Can't Forget: If she can't forget her past, she won't have a future. (Solum Series Book 2)

by Colleen S. Myers

“Same, it nearly killed me when I thought you died. I emptied myself of magic trying to hurt them, but it weakened me too much. They had me.” My eyes squeezed shut. I let my legs drop, and my feet touched the floor. “Xade took me back, but Finn distracted them so I could get away. I had fallen from one of these bad boys before and lived, so I jumped. They still have Finn. He wouldn’t let them have me.” I blinked and glanced over his shoulder at Hana. “How is everyone?”

  “Edd died.” Her eyes welled up.

  Oh no, I held out my hand. Hana came over and grasped it. Zanth put his arm around her waist. “I am so sorry, Hana. How is Jace?” I said.

  “Jace is hurt but recovering. Bob was wounded. He… lost his arm.”

  Not Giggy with his big lovable untidiness? God. “What about everyone else. Ute, Thorn?”

  “We are unsure about a few of them. We lost Baren, some of the Naen clan. Near is missing, Yann died. Thorn made it, but his leg is badly injured. We have had a lot of losses, but we survived. You eliminated most of the E’mani ships with your lightning.”

  I braced my head on Marin’s shoulder, breathing him in. So many gone, hurt. I lifted my gaze. He was staring down at me. His lips met my own, his taste flooding me. Male, Marin, Mine. My man. I carded through his hair pulling his head closer as I stretched to reach him and nuzzled his ear. He shuddered and squeezed me tight.

  Hana sniffed, and Zanth put a hand on her shoulder.

  “I want to know where they took Finn. He was a target just as I was. They took him back to some of the older labs. We need to start searching for them. I fear what Xade has planned.” I rested against Marin, taking what comfort I could.

  That will be our goal. In a little bit. I couldn’t face a fight right now. We needed to regroup, help our wounded and regain our equilibrium. Then focus on how much of a blow we had given them and what it will mean.

  I stepped forward. “Where is Rael? We should head back.”

  “He is outside on patrol.” Marin grit his teeth. “He did not tell us you survived. He popped into town this morning and started patrols. He seemed to be taking the thought of your death a little too well, so we came to investigate.”

  I snuffled, cuddling into his side. “That was probably because, until this morning, he didn’t know if I would survive. The tube is the only thing that saved me. Don’t be too harsh with him. He took me to the right spot.” I breathed in. “Let’s go home.”

  Marin kissed the top of my head. “Yes.”

  It was a couple of miles back to camp. The air was well patrolled, and we took our time. No one talked and all I wanted was to get Marin alone. Marin was acting his old self again but... I didn’t trust him quite like I did before. I had such confidence in us, such overwhelming faith in the strength of his feelings for me. Now I could feel the cracks in our relationship, and it made me sad. Maybe it would be good for us in the long term. Nothing could survive with such high expectations, but it still hurt, how he’d acted. I understood and yet I didn’t. At the same time, he was the one. He’d always been my choice, even when he doubted it. The thought of him being gone had broken me in a way the E’mani never accomplished.

  When we got back to Center, there were few people around, which was good. I wanted to shower and sleep and think and cuddle with Marin. Tomorrow was soon enough for dealing with everything. The trek back wiped me out.

  I used the washbasin in our room to wipe away some of the grime. Marin helped me with my hair, his fingers soothing on my scalp. I combed out the knots then shooed Marin out so I could wash all over and change. He left but returned a few minutes later with a tray of some fruit and cheese.

  I lounged on the bed watching him clean up as I ate the food he brought. “This cheese tastes funny.”

  “It is supposed to. It is filling. Eat it.”

  “Bleah.” I choked it down. The fruit was better.

  Marin finished cleaning up and crawled into bed next to me. I shoved him back and adjusted him to my liking, my head fit into his shoulder just right. He flipped me onto my side a little more and we twined around each other.

  “Mine.”

  “Yours.”

  I shuddered at the intimacy of his voice in my ear and in my head. I tightened my arms. His lips brushed my neck, making me shiver. I wanted it to go on forever. I traced his arm where the bands had been. Gone now.

  He noted my movement. “What?”

  “What happened to the bands?”

  “Mine fell off sometime during the battle.”

  “I am not sure when mine popped off.” My heart ached. “So they’re gone?”

  “Those bands, yes.”

  “Does this mean we are not mated?”

  “No.” Marin turned me to face him straight on. “The bands were a symbol. Our bond is in here.” He pointed to his chest and then laid his hand against mine. “My anger was foolish. When I thought I lost you, I would have given anything to be with you again. Forgive me?”

  “There was nothing to forgive. I knew you would be angry. And I was wrong to expect you to just forget about it. We needed to talk through everything. I think nearly dying made us both realize that none of that matters. The only thing that is important, is that we love and support each other, come what may.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  His lips met mine, thumb brushing my cheek, breath mingling. The touch was tender, sweet, and perfect. There was more to say, but what we had vowed was enough.

  I was tired. Physically and mentally, and the battle was not won. I didn’t burn for anything anymore, not like I had after the last attack all those months ago, or after Hope died. I felt numb, hollowed out and useless. It made me think of a quote from Earth. In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. I’d been a soldier twice now. Had I learned nothing? I rushed to fight, to kill, and to avenge. What was left?

  My eyes drifted to Marin’s; his were shadowed with exhaustion and the reality of all that had happened. Neither of us was untouched by this war. As I traced his arm again where the bands had been, I realized, in one way or another, we were all remains. And we were all that mattered. The E’mani wanted to destroy that. I would not let them.

  Starting tomorrow.

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