by Jo Holloway
The tree’s only offense had been managing to grow in this filthy place. She’d be careful not to do that again. She could find others who felt the same way. There were more like her who had lost so many pyxides lately much closer together than usual. They’d do something to fix this. They’d wage war if they had to. She apologized to the tree, and the vision melted to another scene.
Her legs rooted to the ground in her despair, and her limbs multiplied, stretching skyward, covered in rough bark. Stepping back through time again, she recalled the giant Sequoia fondly. She should have had a couple centuries in the tree to recover from the last aching loss of another pyxis before she had to endure it again. After the string of lives cut short recently, she needed the break. Then the men showed up with their brutality and bulldozers. It was more than she could take. She snapped and entered her first human mind.
The memory that followed was full of hate, not to mention violence and bloodshed as she’d used him to slaughter his shocked friends. Nothing less than they deserved. She flinched from those thoughts and slipped further back in time instead. More trees . . . hundreds of them . . . but all one. Their roots connected them, binding them and offering ongoing life even as the individual aspens died out. This clonal forest had been here for thousands of years, with thousands more in front of it. She could inhabit this rich and vital life for as long as she needed. Then the soil dried and crumbled around her. Her roots shriveled and died in the drought, and the trees failed. Leaves fell, never to be replaced. By the time she left, nothing remained but skeletons clawing at the sky. The irony of this death after the drowning of the last pyxis broke her all over again.
The last pyxis . . . She rewound further to visit that memory. The sea turtle had been one of her favorites of all time, which was saying a lot after so many millions of years. He’d had such a joyful spirit and vibrant personality. She’d loved surfing the currents with him, feeling his bliss at the freedom his world offered. She felt his confusion when the trash rode in on those same currents. Floating junk crowded his ocean and cut at his flippers when he tried to surf and swim. Then the fateful day came. Guilt crushed her lungs. She hadn’t been paying attention, and she’d failed to keep him safe. The plastic bag must have looked like a jellyfish. Instead of a meal, it stuck in his throat. She used every bit of influence she had over his body, but couldn’t expel it. Together, they sank to a watery grave, and she thought about staying there forever. It might not be worth living anymore.
“Cara. Wake up. Cara.”
Her eyes flew open in her dorm room. Jenner had jumped onto the bed, and his wet nose bumped at her face. She gasped, and pain ripped through her lungs as they refilled.
“Cara. Oh, thank goodness. There you are.” Jenyx sounded close to panic.
Wiping her face, she found it streaked with tears. Her chest hollowed. After all she’d witnessed in her mind, she wanted to rage at the world too. For a moment, she sided entirely with the Pyx who had experienced those losses, and shared his need to cleanse the earth. At the same time, she was sick at the actions he’d taken already, and sicker for having felt herself do them in the vision. It carved a hole inside her. But something else burned through her to fill the emptiness left behind. Purpose. Understanding.
No single person was responsible for the mess the world was in, and more mass destruction wasn’t the answer. She could understand the choice he’d made, but it wouldn’t be hers.
Choking down the emotions stuck in her throat like the plastic bag, she sat up.
She gulped air. “How long was I out?”
“It has been at least a half hour. But you stopped breathing nearly a minute ago and would not wake. It was terrifying. I did not realize these visions would be capable of affecting you so.”
“Sorry. Neither did I. But after what I saw . . . I know you’ve been through worse than this. Even if I died.”
“Do not say such things. No matter how much death we witness, all life is precious.”
“I know it is. I know. But for most of us, death is inevitable and it only happens once. For you, though . . . I wouldn’t want to watch it and feel it over and over like this. I don’t want to when I keep seeing it from his memories. But I understand him better now. I know why he’s doing this.” She swung her legs to the floor and stared at her socks. Jenner jumped down from the bed and came over to rest his chin on her knee. She laid a hand on his silky soft head and sighed. “He’s broken. We broke him.”
“It is no excuse for his actions.”
“Maybe not to us. But he thinks it’s justified. He thinks he’s saving the rest of the world from us.”
“This Pyx . . . he is terribly misguided.”
“Messoryx. His name is Messoryx.” She took her hand away as Jenyx’s surprise rippled through her. “At the start of the vision, I was in Lydia, and I knew. That was my name. Lydia tried to fight back for a while when she realized something was wrong. I think I—he—used her to kill someone. She didn’t want to be used for more violence. That’s when she ran into traffic. Afterward, he took stronger control, but he already had his own identity. He’d already been gathering followers. He’d been doing it for years before Lydia.”
Jenner stared at her with sad eyes.
“I don’t think he meant for me to see all of that. I don’t know how I did or why I know all this now, but I do. It’s him, Jenyx. He’s their leader. He’s the one who started all this.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. By letting herself go into the vision, deeper than she’d ever been into his consciousness before, she’d seen who he was. She’d touched his pain and felt his fall into bitterness. But she’d also seen the men he’d killed when he’d snapped and ripped them apart with their own chainsaws. She swallowed the bile from his memories—from being him while he took his own identity so he’d have stronger control over that first human. Lead weights settled inside her at the way he’d overridden the man’s will to fight back and used him to murder his friends. She cringed at the string of faces of the people he’d killed, injured, and ruined since then. He’d never stop.
“I’m still not sure why he’s coming after me. But I do know I’m only a tiny part of his plan. I’m just something he has to deal with before he can move forward, for some reason. Then he’ll be able to move on to the rest. He’s going to keep recruiting. He’s already found a lot of other Pyx who feel the same way and are ready to be a part of his war. They’re going to use us to destroy ourselves before we can destroy everything.”
“Perhaps we should not proceed with speaking to the Pyx who surrendered yesterday.”
“No. I have to. Maybe she changed her mind and wants to help us, or maybe he sent her and the others to kill me. Either way, she could have information that will help us figure out what he’s planning. He managed to keep that from me. I have his memories, not his plans for the future, but I know it’s bad.”
“She is only one, and we will be many. Still, we will have to proceed with extreme caution.”
The thought she’d had when she’d come back to herself burned through the hollow space inside her. She hated the idea, but he had to be stopped. And there was only one way. It was clear now he was too broken to turn back.
“Jenyx, I need to know how to kill him. I know you’d be breaking your laws by telling me, but it’s the only way. I’ve seen how much hatred he has now. It’s all he thinks about.”
As she spoke, Jenyx’s reluctance and anguish at her words pierced through the fire in her belly. But she couldn’t let it stop her. The fire would have to forge those emotions into new, hardened weapons she could yield when the time came. Her mind went to the knife tucked away in her sock drawer.
She had to kill Messoryx. Nothing less would stop him. Even if he was right about the problem, he was wrong about the solution. Whatever his exact plan was, too many people would die if he had his way.
“I cannot tell you that, child. You know this. Even if it were not against our laws, I wou
ld never want you to resort to such measures. We will find another solution, Cara. Together.”
It would be pointless to try to convince him, she could tell. But that didn’t sway her. Maybe the Pyx would tell her something useful tomorrow. She’d figure something out. There was no other way.
“I’M NOT HERE TO HELP you, you sad, sad human. I’m here to give you a message from our leader.”
“Messoryx.” Cara’s gold eyes were locked on the glowing green pair in the middle of the clearing. The heart-shaped face of the sturdy woman in front of her gave nothing away, but she sensed the surprise of the Pyx inside when she used Messoryx’s name.
“That’s right.” The Pyx recovered quickly. “He sees what needs to be done. We’ve let this go on long enough, and if we don’t step in now, it’ll be too late for all of us.” The woman turned her glowing eyes to the Pyx surrounding the clearing, ignoring the guardians on either side of her. “You should all be joining us. Fight back for every other species on this planet. Do your duty to the world we’ve inhabited longer than any other.”
Grawlls rumbled a warning at Cara’s side. She put a hand in the bear’s long, coarse fur, and he quieted.
From the moment she had approached the clearing, she’d known this wasn’t going to go the way she’d hoped. The outlaw before her radiated condescension and disgust that coursed through Cara’s body. Even her shock at seeing the two guardians up close standing in the clearing in all their enormous glory wasn’t enough to cut through the feelings. This wasn’t someone who had seen the error in her ways and wanted to help defeat Messoryx. This was a loyal soldier, here on his command. She’d willingly turned herself in to whatever consequences awaited her just to deliver his message.
“Nice speech. Really. You’d fit right in with the drama club.”
The woman’s creepy eyes snapped back to her. “And you. So naïve. You don’t think this is about saving people, do you? Because even if we stop, you’ll wipe a whole bunch of yourselves out soon enough, the way you’re going. The trouble is, you’ll take too many others with you.”
Cara’s teeth clenched. The truth and bitterness in the words climbed her throat. It wasn’t like she wasn’t aware of the crisis, no matter how much the world tried to ignore it. She choked down the acid and fought to remember which side she was on.
“So what’s the message you’re supposed to deliver?”
“Don’t try to stop us. Your precious school and friends aren’t as safe as you think they are. If you don’t leave us alone, we’ll find ways to convince you. Or eliminate you. Our work is noble. Don’t try to convince us otherwise.”
Even if they had a point, a few ominous words weren’t going to convince her mass murder was the best solution to the problem. Not happening. “Then work with us instead. Stop stealing people’s lives and help us. Messoryx and his death campaign have to end, but the rest of you could still turn back and help us set things right.”
“Don’t you think it’s too late for that?” the Pyx seethed.
The bitterness rose again, but this time, there was sorrow too. It felt like it was on the other side of a wall in her mind. Like two sides of a shared space.
Her stomach sank. “I hope not.”
It almost felt like the hatred from the Pyx eased up for a moment. Then the lead weight settled back into place in time to match her next words. “Hope died decades ago. You humans failed to notice through your greed. Messoryx sees. He knows the path forward, and he’ll lead us there.”
All the things Cara had been through thanks to their leader ran through her thoughts. The first time she’d seen Liv in the hospital with one of Messoryx’s recruits trapped in her mind. The times she’d snapped at her friends with hostility she couldn’t place. The attack in Portland, and Wes’s injury and long recovery. Even Jory’s concussion at Rhys’s hands had been a result of the path Rhys had taken trying to save Liv. It was all because of Messoryx and his followers. It was all connected. Then there were the visions haunting her days and nights now. In spite of all that, she was one of the lucky ones. When she thought of Lydia and all the other people impacted, she shuddered. It had to stop.
It was a choice between letting him continue with his disregard and disdain for human life, or stopping him and hoping the others would decide to find another way to help. Could she get this Pyx to see that? Josh had said she could be more persuasive than she knew. Maybe it was worth a try.
“Messoryx won’t be able to lead you. As soon as I learn how to kill him, I will. Find another way, and tell the others who feel like you do to find ways to help, instead of hurting.”
Now who’s giving drama club speeches, Cara? You don’t expect that to work, do you?
“Ha. You protect this weak human. You let her influence your decisions and yet, you won’t trust her with simple secrets. You’re pathetic. All of you. You deserve the fates awaiting you.” The woman’s glowing green eyes stopped prowling across the other Pyx and fixed on Cara like a wild cat staring down its dinner. “You want to know how to kill us? How about I show you?”
She whirled and flung herself at the guardian on her left.
CHAPTER 21
GRAWLLS WAS BETWEEN them before Cara could see anything more than the woman’s legs kick through the air as she landed on the guardian’s shoulders. Linnaeryx joined the fight with her enormous pyxis, rushing to save her fellow guardian, and Cara craned to see what was happening while the forest erupted into motion around her. Grawlls stood on his hind legs and let out a terrifying roar, turning her legs to trembling mush.
“Cara, we must go. Please,” Jenyx urged her, using Jenner to nudge at her legs.
The danger of the situation electrified her skin, zipping warnings up and down her limbs, but her feet stuck to the ground. She was torn. She didn’t want to see the Pyx in the guardian get hurt, and she’d promised Liv she’d leave immediately if anything felt off, which meant she should have left before they ever reached the clearing. But the burning resolve since she’d fallen through Messoryx’s memories yesterday meant she desperately wanted to know how to kill him.
She lurched forward, trying to step around Grawlls to find a view of the noisy battle raging in the middle of the clearing. The bear’s broad, furry side slammed against her and sent her sprawling through the branches off the side of the path.
A hand grabbed at her arm. “Get up. Let’s go,” Wes’s low voice whispered beside her ear as his firm grip looped under her shoulder and helped her scramble to her feet.
The shock of seeing his face right beside her spurred her into motion, and they spilled back onto the path and ran for the school. Jenner barked his encouragement for them to run faster, and darted past to take the lead. Branches crashed behind them. She chanced a peek over her shoulder and found Grawlls following them, protecting the back of their group.
They burst out from the trees into the clear grass behind the Cedars dorm, and Cara put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. Wes was doing the same, with his bow dangling from one hand and a quiver of arrows across his back.
“Where did you come from?” she asked between gasps for air.
“I got there early. Found a spot up a tree, downwind and out of sight. I figured they’d use that clearing again for the meeting.”
“You shouldn’t have been there. You weren’t supposed to be. What if they’d caught you?” He could have ruined everything. He could have gotten hurt again. Protectiveness and anger fought for dominance inside her. She couldn’t decide which was worse. “You didn’t trust me to take care of it alone.” Or betrayal. Maybe that was it.
“Good thing, Cara.” Wes raised his eyes and shot her a look that made her flinch when he swore. “You don’t need protection from them as much as from yourself. You knew she was still on the other side when you got there. I could tell from your face. Why did you stay after you knew it was dangerous?”
“I had to know.”
“How to kill them?”
“Yes. Did you
see from where you were? Did you see what she was trying to do?” She dismissed the flashes of fear and disappointment from Jenyx and Grawllyx listening in. It didn’t matter what they thought.
“No. I was a little busy making sure you didn’t get yourself killed.”
“And what were you going to do?” She gestured to the bow in his hand. “You can’t kill the woman, and you don’t know how to kill the Pyx. What good was that going to do?”
“I don’t want to kill anyone, but I’d damn sure slow her down and do whatever I had to to stop her from killing you. I thought you’d be smarter after the archery range. Wasn’t it bad enough putting Harrison in danger then? It wasn’t your fault that time. We didn’t know that would happen. But if you keep putting yourself in these situations, they’re going to keep coming after you, and it won’t just be you in the way.”
Before she could snap off a retort or let the brutal honesty of his words sink in, a keening howl rent the air.
Jenner and Grawlls both lifted their heads to the sky and let out howls and roars of their own. Ice froze every muscle and nerve in Cara’s body at the chilling sound.
Deep in the woods, the battle between the Pyx was over. Without needing to ask, she knew. A guardian was dead.
WINDOWS OPENED ON BOTH floors of the dorm behind them. Grawlls slipped into hiding in the woods. The roar he’d made would have overridden any ability he had to hide in plain sight from the rest of the students. There was no way they’d missed the loud howling, and fear would heighten everyone’s senses. Some braver girls spilled around the sides of the dorms and came close to where she stood with Wes.
Similarly, guys came through the gap between the Cedars and the Lodge, talking animatedly to one another. A shout came down from one of the windows behind them.