GD: No, just within his own circles.
RTC: In other words, not in any of the major book stores, right?
GD: Oh, I suppose if a customer came in and made a special order, they could get it for him but not to carry it.
RTC: Ah, you see there. So as informative and very readable though it might be, no major publishing house would ever dare to print the Mueller material nor, most especially, advertise it nationally. And believe it, Gregory, that even if some big house printed it, it would never see the light of day. Why? Because our people would block it. It’s that simple. They would ruin you as they have ruined many other authors who have gone before you for daring to speak ill of them. Can you imagine the New York Times reviewing it? I think not. I think not ever. One phone call from us and into the wastebasket with any kind of commentary, good or bad. Gregory, the blanket of silence would descend upon you, believe me. Silly idealists somehow believe we have a free press here but it is as tightly controlled as it is in Russia or it was in Hitler’s Germany. Oh yes, the paper out in Podunk, Kansas is not controlled but all it talks about are whose cow won a prize at the state fair and how the local football team is doing. No, those papers are not controlled because no one but a bunch of hicks read them. But the AP, all the major papers, magazines, publishing houses and television people are under tight control. The rumor about the Jews owning all the papers is only partially correct. The media is owned by corporations. Yes, Jews have a strong say in both corporations and the industry but they do not control it. Corporations control the media. If some article injures any one of them, or has the potential to do so, the article ends up in the trash along with the reporter. I know the New York Times does just what we wish them to do, print what we wish them to print and kill off any story we tell them to. Besides, we control the AP and all across the country, many of the national and international news stories come direct from the AP.
GD: I know. I was a newspaperman once. Boiler plate. Smaller papers can’t afford to have reporters in Moscow or Washington so they depend entirely on the AP for such news.
RTC: Yes, it’s a very effective choke point. The public are fed pap and contrived stories and nothing, not a word, gets out that we don’t want out. And I am afraid that this will apply to your books. Sell them door to door or to a few military historians via your friend Mr. Bender but no matter how well-written they are and no matter how many uncomfortable truths they may reveal, I am afraid you will never, ever, get rich as a writer. Whispering campaigns will start about you and even though I know that your Mueller Gestapo boss worked for us…Christ I had lunch with him at the Jockey Club once and the Metropolitan Club twice….no one in Washington will ever mention this. And I have heard that they are now frantically trying to find out if you have any papers on this. They can make snide dismissal comments but they are really frightened that you might have something to prove that the head of Hitler’s secret police not only worked for the Company but lived in luxury in Georgetown. Jesus, the Hebrews would scream so loud the Capitol dome would collapse. And not to mention the entire left wing of both coasts. No, enjoy yourself while you can because the blanket is about to come down. They won’t shoot you because if no one outside a small group of people ever hears about your activities with a typewriter, why should they care. And don’t talk to Kimmel or Bill about any of this because neither of them are your friend. Anything you say goes right out the other door. Have you read over the Kennedy assassination material yet?
GD: Working on it.
RTC: Well, it’s a forlorn hope, Gregory, forlorn.
GD: Well, I don’t think a hack like Steven Ambrose would dare to tread outside the fixed boundaries of official history. Of course, I recommend Ambrose books to my friends because if you buy any Steven Ambrose book, you get at least five other books at the same time.
RTC: (Laughter) Well, Hitler and Stalin had their state historians and we have ours.
GD: And old Winnie Churchill wrote all about how wonderful he was and called it history.
RTC: But just a little word here about not elevating your expectations. They are watching you, Gregory, and you might consider another line of work.
GD: Oh, I can be very creative, Robert, and believe me, I am vicious as hell when I choose to be. I have enough on some of these people to have them hanged in public and they can push and I will shove. It will all come out in the wash, I think. And do you think some fat pin head with a ski mask will shoot me in a shopping mall? Maybe twenty years ago but the CIA people I have run into over the past few years are a bunch of gutless faggots who might gang up on me and hit me with their purses but nothing more serious than that. True, they have made trouble for me but believe me, I have also made trouble for them. If I ever meet you somewhere, I can tell you some wonderful stories. Sometime we can talk about the story of the pinheaded SEAL in Berlin and how he came to be tossed out of the country. I have lots of nice stories like that. Well, I am still working up the Mueller things and I agree with you although my tattered idealism still gives me some hope that justice will prevail. If it doesn’t, why I might become very annoyed. Well, we shall see. And no, I never tell Kimmel or Corson a thing and no, I do not trust either of them and yes, I know they run bleating to higher authority when I tell them some secret. Actually, I rather enjoy the little game but it is a bit like playing chess with a blind man as an opponent, A little unfair but then so is life.
(Concluded 11:30 AM CST)
Conversation No. 104
Date: Monday, September 15, 1997
Commenced: 1:38 PM CST
Concluded: 1:55 PM CST
RTC: Good morning, Gregory. Did you, by any chance, get the packet I sent you?
GD: The one on weird conspiracy crap?
RTC: Yes, the same.
GD: I did and I am still laughing. My God, when Reagan closed the nut houses in California, these things really took off. Actually, to be fair, that sort of lunacy has been around for years. But how the CIA could get tied up with some of them boggles the imagination.
RTC: Well, there were indeed very strange people in our ranks, I’ll grant you that. We had Gottleib, Cameron and other odd ones. The Swann person was another one. You know, the Remote Viewing insanity.
GD: Oh yes, indeed. I lived near SRI in Menlo Park and I heard hysterically funny stories about this at the time. Leaving the astral body to float around in space and then down to old Mother Russia to slip into the KGB headquarters to spy on the workings. Or float off to China to see what Mao was doing. The thought that taxpayer’s money went into such things is really not very funny. Tell me, although I only saw a brief mention of it, were you tied up with the Scientology nutties? The planet Xenu? The bringing of the Thetan master race to Montana by DC3s? Jesus, I know Hubbard spent some time in a ‘Frisco nut house but how, or I mean why, do sane people believe such shit?
RTC: From a poor, very bad science fiction writer to cult leader is quite a step but L. Ron made it.
GD: My God, I know about him and I met some of his drooling acolytes once. And had to listen to hours of psycho-babble about being clear or their fake emeters. All they do is rope in rich fools and skin them to the bone. But please tell me the CIA wasn’t tied up with these nutties.
RTC: No, Hubbard hated us. We were asked by DoS to investigate him when he was running all over the Med, getting the police of various countries after him. We concluded that all of them were crazy as hell and that Hubbard was either an inspired paranoid idiot or a total fraud. I rather suspect he was both. I hear he got so crazy out in California that his people killed him.
GD: I have heard the same. And cremated him and dumped the ashes into the ocean off the stern of an old sardine boat. Well, now Lafayette is up on Xenu, running the pay toilets in the Imperial Palace there. God, I thought that once we got rid of the Christian Scientists, the fake churches were done for.
RTC: Well, Gottleib was crazy and Cameron was crazier what with their experiments but at least Hubbard had a run for everyo
ne’s money and enjoyed lots of teen-aged pussy before they offed him. Gottleib fucked goats and we had to off Cameron for everyone’s welfare. No, we had nothing to do with the Hubbard business.
GD: Ah, but you did get into the Remote Viewing business. Did you do crystals too?
RTC: What?
GD: No, just some New Age nonsense. I know if I had an out of body experience, I would want to visit the girl’s gym shower room at a local high school. Not too young and before the bodies turn to rubber and the tits topple. High school girls were OK for Hubbard to play stink finger with but they really aren’t too smart. Some of them are nice to look at, though. Go to any beach, Robert, and look at the flab and sag. Oh and men too. Must be democratic here. Guys get sagging tits and jelly bellies as well. But in the old days, young people kept their shapes longer but now, they bag, sag and drag at ten or eleven.
RTC: (Laughter) We all get there, Gregory.
GD: Yes, we do but I would rather look at the cat box than the blubber guts strutting their stuff. Ah, well, so much for Remote Viewing.
RTC: Mr. Swann conned some of our less intelligent people out of millions.
GD: Maybe they can start their own church, Robert. Like Hubbard, the ebox king. Former Xenu Imperial Chancellor. Oh, and don’t forget the Illuminati. Robert, they rule the world now. Tens of thousands of them wearing soiled underwear, sitting in their own dung at their underground headquarters in Des Moines and controlling the world. And the New World Order! Robert, we are both getting old so maybe the Order will give birth after we are gone. Isn’t it amazing, the hysterically funny fictions that bipeds actually believe? The Easter Bunny now has become legend. I look for a Book of the Bunny any day now and frantic worshippers holding Bunny Meets on high school football fields, buck naked and jumping up and down. My God, what a disgusting image. And the Remote Viewing people can all gather in the stands and soil themselves in sexual frenzies while caressing their crystals and smoking pot. Malthus had the right idea but why do we have to wait? How about starting a plague somewhere and getting rid of the nutties in the process?
RTC: Utterly futile, Gregory. When the human race regenerated, the types would emerge again.
GD: Yes, along with piles and chronic skin diseases. I had to listen to more unadulterated crap back in the ’70s than you can imagine and the Remote Viewing and Scientology shit fits right in with bong dreams.
RTC: Bong?
GD: A water pipe for smoking hash. But most of these lunatics don’t need drugs to hallucinate. Imagine Thetans or superior people and by that, I mean those who have read the really terrible Hubbard sci-fi stories, Thetans are flown to this planet on DC3s. Of course space is a vacuum so no plane could fly between here and Xenu. And where, pray tell, is Xenu? Somewhere in the Cornflakes galaxy, right near the planet Vulva. And if you pay the Scientologists enough money, they’ll suddenly discover you are a Thetan and get to the head of the contributing class. Oh well, just because the CIA went for the out of body nonsense is no reason to link it with the Hubbard freaks. I shouldn’t have even brought it up. Dealing with fatties and space cases are so debilitating. And then we can contemplate getting it on with an epileptic whore. Just as enlightening and thrilling.
RTC: Well, I sent you what I had on all of that.
GD: And I thank you but if I tried to get any of it published, they’d lock me up in a rubber room. You know it’s true and I believe it’s true but I doubt if normal people would believe a word of it. Listen, let’s send Corson to Xenu! Great! He could tell them he was an American field marshal and take over the Xenuvian army and invade Mars next month. Bill would have a wonderful time out at the L. Ron Hubbard Theme Park where all the Thetans love to visit. Enough, enough. I ought to get back to throwing roofing nails out on the freeway and watching the accidents.
(Concluded 1:55 PM CST)
Conversation No. 105
Date: Saturday, October 4, 1997
Commenced: 1:55 PM CST
Concluded: 2:10 PM CST
RTC: Hello to you, Gregory. How is it going with you?
GD: I’m making it. Listen, you’ve read the first Mueller book, haven’t you?
RTC: Yes, and enjoyed it very much. Why?
GD: I got this letter from Bender. It was sent to him from Spain and he forwarded it on to me with a note suggesting the writer might be an interesting person. I wrote to him….I think he was in Madrid,…and he has sent me two letters since. He said he was a top level Spanish intelligence agent but also worked for the German Abwehr and the Japanese. Was telling me that he was in Berlin in ’45 and in Hitler’s bunker. Said he helped Hitler and Bormann escape to South America. I asked him some technical questions about Bunker security and it was pretty obvious he knew nothing about Berlin, Hitler, Bormann or even Mueller. He told me that he helped Mueller and Bormann escape to South America and that Hitler went with them. This was a crock of shit because both of us knew Mueller and he was never in South America. Also, Bormann’s body was found back in 1972, in, as I recall, December, in Berlin and there is no doubt it was his. I got a copy of the German forensic report and believe me, they spent a long time on this one. So, Count this or that insisted that I include some information about his great findings. As I said, I wrote him with questions about technical details and he was further off factual base than old Gitta Sereny and her fake interviews. Well, we know Bormann was positively dead and you and I know that Mueller lived in Georgetown after the war and we both know that Georgetown is not in South America.
RTC: Who was your correspondent, out of curiosity?
GD: If you wait a moment, I’ll dig his idiot letters out of the file
(Pause)
Fine. His name is Senor Don Angel Alcazar de Velasco.
RTC: (Laughter) Oh, that one. I wouldn’t pay too much attention to him, Gregory. He’s about as real as Santa Claus.
GD: How do you know that, pray tell?
RTC: That’s one of our cover names for disinformation. Don Angel doesn’t exist.
GD: I can’t say that surprises me, what with the leadership of the Third Reich packed into submarines and shipped off to a secret base in Argentina. And why would you bother with such idiotic fairy stories?
RTC: We had certain reasons for that, Gregory. Are you going to follow up on this?
GD: Why not? I love to kick the shit out of liars. And what a liar! And stupid as a post. Why don’t you hire intelligent people?
RTC: Well, the Argentina underground Nazi base has its uses. Oh, and have you heard about the bases in the Antarctic?
GD: Oh, yes, that too. SS troops disguised as penguins and a big flying saucer base down there. But why are your people interested in that ancient history?
RTC: Question here. Did Mueller ever discuss this Hitler business with you?
GD: Yes, indeed, he did.
RT: And what did he tell you?
GD: That Hitler got out and just where he went.
RTC: And that was….?
GD: Well, it wasn’t South America, that’s for sure.
RTC: Could you…would you tell me what Mueller said?
GD: Surely, if you explain all of this mysterious business to me.
RTC: It’s far too sensitive, Gregory.
GD: What? That Hitler got away? You people had nothing to do with it. The CIA wasn’t even in existence in 1945.
RTC: I don’t….are you going to poke fun at Don Angel? And I really would like to know what Mueller told you. As a personal favor.
GD: Central America.
RTC: Could you be more specific?
GD: Yes, I could. And could you help me out here a bit?
RTC: Tell me what Mueller said and we can get to your request.
GD: Costa Rica.
RTC: Shit. Pardon me. Yes, shit. Did he tell you where in Costa Rica.
GD: Yes, he was very exact. Now please enlighten me, if you can.
RTC: Gregory, this is a very sensitive issue, you understand. If I fill you in a little, will you promis
e me, in advance, that you will not write about it while I am still alive?
GD: Promise.
RTC: We found out about this later. You are right in that we had nothing to do with it. We did, and do, have a significant base in Costa Rica and if the word got out that Hitler had gone there, all the whining Jews like Wiesenthal and Elie the Weasel will go down there, after begging for bags full of money from their suckers, and make life miserable for our people. I would really not want to see hordes of screeching Hebrews pouring into San Jose and sounding like parrots on a hot stove. The Jews are such pests and I think the bubonic plague would be more welcome. And besides, the Germans run that country and I doubt if they would want a plane full of bagel snappers down there. That’s why we encourage our fronts to stress South America, preferably Argentina. Of course Hitler didn’t go there but we stress Argentina because we do have, or have had, some high-level SS and police people in Paraguay and Chile and it is better that the twits all go to another country. We also took under consideration…but this was back in the ‘40s don’t forget…that if Joe Stalin actually did try to invade Europe, as we know he wanted to, we could bring Hitler back from retirement to lead the German people in a new crusade but this time with American support and, don’t forget, atomic weapons. Old Adolf is probably dead by now but at the time, we had to touch all bases. But if you publish any of this and if you put down that country, the Hebrews will make trouble. Let them go to Argentina. And please keep away from that Don Angel person because if you jerk his covers off, it could cause the Company endless problems. Hitler and Mueller are dead now, as dead as Bormann so why not use some of the really interesting material I sent you and please, I really ask you, stay away from Hitler in Costa Rica. It’s bad enough that you are publishing that Mueller survived the war and worked for our people and even worse that he lived in Georgetown. If that ever gets really going, every Jew in the lower forty eight will rise up and howl with rage and then to put Hitler into it would be the end. I’m sure you can grasp this, can’t you?
Conversations With the Crow Page 55