by Jo Holloway
“Why, though? I get why you’d want Jory to meet your mom, but why me?”
“You’re my best friend, silly. I wanted to tell you guys before, but couldn’t really figure out how to bring it up. Honestly, I thought Rhys might object, but he agreed way easier than I expected.”
A flutter hit Cara’s chest, but as hard as it was not to read anything into that, she made herself move on. “I’m sorry I’ve been a crappy friend lately. You keep coming to listen to me, but I haven’t been there for you.”
“Forget it. You’re here now.” Liv bumped her hip into Cara’s and shot her a genuine smile as they reached the entrance.
A blast of warm air hit her as they entered the double doors, and she was transported. Flames raged all around her as the timber-dry forest of her vision crackled and burned. Terrified doe eyes searched for an escape while her hooves pounded the earth. She bounded through the trees until a blaze cut off the only opening.
Cara froze, determined not to let the Pyx’s memory coursing through her mind affect her in the real world. It would pass. She just had to breathe. In the forest fire, smoke choked her lungs, and she fell to the ground. The only thing Cara truly felt was the terrible realization that her life was over even though the physical pain never came when the flames took the poor deer. Suddenly looking down from above, she mourned its loss as she flapped her brand-new wings and fled the heat waves of the fire in a new pyxis.
She took a sharp breath, and the lobby of the care center reappeared around her, along with Jory and Liv. They’d recognized her momentary freeze, and Jory covered by stopping to tie his shoe as her friends had done so many times over the last couple months. At the change in her breathing, he stood up.
“You good?” he whispered.
She nodded. She didn’t need to take on the emotions lingering from the vision. It was about choices, like her uncle had said. Right now, she was choosing to be strong and support Liv. She squared her shoulders. Some sadness lingered, but it made sense given everything Liv had shared and the reason they were here. She would let herself feel some of it, but this was about her own life, not millions of other creatures’ past lives she couldn’t do anything about.
“I’m sorry, Liv,” she said. “I’m here. I promise.”
“No apologies today. We can be here for each other.”
Liv squeezed her hand and then let go to greet the staff at the front desk. After stopping to wait for the door to be buzzed open, she led Jory and Cara down a corridor. Plush carpet padded their footsteps, and sleek lighting showed off expensive-looking wallpaper in modern geometric forms. Wooden doors were numbered like fancy apartments. This place screamed attention to detail and exclusivity. No wonder the Whaltons had chosen it when privacy was so important.
The door to number twelve stood open, and Rhys’s voice floated out to the hall, causing another pang in Cara’s chest. She couldn’t make out the words, but his tone was patient and warm. This might be harder than she’d thought. She swallowed as Liv entered first.
The woman on the couch next to Rhys looked up at the group coming in. Her dark-blonde hair matched her son’s, but her oval face was an older version of Liv’s. Cara had seen a picture of her in Liv’s room last year, but Elizabeth Whalton had aged more than the dozen or so years that had passed since that photo had been taken. Grey hair streaked her temples, merging into deep wrinkles extending from the corners of her eyes. Their pale blue-grey examined the people entering her room.
“Olivia?” she asked.
She searched back and forth between Cara and Liv, and Cara hung back so Liv could make it clear to her mother who she was.
“Hi, Mom.” Liv moved to the couch, and Rhys stood. He squeezed his sister’s shoulder and let her slide past him. Liv took his place beside their mom.
“I’ll be outside.” He cast a glance at Jory and gave him a nod. Then his eyes found Cara’s, and she did her best to tell whether he was happy she was here. She still hadn’t figured it out when he dropped his gaze and moved past them out the door.
Her focus returned to the people inside the room as Liv introduced her and Jory.
“Cara’s my best friend. You’ll like her way better than some of my old friends you used to know. And Jory is my boyfriend.” Liv held her mom’s hand while she talked. “You won’t remember, but I’ve told you a lot about him before.”
“You have?” Jory beamed.
Liv gave his leg a playful tap. “Of course, dummy.”
He sank down onto the ottoman in front of them. Cara moved to the armchair on the other side and perched on the edge.
“I’ve told her all about how you two saved my life. And how generally awesome you are.”
“Why did your life need saving?” Elizabeth turned to her daughter. She sounded mildly curious, but she could have been asking about a neighbor or a distant relative.
“Long story,” Liv answered, then turned to Cara and Jory. “I’ve told her about Pyx before. I figured it didn’t matter since she won’t remember. It’s not like anyone else would believe it.”
“Believe what?” Elizabeth asked.
“It doesn’t matter, Mom. Basically I had a sort of infection in my brain and they cured me.”
Cara frowned. “That’s not exactly—” She stopped when Liv shook her head. She was right. It wasn’t worth going into the details. “Technically, Rhys saved you. We helped, along with our other friend Wes.”
“So you and your brother look after each other?” A few of her words slurred together, but Liv answered without hesitation.
“Oh, yeah. I lucked out in the family department. Dad too. He’ll be here to have dinner with you later, I’m sure.” Liv squeezed her mom’s hand. Turning to them, she added, “He comes here for dinner almost every night.”
Cara’s heart ached for their family and all they’d been through. No matter how wealthy they were or how many charities they supported, money couldn’t fix plain bad luck. Liv still thought she was lucky in spite of the situation. In spite of everything that had happened to her personally, and with her mother sitting with a bland expression like someone hearing about a stranger’s life story, Liv still found a way to look on the bright side. She was choosing it. Looking at Elizabeth Whalton’s face, barely affected by her daughter’s story, was another stark reminder to Cara that she had to stop shutting people out. She was lucky to have that choice.
While Liv and Jory told stories from school, Cara’s mind wandered over the people in her life and how she could let them in again.
Her gaze settled on Jory. Friendship with him had always been easy, no matter what awkward patches they’d gone through. Besides, he’d had Liv these last few months, so it wasn’t like he’d needed her. She’d be able to patch up that friendship without much trouble, and Liv already seemed fine.
Which led her to Wes. How could she have shut him out after he’d been there for her at the mansion and so many times before? Of course, he’d been quiet lately too, even for him. But that was how he was. She knew that.
You have to fix it, Cara.
She pursed her lips with a fiery resolve. Wes was like family. No way she was losing him over a bunch of random memories and crazy emotional roller coaster rides. Not happening.
And what about Harrison? Talking to him had been really nice and might be exactly what she needed. This guy who didn’t know about Pyx at all had been the person to make her remember she could feel things for herself too. Not everything had to be doom and gloom all the time. But as much as she could admire his emerald eyes and listen to his accent tell her . . . well, pretty much anything, she wasn’t ready to give up on the fantasy of butterflies and blushes. She wasn’t ready to settle for nice and easy.
Another one for the friend zone.
Her lips twisted with a sarcastic little scoff. She sure was getting to be good at being friends with guys. Maybe that was all she was good at. Crap. Maybe that was what she needed to be with Rhys—friends. The idea sat heavy, but if she was s
upposed to let people back in, she’d have to stop avoiding him.
“So if this is your boyfriend”—Elizabeth turned away from Liv to Cara—“then does that mean you’re dating my son?”
The heat in her cheeks was instant. “Oh, no. No. I’m friends with Liv.”
“Remember, Mom? I told you Cara was my best friend.”
“Too bad. You’re very pretty, and you seem nice.”
Cara stared at the cluster of feet on the plush carpet while Elizabeth Whalton watched her. “Um, thank you?” She looked up to Liv to save her, but Elizabeth continued instead, and Cara met her eyes.
“He deserves a nice girl.”
“Yes, he does.” She answered sincerely because she meant it. A flush of pleasure ran through her that his mom, no matter how misguided, thought she could be that girl. It was a beautiful idea for a second. Then Emma came to mind, and she snapped back to reality. He already had a nice girl.
Jory cleared his throat. “I’m so happy to meet you, Mrs. Whalton. You have an amazing daughter. I’m sure she takes after you.”
Liv laughed. “You don’t have to suck up, babe.”
“What? I’m not. It’s true.”
Cara shot Jory a grateful look. Count on Sunshine to charm his way through any situation. “I’ll give you guys a minute,” she whispered. She rose and left the room.
Rhys sat on the floor in the hallway with his back against the wall, staring at his phone with a little curve to his lips. Liv and Jory’s voices floated out to them. Oh no. Had he heard his mom’s awkward suggestion?
“Hey.”
He looked up from the screen. “Hey.”
The quiet word was all it took for her to want to be closer. She moved to the wall and slid down beside him. Knowing about his mom now, and how few others knew, meant she was one of the only people he’d be able to talk to about it, and that wasn’t something she wanted to take away from him. For him, she’d find a way to be a friend, no matter how difficult.
“Thanks for letting me come today. It means a lot.”
His face softened, and he turned his head to look at her. “I did say I’d tell you. I’ve wanted to for a while now, but there was never a good time.”
“That’s what Liv said too.” She’d been too out of it lately. Too focused on what was going on with her. “Is it okay for me to ask what—?”
“She had a stroke. Almost three years ago now. Actually, she had a whole series of mini strokes, but we didn’t know until after the big one. Dad hates himself for not recognizing the signs soon enough to get her treatment before.” He drew his knees in closer, staring at his hands. “Now she has dementia from the damage.”
Cara’s brow wrinkled, and her lips pressed into her teeth. There was nothing she could say.
“She was outside, gardening. They think it was a few hours before our gardener found her and called the ambulance. We’re lucky she survived at all, but it was too late to prevent the damage to her brain. She’s regained a bunch of mobility and speech since then, although she used to talk up a storm. If you’d met her before, she’d have talked your ear off and learned your whole life story before she let you go.” He paused, staring through his knees, and a lump rose in her throat. “She has okay short-term memory for now, but the cells that died affected her long-term memory. It hit the perfect spot in her brain to erase most of her life. Just really shitty luck.”
“Rhys, I’m so sorry.”
Without thinking, she reached out a hand and placed it on his arm for comfort. His forearm gave a slight jump under her touch, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he turned to look at her.
“It could be worse. At least I still get to talk to her.”
Cara’s head dropped, and she let her hand slide back to her lap, ignoring the beautiful curve of his mouth and the urge to hold him. She wasn’t sure this was better. Would she rather go talk to her dad’s gravestone, or have to remind him who she was every time they spoke? There were no winners here. She lifted her sleeve to dry her eyes before she could look at him again.
“I know it’s a secret, but is it okay for Wes to know? You know he wouldn’t tell anyone.”
“He already knows.”
“He does?”
“Uh huh. He actually figured it out. Most of it, anyway, and guessed at the rest. Something about finding a bunch of tiny clues in all sorts of articles last year and finally putting all the pieces together. Smart guy.”
“You two talk a lot, don’t you? I don’t think I realized how much.”
“Aside from Emma, he’s probably the person I talk to most. My old friends are all graduating soon and moving on. After I missed a year and fell back a grade, most of them couldn’t figure out what to say to me anymore, anyway. Emma helped keep me sane when I first got back to school in the fall, when Liv was still in the hospital and I didn’t really know my new classmates yet. But Wes is the only one I can talk to about the Pyxsee stuff.”
Somehow, she’d never been more jealous of Emma, or more grateful to her. She could have kicked herself. He should have been able to talk to her too, not just Wes. He clearly needed more friends, and she could have been that to him even if it wasn’t anything more. Why had she let her feelings get in the way?
“Especially the last few months with everything that happened after the dance.” His forearms rested on his knees in front of him with his phone dangling in his hands.
It lit up with an incoming message, but he clicked it off quickly, and she almost smiled. It was something she’d noticed about him. He never checked his phone when other people were around. Quirky, maybe, but she admired it.
“Don’t you want to check that?”
“Nah. It’s not important.” He set the phone down on the carpet.
“I’m sorry I’ve been a bit . . . whatever. I should have been more like Wes. I mean, you went through this with your mom”—her arm swept an arc across the open door in front of them—“and then everything with Liv not long after. I can’t even imagine what you thought when that happened. I feel terrible that I didn’t know the whole story, and then I made everything worse when you had to relive it. If only I’d listened to you and Wes that night.”
“Are you kidding?” His head snapped over to her, dark blond hair bouncing on his forehead above stormy eyes. “I’ve been trying to find a way to apologize to you since that night. I should never have handed you that beetle or let you go back in there. Seeing everything you’ve been going through since then . . . I hate myself for letting you get hurt.”
“You’ve been feeling guilty?” It was so unexpected, it took Cara a moment to process his words. “I was happy you trusted me that night. But after, I thought I reminded you too much of what happened with Liv when she was attacked. I was avoiding you because you couldn’t stand to be around me.”
“Why I couldn’t—What? No. Cara, you . . . you don’t remind me of my sister. Not in any way.” He almost laughed.
His eyes held hers with a warmth she had forgotten. It soothed the ache in her soul after hearing his story. When his gaze felt like the sun warming her skin, being his friend was going to be even harder than she’d thought.
CHAPTER 17
“CARAVANSARY,” JOSH called up the stairs. “Got a minute?”
Cara poked her head out her bedroom door to look down the staircase at her uncle. “You’re running out of nicknames.”
“Never. I might have to get more creative, that’s all.”
She moved into the hall and placed her hands on her hips. “That’s a scary thought.”
“Come downstairs.”
“Fine, just a sec.”
Returning to her room, she checked her phone again for a new message. She’d been chatting with Wes over the last few days and was finally feeling better about things. Not that he’d been mad.
No new message. Oh well. She’d see him soon anyway when they all got together for dinner tonight. Then she could finish her apology in person.
Rich smells pou
red from the kitchen where her mom was using practically every special olive oil and herb, and all the gourmet cheeses she’d received from Lydia. The gift basket had arrived the day before, a week after Lydia was finally released from the hospital. Her long road to recovery had included surgery to rebreak and place pins in her arm, an extensive nutrition program to bring her weight back up, and a long course of antibiotics for the varied infections in her other injuries. Oh, and there’d been that nasty parasite. Cara shuddered. It hadn’t been easy on the poor woman, and the lavish gift basket was a thank-you to Sandra for all her support throughout.
Sandra seemed happy—when she wasn’t looking stunned—that Lydia was acting like her old self again. Cara struggled to keep her face neutral whenever her mom commented about how it was as if the past year and a half had never happened. For Lydia, it basically hadn’t. Blissfully, she had almost no memories of it. Cara had visited her once in the hospital, when she’d been home for a track meet in the city one weekend. It was hard to say whether the odd look Lydia gave her was because the last time she remembered seeing Cara had been at her eighth-grade graduation and she’d grown up a lot since then, or whether she had some other faint memories stirring beneath the surface.
“Come on, Jenner.” She pulled on a pair of socks and headed downstairs with her dog in tow to see what Josh wanted.
She found him in the kitchen.
“That sounds like a disaster,” Josh was saying to Sandra.
“It really is. The environmental impact of the Brookfire Dam has been far worse than any predictions. It’s a mess. The only upside—which is selfish of me to even think, let alone say—is that I might be appointed lead counsel on the class action. It’s a career case.”
“Don’t feel bad about it, Sandy. You’ll be on the right side of things.” Josh picked up a bowl to move it out of the way.
“Too bad that doesn’t undo the damage. Here—” Sandra held out a hand for the bowl, which she promptly put right back where it had started.
Uncle Josh’s version of helping looked a lot like getting in the way. Her mom shot her a grateful look when she asked what he wanted to see her about.