by Jewel E. Ann
“So I might need a few more to get me by until next week.”
“What’s next week?”
“I’m going back to work, whether anyone thinks I’m ready or not.”
“I’ve seen you shop at Target. You’re ready.”
Fisher nodded while laughing a little. “Exactly.”
“I’ll drop off some puzzles after I get home from work later today.”
“Perfect.”
“Okay.”
We clogged up the sidewalk, people passing us on both sides, as we stood in the middle of it facing each other in our little bubble.
My smile faded. “Rory is going to talk to you about Angie. I don’t know what she’s going to say, but everyone has been asking her to talk to you, to convince you to rethink things with Angie.” My words flew out a mile a minute. In some ways, it didn’t feel like my place to say anything to anyone, yet I couldn’t not say something. “But I think you need to do what’s right for you. It’s not Rory or your family marrying her. It’s you. And…” a pang of guilt tightened my stomach “…Angie is a good person. That doesn’t mean we fall in love with someone just because they’re a good person. I’m just saying, even if she’s scared of it, she deserves honesty. And…” I shrugged “…my opinion should mean nothing to you, so take this with a grain of salt, less than a grain of salt. I think taking a step back and seeing if you can fall in love with her again is a good idea.”
Fisher’s brow wrinkled as he nodded slowly. “Thanks,” he murmured.
I found my tiny grin again and gave it to him. “Bye, Fisher.” I took a step backward, shaking my head as his gaze made a second trip up and down my body.
Oh, Fisher …
We were in trouble, and I think he knew it as well. “Have a good day,” I said.
“I’ll have a good enough day.”
Wink.
Gah! That wink.
Chapter Eleven
Dear Lost Fisherman,
I’m falling in love with you, again. But this time, you’re earning it, even if it’s not your intention. It’s not that I ever fell completely out of love with you. Timing … it really is everything in life. And I still struggle with all the things I was taught to believe. Are our lives predestined? Where does free will play a part? Are destiny and fate real? Or is it merely what we call events in life after we’re willing to acknowledge them, even if we refuse to accept them? I just … don’t know.
In the meantime, keep the smiles and winks coming my way.
Ten across: Seven letters. Clue: Awakening.
Rebirth.
“Hey, Rose. Where’s Rory?” I asked as I set my bag by the entry and slipped off my shoes after work.
Rose glanced back at me from the stove. “She’s having dinner with Fisher. The talk.”
I raised my brows. “Sounds intense.”
“She’s in an awkward position.”
I nodded. Seeing her stirring pasta, I grabbed a jar of sauce and emptied it into a pot. “She should have told his family and even Angie that it’s not her place to tell Fisher what to think or do.”
“Is that your unbiased opinion?” Rose shot me a look.
I smirked. “It’s been five years. I’ve had other boyfriends. Angie asked Fisher to marry her. Why would you think my opinion by this point would be biased?”
“Maybe because you were so easily able to articulate everything that Angie’s feeling. Like you have or are in her shoes. Like you’re in love with a man who doesn’t remember you.”
Keeping my chin down, gaze on the sauce as I stirred it, I shrugged. “Want to know what I think would be incredibly romantic?”
“I don’t know, do I?”
I released a quick laugh. “Probably not, but I’m going to tell you anyway since you’ve managed to keep my and Fisher’s secret all these years.”
“Lucky me. Then do tell. What would be incredibly romantic?”
“A true second-chance romance. Falling in love with the same person twice. Each time, feeling brand new. No memories of the first time. Just … something about that person that makes you fall in love with them. Every. Single. Time.
“That chilling kind of love that maybe does last more than one lifetime. The truest definition of soul mates. If I were Angie, I wouldn’t want to marry Fisher unless he did, in fact, truly fall in love with me again.
“Nothing forced. No timeline. No expectations. Just the butterflies in the stomach and insane giddiness of new love. If Angie loved him the way she claims to love him, she’d see that he’s not the same Fisher. She’d see the subtle changes in his personality. And she’d feel this indescribable excitement at the chance to get to know the new Fisher and fall in love with him all over again.”
Rose turned off the burner and rested her hand on my wrist to stop me from stirring the pasta sauce.
I looked over at her, the lines of concern along her face and the intensity—the concern—in her eyes. “Oh, Reese, you’re going to get hurt.”
On a nervous laugh, I shook my head and continued stirring as her hand dropped to her side. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You didn’t see them. Before his accident, you didn’t see them. They were in love. You can’t be that person, the one who tries to steal another woman’s man.”
“Like you stole my mom?”
She deflated.
I shut off my burner and set the spoon on the small plate as I blew out a long breath. “Rose, I love you. I love you with my mom. And I think things turned out exactly how they were supposed to turn out because you didn’t give up on her. You never thought you were taking something—someone—who wasn’t yours because you knew, you just knew she was, in fact, meant to be with you. What if I know? What if he’s meant to be with me?”
She gave me a sad smile. “What if he’s not?”
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t delusional, just hopeful. “Then he’s not.”
“And you’ll stay out of the way?”
“If he falls in love with her, if he decides to go through with the wedding, then I will stay out of the way.”
“I’m worried you’re going to play unfairly.” Rose frowned.
Coughing on a laugh, I shook my head. “It’s not a game, Rose. It’s real life. I don’t even know how I could play unfairly. I’m not the one living with him. I’m not the one sleeping in his bed. I haven’t told him that we were more than friends, more than employee/employer because I want him to fall in love with me, not a bunch of memories of an eighteen-year-old girl.” There. I said the quiet part aloud. I wanted Fisher Mann to fall in love with me … again.
Angie gave him her whole damn body, a million photos, a million memories and stories of life since they were kids. I was a huge underdog. All I gave him was cruciverbalist. So if that trumped everything Angie gave him, then I thought everyone needed to back the hell off and let the two geeky word peeps have our happily ever after.
If …
I knew it was a big if. An unlikely if. Maybe even an impossible if.
But here was the thing (it was an important thing), if a fifty-micrometer sperm could join with a point-one millimeter egg and result in an entire human being, then two cruciverbalists could fall in love … twice.
“It might be time to tell Rory.”
I shook my head. “There’s nothing to tell. The past is the past. And here in the present, there’s still nothing to tell. But if anything changes and becomes something to tell, I will tell Rory.”
“You promise?”
“Promise. Now, let’s eat. I have to take some crossword puzzles over to Fisher tonight, after Rory gets home, of course.”
“Reese …” Rose shook her head and rolled her eyes.
I grinned and shrugged. “Hey, he asked me to bring him more puzzles. No big deal.”
“Angie packed a bag and has decided to stay with a friend. I think you visiting her fiancé will feel like a big deal.”
“Well, then we won’t tell her because th
ey’re puzzles, not nude photos of me. I’m saving the nude photos for closer to Christmas.”
“Reese!” She playfully punched my arm as I giggled.
“How’d it go?” Rose asked the second Rory walked through the door.
I glanced up from my book, one of many books on birth Holly gave me to read.
“Dinner was great. Just me and my friend Fisher, enjoying pizza and beer. I talked. He listened. And he didn’t seem the least bit surprised by anything I said. I’m sure he’s been anticipating it since everyone else has talked with him already.” She set her purse on the counter and plopped onto the sofa next to Rose, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “He wasn’t angry. I think he’s trying to put himself in Angie’s shoes. I really do. But it doesn’t change his feelings. And right now, she’s a stranger. He thinks he enjoys spending time with her, but he also wants time to himself. I think she’s still too much of a stranger to him to have her there so much. He wants space and time. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s the groom in an arranged marriage. Fisher wants to fall in love with his wife before he marries her.” Rory shrugged. “And I can’t blame him. He’s having dinner—a date—with Angie this Friday night. So he’s trying. He wants to date her. I say … let them date. Let things happen naturally.”
I nodded slowly with a tight grin. Rose gave me a quick evil glare in return. When Rory glanced at her phone, head down, I stuck my tongue out at Rose. She had to bite her lips together to keep from laughing.
“Well, if Fisher’s home, I’m going to run these crossword puzzles over to him before I crash for the night. He asked for more. Isn’t that crazy?” I closed my book and stood.
“That is crazy. But I love that you have someone working on your puzzles.” Rory smiled.
“I do.” I smiled back, ignoring distrusting Rose. “See ya after a bit.”
Since it was getting late, I drove to Fisher’s house instead of walking there. I may have also added a little makeup in the car and a dab of perfume to make up for the rest of my casual attire, jeans and a hoodie. I wouldn’t have gotten away with anything dressier, not with Rose silently rooting for Team Angie.
“It’s late. I assumed you weren’t coming,” Fisher said when he opened the front door. I stole a silent moment to take him in—always sexy in jeans and a tee. That messy, dark blond hair. The beard I trimmed for him.
“Rose told me you were having dinner with my mom, so I waited until she got home. If it’s too late, I’ll just give you these…” I handed him the pile of puzzles “…and head home.”
“Too late for what? My roommate moved out. I’m officially free.”
I frowned, following him into the house. “I heard Angie’s staying with a friend while you date her. Big Friday night plans?”
He gestured to the sofa, and I sat in the middle while he took a seat in his recliner. “I don’t know. What should we do? Dinner and movie? Just dinner? Do I bring her back here? Or is that too weird since I asked her to move out?”
“You don’t remember the woman you’re engaged to. I think worrying about weird at this point is an afterthought. Do whatever feels right.”
Fisher ran his hands through his hair. “Ugh … I don’t know what feels right because I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about her.”
“It’s not about what you’re supposed to feel about her. Ask yourself how you honestly do feel about her. Let that be your starting point. I think you’ve already done that to some degree. I’m sure it wasn’t your family’s idea for her to move out and the two of you date. That was you. Go with that voice.”
“It’s hard to go with that voice because I do have this other voice in my head, the one that tries to put myself in her shoes. I’m sure I would be really messed-up if I loved someone and they didn’t remember me. I don’t think I could just walk away without a fight.”
Pulling my feet up and crisscrossing them, I formulated my response. He had no idea I was trying to see if I fit into his equation. “I couldn’t …” I smiled softly. “I couldn’t walk away without a fight.”
“You’re so young.” His lips turned into a pleasant smile. “How old are you?”
I chuckled. “What you mean is, how young am I? I’ll be twenty-four soon.”
“So you’re twenty-three.”
My eyes rolled upward. “Yes. I’m twenty-three.”
“And have you ever been in love?”
Oh, Fisher …
My mind immediately jumped back five years to the day on the playground.
“I’m trying so hard…” I whispered, my voice shaky in my chest and wobbly as the words fell from my lips “…trying so hard not to fall in love with you.”
A few breaths later, he whispered back, “I know.”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about him. What happened?”
I laughed and cleared my throat, cleared the pain from the memories. My memories. Fisher didn’t have memories of us. “Bad timing. I was young. And I was trying to figure out some things in my life. He had things in his life figured out quite well. So …” I pulled in a shaky breath and shrugged. “It was just … bad timing.”
“Did he love you back?” Fisher wasn’t the same man. The old Fisher wouldn’t have asked me those questions.
“I think so.” I couldn’t look at him, so I fiddled with the hem to my shirt and kept my gaze on my lap.
“Do you know where he is now? Have you thought about finding him?”
More pain escaped my chest, disguised as laughter while I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Yes, I’ve thought about finding him.”
“And?”
My head inched side to side as I continued to pinch the bridge of my nose. “And I’m not sure he’s ready to be found by me.”
“Why would you say that?”
My gaze lifted slowly to his. “Because he’s found someone else.” My lips fell into a frown as I lifted one shoulder like it was no big deal.
“Married?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Then he’s fair game.”
Barking a laugh, I glanced up at the ceiling again, gathering my hair in one hand and slowly releasing it as I made eye contact with him. “Fisher, you certainly have a liberal view of dating. You’re not married to Angie, but you’re dating her. So would you be okay with another guy making moves on her?”
Fisher shrugged, lips twisted. “If another guy made moves on her and she responded to his moves, then I think I’d have my answer about us.”
“What happened to fighting for what you want?”
“I think fighting for something when you have an actual chance is different than fighting for second place.”
“Stick to building houses, Fisher. I don’t think you have a future in couples counseling.”
“No?” He grinned. “I’m just saying, if you’re still interested in the guy, knock on his door and say, ‘Remember me?’ Then at least you’ll know.”
“And what if he doesn’t remember me?”
“Then he never loved you.”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “Well …” I scratched my chin. “That’s harsh and a little heartbreaking.”
“Life is harsh and heartbreaking.”
I giggled. “Who are you? Because this is not the Fisher Mann I knew. Did your head injury awaken some deep philosophical part of your brain?”
“No.” He stood and stretched his good arm above his head and his casted arm about half the way. His shirt lifted a few inches, revealing his abs.
My gaze stuck like sticky spider fingers, and when I tore it away, after he dropped his arms back to his side, Fisher was looking at me. I felt the deer-in-the-headlights look on my face. His expression was more unexpected. Not the cocky one I remembered. It was more of a curious expression like he was in disbelief that I had been staring at his exposed skin.
That familiar blush crawled up my neck.
“I should go,” I whispered, scrambling to my feet and brushing my hair away from my fac
e.
“Thanks for the puzzles.” His grin held so much satisfaction, his eyes filled with that familiar look he’d given me so many times before.
“You’re welcome.”
My phone vibrated and I pulled it from the pocket of my hoodie. “Oh my gosh … oh my gosh! It’s time.”
“Time for what exactly?”
I glanced up from the screen, eyes wide, smile even wider. “Holly’s client is in labor! I have to go. I’m … I’m going to help deliver a baby. Eek!” I jumped up and down hysterically, and before I realized what was happening, I had my arms thrown around Fisher’s neck, my body still doing its spastic jumping motion.
He rested his good hand on my back and chuckled.
“This is happening!” My hands went from his neck to his face, framing it, and I kissed him. It was quick, but … ugh! It was on. The. Mouth. My excitement completely erased reality just long enough for my brain to fart.
Jumping away from him, my eyes widened even more as I covered my mouth with my hand. “I … oh … shit … I’m so sorry. I … oh … shit. Fisher, I’m …” I shook my head repeatedly.
When the shock dissipated from his face, he grinned. “It’s fine.”
I tucked my phone back into my pocket and turned toward the door. “I have to go. I’m so embarrassed. It was nice knowing ya.” Flying out the door, I hopped into my car and bolted. I couldn’t get miles between us fast enough.
Chapter Twelve
I helped deliver a seven-pound twelve-ounce baby boy after twelve hours of labor. A water birth.
Then two days later, I did the follow up visit with the family to check on the baby and mom. She was glowing.
I focused on work and reading through the books Holly gave me, basically anything to keep from thinking about kissing Fisher. The weekend came and went. Rory and Rose hung out with Fisher on Saturday night, probably to get the scoop on his Friday night date with Angie. They invited me, but I declined, opting to just keep reading, just keep avoiding Fisher for approximately forever.
On Wednesday of the following week, I helped deliver a baby girl. Six pounds, eleven ounces. And perfect.