That was only half the truth, however. She told her aunt’s doctor it was unfair and absurd to send for me in such circumstances – I had come at the risk of my own life & that of my servants – he said it was not his doing – he wished Marian not to send for me, but she did it in her fright.16 Four days after her arrival Anne left again, preferring to spend Christmas at Langton Hall with Isabella Norcliffe and her old friends.
MARRIAGE
At Langton Hall on the day after Boxing Day of 1833, Anne received a letter from Ann Walker, who had just returned from Scotland and had gone to Shibden Hall to ask after her. She had spent ten unhappy months with the Sutherlands, fending off the advances of a debt-ridden relative of her brother-in-law who had been the reason for her invitation in the first place. The Sutherlands charged her a thousand pounds for her stay. Ann Walker had learned the hard way that she would never have a relationship in which her fortune did not matter. Of all her dubious suitors, however, the woman among them was her favourite; she had pined over Anne Lister during her time in Scotland. As in the previous autumn, Ann Walker again took the initiative. Knowing Shibden Hall was ruined for Anne Lister, she offered her a home with her. Whilst you are in England I hope you will consider my little cottage as your own. I have plenty of accommodation for your servants, and 2 rooms entirely at your disposal. Aside from that, she asked Anne to accompany her again to Stephen Belcombe, Mariana’s brother, who had taken over his father’s practice in York and also treated depressions.
Anne answered immediately, announcing her arrival at Lidgate for 4 January 1834. While Ann Walker will count each day and hour to my arrival,1 Anne Lister spoke to Stephen Belcombe about her. The previous year, she had seemed to him to have nothing the matter with her but nervousness – if all her fortune could fly away & she had to work for her living, she would be well.2 Arriving at Shibden Hall, Anne spent exactly an hour and ten minutes with her family and then walked through the rain and darkness to Lidgate at ten past nine. Miss W– delighted to see me – looking certainly better in spirits than when I saw her last; but probably this improvement is merely the result of the present pleasure and excitement on seeing me. Dinner (a mutton steak) then tea and coffee – and went upstairs at 11:40. In bed, they talked until four in the morning. She repented having left me. [...] Miss W– talks as if she would be glad to take me – then if I say anything decisive she hesitates. I tell her it is all her money which is in the way. The fact is, she is as she was before, but was determined to get away from the Sutherlands and feels the want of me. [...] I touched her a little but she soon said it exhausted her. I had my drawers on and never tried to get near, knowing that I could not do it well enough. I am weak about her. Oh, that I may get well rid of her.3
For the next eight days, Anne moved into Lidgate. It took them four nights to come together physically again. Goodish touching and pressing last night – she much and long on the amoroso and I had as much kiss as possible with drawers on.4 There was not much more to be had. No touching and grubbling last night and she snored so loud I could not sleep. ‘Why should I be so annoyed?’ said I to myself and resolved to get rid of her as soon as I could. But Ann now wanted to keep Anne and this time seemed quite decided to take me and leave me all for my life and I said then I would do ditto.5
With this proposal of a will, Ann Walker took a large step in Anne Lister’s direction. The latter loved and desired Ann less than ever but needed her money more urgently than before. And so she hoped to take their relationship into the future after all. Ann wanted Stephen Belcombe to treat her, so they left for York on 13 January 1834. The doctor probably understood the way things stood between the two women; he had been friends with Anne for years and she had told him all about the business between Mariana and me – very good friends, but our living together at an end. He seemed surprised & sorry but behaved remarkably well.6 Now he was to cure Ann’s ailments. Her menstruation had stopped for almost a year and she complained of back pain.
Ann rented three rooms on the edge of York, so as to spend several months under the doctor’s care. Before that, for a good week Anne showed her the East Yorkshire countryside of her childhood. Under Dr Belcombe’s regime, Ann walked every day, sketched, learned French, read and wrote Anne such discreet love letters that they might be cried at the market-cross.7 In return, Miss W– had begged me not to write anything particular – not to get ourselves laughed at.8 In reality, though, she longs to see me again – thinks it longer than all the time in Scotland – talks of coming over for 2 or 3 days on the 8th or 10th – if I will let her.9 They were reunited at Ann’s house. During a long grubbling said often we had never done it so well before. I was hot to washing-tub wetness & tired before it was half over. We talked & never slept till five. From then on, they regarded that 10 February 1834 as their wedding day. She agreed it was understood that she was to consider herself as having nobody to please, & being under no authority, but mine.10 She is to give me a ring & I her one in token of our union as confirmed on Monday. Anne got a gold wedding ring, Ann a ring with an onyx, black to symbolize Anne. They planned a later honeymoon in Paris. She will pay and I will make all answer as well as I can.11
Over the next few months, Anne and Ann visited each other in York and Halifax and attempted to improve their marital sex life. No drawers on last night – first time and attempt to get really near her – did not succeed very well, but she seemed tolerably satisfied. Referring to the following night, Ann said it was not quite as well as last night, but I think we shall do in time. She seems very fond of me – is very proper during the day but very sufficiently on the amoroso at night that I (am) really sure I soon shall be satisfied with her and I really hope we shall get on very well together.12 Soon after the beginning of Ann’s treatment in York, her periods returned, which she and Anne regarded as a fortuitous start to their marriage. One good one last night and both asleep directly. Twenty minutes dalliance in the midst of dressing.13 Both of them were relaxing more and more. Looked at her queer and played gently.14
Seven weeks after their wedding, Anne began to let close friends in on their relationship. She and Ann visited the Norcliffes at Langton Hall together. Went to Charlotte for a moment. ‘What did I bring Miss W– for?’ They said she was crazy and she, Charlotte, believed it. Similar talk was heard in Halifax, as Catherine Rawson had told Ann Walker. I merely said ‘No’ – if I had thought her so, should not have taken her there. Having gained an impression of Ann for a day, Charlotte crept into Anne’s room late at night and seemed ashamed of thinking her mad. Anne explained and said I thought of settling with Miss W–. C. N– thought I had better not determine too soon, but take time to let it amalgamate gradually. I said it had already been amalgamating the last eighteen months, and I thought that long enough and I thought I had made up my mind – but begged Charlotte not to name it. Nobody was so much in confidence as she – she thanked me, said she had no idea I knew Miss W– so intimately or would not have said what she did. Anne assumed Charlotte would go straight to Isabella and the Belcombe sisters and tell all. That very night, she woke Ann to tell her they were now established as a couple among her York friends. One last night and ditto this morning.15
17 Shibden Hall before Anne Lister’s alterations, c.1835, lithograph by John Horner, from: Buildings in the Town and Parish of Halifax. Drawn from Nature and on Stone by John Horner, 1835; Calderdale Leisure Services, Libraries Division.
Ann wanted to be open with her doctor but Anne was uncomfortable with the idea because of her special relationship with his sister. I will not tell M– that Miss W– and I are positively engaged – and advised Miss W– not to name it, as she asks my leave to do it, to Steph – say he had better hear it from M– than from Miss W– or me.16 Stephen would not hear anything from Mariana, however, because Anne was deliberately feeding her half-truths in her letters. Do not fancy from all this, I am at all more likely than I allow ‘to fetter myself too soon or too tightly’.17 But Mariana saw through Anne. ‘Dearest Fr
ed, I have received your letter – the die is cast and Mary [i. e. Mariana] must abide by the throw. You at least will be happy.’ [...] Miss W– being at my elbow, put the letter into her hands. But she has no idea of the real state of our former connection – wondered – but I talked all off as well as I could, and she thinks it is merely about as Catherine Rawson will feel about her, Miss W–.18
Although Anne hated living with her father and sister, she could still not imagine living anywhere other than Shibden Hall – especially as she hoped to change the dynamic in her favour with Ann by her side. Aunt Anne gave her blessing to the announcement that Ann Walker would be moving in. To her surprise, her father also made no objection – on the contrary, I could bring no one my father would like better.19
Marian’s reaction too was open and friendly; Anne laughed and asked which would suit me best, M– or Miss W–? She thought the latter – would be more convenient and then agreed with me that she would suit me in every respect the best.20 Starting with Uncle James, who had set the tone quietly but decisively, Anne’s entire family accepted her love for women.
Anne had barely prepared her family for Ann Walker moving into Shibden Hall when the latter questioned the arrangement. ‘Will it be wise to irritate or brave public opinion further just now? For the same reason, ought or can I accept your kind proposition about Shibden?’ Her usual indecision – does she mean to make a fool of me after all? Anne was hurt by Ann’s refusal to take the straight course of shewing our union, or at least compact, to the world, and regarded it as an affront! Does this seem as if she really thought us united in heart and purse?21
Yet she knew it was not only fear of gossip in Halifax but also the state of Shibden Hall that gave Ann pause; true, the house is not worth much altering – should do little or pull it down at once.22 Building a new house was too expensive, however, so Anne called in the architect Thomas Bradley to modernise Shibden Hall and make it look palatial. She wanted Ann Walker to see with her own eyes that Anne was raising her to her level, as she understood it. A road through the Lister wood was to link the house with the new Godley Lane. A lodge was to mark the entrance to the property, for which Anne wanted one of York’s city gates to serve as model. She intended to finance all this using Ann’s money. To gain an overview of Ann’s property and income, Anne employed Ann’s steward Samuel Washington after her own steward had died, so both estates could be managed jointly. That spring Anne bought land on Godley Lane so that one day a pathway would make transport of coal easier to and from the coalmine. Unable to pay even the deposit in full, she assured her contractual partner that Miss W– was at Shibden and would, I was sure, advance what was wanted.23
Ann Walker was too much in love to object. Under significant pressure from Anne, she eventually was quite satisfied to let Lidgate house and land next spring.24 The months with Stephen Belcombe and his family had done her good. He seems now aware of the business between Miss W– and myself.25 On 20 May, Ann’s thirty-first birthday, Anne Lister collected her in York and took her to Richmond in North Yorkshire, where they holidayed for a few days. Two last night & one this morning but not very good ones – we had spoilt them a little by grubbling as we came along in the carriage. In Richmond, they were joined by Ann’s drawing master Mr Brown. They sought out the picturesque Yorkshire Dales for nature studies, and the remarkable sandstone formations at Brimham Rocks. While Ann sketched, Anne went walking. Mr Brown kept himself to himself. Real playing and squeezing and pressing for an hour and a half last night and almost as long this morning. She says she gets fonder & fonder of me and certainly seems to care enough for me now. I think we shall get on very well. Nobody would care for me more or do more for me.26
HONEYMOON
Back in Halifax, they found Aunt Anne in tolerably good health – and set off on their honeymoon. They left in Anne Lister’s travelling carriage on 5 June 1834, accompanied by her new servants George Wood and Eugénie. They drove through the north of France, making many stops along the way, visiting the royal burial sites at St Denis and finally arriving in Paris, where they stayed at the Hôtel de la Terrasse. Anne probably told Ann that she had stayed there with her aunt in 1826, perhaps also mentioning that Mariana Lawton was with them, but she certainly kept Maria Barlow’s fit of jealousy to herself – and the fact that she had tried to convince first Mariana and then Maria in bed that she had only ever loved one of them.
I like Paris so much, I shall really regret leaving it so soon, Ann Walker wrote to Anne Lister senior, addressing her with an affectionate my dear aunt.1 Anne in turn wrote to her aunt about Miss Walker, whom I shall in future call Adny.2 She did not mention how she arrived at that pet name. In her journal, she switched from Miss W– to A–. Anne had seen plenty of Paris over the years, so the two of them went on to Switzerland after only a week. In Geneva, they took a hotel room with a view of the mountains, the lake and the Rhône. ‘Adny’ asked Anne to inform her aunt she is very well, and very happy. I really think she is both. She requires to eat oftener than I do; but we manage very well about this. While Anne skipped lunch, Ann ordered fresh fish from Lake Geneva. Adny has had no tea since leaving Paris, and likes the café au lait very much. Even I myself had no idea she would enjoy travelling so much. She is sure she can ride 30 miles a day over any roads; and, if there was any chance of riding to the top of Mt Blanc, there she would go.3
Ann Walker was a passionate horsewoman, fond of riding a pony along the love path between Shibden Hall and Lightcliffe, for example. Anne Lister preferred to walk but, as with Maria and Jane Barlow, she was happy to put up with riding if it took her into the mountains. From Geneva, they went on to Sallanches, where Eugénie stayed with the carriage and most of the luggage while Anne, Ann and George took mules to Chamonix. From there, they set out on a most agreeable and healthy excursion. [...] These seventeen days upon muleback, making what is called the grand tour of Mont Blanc, have quite cured us both. We have really done great things – people would hardly believe us if we told them. Adny’s strength improved daily; and you can’t think what a nice little traveller she is – always pleased – always right. Via Martigny, they reached the Great St Bernard Pass and spent the night at the hospice. Did Anne tell her wife she had almost been lost in the snow there in 1827? Along the Aosta Valley, they descended to Courmayeur and returned via the Little St Bernard Pass, over snow, and ice, and rocks, and precipices. Such scrambling as nobody ever saw for four-footed animals in England,4 a proud Anne wrote to her aunt. The latter felt very anxious about you, and often think if you do not take more care of yourself than you do in general, it will be as Mr Duffin used to say that your mind would wear your body out.5
Happily back in Geneva, Ann Walker described the downsides of their Alpine excursion to the anxious aunt. Anne has told you our route over the mountains, but she has not given you any description of the magnificent hotels we met with. At Mottets we slept between the cows and the hay loft, and at the village des Ferret there were two rooms, for us, guides, George, and the poor widow with eight children. We thought at first George must sleep at the foot of our bed, but a bed was at last contrived for him in the room with the family and the guides. In our little apartment, which was so low that we could touch the ceiling with our hands when we were in bed, we had two sickly children that cried a great part of the night. The people were very civil and attentive, and we were really very tolerably comfortable, and I assure you these little adventures not only served us to laugh at, at the time, but they made us feel the comfort and value afterwards of a good hotel. I am sure you would have been very much amused if you could have seen us in our mountain scrambles, trudging sometimes almost up to our knees in snow.6
After this adventure, Anne and Ann spent another four weeks travelling through the Dauphiné and Grenoble, the Rhône Valley, Lyon and the Auvergne. In St Etienne – as black and dirty as Low Moor – Anne was interested in the industrialised coalmines. Ann Walker wrote in a letter to Anne Lister senior: We went down one or rather I
should say Anne, for I descended only part of the way. That was enough to come back up so besmeared with black dust, that it was impossible to know the real colour of our skin.7 From then on, Ann did not accompany the untiring Anne on her every excursion; the latter had to climb the Puy de Dôme (1,465 m) at Clermont-Ferrand alone. Finally, they returned to London via Vichy and Paris, and Anne introduced Ann Walker to the dowager Lady Stuart. I was delighted to find my London friends thinking me very wise, and to find Ann’s shyness wearing off amazingly.8 On 28 August they were back in Halifax, having spent almost three months in France and Switzerland.
AT SHIBDEN HALL
In their absence, Samuel Washington had found a tenant for Lidgate for an annual rent of £100 for the length of ten years. Ann had part of her furniture brought over to Shibden Hall, along with her porcelain and all the bottles in her wine cellar. The two moved into a new shared bedroom in Anne’s wing on the top floor; Anne used her old room for writing from then on. The other Listers welcomed Ann Walker very warmly. As in many families, the presence of an outsider had a calming effect on their quarrelling. For Marian, Ann was now one of the family.1 So as not to get on each other’s nerves in the comparatively cramped space, they ran three separate households: Anne and Ann, Jeremy and Marian and the immobile Aunt Anne, each with different mealtimes. In the evenings Anne and Ann would play backgammon in one of the reception rooms; when Anne had enough of losing, she read aloud to her (she making charity baby clothes) from page 17–133 volume I, Niebuhr’s Rome.2 Ann would have liked to have children, a wish Anne regarded as a latent threat to their relationship. Seeing herself as the husband, Anne concealed her menstruation from her wife. No kiss. Had slept in cousin-linen with paper as usual underneath her nightwear. A– never found out that I had cousin.3 To show the outside world they were a respectable couple, Anne rented a pew in the front row at Lightcliffe Church for the two of them.
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