“Herm and Warren wouldn’t let me in,” I explained. “So I…”
“I did it,” Zach said, not understanding the relationship between Baba Yaga and me. “Zelda did nothing. None of this was her idea. If a punishment is to be handed down, it belongs to me.”
“Is that so?” Baba Yaga asked, squinting at the two of us.
“No,” I said.
“Yes,” Zach insisted, giving me a shut your mouth look.
Baba Yaga clapped her hands together and laughed. “Goddess, this is delightful.”
Zach was confused, but I was used to her. However, since she was here… “Judith sold Zach as a baby and cast a spell on him tying his life to a fucking psycho. I need to know the spell so I can reverse it. My mother won’t tell me.”
“Is the profanity necessary?” Baba Yaga asked giving me a pointed look.
“My sister’s language is fucking fine,” Zach growled, standing up for me again.
Goddess, I loved having a brother.
Putting my hand on his arm, I smiled and gave him a squeeze. “It’s okay. Baba loves me and I love her. She just hates my foul mouth. It’s okay, Zach.”
“I think your foul mouth is fucking fantastic,” Zach shot back with a quick defiant glance to Baba Yaga.
“Wonderful,” Baba Yaga said with an eye roll that beat Zach’s earlier winner hands down. “Now there are two of you.”
“Yes. Hopefully,” I told her. “I need the egg donor to stop lying and tell me the spell she cast.”
“I’ve already heard the story from Mac, Jeeves and Sassy,” Baba Yaga said, turning her attention to my mother. “Judith?”
“Yes?”
“A request has been made. I’d suggest you comply with the wishes of the children you didn’t deserve to be blessed with. If you don’t, things will become quite unpleasant for you.”
“I cast no spell,” Judith repeated as if on autopilot.
Baba Yaga growled and the room immediately filled with her minions—even Warren and Herm who looked ridiculous. Judith wasn’t as bored with the action anymore.
“I despise repeating myself,” Baba Yaga said as she adjusted her leg warmers and sequined leggings. “What spell did you cast? I’d hate for my boys to have to torture it out of you.”
Judith paled considerably and shook her head. “I cast no spell.”
Zach was reeling and about to lose it. I wasn’t going to let him live with the memory of killing Judith. If it had to be done, I would do it. Zach had lived through enough.
Knocking four minions out of my way, I went to my mother and grabbed her by the hair forcing her to look at me. “You have ruined Zach’s life and you tried to destroy mine,” I said so viciously she had the decency to blanch. And then I went deadly calm. “Forget about being tortured by the bobble-headed dorks. They’ve got nothing on me. I will torture you to the edge of death and then I will heal you. I will do this over and over until you tell me what I want to know. The choice is yours… Mother.”
“I cast no spell,” she repeated staring right at me as if she’d never seen me before. “You’re asking the wrong question.”
WTF? Sassy had seen her cast it… Wait. No, she hadn’t. Sassy saw my mother and Henrietta in the room and then Zach and I fell asleep. She felt Zach’s chemistry change, but she didn’t know why or how. I hated games. I sucked at them, but this was a game of life and death and I was pretty sure I knew the next move.
“Who cast the spell?” I asked, rephrasing my question.
“Henrietta Smith,” Judith said.
Tossing her aside like a rag doll so I didn’t choke her with my own hands, I jerked my head to Baba Yaga. “She lies. Henrietta Smith is a fucking human. She can’t cast a spell that would bind Zach to her for life.”
“Not a witch magic spell,” my mother said from the heap on the floor where she’d landed. “Voodoo.”
Baba Yaga hissed and the room filled with an enchantment so thick, I had to put my hands over my mouth so I didn’t choke. Zach powered his way through the magic and found me. Wrapping his arms around me, he held me tight.
“Remember your promise to me, sister,” he whispered in my ear.
“I can’t kill you,” I choked out.
“You promised,” he said. “If you truly love me, you will end me.”
“What?” Baba Yaga yelled, clapping her hands and dispersing her furious magic. “Who said anything about killing Zach?”
Zach stood tall and pushed me behind him just in case Baba Yaga went for me. He still didn’t get it, which made me adore my brother even more. His magic was evident and he was a seriously powerful warlock. Even the minions appeared taken aback. Baba Yaga just stared at him with a strange expression on her face.
“My sister has promised to end me if we couldn’t reverse the spell,” he said, glaring at Baba and daring her to try and stop us. “If I die, Henrietta dies. There is no other way. If you and your minions could leave the room, I would appreciate it. Leave my mother here. Even if it means nothing to her, she will watch the end result of the game she played with our lives.”
My stomach clenched and I felt light-headed. I did love Zach. He was literally a part of me. And even if he couldn’t admit it or completely understand it, he loved me too. It had been automatic, the moment we’d laid eyes on each other. It was the natural order of things. Our mother would never understand what she had done because she didn’t have it in her to love anyone or anything. But the two beings she gave birth to did know how to love. Maybe that was because Fabio’s blood ran through our veins too.
“Would you be willing to meet our father before I grant your wish?” I asked in a strangled voice as tears clogged my eyes and my throat.
“I have no father, Zelda,” Zach said flatly. “I will never have a father. I only have you. Please tell Willow that I loved her. I have always loved her and that I’m sorry. And Zorro… please take care of him. He’s a beautiful soul.”
Nodding, because no words would pass my trembling lips, I hugged the man who I should have known my whole life. It was so fucking unfair that we’d only been given one day together.
“You people are making me cry,” Baba Yaga complained, swiping at the mascara running down her face. “No one is going to die today. At least no one in this room.”
Zach was having none of it. “You don’t seem to understand me,” he growled at the surprised and impressed Baba Yaga. “The only way to stop Henrietta Smith is to kill her. The only way to kill her is to end my worthless life. I will not let you stand in my way. I don’t give a fuck who you are.”
“That was fabulous!” Baba Yaga squealed as Zach and I stood staring at her in complete confusion.
“Umm… dude,” I said to my mentor and the woman who I considered my real mother. “I think you’ve lost your shit.”
“Not yet,” she said with a wink. “Voodoo is magic—very dark magic. My guess is that this Henrietta is an actual descendant of Marie Laveau.”
“She is,” Zach said, still ready to have a go at the leader of the witches and warlocks if she tried to stop us.
“Then it can be broken,” Baba said with smile. “It can be broken by someone that has dark magic.”
“Holy shit,” I shouted, scaring everyone. “I have never been so fucking happy to have dark magic in my life. I can do this.” And then I froze. “Umm… what do I have to do?”
“What is the opposite of dark?” Baba inquired, seating herself on the back of one of her minions.
“No games,” I snapped.
“It’s the only way,” Baba said. “Play or die.”
“You suck,” I muttered.
“Yes, I’ve been told I’m quite good at it,” she replied, enjoying herself.
I wasn’t even going to tell Zach she was referring to oral skills concerning our father. I’d deal with introducing Zach to Fabio after I figured out how to break the spell.
“Okay. Gross,” I snapped. “Can I have a backup player in this game?”
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“But of course,” she said. “In fact, you will need a second player.”
Turning to Zach, I grinned. “Ready to play charades or some kind of shit like it?”
“Born ready,” Zach said, taking my hand in his and eyeing Baba Yaga with caution. “We’re ready.”
“Opposite of dark?” she said.
“Light,” Zach answered.
“Correct.”
“Opposite of hate?”
“Love,” Zach said.
“Opposite of generous?”
“Greedy,” Zach said without a second of hesitation.
Baba Yaga nodded. “What has been done to Zach was done in greed, hatred and darkness. Voodoo is quite different than the light magic we practice. However, it can be just as strong, but it’s far easier to break its hold.”
“Wanna be more specific?” I asked.
“Where would the fun in that be?” she quipped.
I wanted to smack her and I was damn sure Zach wanted to zap her ass, but we both refrained.
“Hold on to me and don’t let go,” I told Zach and I centered myself and got in touch with both my light and dark powers.
“Come to the wall,” Zach insisted, pulling me over to the far side of the room. “I can get inside your head and help you this way.”
“Whatever you do, don’t fight me,” I said, feeling like my stomach had dropped to my toes.
“What are you going to do?” he asked, looking slightly alarmed.
The truth shall set you free or fuck you for all eternity.
“I have no clue. I’m gonna wing it.” That was the Goddess’s honest truth.
“And this works for you?” Zach asked.
“Eighty-five percent of the time… yes,” I replied.
“And the other fifteen percent?” Zach asked, shaking his head.
“Someone ends up with new genitals,” I told him with a wince.
“May the Goddess be with us,” Zach whispered as he kissed my forehead and took my hands in his. “Go for it, sister.”
I just hoped I wouldn’t let my brother down… or saddle him with boobs.
Chapter Seventeen
Use it or lose it. That was the motto of the moment.
Zach’s hands were warm and strong. We fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. His eyes, identical to mine, were glued to me. His confidence in me was apparent.
With a quick silent prayer to the Goddess for guidance, I let it rip. It was the most important spell I’d ever cast.
Raising my hands high with my brother’s still firmly gripped in my own, I closed my eyes.
Goddess on high, please heed my plea,
Darkness is here and I need the key.
Magic so wrong was long ago set to unfold,
Innocence was shattered when the child was sold.
I beg of you please, this fucked up spell you untie,
I refuse to believe my brother will die
I give my blood and my life to reverse the voodoo,
I believe you set me on this course at the convention of… umm… doodoo.
In your great wisdom, give us a chance,
And if you do this, our lives you’ll enhance.
Oh, and I will try my very best,
To remove the word fucking from any future request.
Zach eyed me for a long moment. I just grinned and shrugged. If my hands were free, I would have flipped him off.
“You wanna add anything?” I asked.
“I do,” he replied.
“Be my guest.”
The room filled with a shimmering magic I’d never felt before. It was familiar to mine, but without the darkness. Golden sparkles rained down from the ceiling. They tickled my nose and mixed with my own magic that swirled around us. It left me breathless and joyful. It felt so right.
Zach’s voice was hesitant. He was clearly rusty. I held my breath and waited.
Goddess above, it’s been a long time,
Long ago I gave up and stopped looking for your sign.
If you can forgive me and find it in your heart,
I’d be truly humbled to get a new start.
Deserve it? Well, I might not
But quoting my sister—it’s worth a fucking shot.
However, if you choose to refuse me today
Away from Zelda I request you stay.
If this spell doesn’t work and things go awry
My twin had promised to help me die.
Love trumps darkness. Love trumps hate.
Please hear our requests and lead us to our true fate.
“So mote it be,” Baba Yaga said with a curt nod of approval.
We stood in silence and waited for something to happen. But nothing happened—at all. At the very least, I’d expected an ass-blasting for both Zach and me for the profanity. Zach looked devastated but resigned. I was ready to start over and try again.
And then….
The walls trembled and the floor shook so hard pictures and mirrors fell from the walls and crashed to the floor. The entire building swayed and I was worried we’d be buried under a big pile of decimated pokey—which would suck all kinds of ass. I really wanted to tuck my babies into bed tonight and then play Princess and the Penis with Mac. Our bedroom would work just as well as the hotel room.
And then in an instant, the rumbling stopped.
Purple and teal crystal bubbles filled the room making it difficult to see.
I wasn’t sure if tricks were being played on my eyes or if I was witnessing something beyond magical. In a glimmering mist, a woman appeared wearing mom jeans, a freakin’ t-shirt and chunky dad sneakers. She was the most horribly dressed and yet exquisitely beautiful being I’d ever seen. She was blurry through the bubbles, but she was definitely real. Or maybe a picture had hit me in the head and I was dreaming.
Tears fell from the woman’s eyes as she took Zach into her arms and held him close. She smoothed the hair away from his face and placed a kiss on his forehead. I extended my hand and reached out to touch her, but as real as she seemed to me, she was also as transparent as the air.
She smiled and winked and a feeling of true peace washed over me. The Goddess had shown herself. I really wanted to offer to take her shopping, but no words would leave my mouth. Plus, insulting her probably wasn’t a good idea. The room was an explosively colorful silent movie. I just hoped the movie would have a happy ending.
Zach writhed in agony and the Goddess held him and comforted him in her strong, loving arms. I watched in awe as a dark mist left his body. The horrible spell floated above him and then disappeared with a sharp crack of lightning as the Goddess waved her hand at the evil that had trapped my brother since the day he was born.
Laying my brother’s exhausted body gently on the floor, the Goddess went to Baba Yaga and kissed her forehead. Baba bowed low to the Goddess and her icky minions did the same. I held my breath as the otherworldly vision approached me. Her smile was the stuff that wonderful dreams were made of.
“Thank you,” I mouthed, since speech was still impossible.
With a nod and a kiss to my forehead she was gone. The bubbles disappeared and there was no trace that she’d even been here. For a brief moment, I wondered if I’d imagined the entire thing because I so wanted my brother to live and be free.
“She really needs a dresser,” Baba Yaga commented as she moved to Zach and helped him to his feet.
“Pot, kettle, black,” I muttered under my breath, referring to Carol’s own horrendous style as I went to help her with my brother.
“It’s gone,” Zach whispered hoarsely, getting to his feet.
“Yes, child it is,” Baba Yaga said. “You are finally free.”
My tears flowed freely as did Zach’s and even Baba Yaga’s. The icky minions quietly left the room. I made sure to reverse the spell I’d cast on Warren and Herm. I knew it wouldn’t make them like me any better, but I didn’t like them either.
Plus, I would have felt just awful if I’d
forgotten and left them like that. They’d deserved what they’d gotten, but I’d noticed that a few of the other bobble-heads had snapped pictures with their phones. The evidence would be preserved and hopefully keep the little fuckers from messing with me.
“Dude?” I said, grinning through my tears at Zach.
“Yes, dude?” he replied with a grin of his own.
“No more Henrietta Smith.”
I could feel his sigh of relief all the way to my toes. It warmed my heart and my… pocket?
“Zelda, you’re on fire,” Baba Yaga said, pointing to my dress.
“What the fu…?” I shouted as I yanked the flaming stick from my pocket and doused the fire with a wiggle of my nose. How had my wand caught on fire? Had some leftover sparkles gotten in my pocket?
Shitshitshit.
I gasped and felt dizzy. I slapped my hand against the wall so I didn’t fall over. I was nauseous and felt a panic seep through my body.
“Willow. Willow is in trouble.”
“Fuck,” Zach ground out, turned away from us and blasted a hole in the wall that was twice the size of the ones I created in the hotel. “Henrietta found them.”
“But she’s dead,” I said, not following.
“Not yet,” Zach said. “She’s aging fast and trying to stay alive by any means. I’m out of here.”
“I’m with you,” I said, grabbing his hand.
And in a blast of identical silver and golden glitter the twins left the building.
We hadn’t said goodbye to our egg donor. Hell, I didn’t even know if she was still in the room and I didn’t care. She was my past—a past I was finally ready to say goodbye to forever. Mac, my babies, my dad, my friends, and now my brother were my future.
However, Willow and Zorro were part of Zach’s future and we needed to make sure there was a happily ever after for all the fairy tale characters.
Chapter Eighteen
The trees in the forest whipped around like an F4 tornado was blowing through. Branches snapped and the gentle giants wailed in agony. The sound hurt my ears and chilled me to the bone. I could smell the blood and I felt the terror. Where the heck were Willow and Zorro?
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