She rested a hand on his arm and just that simple touch seemed to calm him, steadying something wild and worried deep inside.
“How can I help?”
“You already have,” he said gruffly. “You called an ambulance and had her brought here, which is huge. And it helps to know you’re here.”
Those feelings he had been fighting ever since they first appeared seemed to wash over him, stronger than ever. No question about it. He was falling in love with Jess. She was a calm haven to rest from the storm.
For now, anyway. Until she left town.
This was a really lousy time to realize how far gone he was over her, especially when he knew she was planning to load up her Airstream and drive away from Cape Sanctuary in a few days.
“Are they keeping Eleanor?”
“Yes. At least a day or two for tests. Luz, my friend who is the ER doc, said there is a possibility she might need a temporary pacemaker if her heart rate doesn’t self-regulate.”
“Temporary is good.”
It all seemed overwhelming to him. “I guess. But bottom line, the tests will take time and then they’re admitting her. You don’t have to hang around that whole time.”
“I don’t mind. But if you want, I can pick up Sophie from her friend’s house after school and she and I can go back to Whitaker House and grab some of Eleanor’s things that might make her more comfortable during her stay. Her favorite robe, slippers, that kind of thing.”
“Great idea.”
“What about you?” she asked. “Can I bring you something to eat from the cafeteria before I leave? You might not have a chance to take a break again until they get her settled into a room.”
“I don’t think I could eat right now. But thanks.”
She nodded. “All right. You had better go be with your mom. I’ll be back with Sophie in an hour or so.”
“Thank you.”
Words were inadequate to express his gratitude. Though he knew it wasn’t the smartest idea, he grabbed her in another embrace, needing the strength he found there.
“I don’t know what I would have done without you. I hate to think about Mom being alone for hours on the floor. Or, worse, Sophie finding her there after school.”
“I’m so glad I was there.”
Her arms tightened around him. He didn’t want to let her go but knew he needed to return to his mother’s treatment room.
He lowered his mouth to steal a quick, intense kiss.
She pulled away, looking flustered, her eyes bright and her color high. “I’ll see you later tonight,” she said.
He nodded and turned away to go back to his mother, wishing with all his heart he could have her by his side...and that he could ask her to stay.
35
Jess
Jess pulled away from the hospital, still reeling from all the unspoken emotions of that last kiss.
That look in Nate’s eyes. She had never seen that before, from him or anyone else. As if she was his everything. His sea and his stars and his sky.
She had wanted to stand right there in the emergency department waiting room and savor the feelings.
No. It was impossible.
First, she must have imagined that look. Second, even if it was real—even if it was somehow possible Nate might be developing feelings for her—so what?
She was leaving in only a few days, three at the most. She had another job scheduled soon and more lined up all summer long.
Anyway, she didn’t do relationships. She was happy with her wandering life, never staying in one place long enough to put down roots or build lasting connections. She had left no space in the world she had created for a long-term relationship.
But, oh, if only she had. An ache of longing hit her as she drove, so fierce and hot that she had to grip the steering wheel. Nate was everything she could ever want in a man. Kind, caring, passionate. Each time he kissed her, she only wanted more.
She remembered his sweetness the night before, how he had sat beside her, silently offering steady comfort and strength while she relived that horrible night when her parents had died.
He was the kind of man a woman could count on. Not her, though. She wasn’t cut out for happy-ever-after.
By the time she drove to the address Nate had given her for Sophie’s friend McKenna, she had almost convinced herself that that moment in the waiting room when he had looked at her with heartbreaking tenderness had never even happened.
Almost.
As soon as she pulled up to the house on a quiet street a few blocks from the ocean, Sophie raced out the door, hair flying out behind her, and jumped into the passenger seat.
“How’s Gram?” she demanded. “Dad won’t tell me anything, other than they’re running tests. I want to see her.”
“That’s all we know right now. Those tests all take time to get results. I’m afraid you can’t see her until they move her out of the emergency department and to a regular room. They only allow one visitor at a time and no minors.”
She had learned that much during her time in the waiting room when she’d heard the receptionist turn others away.
“Maybe they’ve moved her by now. I want to go to the hospital.”
“I’ll take you,” Jess promised. “First you have to give me a minute to say thanks to McKenna’s mom for picking you up, okay?”
Sophie huffed out an impatient breath but nodded. The two of them hurried to the front porch, overflowing with containers of flowers.
Even before she could ring the bell, a woman with short red hair opened the door.
“Hi there. You must be Jess. Rachel’s sister, right?”
That wasn’t the response she expected. “Yes.”
“Sophie told me you were coming. I’m Tess Peterson, McKenna’s mother. I’m on a few charitable boards with Rachel. The library board, Arts and Hearts on the Cape. That kind of thing. I just love that woman. She’ll do anything for anyone. You only have to say the word.”
Maybe that was part of Rachel’s problem. She was so busy trying to take care of the world, she didn’t spend nearly enough time taking care of herself.
“She’s pretty terrific,” Jess said. “Thank you for picking up Sophie.”
“Oh, that was no problem at all. She’s only been here a few moments. It’s good you got here so soon, though. I was having a tough time keeping her from walking to the hospital herself.”
“I want to see my grandma,” Sophie said, unrepentant.
“How is Eleanor? I’ve been so very worried. She’s such a dear.”
“Yes. She is. Doctors are running tests now. I don’t have much more information than that.”
“Well, give her our love. Everyone in town will be pulling for her.”
“I’ll tell her. Thank you again.”
Tess waved her hand. “It’s what we do here in Cape Sanctuary. Tell Nate I’ll bring dinner over one night next week, okay? I’ll be in touch with him to find out what night works best.”
“I’ll do that,” she said, warmed by the woman’s concern.
Cape Sanctuary was a nice place. It was no wonder Rachel loved it here so much. Beautiful scenery and kind people. It made a lovely combination.
“We’re not going to the hospital,” Sophie said as soon as Jess turned toward Whitaker House.
“Not yet. I need your help.”
“Now? We can’t! We have to go see Gram! What if she dies and I’m not there, like I wasn’t there when Grandpa Jack died?”
Her mouth wobbled like she was going to cry and her eyes looked scared. Poor girl! No wonder she was in such a rush.
Jess reached out and grabbed her hand. Sophie’s fingers were trembling.
“Eleanor isn’t going to die,” Jess insisted, praying that was true. “She’s in a good place with caring medical professio
nals who are doing all they can to figure out what’s happening with her. Your grandmother is a tough cookie.”
“I can’t lose her.”
“I know, honey.”
She turned onto the driveway at Whitaker House and pulled up in front of the house. “Eleanor might have to stay in the hospital for a few days, so I need your help.”
“Doing what?”
“You know her better than just about anyone. What are some of the things she might find comforting while she’s in the hospital? What do you think she would like most with her?”
“Besides Charlie? I don’t know.”
“Charlie! I forgot all about him. I left him in his crate when the paramedics came. Poor thing. We had better let him outside.”
“We can take him over to be with Cinder. She always likes his company.”
“Good idea. Since we can’t take Charlie to the hospital, what else do you think your grandmother might like?”
Sophie’s brow furrowed as she considered. “Maybe a picture of Grandpa Jack. She has one by her bed and she’s always looking at that.”
“Great idea. You could also help me find a few of Eleanor’s favorite nightgowns and maybe her robe and slippers.”
She had always found that people functioned better during a crisis if they had a task to distract them. The theory worked in Sophie’s case, too.
At the house, they first took an anxious Charlie down the road and back to exercise him then left him in the fenced backyard at Nate’s house with Cinder for company. The dogs had a dog door leading to the kitchen and plenty of food and water.
“Gram will be okay,” Sophie said, hugging the little dog close. “She has to be.”
Back at the house, Jess and Sophie gathered a pretty flowered robe, two soft nightgowns from her dresser and a pair of pale green slippers as well as Eleanor’s reading glasses, a few toiletries, the mystery novel by the side of her bed and her knitting, just in case. By the time they stowed it in a leather overnight bag they found in the closet, Sophie seemed more calm. As they drove the short distance to the medical center, her anxiety returned.
“I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose Gram. She’s...well, she’s like my mom. I don’t even remember my real mom.”
Jess tried to give her a reassuring smile. “She’s been terrific, hasn’t she?”
Sophie nodded, clutching the overnight bag to her chest. “Do you have a grandmother?” she asked Jess.
She shook her head. “My father’s mother died before I was born. My mother’s mother died when I was about Ava’s age. Five. Maybe six. I only met her once or twice. I just remember that she smelled like roses, gave the best hugs and that my mom cried a lot after she died.”
She had forgotten all about that, coming home from school and finding her mother in tears again. If Roni’s parents hadn’t died, maybe Jess’s mother wouldn’t have been so emotionally needy. Maybe she would have been able to find the strength to leave her abusive husband.
“I don’t remember much about my grandmother. You’re really lucky you’ve had Eleanor all this time.”
“I know.”
Though she knew this was a sore spot, she was also compelled to add, “You’re lucky to have your dad, too. He’s been really worried about you. Maybe it’s time you gave him a break.”
Sophie looked out the window. “It’s not that easy. He lied to me and I don’t think I can ever forgive him.”
Jess jerked her gaze from the road. Sophie had told her Nate lied to her but she had an even harder time believing this now than she had then. He struck her as scrupulously honest.
“Your dad is a good man. I’m sure you simply misunderstood something he said.”
“I didn’t misunderstand,” Sophie said bitterly. “I heard him clear as day.”
She shouldn’t get involved. This was between Nate and Sophie. But if the girl wouldn’t talk to her father about it, maybe Jess could at least get to the core of the issue and point Nate in that direction.
“What did he lie about?” she finally asked.
“My whole life has been a lie,” Sophie said, with the kind of drama only a thirteen-year-old girl could manage.
“Could you be more specific?”
Sophie looked out the window. “My mom. Nothing he told me about her was true.”
Jess tensed, not at all certain she wanted to dive into these particular murky waters with Sophie.
She had opened the door, though, and now Sophie didn’t give her any choice.
“All my life, he’s been telling me how great my mom was and how much she loved me and what a hero she was. None of it was true.”
“You don’t think your mother loved you?” she asked carefully.
“No. How could she have? If she loved me, she would have stayed with me instead of choosing to go with the army to such a dangerous place where she would end up killed.”
“Your mother had an obligation to her unit. She signed up to serve. She couldn’t just walk away.”
“She could have, though. She could have deferred her deployment until I was older if she wanted to. She didn’t want to. She chose to go after she had me. She could have stayed with my dad and me, but she didn’t want to.”
“How do you know that?”
“I heard my dad and grandma talking about it a month ago. They were outside on our patio talking, but my window was open and I heard the whole thing.”
That must have been the trigger for the new tension between Sophie and her father, one overheard conversation.
Jess couldn’t completely blame Sophie. She knew what it felt like to be abandoned. Left behind. First by her mother, then by Rachel. It formed a deep wound that didn’t readily heal.
“He should have told me what really happened instead of letting me believe all these years that she cared about me,” Sophie said, sounding distressed. “Why did he have to lie? I don’t know if I can ever forgive him.”
She shouldn’t get involved in this discussion, she should leave it to Nate and Eleanor. It wasn’t Jess’s business what Sophie thought about her father.
But she couldn’t stay quiet, not when she found it grossly unfair that Sophie was blaming her father for her mother’s choices.
“Let me get this straight. You overheard a conversation about how your mother made the difficult choice to go back to her unit after you were born.”
“She should have stayed. What kind of woman leaves a baby who is only three months old if she doesn’t have to?”
“It’s not that simple, Sophie. Your mother faced an impossible choice. I’m sure she did what she thought best at the time.”
“It wasn’t best,” Sophie muttered. “Not for me.”
“She couldn’t know she would die over there.”
“She knew it was dangerous.”
“I’m sure she missed you every single day she was there. And she would have tried her best to come home to you safe and sound if she could.”
Sophie looked doubtful.
“That’s not really the point, is it? Let’s talk about your father. The one you’re so mad at right now. It seems like you’ve forgotten that he is the one who stepped up to take care of you?”
Sophie frowned. “Only because he had no choice.”
“He had plenty of choices. He could have left you with his mother. He could have put you in the care of someone else. Instead, he was here, day in and day out. He gave up his own military career to come back to Cape Sanctuary and take care of you.”
“And lied to me about my mom the whole time! He always told me she had to go, not that she chose to go.”
Oh, to have the clear-cut, no-exceptions logic of youth, who saw no room for gray.
“Your dad let you believe a story that might not have been completely true about your mother, probably to protect you from feeling exa
ctly like you’re feeling right now. And you’re somehow mad about that?”
Sophie frowned. “He should have told me the truth. They were even talking about getting a divorce! He never told me that. But then my mom died. That’s what he and Gram were talking about.”
“Why did you need to know that? Think about it, Sophie. Why does any of that matter? How does it change the wonderful family you and your dad and your grandma Eleanor and grandpa Jack created?”
Sophie looked uncertain, then jutted out her chin as Jess pulled into the hospital parking lot. “I had the right to know the truth instead of believing a big lie all this time.”
She did remember what it was to be thirteen and so certain the world was as unambiguous as Sophie thought, without the nuances one discovered later in life. That gave her a little sympathy for the girl but she still wasn’t letting her off the hook.
“So your father didn’t tell you everything about your mom. Okay. Be mad about it. Stomp your feet and slam doors if you want. But don’t you forget for a moment that your father is a good man who loves you dearly and wants everything wonderful for you. He left his own military career to bring you back here to Cape Sanctuary with his mother so you could have the kind of nurturing love in your life your own mom wasn’t able to provide at the time. Don’t take your hurt and disappointment out on him. He doesn’t deserve it simply for trying to protect you.”
Okay, maybe she spoke a little more passionately than she intended. When she stopped speaking, Sophie stared at her for several heartbeats, then shook her head.
“Wow. You’re really crazy about my dad, aren’t you?”
Jess swallowed, feeling her face go hot. She hoped Sophie couldn’t see it.
“Don’t be silly,” she muttered, pulling the keys out of the ignition. “This has nothing to do with how I do or don’t feel about your father. It’s about you.”
She faced the girl, and on impulse decided this was a moment that demanded raw honesty.
“I would have gladly sacrificed anything to have a dad who loved me and my sister a tiny percentage as much as your dad loves you.”
The Path to Sunshine Cove Page 25