by Penny Reid
“Ready?” Jethro drawled, drawing my attention to him.
His arms were crossed, and he looked intensely amused, though his smile was small. Somehow, the man had always been able to convey complete ease, confidence, and utter lack of concern in any and all situations by wielding only his small smile. Even while being arrested for grand theft auto. Several times.
“Why’re you doing this, Jethro?” I asked, needing to know. What would compel the oldest Winston brother to help me? The “punk” who’d mistreated his sister and arrested him countless times?
The older man shrugged, almost like he found my question boring. “Oh, you know. I reckoned that watching you squirm might be an entertaining way to spend an evening.”
Chapter 14
*Raquel*
“I think it’s really unfair men or people in the world think you can’t be both – you can’t be a sex symbol and a serious businessperson. Who says I can’t be both?”
Eva Longoria
As far as I could tell, the evening appeared to be a smashing success.
“I need some water. Anyone else want something? Wine?” Sienna spun around her kitchen, her eyes on the cabinets, clearly hunting for something.
“No, thank you.” I shook my head, taking a seat at Sienna’s kitchen table and stretching my toes.
I didn’t want any wine. I still felt a little raw from the conversation gone awry with my mother earlier in the day as well as seeing and kinda kissing Jackson before walking into the jam session with Sienna and Charlotte. I hadn’t meant to kiss Jackson when I’d called him over. I didn’t think he’d begun the conversation expecting to kiss me.
And yet, that’s what happened.
“I’ll have a half glass of whatever red you’ve got open. If nothing is open, I’ll take water. But then I need to grab my kids and go.” Charlotte sat next to me, leaning her elbows on the table.
Sienna had arranged for two sitters to come and watch the seven children—three were Sienna’s, four were Charlotte’s. As it was just past 10:30 PM, all of the kids were currently asleep.
“No. Leave them, Charlotte. Let them sleep. Just spend the night. We have tons of room.” Sienna grabbed a wineglass from a cabinet and poured much more than a half glass of wine. “And look at that. I accidentally poured too much. We don’t waste good wine in this house.”
“Fine. Twist my arm.” Charlotte lifted her hand to accept the heavy pour and sighed. “I am tired. I don’t think I’ve been up this late in twelve years, not since before Kimmy was born. Hey, how do you think it went?”
“Great.” Sienna sent us both a grin. “Really, really great. You two convinced me.”
I sent Charlotte a small smile. “Charlotte made it easy.”
When people had spotted me and Charlotte together, arms linked and laughing, they had appeared taken aback at first. But once Sienna spread it around that Harrison and I were breaking up, and Jackson had gallantly agreed to provide media cover for me—because why else would Jackson kiss me in front of an ATM camera? I mean, come on! We knew it was there the whole time—ruffled feathers had begun to smooth.
“Are you kidding? You made it easy.” She lifted her wineglass toward me. “I forgot we were pretending most of the time.”
I had too. Being around Charlotte was fun. She was just so . . . out there. Over the course of my life, I’d often faked being bold and brash to cover for nervousness or uncertainty. But Charlotte was bold and brash. She was herself. She really seemed to know herself, who she was.
I envied her.
Sienna filled a cup with water, then crossed over to the table to join us. “I don’t think there was much pretending going on tonight, except the line we told about Rae and Jackson being ‘just friends.’”
“Oh, yes. I was hoping this would come up.” Charlotte pushed her wineglass aside and leaned toward me.
I fought the urge to cover my face, shame sweeping through me and making my voice tight. “Charlotte, you are a much better woman than I, helping out your ex after he—”
“Jackson and I were never together, not really.” She flitted her hand through the air. “Yeah, we both wanted the same things, but it never would’ve worked out. He was too much of a boy scout, and he only eats boring food.”
“Boring food?” Sienna lifted an eyebrow.
“Yeah, he’s got some health things and that means he’s real strict with his diet. But it’s not just his food that’s boring. Jackson works all the time—all the time—and he volunteers his time to various do-gooder causes, and he exercises, and he fixes his boat, and that’s it. I feel like, deep down, I knew from the get-go we weren’t right for each other long-term.”
Sienna seemed intrigued. “Then why did you agree to date him in the first place?”
“Like I said, we both wanted the same thing.”
This surprised me. Jackson had said he and Charlotte didn’t want the same things. So I asked, “Which is what? What do you want?”
“I’d like to get remarried, and he said he was looking to settle down. But we didn’t have any spark. I thought, hey, he’s kinda cute, you know? Maybe I just needed to give him some time to woo me. Then maybe I’d feel more than friendly about him. Plus, I’d heard some stories.” She wiggled in her seat, her eyebrows bouncing. “An acquaintance of mine had ‘dated’ him.” She put air quotes around dated.
“What kind of stories?” Sienna propped her chin on tented fingers, fluttering her lashes.
I sank deeper into my seat, dread a wispy, swirling chill. I didn’t want to hear this. But I also did want to hear this. The thing about being around women who were truly bold and brash was that my real nature tended to surface. If you’re keeping score, my nature leans more toward clumsy than confident.
Which is likely why I said, “Campfire stories?
Sienna barked a laugh.
“Uh, no. Bedtime stories.” Charlotte winked, her grin so saucy, I wanted to call it marinara and put a label on it. “According to my friend, Jackson has a really long tongue.”
“What?” Sienna reared back, then looked at me as though to confirm.
I wiped my face of all expression.
She gasped. “Rae!”
“I said nothing.”
“But you knew!”
I shook my head, covering my face. “I do not feel comfortable talking about this.”
“Then I’ll talk about it.” I felt Charlotte nudge her fingertips against my forearm. “Jackson James. He has this—like—ridiculously long tongue. And he knows how to use it.”
Inwardly, I groaned and died a little, thinking about Jackson using his sexy kraken tongue on or with Charlotte, or anyone else but me.
But then she added, “Or so I’ve heard. He was a puritan the whole damn time we dated. I’d held out for months, for a glimpse of that thing. Nothing. Not a single sighting.”
Relief flooded through me. I’m a bad person.
“My friend talked about him like he was this magical fish who grants wishes. Except they’re all sexy wishes. And then, you know, once you’re done, you just throw him back in the ocean. If he’d actually granted any of my wishes, I wouldn’t have thrown him back.”
I winced at the description. Did a group of men exist out there that talked about me this way?
“Like, how long is this tongue?” Sienna sounded totally absorbed.
“Really, really long.” I sighed, then slapped a hand over my mouth, an ope! slipping out.
I stared at Charlotte. She stared at me.
And then she laughed. “Oh dear me! You naughty, naughty woman. Now you have to tell us everything.”
I shook my head, my hand still covering my mouth.
“No, Rae. No. You can’t stop there.” Sienna wagged her index finger in the air. “That’s like saying you received a fantastic dick pic from a stranger where the balls don’t detract from the image and then never sharing it with your girls.”
Charlotte hooted. She hooted. And this made Sienna laugh
hysterically.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t,” I said from behind my hand.
“Well, why not?” Charlotte looked to Sienna, appealing to her. “Don’t tell me you caught feelings for the man after knowing him for—for—” She blinked, frowning at Sienna, then at me. “Wait a minute. Just how long have y’all known each other?”
I crossed my arms on top of the table and lowered my forehead to them, my stomach suddenly hurting.
Sienna whispered, “They slept together at my wedding.”
“We didn’t sleep together!” I groaned. “I mean, yes, we fell asleep. Together. But we didn’t have sex.”
“Then how do you know how long his tongue is?” Charlotte sounded honestly curious.
“Because—ahh! Don’t make me talk about this. Please don’t. I—I don’t want to.”
“I’m beginning to think she has feelings for him,” Sienna whispered again. “Deep feelings.”
“Oh,” Charlotte said, then paused like she was thinking matters over. “Ohhhhh! But what about Harrison?”
“Harrison and I aren’t really together.” Great, Rae. Tell everyone why dontcha? “So that part was true. My relationship with Harrison is toxic, it just also happens to be fake. And it’s not what you think about Jackson.” I sat up, mentally imploring Charlotte not to hate me. “Jackson and I were together—we spent time together—just the one night. I liked him so much. He was just so polite. And patient. And he actually asked me what I wanted. And he asked questions and listened.”
“See, those are the things I wasn’t attracted to.” She shook her head, giving me a sympathetic look. “If I wanted warm affection, I’d get a dog.”
“Except, it didn’t feel warm. Things between us, they felt hot. Even now, every time he looks at me, I feel like I might combust. Or melt. Or evaporate.”
“Nice dialogue, Rae. You should write that down. We should write a script.” Sienna nodded toward me before taking a drink of her water.
Meanwhile, Charlotte was shaking her head, her lips twisted to the side. “Nope. Not me. I think once, we might’ve almost approached tepid? That’s the closest we got to hot. So—” Charlotte set her chin on her palm, her gaze wide and interested “—what happened next?”
“And then I left. And we didn’t talk. We didn’t keep in touch at all,” I said, the words just as sad as I felt. “But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him.”
“For five and a half years?” Her eyebrows flew up. “You’ve been pining for Jackson James for five and a half years?”
“Yes?” I balled my hands into fists.
“Well. Good Lord. That’s a long time.” Charlotte looked to Sienna, clearly wanting to confirm if her assessment of the situation was accurate.
“But I didn’t really know him, did I? He was this—this idea of a guy. Someone who treated me well and didn’t seem to want anything from me except to make me feel good.”
“He made her feel good,” Sienna said, her smile small wistful. Then she stood suddenly. “Just a sec, I need to go check on Jet. I’ll be right back.”
We watched her go, leaving through the kitchen door that led to the living room. Charlotte turned back to me, and I met her gaze, still sending her mental requests not to hate my guts.
“Oh, honey. Relax. I’m not mad at you.”
“You’re not? Because if I were you, I’d want to impale me with a butter knife.”
She chuckled, picking up her wine and taking a sip. “No. Like I said, Jackson and I weren’t suited.” She paused, her eyes drifting over my shoulder. “Maybe when he was younger. He was fun then. Although, he wasn’t looking for anything long term in those days. But I guess, neither was I.”
“You weren’t?”
“No. But I got pregnant. Pregnant girls get married around here. Or at least in my family, twelve years ago, that’s what happened. I married the guy, got pregnant three more times, and he left me, and that is that.”
I wondered at Charlotte and the way she matter-of-factly recounted her past, like she was sharing a recipe rather than painful details.
My mother couldn’t talk about her past with my father. Just thinking about him made her irrationally angry. I cringed, thinking about our call earlier in the day, and shied away from the memory again. I wasn’t ready to think about that yet.
But I did wonder why Charlotte could be so pragmatic and dispassionate about her ex, whereas my mother could not. Maybe the failure of Charlotte’s marriage had played a part? My mother hadn’t married my father. She’d rejected his proposal, not even when her family threatened to cut her off completely would she agree. She’d wanted to live her life on her own terms.
And so she has. . . Huh.
One of the things I loved so much about acting was the potential to inhabit two completely different characters reacting to the same situation. Both Charlotte and my mother had become pregnant unexpectedly. How they’d reacted to it, the choices they’d made, spoke volumes about who they were. I couldn’t say one reaction was better or more valid than the other.
They were simply choices. And those choices ended up defining a life.
I want to be Charlotte’s friend.
“What?” Her eyes cut to me and then away. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Ask her.
Can it be that easy?
You asked Jackson for a night together and he gave you a kiss you will treasure until the end of your days. Ask for what you want, Rae.
“Charlotte.” I reached for her hand. “I want us to be friends. I don’t have many friends. I’m not great at making friends. I don’t want to pretend with you. Will you be my friend?”
“Of course.” She turned her hand palm up and squeezed mine. “I thought we were friends. Or starting to be.”
I huffed out a grateful breath, leaning closer to her. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being wonderful. And real.”
“Honey, I don’t know how else to be.”
I chuckled, and so did she, and that’s how Sienna found us, gazing into each other’s eyes with mutual like.
“Oh no. Does this mean you, Charlotte, and Jackson are having a three-way?”
“Ew!” Charlotte wrinkled her nose, but then her eyes narrowed. “Now wait a minute—”
Both Sienna and I busted out laughing, and I knew my face had turned bright red.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s not you, it’s me,” Charlotte said, not quite making eye contact, and—unbelievably—her cheeks had turned a little pink. “A three-way is too many arms and legs. It would remind me too much of playing Twister with my kids. What I want, what I need, is someone’s undivided attention.”
“Here, here!” Sienna raised her glass of water, clinking it against Charlotte’s wine. “I’m starting to feel similarly about working with these big studios. It’s like, someone is getting fucked, and it feels like it’s always me.”
“Oh no. What happened?” I straightened in my seat.
“I just got a text that Paratune Studios pulled out. See? It even sounds like a shitty three-way. Anyway, they pulled out, and now I have to find a new home for my next script.”
“You should just start your own studio, Sienna.” Charlotte took a gulp of her wine.
Sienna snorted. “I know, right? Then I wouldn’t have to deal with making films by committee. That sounds like heaven.”
“How would that even work?” Charlotte leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms. “Do you need a license?”
“A lot of money, clout, and contacts,” I said dryly. “And investors, so you diversify your risk. Also, a good sense of what’s on trend, what’s making money.”
“Is there much overhead? With your own company?” Charlotte asked.
“No. There doesn’t have to be,” I said. “I’ve seen production companies that were just two people and a small office in Beverly Hills. The producer and the admin, that’s it. Everyone else is hired on a p
roject-by-project basis as contractors, or for a percentage of the profit.”
Charlotte pointed at Sienna. “You can do that. You got money, clout, and connections. And I’m sure finding investors wouldn’t be a problem. Heck, you got an investor sitting right here.” Charlotte shifted her finger from Sienna to me.
“That’s . . . true . . .” Sienna frowned at Charlotte, her gaze moving to the wall behind her. “Wait. Wait a minute.”
Charlotte and I traded a quick look. She couldn’t possibly—
“Oh my God, Charlotte!” Sienna half stood, reached across the table, grabbed Charlotte’s face, and kissed her right on the mouth. “Charlotte, yes! Yes.” Sitting again, she smacked the table. “Yes, that’s exactly right. That’s exactly what I should do.”
“What is the commotion?” Jethro popped his head in. “We got sleeping kids upstairs.”
“Sorry!” Sienna winced.
“Are y’all okay?”
“Yes. But I kissed Charlotte.”
“Well. I’m sorry I missed that,” he said, sounding and looking sincere.
Charlotte laughed, covering her eyes. Once more, her cheeks had burned pink. Interesting.
Sienna jumped up and skipped over to her husband. “Guess what?”
“You want another baby?” He stood straighter. “’Cause, if so, we should go upstairs. The kitchen is occupied.” He moved like he was going to leave and take her with him.
“No!” She laughed, hitting his shoulder lightly. “I’m starting my own production company. No more business meetings picking apart my scripts. All my movies will be made and managed by me from now on.”
“Oh. That’s great.” Grinning widely—and looking at his wife like he was absolutely crazy about her, like she was magic—he pulled her forward by the hips and kissed her, just once. It was a congratulations-for-being-wonderful kiss, and the sight made my heart ache so much, my palm reflexively lifted to press against my chest.
“It is great!” Sienna beamed.