“See, that’s the problem. I don’t know. And neither do you. Just like you think I’m an idiot for waiting for Jackson to realize his feelings, sometimes I think you’re a complete idiot for falling in love with Eli when he’s probably just using you.” She lowers her voice. “For sex.”
“Oh. My. God.” I step away from her, annoyed. Offended.
Devastated.
“See?” Ellie tosses her hands up in the air. “It hurts, huh? I can’t just give up on Jackson, just like you can’t give up on Eli. So stop belittling my relationship with Jackson when yours with Eli isn’t that great either.”
I gape at her, shocked by her outburst, the things she’s saying to me. Like she doesn’t care if she’s hurting my feelings or not.
Though I suppose I didn’t care if I was hurting her feelings either, after everything I just said about Jackson.
“At least I have an actual relationship with Eli,” I say, knowing the exact moment my words crush her soul by the way her eyelids flicker when I say the words actual relationship. God, I’m a total bitch.
Turning, I walk away from her, holding my head up high despite the shitty way I feel. I called Eli a jerk? Well, I’m being a jerk too, stomping all over my best friend’s feelings. What is going on tonight? Why are we all acting like this? It feels like a domino effect. Ryan said what he said to me and it started the dominos falling.
I should go back and apologize to Ellie. Tell her I didn’t mean it, because I didn’t. I so didn’t. I can’t just pop off and say such shitty things like that to her. I’m a terrible friend.
Horrible.
I glance over my shoulder, looking for her, but she’s already gone. I don’t even see her.
I lost her.
Grabbing my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans, I send her a quick text.
I’m so sorry. I’m an asshole. Please forgive me.
But ten minutes go by while I’m walking all over this giant house and smiling at people I don’t know, and still no response from Ellie. She either doesn’t hear or feel her phone, or she’s purposely ignoring me. I’m hopeful it’s the first one, though I guess I can’t blame her if it’s the last one either.
Being a jerk to my best friend isn’t normal. Eli set me off. Crap, this entire week I’ve been set off. Angry at everyone. I don’t like it.
At all.
“Oh God, what are you doing here?”
The aggravated voice belongs to Cami. This night just keeps getting better and better.
“Don’t talk to me,” I snap. I’m this close to breaking completely. I don’t need to add an argument with Cami to the mix.
“Just let me say one thing.” Cami crosses her arms, and I look around for one of her minions, but she’s completely alone. I don’t even see Baylee anywhere. And why is she at this party anyway? Who invited her?
“Spit it out,” I tell her, sounding hostile. I hate this girl so much, I can barely stand looking at her.
“You’re really going to quit the team?” She raises a brow.
“If it keeps me away from you, then yes. I am.” I cross my arms too. “We don’t get along, Cami. That much is clear.”
“It’s just—” She throws her arms up in the air, clearly frustrated. “We’re better with you on the team.”
My mouth drops open. I can’t believe she just said that. “Are you for real right now?”
“I know we don’t get along. I can’t stand you. You can’t stand me. But your stunt team misses you. You’re a great base,” she practically chokes out.
It’s shocking, hearing her offer me compliments. I feel terrible for what happened—more that I let down the team by getting in trouble. I don’t regret hitting Cami at all.
She deserved it.
“I miss them,” I tell her. “And I feel bad for disappointing them. But—I can’t be on a team with you, Cami. It won’t work.”
Cami lifts her chin, her expression blank. “Sure. Okay. Whatever. Your social status will drop, especially because you’re with Eli Bennett, but that’s your choice.”
Her remark tempts me to say something horrible in return, but I keep my mouth shut. Instead, I remain calm as I watch her turn and walk away, relief nearly making me sag. Admitting my feelings about the team—and Cami—was a lot easier than I thought it would be.
Inhaling deeply for strength, I start wandering again, searching for my jerk boyfriend. I spot Eli’s best friend Brenden with that bitchy girlfriend of his wrapped all around him, her face in his like she wants him to see only her.
Annoying.
There’s a girl standing next to them, and she’s watching me with a disgusted look on her face. It takes me a minute, but I eventually put two and two together and realize it’s the same girl who kissed Eli the first time I went to the cabin. At that party, when he was sitting on the tree stump and she was sitting on his lap.
Whoops. I guess I won this time around, even though I’m completely pissed at him.
Tearing my gaze away from hers, I turn and run straight into a solid wall of muscle. I throw my hands out, my palms connecting with soft fabric and warm flesh beneath, and when I look up, I find it’s my very own boyfriend grinning down at me.
His eyes are cloudy. His smile is lopsided. He looks drunk. Or high.
Possibly both.
“I was hoping I would run into you.” He starts laughing at his lame joke.
I take a step back and rest my hands on my hips. “Where have you been?”
His grin fades. “What do you care? You’re the one who left me.”
“Because you were being rude.”
“You came at me kind of aggressively about the dinner thing,” he says.
A sigh leaves me, and I shake my head. “Your brother mentions it like I should already know, and he made me feel stupid, okay? And then I got my feelings hurt when I realized you never mentioned it to me. Like you didn’t want me to go.”
His expression shifts, and his gaze turns almost pleading. “Princess, you gotta understand. My family is…fucked up. Yours is wholesome and perfect and mine is a mess. I don’t want you to see them all together. It’s going to be shitshow. I promise you. You don’t want to be there.”
“My family is definitely not wholesome,” I say firmly. “But I’m grateful that my parents are still together and love each other.”
“Exactly. That’s the point I’m trying to make,” he says, pointing at me. Yeah, he’s definitely had something to drink. And possibly something to smoke too. “That’s why you’re so great, and I’m such a fucking disaster.”
“You’re not a disaster.” I slowly shake my head. “You’re amazing. And I’m not perfect. I make mistakes too. That’s all I keep doing tonight.”
He frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“I yelled at Jackson. I yelled at you. I got in a fight with Ellie. I’m sure she hates me now,” I say miserably.
His gaze turns gentle and he reaches for me, pulling me into his arms and giving me a hug. It’s just what I needed. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. It was a dick move. Jackson even said so.”
“I’m sorry too,” I tell him, resting my hand on his chest. I can feel his heart thundering beneath my palm, and I wonder if he’s nervous. Afraid I might tell him off some more. Who knows? It’s funny, how we’re standing by the entry into the formal dining room, surrounded by all sorts of people, but I don’t even notice them.
I only have eyes for Eli.
“Wait a minute,” I say, just as Eli is dipping his head to kiss me. “Jackson told you what you did was a dick move?”
He laughs and kisses me quickly. “Yeah, he did. Then he took me to his dad’s office and we drank almost an entire bottle of vodka and took a couple of hits off his bong.”
“Eli,” I chastise, because I can, because I always do.
“Ava,” he returns, because deep down, I think he kind of likes it when I talk to him like that.
“Hey.” I grab the front of his sweatshir
t, yanking his head down so we’re face to face. Eye to eye. “I want to go to the dinner tomorrow. I don’t care what happens. I want to be there for you.”
He grimaces. Scrubs his hand over his face like that might sober him up. Good luck with that. “Are you sure you really want to?”
I nod. “I’m your girlfriend, and I want to support you no matter what. I’m not going to judge. I’m not going to freak out if your dad yells or your mom drinks too much. I promise you that.” Reaching up, I touch his cheek, running my thumb over the prickly stubble there. “I love you. Your family won’t scare me away.”
Eli kisses me. Right in front of everyone, he kisses me with tongue and everything. I’m rising up on my tiptoes and chasing his mouth when he finally breaks away, that giant grin appears on his face once more.
“How’d I get so lucky that you’re mine?” he asks, his expression slightly dazed. Like he can’t believe I’m here, saying these things.
“I feel the same exact way about you,” I say, squeezing him tight.
I’m about to kiss him again when I hear someone screech my name and then a tiny body is hurling itself at me, chanting, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” over and over again.
It’s Ellie. And oh God, she’s actually crying.
“Please don’t cry!” I tell her, pulling away from Eli completely, so I can hold my best friend in my arms. “I’m sorry too. I said terrible things to you.”
“I said terrible things to you too! I didn’t mean it.” She sniffs. Hiccups. “I was trying to hurt you.”
“Well, you did.” I smile at her. Smooth her hair out of her eyes. “And I know I hurt you too.”
“Oh you definitely did. You were a total bitch,” she says.
“Right back at you.” I wipe her tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t mean any of it.”
Well, I sort of did because I’m worried about Jackson and how he treats Ellie, but it’s none of my business. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and only offer advice when she asks for it.
But that’s so tough. I want to watch out for her. I don’t want her to get hurt.
“I didn’t mean it either. I know you hated it when Jake accused Eli of all that stuff, so I threw it back in your face,” Ellie says morosely.
“Hey hey, did I just hear my name get dropped?” Eli cozies up to my side, his gaze all for Ellie. “Girl, why you crying? Jackson ain’t worth your tears.”
“Oh shut up,” she mumbles, slapping his chest and making him laugh. “Is he high?” she asks me.
“As a motherfucker,” Eli answers for me, and this time Ellie is the one who’s laughing. “Okay. There ya go, that’s better. No crying allowed. We’re at a party, remember?”
“Is someone actually crying at my party?”
I want to roll my eyes so badly when Jackson makes his approach, but I don’t. Plus, I see the way Ellie’s face brightens, like his appearance just made her day. Week. Month.
Year.
Oh man, she really does like this douchebag.
“Nope,” Eli says. “Ellie isn’t crying at all. Are you, Ellie?”
“Not at all,” Ellie says to my goofy boyfriend with a too wide smile.
“Are we all kissing and making up then?” Jackson glances at me and Eli, before he settles his gaze on Ellie. He’s pretty much eye fucking her in front of us, and she’s eye fucking him right back. “I’m all for it.”
“Don’t you dare—” I start, but Eli covers my mouth with his hand, silencing me.
“Let him flirt. This is progress,” he whisper-hisses.
I glare at Eli with wide eyes, then lick his fingers. He doesn’t react.
He doesn’t remove his hand either. For at least another ten seconds.
“I thought there was no kissing on the first date,” Ellie teases Jackson, her cheeks flushed, her smile pretty much the widest I’ve ever seen it.
“This isn’t a date. This is a party. There are no rules.” He grins. Grabs hold of her hand and yanks her close to him, his arm sneaking around her waist.
And then proceeds to tenderly kiss her lips.
Eli starts making a lot of noise, causing a little scene with his oohs and ahhs. “Holy shit. It’s going down tonight!”
I slug his arm, but that has zero effect in silencing him.
Jackson grins.
And Ellie? It appears Jackson’s sweet kiss just put stars in her eyes.
He’s just made everything ten times worse.
Twenty-Nine
Ava
Earlier this morning I went to my first Saturday school for four hours. Talk about torture. But I was able to finish my math homework I was a little behind on, so I call that a win.
After I got out, I drove straight home and then Mom and I went to Fresno to shop for dresses. We found a couple of options for me to wear to the Bennett family dinner tonight, and while Mom wasn’t a big fan of me wearing the one I’m currently modeling for Ellie via FaceTime, this is the one I’m definitely going to wear.
But I’m afraid it’s a little too scandalous.
“You sure this dress isn’t going to be too much?” I take a step back from where my phone is propped on my desk so Ellie can see the entirety of my outfit. “It’s kind of short.”
“And kind of low cut,” Ellie says critically. “Don’t you think you’ll get cold?”
“Tonight isn’t about me getting too cold, Ellie,” I tell her. “This is about me looking pretty for Eli.”
“Well, if that’s your only goal, he’s definitely going to like it. Trust me.” Her voice is firm.
“Thank you,” I tell her, grateful for her honest opinion.
The dress is white with red and blue delicate flowers scattered all over it. The skirt has three ruffled tiers, and the short sleeves also have ruffles, accented with lace. The neckline dips into a low V, but my boobs are small enough that I’m not falling out of the dress.
I think that’s what Ellie means by me being able to wear it. Oh, and the dress has a similar V in the back. The waist is elastic so I can just slip it on and go, and I feel so pretty, so grown up in this dress. I want to look like Eli’s mature, sweet-natured girlfriend.
Because that’s what I am, damn it.
“How are you doing your hair?” Ellie asks.
“I’m going to curl it, but nothing too structured. I have a cardigan that almost matches the red flowers. I can make it out of the house if I wear that dumb sweater. That way my dad won’t freak out,” I say.
Ellie laughs. “Yeah, your dad is not going to approve of that dress.”
“With a sweater covering it, he’ll be fine.”
“Rebel,” she teases me.
“Who’s the real rebel, hmm? You still haven’t told me what happened between you and Jackson last night after Eli and I left the party,” I tease her.
We stayed at the party for a long time. Eventually we made our way to the backseat of Eli’s car, where we made out for a while. Felt each other up, but our hands were lazy. So were our bodies. Eventually, he fell asleep. So did I. Woke up with a kink in my neck and shook Eli awake so he could drive me home at six in the morning. I snuck into the house to find the house quiet, everyone still asleep, and collapsed into bed. When I woke at ten, it was to my mom coming into my room, startled that I was already home. I played it off by saying Ellie had to work early and she brought me home, and thank God, she didn’t question me.
I feel guilty about all the sneaking around, but it’s the only way I’m able to see Eli. I’m breaking my parents’ trust, but I don’t know how else to do this. How else to spend time with my boyfriend—alone time.
I’m sure I’m not the first teenager to do this. And I won’t be the last.
“Nothing really happened,” Ellie says with a sigh. “He didn’t kiss me again. We talked. For a long time. Jackson is a talker.”
“I bet,” I say sarcastically.
“Hey. Don’t bash him. I’m sure Eli is a sweet talker too.”
“Yeah, bu
t he talked me straight out of my panties pretty fast, unlike Jackson.” I cover my mouth to stifle my laughter, but it’s difficult.
Ellie laughs too. “Truer words were never spoken.”
“Shut up.”
“You said it, not me.” Her laughter dies. “It almost feels like all this talking is like…foreplay. A build up to the main event.”
“I hope so for your sake, or eventually you’re going to end up sexually frustrated,” I say.
“Maybe? I don’t know. He’s so sweet. He says all the right things.”
“Don’t they all?” I plop down on the edge of my bed and mess with the hem of my dress, smoothing out the ruffles. “I don’t want to be negative—”
“Then don’t be,” Ellie interrupts.
I send her a look. “But just, be careful. Don’t give too much of yourself to this guy. He could be all smoke and mirrors, with no actual substance.”
“I’ve always loved illusionists,” Ellie says with a laugh.
“Ha ha, funny.” I roll my eyes and stand, going to my desk so I can pick up my phone. “I’m going to go. I need to start getting ready. Thank you for helping me.”
“Of course. Have fun. I’m sure it’s going to go fabulously!” Ellie says.
We end the call and I go to the full-length mirror that’s propped against my wall, resting my hands on my hips as I turn this way and that, checking out every angle of the dress. I absolutely love it. Not just because it’s super cute, but also because every style of dress at this store has a name, and this one is called…
The Bennett Dress.
If that’s not serendipitous, then I don’t know what is.
I go to my closet and grab the cardigan that I think will match, shrugging it on as I make my way back to the mirror. It matches pretty well, but it’s not perfect. The effect is like trying to throw a dark blanket over a bright and sunny painting. It’s immediately dimmed. Boring. I make a face at my reflection, sticking out my tongue.
The sweater over the dress sucks.
Meant To Be (The Callahans Book 4) Page 25