…
Micah: Oh, come on, even if I did push you on purpose, it was for many reasons.
Me: That wasn’t a denial… I AM GOING TO HAVE A MELTDOWN. WTF!!!!!!
Micah: I think you are already having one, sweetheart.
Me: Well, it kind of sucks finding out that someone has been privy to all your innermost thoughts.
Micah: I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It just happened and once I realized it was happening, I couldn’t deny that I enjoyed knowing how you really felt when you were trying so hard to keep me out.
Me: Maybe if you would have tried to get in by being nice none of that would have been necessary.
Micah: What do you want me to say? I made a lot of assumptions about you and I didn’t like you or the way you made me feel. I felt like being an asshole was my only defense against what was happening between us. Besides, it’s not just your anger that sets it off. Even when you want me or are reacting to me physically your thoughts and feelings become known to me.
Me: Oh, okay, that’s great. I really needed that confirmation. Also, I didn’t realize you were trying so hard to keep this from happening, that’s just what I wanted, someone else who keeps me just because they feel they have no choice.
Micah: Woah, hold on! That’s not what I meant you just don’t understand everything yet. I want to be with you, I am choosing to be with you so please believe that above all else.
Me: You don’t tell me anything so how would I know what to believe?
Micah: I told you that I would fix that, so please give me a chance to do so. I’ll tell you everything.
I put my phone away because I needed to do my work and do some thinking. I considered the fact that he said he couldn’t help it, but he also couldn’t say that he didn’t upset me on purpose.
It was embarrassing to be sure, but there was a tiny part of me that also felt relief because he knew so much about me and he still wanted me.
The good things in him were worth my having to work around the things about him that came from him being a supernatural being that were difficult.
Damn vampires, demons…or whatever!
It was going to take me a while to get used to all the things that were different about him. Because if we were going to date, he was going to have to be upfront about everything with me.
But still, you can do this!
Later Sai and I walked out of third period and on our way to the cafeteria Micah swooped in beside me and gave me a pitiful look.
The question was there in his eyes, he wanted to know if I was still going to keep him around, so I grabbed his hand in mine and watched as his face was washed in relief.
“Awe. Look at you two,” Sai teased.
“Shh, don’t embarrass me.” I smiled as I tried to ignore all the attention we were getting as we walked through the cafeteria.
I enjoyed myself at lunch, with Micah’s arm around my waist and my friends sitting across from us. I finally felt like maybe, just maybe I could be a part of something bigger. I was ready to let others in, and without my mother to worry about I could do that.
I’d be on my own in one day and with my freedom I was going to make the end of my senior year the best time of my life.
“Good you deserve it,” Micah whispered in my ear.
“Ease dropper.”
“You’re the one getting emotional while you narrate your own life.”
I sighed heavily. “How am I going to live with this?”
“I’m sure you will find a way to master your emotions like no human before you. I can’t imagine you doing any less just to spite me.”
“It’s a good idea actually.”
He laughed at the idea knowing it was impossible.
“What are you guys whispering about over there?” Sai asked.
Micah and I said, “Nothing,” at the same time, and everyone looked at us suspiciously.
“Don’t be gross at school.” Jesse Laughed.
“Oh, it wasn’t like that, I swear.” I nudged Micah. “Right?” He shrugged his shoulders, so I nudged him again. “Don’t embarrass me for no reason we weren’t being gross at all!”
Everyone started laughing at me until finally Micah said, “We really weren’t.”
“Assholes.” I tried and failed to hide my smile.
I looked around the table and felt excitement course through my veins, I couldn’t wait to sit with them all again and tell them that I left my mother’s place and allow them to celebrate with me.
My life was going to get better.
I looked at Micah…Actually, it’s better already.
Three hours later I walked out of the Applewood apartments as every vulgar curse word I could think of came flying out of my mouth every other second. They weren’t going to have a studio apartment available for another month. I should have done what Micah had suggested and seen if I could put down first and last so they would have held an apartment for me.
I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and looked at Micah who was leaning against the back of his car with a devious smile on his face.
“Hey, roomie,” he said.
“Damn it.” I got into his car.
“I didn’t realize you had such a dirty mouth.”
I threw my head back against the seat and groaned loudly. “Shit!”
“It’s only a month, stop being dramatic.”
I sat up and looked at him like he was nuts for suggesting that my lack of housing wasn’t a big deal. “I don’t want to live with you.”
He pulled out of the apartments and headed towards the trailer park as he said, “I know it’s a bit soon and all, but you have no other choice so why make such a big deal out of it?”
“Because I don’t want to rely on anyone.”
I could tell that annoyed him because he started to drum his fingers against the wheel though
tfully.
“Just say it.” It was better that we continued to be honest with each other and be willing to hear the other person out.
“I will be patient while you adjust to having someone like me in your life, but as long as I am by your side, I will catch you when you fall. That means you’re going to have to suck it up and let me care for you or we won’t work. Healthy relationships are give and take. You can’t stubbornly refuse to lean on me.”
I considered his words for a few minutes and he let me do so in silence until he parked his car across the street from the trailer park.
“Sky?”
I turned towards him and said, “Fine. I know, this is what I want, I want to open up and rely on you and others but the second it comes time to put it into practice I freeze. It’s scary.”
He reached across the space that separated us and grabbed my hand. “I understand that it will be hard for you, and like I said I will be patient, but I will also be pushing you when I feel you need it. Just remember it’s because I care.”
“Deal.” I had to fight back tears because I was so emotional from everything going on that I felt like I had been on the verge of crying at every second of every day even when I wasn’t sad. One second, I was numb, the next I was overwhelmed, scared, or excited. I was everything and nothing every second of every day and all I wanted was a quiet moment.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, but can we sit here and talk for a while, I’m not ready to go in yet?”
He turned the car off and settled lower in his seat. “Of course.”
He was so charming and sweet when we were getting along, but oddly enough I liked both sides of him. Since I knew why he was so difficult before as petty as it was, it still changed how I felt about all our fights. They were necessary building blocks to our relationship that I felt confident would mold into something reliable as we got older and resolved our personal issues.
If we made it that far, but he said we would work on being better together, so that had to mean he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Or so I hoped.
As I considered our relationship and where it might go something jumped out at me that I hadn’t yet considered. He had explained to me that he wasn’t immortal but he had a longer life expectancy so what did that mean in terms of aging?