But for the life of me, I couldn’t remember any specific moments before that.
Which was strange. I could remember all sorts of things from months ago, years ago, even my childhood. But I couldn’t remember very much over…what, the last week? I remembered paying my phone bill a while back, but that had been due two weeks ago. Had something vital happened in that period? Something I needed to know right now? Some clue?
“Choices,” I murmured, catching my breath. “We’re looking for—” I cut off abruptly, not wanting to say it out loud in front of all the patrons, but Cain nodded, understanding that I had been about to mention Solomon’s Temple. “The rules said something about choices. Back there in Rome, I made a choice,” I said.
Cain was nodding. “The Spear?” he asked thoughtfully. “Or Nate?”
I thought about it, wondering. “I don’t’ know. It was almost like a dream of what could have been if I became a Shepherd. That it would someday put me on a path against Nate…” I offered hesitantly. Then I shrugged. “What do you think?”
Cain shrugged. “You’re the brains of the operation. I’m just the muscle.”
I thought about that and considered the fact that he might be wrong. “You seemed more clear-headed than me. At least back there. I got wrapped up into the experience. It felt so real…”
Cain frowned. “Maybe because it was about you becoming a Shepherd? The experience had nothing to do with me,” he said, thinking out loud.
“Does that mean we’re going to run into visions of your future, too?” I asked.
He thought about it. “I don’t know. Maybe? But this whole thing seems centered on you. You’re the one who saw the signs leading you to the fountain, not me. I didn’t even believe you, remember?”
“Good point, but you’re here, now. Maybe that’s all that matters.”
Cain shook his head, growing more confident. “I think I’m just here as your support. The first vision also had nothing to do with me.”
I leaned back in my seat, shaking my head. “Well, what the hell do we do next? Do I keep getting new tests? What am I supposed to do to find the Temple? Self-reflection won’t get us anywhere. This isn’t a vision quest. My Spear is different, Cain. That’s not a hallucination. At least, I don’t think it is,” I admitted, wondering if even this moment was some imagined dream.
Cain thought about it. “Maybe it is a vision quest. To hand over Solomon’s Temple seems like the kind of thing that would require a background check.”
“Then why did it just show me a potential future—”
I blinked, cutting off my chain of thought. Was this about me trying to find my purpose? My future path? Did the Temple want to see what kind of person I could become? What kind of person I wanted to become? “The obelisk did say that each quest is tailored to each individual…”
Cain nodded, sipping his coffee.
“But in the moment, I couldn’t remember any of that. It was all so real…”
Cain grew silent, not having an answer for a few moments. “Maybe that is my purpose. To center you…” he offered, but he sounded doubtful. “Maybe you should have taken someone else with you for this, Callie. I’m not exactly a moral compass.”
I grunted, realizing that I was smiling. “I don’t know…maybe you are. Not necessarily moral, but you care for me quite a bit. You want the best for me. You offered to go on this stupid quest to help support me.”
Cain was shaking his head, looking exasperated. I figuratively rolled up my sleeves, feeling more confident in my assessment despite his denial. Time to pull out the big guns.
“I know you, Cain…I’ve seen your heart,” I said softly. He flinched as if I had hit him.
“Yeah?” he asked, lowering his eyes to his coffee. “It’s black. Like my coffee.”
I nodded, reaching my hand out for his. “But it’s there. You really care for me. You really do see me as a sister…”
His scarred hands seemed to shake at the accusation and he didn’t speak. “Just because I care for you doesn’t mean I’m the right one for the job.”
I smiled warmly, squeezing his hand. “You’re all I’ve got, idiot. Do you see a line of people behind me?” I asked him with a stern look.
He grunted, and finally met my eyes. “I’ll try my best, Callie.”
“Good, because my next plan was to poke you with my broken Spear until you agreed.”
He grunted uneasily, not at the threat, but in self-doubt. He took a deep, resigned breath and nodded one time. “If I’m your Plan A and poking me with the Spear is your Plan B, I really hope you’ve got the rest of the alphabet laid out…Sis,” he said, as if testing out the word. I grinned happily. “Now, when do we get to kill some shit? I’m good at that part.”
I scanned the room. I was actually getting tired of this quest, and we had only just begun. Because Cain had a point. I just wanted to fight something directly. No more games. I wanted an enemy, or if we were going to keep playing games, I wanted to know what it was all for.
I didn’t care about the Temple. Not really. I cared about the chance to learn something about my history. About the Seal of Solomon—in order to keep it safe and not let more demons out like I had the first time I wore it.
Solomon’s Temple could have been a broom closet for all I cared. Because if it had answers to those two things, I would have been a happy girl.
I didn’t need a palace or armory of weapons or treasure.
I just wanted this to be over, to at least know for certain this game would give me what I sought. Because if I won and didn’t get those two things, I was liable to burn Solomon’s swanky Temple down to the ground, cooking hot dogs over the smoldering rubble with Cain.
If I got those two things…was I finished? Was that all I wanted? A few answers and then to bow out of the constant fighting, the Demons, the Angels, all of it? Take my ball and go home?
I still didn’t have the answer to that—what I wanted to be. What I wanted to do.
I scanned the room, hoping my anger would draw out Last Breath for disrespecting his sacred game. It didn’t. Neither did any Doors suddenly pop into existence.
I sighed and took a deep breath, focusing on need. Nothing happened. I pulled out the Seal of Solomon and felt everyone in the diner suddenly turn to look at me, all conversation ceasing like they were of one hive mind. Even the faces on the television—a kid’s sing along program of some kind featuring grown men in bright-colored track suits singing with a giant puppet—stared at me as if they could see me. My skin was suddenly crawling.
“Erm, you might want to hurry it up. They look angry,” Cain murmured, his hand slowly shifting to his belt in case they all attacked at once. I focused on need again, not need for the solution to this quest, but the need to learn more about myself, because so far everything seemed to be aimed at teaching me something.
Even if I was a terrible student and hadn’t fully understood the lessons hurled at me.
It was kind of like when you walked into a room and suddenly everyone grew quiet. It was fairly obvious everyone had been talking about you, even if you didn’t know what they had been saying. Yeah. This quest felt like that. The not-so-subtle lessons were the specific rumors floating around about me, and the quest itself was the room of backstabbers.
So, I focused on me—my flaws, my strengths, anything that made me passionate or made me care. And the room transformed into a quicksilver tapestry, the people now like a crowd of life-sized Silver Surfer action figures. And two Doors glowed brightly.
As luck would have it, they led to the restrooms.
Cain grunted, looking back only briefly to follow my line of sight before checking on our fellow patrons again to make sure we weren’t about to be jumped. “We have to choose one?” he asked. “What kind of backwards truck-stop quest for knowledge is this?” he demanded.
I sighed. “Are you familiar with the buddy system?” I asked, standing and holding out my hand, still keeping an eye on the motion
less chrome people watching us.
Cain grunted and let me help him to his feet. “It’s a mystery to us menfolk.”
“Prepare to be enlightened,” I told him, leading him towards the women’s restroom. “Also, you’re not supposed to be in here, so act sneaky,” I added. I placed a palm on the door and felt my hand grow warm. I took a deep breath and pushed.
This time, the door sucked us inside like we had been flushed down a toilet, and I could have sworn I heard maniacal laughter in the distance.
Chapter 31
I opened my eyes to see Cain sitting across from me, sipping a scotch. He looked momentarily startled, sniffing at his drink, but then his eyes settled on Roland Haviar sitting beside him. Roland held a wine glass of blood extended out, awaiting Cain’s glass for a toast.
Cain’s confusion evaporated, and he smiled, clinking glasses. “To another day in the land of the living,” he said, continuing a conversation that I couldn’t quite recall. Maybe I had dozed off again from the pain medication.
Roland turned to me, frowning at my hand. I blinked to realize I held the Spear of Destiny in my fist, propped up as if I anticipated needing it to stoke the fire before us. “You don’t have to carry it around like that, Callie,” my old mentor chuckled. “It’s not like you will ever need it. Hang it on the wall where it belongs. Let everyone see the source of our Salvation. The reason the war never touched us. The only reason we survived when the world broke in two.”
“I know, but I like holding it,” I said, suddenly remembering. I had taken away the Spear of Destiny, refusing to let either the Angels or Demons lay claim to it. I’d used the power of the Spear to make a safe-haven for my friends—a place where the war could not reach us. Beyond our dome of safety was only death and destruction, now.
“I’ll let that joke go. Too easy,” Claire said from the couch beside me, grinning.
I rolled my eyes at my best friend. “Has anyone seen Nate? I wanted to talk with him.”
The room went as silent as a speech at a funeral wake. I frowned, looking over at Roland. His smile had evaporated.
“Nate Temple died twenty years ago, Callie…” Claire said in barely a whisper, frowning at me with a concerned look.
“Oh…right,” I said, frowning in embarrassment.
Because I remembered. Nate had refused to join us, wanting to fight even though there was nothing to win without the Spear in play. Without all the new Horsemen Riding to battle.
But another thought seemed to be hammering at the base of my skull, giving me a headache. I almost felt like I had a fever. I could have sworn I had saved Nate at some point. Back when I had led the Shepherds. But…wait. Hadn’t the Conclave been Demon-possessed? Hadn’t Claire been possessed, too?
They’d wanted me to kill Nate Temple, hadn’t they?
I realized I was breathing faster, sitting up straight in my chair on the verge of a panic attack. Was this some kind of sick joke? Why was I sitting here doing nothing? Where were we? Where was everyone else? All my other friends?
“Wait…that’s not what happened,” I slurred tiredly. “You saw, Cain. You were there.”
“Is she teasing us?” Roland asked Cain. My friend, Cain, stared back at me, his face frozen in shock. But not at my comment, as if something I’d just said had concerned him very deeply. Or…had reminded him of something.
“I…think she’s kidding,” he finally murmured, his forehead furrowed. “We had a long trip back from Rome.”
Claire grunted. “You haven’t left the Den of Ed in years. No one has. Callie can’t even walk!”
I flinched abruptly, each comment striking me like a switch. The Den of Ed…That was a wasteland I had once seen…Why would we live there? I never would have named a place after it.
Cain was blinking rapidly like someone had just asked him to solve a math problem in his head. He locked eyes with me, shaking his head in confusion. “The Den of Ed…” he repeated, testing the foreign words on his tongue. “That’s not right. That can’t be right. Apples…”
I struggled to sit up straighter and almost lost my balance, even though I was seated. I stared down at my legs to find two withered old twigs for all the good they would do me. They were essentially just bone. I began sucking in breaths rapidly, hyperventilating. This wasn’t right. None of this was right. I couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. I began panting harder, shaking my head. “No, no, no, no…”
“Oh, sweetie,” Claire said, sounding heartbroken. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. Without your sacrifice, we would all be dead. Please forgive me,” she pleaded, tucking a blanket over my legs and patting my bony thighs.
I tried to move them—to even make them twitch—and couldn’t. I was gulping air, now, shivering. I had always been a mover—jogging for fun, training with Roland, fighting monsters. I gripped the Spear tighter and it began to crackle.
Roland jumped to his feet. “Easy, Callie. Please give me the Spear. If you break it, our defenses will fail and we’ll be forced to fight!”
I stared up at my old mentor incredulously. “What…the fuck is wrong with you?” I screamed, spittle flying from my mouth. “Of course, we should be fighting!”
Cain was nodding, actually leaning forward interestedly, but Claire and Roland looked horrified.
“You robbed everyone, so we wouldn’t have to fight, Callie. Don’t you remember? You brought it all here, taking away the most dangerous artifacts in the world to keep us safe. Took them to the one place they couldn’t get them.” He held up his hands, spinning in a slow circle. “Solomon’s Temple,” he said. “In the Den of Ed.”
Like a pricked bubble, I gasped. Roland looked suddenly relieved. “There, there. Do you remember now?” he asked, smiling compassionately.
I did. I remembered all too clearly. I had robbed Darling and Dear. Robbed Nate Temple. Robbed the Demons and Angels. I had been a thief, and I’d hoarded it all here, in my sanctuary—Solomon’s Temple. I’d invited my friends to come live in safety, and closed the doors on any who refused, naming the land around my palace The Den of Ed.
I’d remembered ignoring those who labeled me traitor, coward, thief, and a liar…
Because I hadn’t wanted to keep fighting, to keep sacrificing friends to a lost cause.
I’d offered them sanctuary. And most had refused. So many had died…
If I had been able to stand, I would have fallen to my knees in disgust of my own inadvertent apathy.
I’d ended the world with my apathy. “They’re all dead…” I rasped, blinking back tears.
Roland nodded sadly, and I heard Claire sniffle. “You tried to tell them, but they wouldn’t listen. Their loss. We don’t need them.” Claire nodded her agreement to Roland’s claim.
I studied the two, shaking in disbelief. “You have it backwards…They. Needed. US!” I shrieked.
Cain’s lips were pulled back in a snarl, not even seeming to be aware of it. I ignored Roland and Claire, and locked eyes with Cain. He nodded subtly.
“Now look what you’ve done,” he abruptly snapped, jumping to his feet. He glared at both Roland and Claire. “You’ve startled her half to death! You know how she is on her bad days. How much her sacrifice cost her, not just physically, but emotionally! Go get her some tea. Now.”
Claire and Roland winced in unison, apologizing profusely. Then Claire bolted from the room as if afraid Cain might chase her with a switch.
Cain rounded on Roland. “Go get her a warmer blanket and tell that infernal screaming to pipe the fuck down!”
Roland had taken two steps before Cain even finished speaking, but my mentor froze at the last comment. He slowly craned his neck to glance back at Cain from over his shoulder, frowning. “What are you talking about? I don’t hear any screaming.”
Cain didn’t miss a beat. “Thought I heard someone shouting in the background. Never mind. It’s gone now.”
Roland nodded uncertainly. “I’ll be right back. Don’t let Call
ie move. You know how stubborn she gets in her fits. She’s liable to try to run out of here and break her legs. Or the Spear. I’ll call the healer to come check on her, and I’ll make sure Claire doubles the pain medication in her tea.” He turned to me with a concerned smile. “We’ll get you some rest and you’ll feel like new in a few minutes.” Before I could scream in panic, he was gone, leaving me alone with Cain.
I struggled to stand, suddenly terrified that he was going to help them put me to sleep. The batty, old protector of this wasteland needed her pain medication doubled. What had I done? Why had they let me do it? Had they been that afraid of war to let me commit such an atrocity?
Cain was suddenly scooping me up and I began beating at him, scratching at his face with my free hand, the large Spear too cumbersome to stab him with from this angle. He didn’t try to stop me, only spoke in a calm, measured voice. “Sister, if you’re in there, I need you to listen up. I see a Silver Door, so I hope you have the Seal handy. Does any of that make sense to you?” he asked, grunting as my fingers scored a sharp line across his cheek.
I froze, staring up at his face from inches away. Silver Doors. That was an escape of some kind, but I couldn’t remember where they led. “Cain? Is that really you?” I whispered.
He smiled. “More or less, no thanks to you,” he admitted, eyes flicking to my bloody nails. “Unless you’re just a crazy old lady who doesn’t remember why a Door is significant…” I let out a sob of relief, pressing my face into his unshaven neck, my entire body shaking.
He patted me on the back reassuringly. “I’m so weak, Cain. And they’re going to drug me. We have to get out of here before they get back!”
I heard steps outside from the hall and tensed. Cain was already moving, spinning me to face a Silver Door with about a dozen locks and bars on it as if it held the Devil himself on the other side. I was terrified of that Door for some reason. I couldn’t remember where it led, or what was on the other side, but I knew it had been a long time since I had fought anything.
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