by K. C. Crowne
Stop thinking about him. He's your ex, and he's gonna stay that way.
But the more I tried to force the memory of his kiss out of my mind, the more he remained at the forefront of my brain. Without thought, my hand slid lower in an attempt to quash the fiery urge between my legs. But just as I reached my belly button, there was a frantic knock on the door.
"Are you gonna be long, Gabby?" Jared moaned. "I'm dying for a piss, and Carly's puking again."
Ugh!
"I'll be out in a minute!" I called cheerfully as I turned off the shower with a squeak of the dials.
With my hunger growing stronger by the minute, the fridge bare, and Jared and Carly in no state to sit up straight let alone leave the apartment, it was up to me to venture outside in the heavy snow in search of food. In the fresh light of the morning, I could see how pretty the town of Station Springs was with cute houses lining the streets and the picturesque mountains in the distance. It was the kind of place you saw on chocolate boxes and postcards. So why was there a mobster in town? It hardly seemed like the kind of place he'd be interested in. It wasn't as if it was some den of vice and glamour.
Walking to the end of the block where Jared told me the best coffee shop in town was located, I was slightly buoyed by the promise of a blueberry muffin. I could see the shop in the distance, its blue light shining toward me through the snow. My stomach grumbled in anticipation.
As I reached the entrance, I looked in the window and saw a roaring fire at one end and a counter at the other with the usual hipster baristas that always worked in these joints. The place was crammed at this hour, and the air was thick with the smell of nutty coffee and sweet treats. My mouth watered as I reached for the door, but before I could grab it, someone tapped my shoulder.
"Gabby?"
I spun round and saw all six-foot-four of him staring down at me, not a trace of the booze from the late night before visible on his face. If anything, he looked even fresher, more alert, and happy to see me.
"Good morning, Jackson."
"Fancy seeing you here. I don’t normally come to this place. Usually go to my own diner, but I felt like a change today. Guess I must have known you'd be here or something."
He grinned and looked down at his shoes for a split-second.
Did he just look bashful to see me?
"Hope you've recovered from last night," he said.
"I'm all good," I said. "It's Carly I'm worried about. Girl can't hold her liquor."
He rolled his eyes and blew out a long exhale. "Neither can Jared. The two of them are total lightweights."
"That's what I said!"
He laughed and it felt so natural to laugh with him. "So. You fancy joining me for breakfast?"
Play it cool. Act as though you don't really care that you bumped into him, even though you feel like doing cartwheels.
"Yeah, sure, I guess." I shrugged to add to my nonchalant attitude.
We headed inside, and the guy behind the counter beamed when he saw Jackson approach.
"Morning, big guy! To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I was in the mood for one of your caramel lattes. Tracey just can’t make 'em right. And a vanilla latte too. That's still your favorite, isn't it, Gabby?"
“I'm amazed you still remembered.”
“How could I forget?”
"Morning, Jackson," came another voice from behind us as an old guy squeezed by.
"Morning, William."
As we took our seats at the window, Jackson kept looking up every few seconds to nod or wave at someone.
"Wow, do you know everyone in this town?"
"Pretty much."
"I feel like I'm out with someone famous."
"Ah, I'm nothing special." Clearly the locals felt differently.
"Sorry about last night," he said as the waiter arrived and placed our coffees down with a smile.
I watched as Jackson dipped his top lip into his frothy coffee. When he leaned back, he had a milk mustache, and I had to physically restrain myself to keep from leaping over the table and licking it off his face.
"Sorry?" I asked.
"About getting a bit, you know, handsy with you. Hope you don't think I was trying to pressure you into anything."
"No, not at all. I know you're not like that." I touched my lip then pointed at his lips. He frowned at me. “You have milk on your upper lip.
He laughed and wiped the milk from his lip with the back of his hand. “I thought for a sec there you were asking for a kiss.”
“Oh!” I said, my face reddening as I laughed, embarrassed. “No!”
He smiled at me. "It really is great to see you," he said. "If I'm being honest, I thought I'd never see you again."
"Yeah, well, that's the way I thought you wanted it."
He cocked his head to the side, confused, and his friendliness was dampened by my comment. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, you broke up with me, remember? I mean, you didn't want to see me again."
"That's not true at all. Is that what you really thought?" he asked, oddly surprised that I thought that.
"Why else would you break up with me?” I asked haughtily, irritated. I sucked in a breath and held up my hand. “You know what? Never mind. There’s no sense in bringing it up after all this time. We’ve moved on."
You haven't moved on at all. You've never forgotten about him. You've always longed to see him again.
I clenched my hands into fists beneath the table as I willed my brain to stop chattering.
"I ended our relationship because I was going to war, Gabby. I was trying to protect you."
"Protect me? From what?"
"From everything,” he announced, frustration clear in his voice. “From being held back by a guy who wasn't even in the same country as you, from a guy who could have been blown up at any minute.” He paused and changed his tone. “You deserved better, Gabby. You deserved to be with someone who could actually be there for you. Who could take care of you and do all the normal things that boyfriends do, like take you out and spoil you, hold you as you fell asleep, and answer the phone when you called. What could I do for you? Give you one twenty-minute Skype call a week and a handful of letters that took four weeks to get to you?"
His face crumpled as he pushed his coffee away. Looking out the window, he disappeared inside himself as though he was remembering something, his eyes glossing over at the memory.
"Do you think I wanted to end our relationship?" he asked, staring off into the distance. "Because that was the last thing I wanted to do."
My stomach sank as I looked into his face. Gone were the beaming smiles and sparkling eyes, and in their place was a stormy expression and deep lines set around his eyes.
"I had no idea it was like that," I murmured. "I thought..."
"Thought what?" he asked, finally turning back to me.
I couldn't figure out if he was angry or sad; either way, his eyes were dark and his lips were pulled into a tight line.
"I thought you were just bored with me," I confessed. "That you were too good for me because you were some incredible Navy SEAL and you got to travel the world being the hero. I mean, what would a guy like that have in common with a girl like me?” I leaned back and listened to the silence between us. Looking into his face, I tried to figure out what he was thinking, but his expression was stony. “Anyway, I thought you were probably drowning in offers from girls way better suited to you than I was. Girls in uniform who knew what war was, unlike me."
He was silent for an excruciating minute as he contemplated my words. Around us, the clatter of cups and plates sounded and echoed through the music of people gossiping as soft jazz played from the speakers. At the back of the room, the barista cranked up the milk steamer as the bell chimed at the front door. And in the middle of the humanity sat us, silence engulfing our table as we realized the reality of our heartbreak was not what we thought it was.
"Did you really think that about me?" he
said, his voice soft and low.
"I did."
Looking hurt, he shook his head and massaged his forehead with a tattooed hand. "Then you never really knew me at all, did you?"
"I knew you better than anyone else."
"Then you would know I would never think of you that way. You were the most important person to me, Gabby. Did you really think I would just dump you for some piece of tail? Just because I had some hero complex?"
The anger blazed in his eyes. He took a deep breath, sat up straight, and looked around the room as though he was worried people would see him losing his temper.
"Well, you could have just told me the damn truth,” I answered, my own anger building inside me.
“And let you try and talk me out of it?”
I shook my head and let out a mirthless chuckle. “I think I better get back to the apartment," I said, screeching my chair back along the floor. "This was a bad idea. "
Scooping up my bag and coat, I hurried to the door and rushed out into the street. The snow was falling in thick sheets across the sidewalk and reached my ankles as I plowed down the street. I hadn't made it too far before I heard the muted crunch of heavy footsteps in the snow behind me.
"Wait, Gabby!"
Chapter 8
Jackson
You're a complete idiot. You had no right to be angry with her. You weren’t honest back then. No wonder she ran away.
“Gabby! Wait!"
I caught up with her just as the snow started to fall harder, coating the streets like powdered sugar as the wind picked up. She was shivering inside her coat as she wrapped it around herself and fumbled with her scarf. Her cheeks were flushed red from the cold, the tip of her nose glowing pink.
"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to get angry."
"I guess we weren’t as good at communicating as we could have been."
The wind blew through her hair as the temperature continued to plummet. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt cold like it. Maybe the weatherman wasn’t wrong.
"Come back inside?" I asked. "I'll get you one of those white chocolate brownies you always liked."
"Wow, you still remember that?"
"How could I forget?"
She lingered for a second as though she was contemplating walking away, but as she shivered, her eyes darted back to the coffee shop where she was probably thinking of the crackling fire in the hearth and the warm smell of brownies.
"We don't have to talk about us," I offered. "Let's leave that behind, right?"
"Right," she said with a faint smile.
We turned toward the shop and the tension between us dissipated. As we entered the coffee shop, I was pleased to see the place had begun to empty out as the weather worsened and people were anxious to get home. It would be nice to have a quieter space to talk.
Gabby rubbed her cheeks as she tried to get the blood flow to return to her skin, and I wished I could have held her to warm her up, squeezed her tight, and kissed her cold cheeks as I brushed my fingers through her hair.
I watched her in silence as she looked out the window while the snow fell. She chewed on the edges of the brownie before dipping her tongue into the melted, gooey center with no idea just how sexy she looked. Watching her eat was something I used to love. There was just something so endearing about seeing a girl with an appetite.
"Stop it," she ordered.
"What?"
"Staring at me like that."
"I'm not staring at you."
"I can feel it."
She turned to me and licked the chocolate off her delicate fingertips. I would have given anything to do it for her.
"So, I've heard all about this diner of yours," she said. "I never imagined you as much of a chef."
"Oh, I can't cook for shit. I just help run the place and eat as much free food as I can get my hands on."
“Sounds like a pretty sweet deal. And you've got your security agency. You've turned into quite the entrepreneur. I remember the days when you'd have to decide which was more important, food or beer?"
"I was just a kid then," I dismissed, chuckling. "I've changed a whole lot and learned so much over the last few years."
"I can see that," she said, cupping her hands around her mug of coffee to feel the heat.
She shivered as the warmth spread throughout her fingers and smiled as she gazed into the fire. An old woman was sipping on a cup of tea as her old Beagle slept by the fire, its ears twitching every so often when slices of cake were taken out from the cabinet.
"Hey, you remember that big Labrador you used to have?" she asked.
"Argos? I'd never forget that big fella. He used to be my best friend. Loved that furry dude."
"I loved him too. Always kept meaning to get a dog, but..."
"But what?"
"I dunno. Guess I'm too busy to have a little pup in my life.”
Picking up a napkin, I fidgeted with its corners as I listened to her talk. The Gabby I used to know was always impulsive and did what she wanted. She wouldn't have thought twice about getting a puppy; hell, she would have probably bought ten just for the fun of it.
"What's at the top?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"What's at the top of your list?"
"Oh, quit my job, obviously."
"Really?"
"Oh, yeah. It's the worst. Sitting in an office is my idea of hell."
"So what would you do instead?"
Without skipping a beat, she said, "Open my own sports store. A place where I can sell skiing gear and even sell lessons for kids. Wouldn't that be awesome? Especially somewhere like here in Station Springs."
Her eyes were alive and shining with the thought.
"So why don't you do it?"
She shrugged and her eyes were dull again. Despondently, she stared down into her coffee and said, "I dunno. I guess the timing's not right. I mean I'm trying my hardest. Saving up as much as I can while working my crappy job. "
"But if it's crappy, why stay?"
"Did you not hear me?" she laughed. “I need to save money.”
"Aw, Gabby that sucks. You don't deserve to be trapped in a dead-end job like that just because you want to save money."
"I'm not trapped,” she corrected me. “It's just a temporary thing until I can save up to do whatever I want.”
It physically hurt me to think of her in some boring office job. She was just too good for that. She deserved to be free and happy and stinking rich. I wanted to imagine her running wild around the mountains skiing to her heart's content before returning to her own store, her own business, her own free life.
Then a thought struck me, one that came flying out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"I know a perfect place for a store," I said. "Right across from my diner. It used to be a golfing store, but it went out of business. The building's been empty for a couple months now. I can take you down there if you want."
"Hmmmm... It's a bit soon. I'm not really ready to start looking at places yet." She scraped her chair back along the floor and nodded toward the bathroom. “Heading to the little girls' room.”
I watched her walk away, admiring the curve of her hips. A thought crossed my mind, and thinking quick, I took a chance. Pulling out my phone, I called the realtor, Harold, the same guy who had sold us the diner.
"Hello?"
"Harold, it's Jackson from Securicore and—”
"I know it's you, Jackson. I'd recognize that voice anywhere. How are you, buddy?"
"Great."
"Everything okay at the diner?"
"Oh, yeah. Awesome. Look, you're still trying to sell the old store across the road from us, aren't you?"
"Sure am! Place has been abandoned for a long while."
"Are you by any chance free to show me around?"
"Thinking of expanding?"
"Not me. My..." Friend? Girlfriend? Ex? "I know someone who'd love to take a look."
"I can be down there in ten minutes," Haro
ld told me. "That suit you?"
"I'll be there." I hung up just as Gabby returned from the bathroom. "Wanna take a drive?" I asked her.
"I gotta get back."
"A quick one."
She narrowed her eyes and bit her lower lip. "A quick one?"
"I'd like to show you something. Won't take long. Come on. You'll like it."
I took her hand and led her outside. She remained suspicious and resisted slightly as we reached my truck.
"Are you not going to tell me where you're taking me?"
"It's a surprise."
"Ooohhh. Any hints?"
I winked at her. "Just get in."
As I pulled away from the coffee shop, I imagined her setting up her store across the road from me. Wouldn't it be a paradise to have her close by every day.
A few minutes later, we pulled up outside the store and I could see her eyes widen when she saw the building.
“What's this place?”
“Your own store, I hope.”
“Jackson!”
"It's awesome, right?"
She stared at the building in awe, but she was shaking her head at the same time. "It's perfect."
"So, you'll come have a look?"
She slid out of the truck and onto the sidewalk. Walking over to the window, she pressed her gloved hands up against the glass and looked inside.
"It's amazing," she breathed. "And it's huge!"
"So..."
"I'll have a look at the place, but that doesn't mean I'm putting in an offer. How did you arrange this so fast?"
“I know a lot of people,” I smirked.
Behind us, Harold pulled up in his Mercedes and gave us a friendly wave as he strode over.
"Harold McKay," he announced, shaking Gabby's hand. "Why, you must be new in town. I've most definitely not seen you around before."
"I'm just visiting for the weekend."
"Aw, that's a shame. This town has a severe lack of pretty faces. Now, let’s take a look inside."
He fumbled in his pocket for the keys and let us inside. We were immediately hit by the smell of fresh plasterboard and the cold.