by C L Walker
“Baby, please hang on!”
I woke up to the touch of soft hands brushing away tears from my eyes.
“Why are you crying?” she asked, worry colored her voice, and it warmed my heart.
As much as I loved her feisty side, there was something to be said about her when she was being kind and loving.
Her blonde hair laid in waves around her face that was lit by the night sky that peaked in through the curtains, her face was bright, and her eyes looked clear and very much alive.
She looked just as she had when she had been human and yet so different, she looked like a girl who had been released from her chains. She looked as she was meant to be, but did that mean her fate had always been to meet me, die and be born again? Was it okay that she was denied a human life?
Either way anger filled my heart when I thought of how she had been wronged, she had been murdered and although she lived again it didn’t change the horror of what had occurred.
“I’m okay now,” she said softly.
I brushed her hair out of her face, and she turned to kiss my palm.
“Are you though?” I closed my eyes. I felt like crying again as I remembered what it felt like to hold her as she had taken her last breath.
I pulled myself into a sitting position and clutched the sheets in my hands.
The pain I had felt as I screamed into the night after she had died was unlike anything I had felt before.
I had failed her.
“Micah, stop it.” She moved to straddle my lap. “You didn’t fail me, she did.”
I opened my eyes and was struck by the sincerity in her voice, and the love I felt when she looked into my eyes.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking about this around you, I just dreamt of it and I guess I’m sort of mourning the loss of your human life as stupid as that sounds.”
“Don’t apologize, I died but I didn’t experience the horror of it, I was just there and then I wasn’t what felt like a second later. You’re the one who held someone you care about in your arms while they died so it’s not stupid at all. Endings are hard even when they usher in a new beginning.”
“Thank you for understanding.” I kissed her forehead. “I’m just glad you’re here now... I don’t know what I would have done had you not come back.”
She cupped my face in her hands. “Yes, I am here now and that’s all that matters. We will need time to cope and move on, but I feel confident that we will. The possibilities feel endless now. I hate the life I lived, and I hate that I never felt love, not even from myself and that’s almost the worst part. I let her convince me that I wasn’t deserving… But I know that’s not true, Micah I know and feel so much now… I can’t even begin to articulate–”
I laughed since I knew well how she felt.
“You will in time,” I said. “Thank you, I needed that I think, to know that you aren’t upset about what you are. Do you think you would have chosen this when I gave you the option?”
She opened her mouth then closed it quickly as she pondered her answer.
I waited with bated breath.
“Yes,” she said finally.
When she offered no other explanation, and I couldn’t read her thoughts, I gave her a questioning look.
She looked away and I was grateful that even in her demon state of being she still blushed when she was feeling shy. “I don’t think I would have right away, but I know that I would have eventually.”
“Why?”
Her eyes shot to mine in annoyance, she didn’t want to tell me.
“Could it be simply because you want to be with me?” I asked, and I knew that was only grazing the surface of what she wanted to say. But I didn’t want to help her out too much given how cute she was being.
She crossed her arms across her naked chest. “I already knew what you would mean to me as time went on, I was in denial yes, but deep inside I knew that I would do anything to be with you for as long as possible.”
“Because?” I asked with a smug smile as I was dying to hear three words from her mouth, that when strung together would tell me the depth of her feelings.
She knew that I knew, because with how I was feeling there was no way she couldn’t read my thoughts.
“You’re pissing me off,” she said.
I laughed as I pulled her arms apart and pulled her chest to mine. “I love you, Sky, and I think I have since the first time I saw you down by the creek. It was different then but there has always been something about you.”
I knew what those words meant to her, so I wasn’t surprised when tears slid down her cheeks.
I kissed her lips softly before I said, “I love you, not because of our fate but because of who you are, my little warrior, strong, beautiful and crazy enough to want an asshole like me.”
I kissed her wet cheeks and waited.
“You love me?” she asked.
“Can’t you feel it?”
She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against mine, the tears still fell as her heart rate picked up. “Micah?”
“Yes?” I whispered against her lips.
She pulled her head back just enough to look in my eyes. “I love you.”
“Oh, Sky! You won’t regret giving me your heart, I promise I will never intentionally hurt you and when I make mistakes feel free to punish me.”
She quirked an eyebrow. “Punish?”
I nodded my head enthusiastically.
“Shouldn’t we just talk about it when we have problems?”
“We are demons so we should get our aggression out sexually, obviously.”
She slapped my arm. “You beast.” Then she gave me a curious look. “But then we will talk, right?”
I laughed and she did so with me.
“Of course, that would be the healthy thing to do.” I ran my hands up the sides of her waist and appreciated the way she squirmed. “Anything you consider deal breakers?”
I thought she would need a minute to consider what they might be, so I was surprised when she began firing them off immediately.
“No yelling, no name calling, and no–” she stopped suddenly and looked down at her hands on my chest.
“I would never hit you,” I said as I squeezed her hips tenderly.
She tipped her head up quickly. “I know you wouldn’t.” She took a deep breath and the sheen in her eyes began to clear. “What about you, what are the things I shouldn’t do?”
I shook my head. “There is nothing I won’t take from you.”
“What?” she asked. “But you deserve to be loved and treated well too!”
“I know, but I also know that you wouldn’t take my words and take advantage of them, so I’m not worried about admitting it to you. I will be here always, no matter what, so if you need to beat on me, take your sadness out on me or whatever go ahead. I know you won’t lose control; I know you won’t be like her and I want you to understand that I will never leave your side unless you force me to.”
“Thank you for seeing me,” she said as tears began to fall from her eyes again.
“I love you, so of course I see you. This feeling–unexplainable as it is–gives meaning to my life, it is everything. Loving you is easy.”
“I feel the same and it’s perfectly terrifying.”
“Yes,” I said. “Absolutely perfect.”
That night both of our lives had truly begun, and I felt assured of this later when I heard her whisper two words in her sleep that assured me that she would be okay. “I’m free.”
Author’s Note
To the strong and the worthy: I wanted to write a romance that reflects the feelings of helplessness that so many have felt in hopes that I could remind even one person that they are not alone. There is strength in all of you, you need only find it! There is always hope and as cliché as it sounds there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel. A sexy vampy boy won’t be waiting for you at the end of it (and what a shame that is) but there’s something even
better, freedom! So don’t give up, keep fighting, you got this!
As I am sure you have guessed I am not a known author, and the struggle is real to get my books seen. So, if you could be so kind as to scroll to the end and write a review, and/or give it a star rating, I would appreciate it, as it would help to get my book seen. I also have a Goodreads so feel free to leave a review there as well. I have an Instagram that I will post on eventually but for now I can’t get over feeling weird about all this. I’ve written a handful of books, but I still look at myself in the mirror and think: Nah, she’s no author. So, posting on social media and promoting myself is not something I have got around to doing. Similar to Skylar, I am afraid of stepping out there but I’m trying. So, thank you for being a part of what I hope is only the beginning of my journey.
Be kind to yourself!
<3 C.L.
https://www.instagram.com/malumrose/
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21023458.C_L_Walker
Copyright
Copyright @2021 C.L. Walker
All rights Reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.