by Jo Holloway
Was that why she'd begun to feel sick? How close was Livyx, or Linnaeryx, to them? Cara rubbed a hand across her middle as she searched the assembled animals. Which of the others had been watching her grow up struggling all those years before she knew about Pyx and what it was that made her so different from everyone else? She didn’t know how she felt about it, and wasn’t sure she’d be able to tell at the moment anyway. The emotions from the creatures around her were overwhelming her own, and deep regret ate at her.
Wes glanced over. When she nodded that she was okay, he turned to focus on Jenner. “You said last week this had something to do with the bus crash and the mental health crisis Portland’s seen lately.”
“I did,” Jenyx replied. “We believe it has everything to do with that. The city’s population did not collectively begin to go insane on its own. You recall my explanation of why we have a law against using a human as a pyxis, and the three possible outcomes?”
Wes nodded. “Our minds reject the Pyx’s presence and fight it, causing insanity.”
“Unless the human is too strong and shuts their mind down to protect themselves,” Cara said, “like Liv.”
“Too stubborn, you mean,” Rhys muttered.
The tiny smile and shake of his head was out of love for his sister, but the tremor in his voice betrayed his lasting feelings. Liv had done exactly that and trapped Livyx inside her mind, which is how they’d all wound up here together in the first place.
“Which leaves one other option,” Jenyx continued, “the few humans who do not fight back against the presence in their minds and instead lose themselves entirely. We believe that is what these Pyx are aiming for.”
“Jenyx is right. And humans are far from perfect, but no one deserves to be treated like a skin suit for someone else’s purpose, no matter what it is,” Tomyx grumbled from the boulder.
Cara fought back the bile in her throat as the disgust of the Pyx around the circle multiplied her own.
“Zombies,” she whispered, recalling how she’d thought of it the first time she’d heard of this. Rhys made a noise beside her, also cringing at the notion.
“If that’s what they’re going for, then how does it explain how all the rest of the people are affected?” Wes asked.
“This faction of law-breakers does not seem to care how many people they go through before finding one compliant enough to allow them to take over,” Jenyx answered. “In the process, they may inhabit a dozen humans who fight back for every one they eventually find who does not. They move past those first ones quickly, and those people may fully recover once the Pyx leave them, but not always before they’ve acted irrationally or outside of their normal behavior. If they are unlucky, they may have lasting damage, or have been injured by their actions, or have hurt others, or—”
“Or have committed suicide.” Rhys finished for him.
Waves of sorrow washed over Cara, flooding her own. Her knees threatened to buckle with the torrent of emotion. Wes put a hand on her shoulder, and Rhys leaned closer. Both their faces were downcast too. She reached up to wipe away the tear rolling down her cheek.
Silence extended across the space until Cara managed to swallow and speak again. “So what reason did Livyx—I mean Linnaeryx—give for this string of attacks? And why is it still going on?”
“She can tell you,” said the gruff voice from the bear. “She’s here.”
CHAPTER 4
ONE OF THE SHADOWS deep in the darkness of the surrounding trees moved. The whole shadow. A shape larger and darker than the black bear shifted in the gloom.
Wes rocked onto the balls of his feet. Her mind hadn’t processed her fear yet before Rhys put himself between her and the shape, shielding her. His arm extended around her, grasping her wrist to hold her in place behind him.
The spot in the middle of her chest did a weird little flip. It had been a while since that had happened around him, and she almost didn’t notice in the sudden motion. The flutter had as much to do with being in shock at what she’d seen as it did with noticing how he’d protected her.
The rest of the Pyx might have moved past their remorse for the poor humans affected by the law-breakers, but this newcomer brought enough sadness with her to keep Cara’s feet rooted firmly in place in spite of her flash of fear at the sheer size of whatever it was.
She couldn’t see over Rhys’s shoulder. But his closeness gave her confidence, and she balanced with her other hand against his back to lean into the safety of his arm and look around him.
All three of them held their breath until the huge shadow shifted again. She was too big to be human. Too tall for an animal. Her arms were too long, and her outline was . . . shaggy? She stood upright on two legs in the darkness. Cara squinted. Muscles rippled under her hand as a shiver ran up Rhys’s back, and they both let out shallow breaths.
Behind the giant form, another shadow shifted, even bigger than the first.
There were two of them.
“What are they?” she breathed.
No one answered.
Jenner turned his back to the beasts in the shadows, and Wes relaxed his stance slightly. Cara took a breath. Jenyx wouldn’t put them in danger, and he certainly wouldn’t endanger Jenner.
“These Pyx, Linnaeryx now included, are guardians,” Jenyx told them. “You know we have watchers, Pyx who stay in one area for long periods and observe the evolution of the region, and wanderers, Pyx who travel the globe bringing news and developments to others. This is how we have operated for millions of years, through many eras and cycles of life since the very beginning, adapting as the earth has changed and species have come and gone.”
They’d heard as much before, but Jenyx had their undivided attention for what came next. He was revealing secrets not many people, maybe no one before them, had ever heard. She could tell from the way the clearing crackled with tension as they all anticipated his words.
“Very rarely, we encounter a species that, for various reasons, we cannot allow to be driven to extinction. This has been more frequent in the last millennium than ever before, and humans have been the greatest threat. Several of our kind are now dedicated guardians. They guard the species, inhabiting all remaining members to protect them from human eyes and to help them survive. These species then help us in a variety of ways. In this case, by guarding other Pyx serving sentences for their crimes, and protecting us all. Linnaeryx has voluntarily gone into service with the guardians as her sentence.”
Their heads all jerked up to the dark shadows when Jenyx finished speaking.
“I’m happy to serve out my five centuries, and maybe more. I know I deserve it. I might choose to stay and do some good long after this. I know it won’t make up for what I did.”
The remorseful tone in the new voice hit Cara like a punch in the gut despite the filter of Rhys’s warmth. The sharp angle of his shoulder blade dug into her hand as he tensed.
For the first time since the creatures had appeared in the darkness, she realized Liv’s would-be killer stood in front of them. She stepped out from behind Rhys but kept her hand on his shoulder, offering what little support she could.
“You’re right. It doesn’t make up for it. But we’re here to learn what you can tell us about the others,” she said to the deep shadows.
“I understand. But you must know, I had no idea that would happen. Please allow me to offer my sincerest apologies, though I don’t expect you to accept them.”
Rhys lurched forward, and Cara’s grip tightened on his shoulder. She turned and held him back from throwing himself across the clearing at the enormous figures in the dark. He trembled under her hands.
“I’m so sorry, Rhys. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling,” she whispered up at him. His gaze flickered between her face and the trees behind her. “But I don’t have to imagine what she’s feeling.”
He stopped glancing back and forth and focused on her. If only she could appreciate the lines of his face in the dusk, but the nause
ated feeling from Linnaeryx was too overwhelming. Looking into his darkened eyes, she tried to focus on what he needed—what she could say to help—instead of on the awful sensation filling her.
“I need you to trust me on this. She really does regret it. I don’t know what I’d have to do in my life to feel this terrible about myself.”
“You shouldn’t be the one feeling like that.” His gaze softened.
“Can’t help it. No control.” She had to choke down her breaths past the churning sensation that kept building. “You don’t have to accept her apologies, but she is sincere, and I think she’s here to help now. Please . . . just . . . oh, crap . . . don’t move.”
She dropped her hands and raced to the tree line, where she vomited into the bushes.
Perfect. Glad you didn’t manage to go a day without doing something humiliating, Cara.
Footfalls behind her gave him away, and somehow, she knew it was Rhys who had followed her.
“No, seriously, don’t come over here.”
She gagged again and spat on the ground.
Ladylike, nice.
He ignored her, because a hand warmed her lower back a moment later. The chill evening air eased her throat when she inhaled and stood upright.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“No, I’m sorry. This is hard enough without me making it worse. I just . . . I can’t stop picturing it.”
She knew he was imagining the moment he’d once described to her, when Liv had fallen to the ground screaming right in front of him. It was on her mind too, and it must be fresh and raw for him with the culprit standing so close to them now. His hand trailed away as she turned, leaving a warm tingle in its place.
“No one expects you to forgive her, no matter how bad she feels now. We’re here for answers, that’s all.”
“You’re right. I know. And for what it’s worth, I do trust you. You good to go back?”
Wes waited for them to rejoin him after she took another breath and nodded. The guys stayed close enough together for her to lean into them both for support, and the nausea-inducing remorse from Linnaeryx receded behind their wall until she could think again.
“Where were we?” Tomyx asked, with a hint of his joking tone returning.
“I understand one of you is the girl’s family,” Linnaeryx said.
“We’re all her family now,” Cara replied, “but we’re not here to talk about what you did to Liv.”
Rhys’s fingers brushed against the back of her hand. Good. He should know he wasn’t alone in protecting Liv anymore. She could think about him saying he trusted her later.
“Tell us who else was involved. What made you do it?”
“Let me start from the beginning.”
“Are you coming out where we can see you?” Cara asked.
Remorse, regrets, and her own bitterness aside, she desperately wanted to know what enormous creatures the guardians protected.
“No. I’m a guardian now, and even though I’m new to this, I won’t make the mistakes I made before.”
The bigger shape behind the first shifted in the dark. Cara got the sense Linnaeryx had a guardian of her own for now.
Linnaeryx continued. “She’s shy, as are the rest of her species, for good reason. I won’t do anything to make her uncomfortable. I won’t do that again.”
“Start from the beginning, then.” Rhys addressed his sister’s attacker for the first time.
“All right. It was two years ago. I had been wandering for ages, but each place had begun to feel more depressing than the last. I heard news from all over of increasingly difficult conditions for so many species on this planet, humans included. The Pyx who convinced me to join the movement promised me we would help. We watch and we wait for so long, until it’s too late to save them. I was tired of it. The way she explained using humans didn’t sound as bad as I’d always been told. We would enter one mind, and if the human fought back, we would move quickly to the next, not harming anyone. When we found one who didn’t fight, we would stay. That person would then be protected by our presence, not harmed, and we could use them to stop other humans who were doing much more damage than we ever could. It really didn’t sound so bad. I couldn’t see the downside.”
“Looks like the rest of them moved on from the idea of not harming anyone.” Cara’s jaw tightened.
“How many others did you try?” Wes asked.
“Other humans? None. The girl was the first.”
“Unlucky,” Cara said. Harsh but true. “So who was the leader who convinced you? And how do we stop her?”
“She was not the leader. I never met him. I’m sorry I can’t help more.”
“Not as sorry as we are,” she muttered. She struggled to remember why she’d stopped Rhys from going after this thing, or why she hadn’t joined him in lunging across the clearing to exact revenge.
“We should be heading back to the school,” Jenyx said. “Darkness is falling.”
Wes turned toward Cara and checked her expression. She ran a hand through her hair and rubbed at the base of her neck.
He scanned the woods around them and stepped away from her side. “Thank you all for telling us what you know. We’ll be careful.”
She snorted. Wes was one to talk about being careful. He was the reason they’d ended up on Rhys’s doorstep last year with no plan but to confront him about kidnapping Pyx. That encounter had ended with Jory punching Rhys in the face and her having to smooth things over. Okay, maybe that was a bad example since it had worked out in the end. Still, Wes wasn’t exactly the authority on careful.
Wes turned away from all the animals and gave Rhys a pointed look. She grimaced. What was that about?
“Jenyx is right. We should go.” Rhys stepped away from her other side, turning for the path back to the school.
Her weight shifted as she rebalanced. Why was everyone keen to leave all of a sudden? She crossed her arms. “We’re here. Shouldn’t we talk more and ask more questions?”
Thomas landed on the ground with a soft thump. His leap from the boulder took him halfway across the clearing, and he stalked the rest of the way without stopping.
“Jenyx and I can answer anything else now. The council has witnessed what they needed, and you heard from Linnaeryx. Time to go,” Tomyx said.
She shook her head.
Rhys rested a hand on her arm. “Cara, come on. I’d like to get back to Liv.”
Her eyes narrowed.
Probably a date with Emma is more like it.
Wes started down the path after Thomas. She shrugged her arm out from under Rhys’s hand and stormed after Wes, leaving Rhys and Jenner to follow. They trudged along the trail, and her irritation grew steadily into full-blown anger.
They’d been right there with the council they’d been asking about for months. How could Wes and Rhys be satisfied with the little they’d learned? And why had it taken so long for them to be told that much, anyway? Jenyx and Tomyx had been keeping all that from them for far too long. It made her furious. Now they were headed back to the dorms so Rhys and Emma could be together. Trying to say it was so he could see his sister . . . Did he honestly think—Oh.
Uh oh.
A shiver wormed up her spine.
This isn’t you, Cara. He probably does want to see Liv after that. And you did learn a lot. And Jenyx and Wes are always protecting you, even from yourself.
They’d started talking about leaving as soon as she’d responded to Linnaeryx with irritation. That feeling was mild compared to the hostility now. She halted in the middle of the path, and Rhys had to put a hand out to stop from bumping into her. She peered into the deep black on either side of them. It really had grown dark.
“They’re here. At least one. Close, I think,” she whispered. Her insides hardened with bitter hatred that wasn’t hers. “I think we should—”
Jenner barked—a deep aggressive bark she’d never heard before. “Run!” Jenyx’s voice thundered in their heads. The do
g crashed into the bushes, vanishing into the dark. Flames clawed up her ribs, and she lurched to run after him. No one was going to hurt Jenner.
Rhys caught her, holding her back the way she’d done for him. “He’ll keep Jenner safe and give us time. Now go.” He turned her shoulders and urged her forward on the path.
Reluctantly, she broke into a run that quickly turned to a sprint. She wasn’t the only one out there. If someone was after them, then she wasn’t the only one in danger. They could hurt Wes, or Rhys. They all raced along the trail, with branches whipping at their arms until they spilled out onto the lawn behind the dorms. They slowed in the open space. A moment later, Jenner burst out of the undergrowth a few yards away.
“Gone. I believe she was alone.”
“She?” Cara asked, panting.
“Yes. Jenner drew close enough to make out the outline of a woman, but she retreated, and I steered him away to safety to return to you.”
Confirmation of another human pyxis so soon after meeting Liv’s attacker and hearing what she had to say was sobering. The forest behind them seemed to teem with hidden dangers as night pressed in.
“Thank you, Jenyx.” She knelt beside her dog. “And thank you for the protection, Jenner.” Her anger had dissolved along the run, and she rubbed his head. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth. “Let’s get you some water.”
THE DOOR TO WES AND Jory's room stood open. Liv jumped up from her perch on Jory's desk and threw her arms around her brother when they walked in.
“You okay? How was it?”
“It was . . . something. Come on. I’ll tell you everything,” Rhys said, and steered her from the room.
He would want some time alone with his sister to tell her about her attacker, and relay the apology from Linnaeryx if he wanted. If Liv would accept it. The rest of them could talk to her later.
Jenner lapped up water from Thomas's dish in the corner, and Cara flopped down on Wes's bed, completely drained.