Giving into the grief, I let Marek push me aside while he, Jules, and Phox surrounded Raegan’s lifeless form. They continued to speak amongst themselves, but I had other plans.
I was going to join my mate one way or another.
Gemma raced toward me with a smile on her face until she saw mine. I didn’t have to open my mouth for her to know what had happened. She crumpled to the ground as I continued forward, relishing in the physical storm my emotions were creating.
There was nothing left in me to comfort anyone else. Gemma was better off on her own.
Even though Malina was dead, the battle continued, but we had the upper hand. Onyx had given us that, though it meant nothing to me any longer.
The closer I made it to the fight, the more set in my decision I had become. Whoever wanted to end me, I’d gladly let them. They’d be doing me a favor while thinking they’d somehow accomplished something great.
You don’t want to do this, a voice sounded in my head.
Assuming it was my subconscious, I ignored it and pressed forward.
I’m warning you, don’t go into that fight.
“Shut up,” I snapped out loud.
Peyton and Finley were there, acting as if they were having the time of their life, regardless of the fact they were covered in blood and cut up from their attackers. They had no clue what had happened, and I realized how true the old saying was that ignorance was bliss.
Fine, we can do this the hard way, the voice spoke again as pain raced up my spine and my body arched forward until I was involuntarily on my hands and knees.
A roar tore from my throat as bones inside me broke. My eyes snapped closed as I embraced the pain, hoping it wouldn’t last long. The quicker it ended, the quicker I would be with Raegan again. I had no idea who was doing what to me, but whatever it was, with the amount of agony I was feeling, it could only mean one thing. Death was coming, and with it, would be relief from my heartache.
You’re about to be really surprised, the voice snickered, and fear raced through me.
If I wasn’t dying, then what the hell was happening?
I’m taking over, so just quit fighting me and everything will go by a lot faster, the voice answered.
Who are you?
I’m Jayce, and we’re about to become well acquainted.
The world around me shook as I transformed from man into something else, something I didn’t want any longer. All the times I wished I could have been Raegan’s equal in every way, and now that she was gone… I just couldn’t handle it.
Stop fighting me, Enzo. We have to go save our girls, Jayce grumbled as the shift finished and he did his best to navigate us back toward Raegan’s body.
What do you mean? I watched her die. The tiniest flicker of hope flared within me as I let the dragon take over, but I tried to ignore it. There had been too many of those moments in the last few hours taken from me and I couldn’t survive being let down again.
Did you forget we’re supernatural and laws of life and death don’t apply to us? It just requires a sacrifice of equal value.
I almost asked what he meant about the sacrifice, but decided I’d find out when we arrived back. Wings flapped at my side, a sleek silver color with random flashes of red that matched Raegan’s perfectly. I tried to focus on that instead of anything else until Jules was at our side.
I’m going to force you to shift back now. It’s going to hurt, but it shouldn’t be as bad as the first change. We don’t have time for me to be gentle.
Just do it, I replied, not at all caring about the pain. Nothing could be worse than what I had been experiencing earlier.
When the shift was complete, I realized I was completely naked, but didn’t really give a damn. Marek held Raegan in his arms, and I had the sudden urge to be the only one holding her tight.
Sloan, a witch I recognized as one of Raegan’s distant family members, approached me. I growled at her when she stood in my way, but it didn’t faze her.
“Nobody wants to see your junk. Let me give you some clothes, and then you can be on your way,” she said.
When I nodded, she placed her hand on my shoulder. Within the blink of an eye, I had on a plain white tee and loose black pants.
She didn’t wait for my thanks, which was good, because my manners were long gone at that point. So, I continued forward and sank down onto the ground, coming in on the middle of a tense conversation.
“She won’t like it,” Jules said.
“Yeah, well, she’s not here to decide, is she?” Marek responded with snark as he brushed Raegan’s hair back with his hand.
“What’s going on?” I asked, wishing my dragon had been more forthcoming with information.
“Marek has a choice to make. As you already know, a Doyen can only be killed by another Doyen. Well, it works the opposite way as well,” Phox said.
“He can bring her back?” I asked for confirmation, because if he could, I didn’t understand why he hadn’t done it already.
“Yes, he can, but it requires him to give up his life force in exchange for Raegan’s,” Jules answered as tears ran down her face.
Raegan had mentioned something about Jules and Marek becoming closer, so I quickly understood her struggle. If they’d been more involved than we realized, Jules was going to have to give up one love for another.
“Are you going to do it?” I asked, because he had to already know. Regardless of how hard the decision was, he likely knew the moment he realized what was happening.
Marek’s eyes met Jules’s, and he nodded ever-so-slightly.
Jules stiffened but didn’t say anything.
“Marek, you know how much I respect you, but we’re running out of time. If Raegan spends too much time in the in-between, she won’t come back the same person,” Phox said.
He nodded and stood, pulling Jules up with him. Their embrace wasn’t something I could watch, because I was selfishly excited to be getting my girl back. Yes, I cared for Marek. He’d been ever-present in our lives for almost a year now, but Raegan would always come before anyone else for me.
Once his goodbyes were said, Marek leaned back down and took Raegan from me. “Tell her how sorry I am. Tell her how much I loved her, please. I need to know that she’ll understand my love for her outshined any other, even if it was only for a short time.”
Tears pricked at my eyes. “She knew, and I’ll remind her, but you need to know she loved you, too.”
A smile played on his lips as he gazed at her. “I knew that the moment she called me Dad.”
Raegan hadn’t filled me in on the specifics of her previous conversation with Marek, but it sounded like it had come at just the right time.
“It’s time, and you need to back up,” Marek said.
With a strength I didn’t know I possessed, I left my mate’s body once more and placed my hand on Marek’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
He nodded. “Just take care of my daughter.”
Chapter 24
Death was a strange thing. I’ve never given it much thought, so when I’d realized it was coming, I decided to just accept my fate, because all that mattered was that Malina would no longer be able to hurt anyone I loved.
The transition from Earth to afterlife was easy. Once my body was done burning up from the overwhelming power that coursed through me, I felt nothing.
Literally nothing.
There was no sadness or happiness or anything in between.
When I arrived wherever it was I ended up, two people greeted me. Two people I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again.
“Mom? Meme?” I stammered, still unfeeling of emotions, but knowing this was a good thing, or so I hoped.
“Hi, baby girl,” my mom cooed, opening her arms to me.
Instinctively, I went to her and held her tight, then did the same to my Meme. “Where are we?” I asked as I glanced around. There was nothing around us. Just pure white floors and walls. No windows or any identifying objects.
> “You’re in the in-between. I’ve been here waiting, and your mother came to collect me,” Meme answered.
“Waiting for what?” I asked.
“To say goodbye.” She smiled, and still, I was so confused. I knew I should have been crying or yelling or something, but I just stood there.
“Aren’t I going with you?” I continued with more questions.
“It’s not your time, yet. Soon, you’ll be pulled back to Earth, and it will be your job to help restore peace between the races, along with watching over Drakken,” Mom answered.
“Drakken doesn’t need my help. They have Marek,” I replied.
Both of them frowned as Mom continued, “Marek won’t be there when you get back, baby girl. He will have traded his life for yours, because it was him who was meant to die today. Not you.”
A few tears fell down my face, but there was still no feeling associated with them. If I could have been anything, I knew I would have been epically pissed off, but this place had taken the ability from me.
“Why do I feel this way? What’s wrong with me?” I asked.
“You don’t belong here. Your emotions haven’t come through, because you haven’t been accepted into the afterlife. You’ll have them back when you return to your body as long as you do so soon,” Meme replied and reached a hand for me. “Dealing with the aftereffects of this battle will not be easy, but everything I owned is now yours, and I want you to live the life you wanted in New Orleans. Don’t worry about us up here. This is how it should be, and we’re happy, so long as you are safe and thriving.”
A flickering of something sparked within me, and my chest pained. It was the first feeling of anything since I became aware of where I was.
Mom and Meme glanced at each other. “It’s almost time,” Mom said.
“Time for what?” I asked, feeling like all I had been doing was asking questions. When the tiniest bit of emotions began to filter back into me, I realized how much I didn’t want to leave.
“You need to go back to Earth. The longer you’re here, the higher risk you may not get your emotions back,” Mom answered.
My head shook as I squeezed my eyes closed.
Love. Sadness. Heartache. Sorrow. Joy.
So many emotions were starting to swirl within me, and I wasn’t sure how to handle them, or if I even understood everything correctly.
“So, you’re telling me that I died and we’re in the in-between, but I’m not allowed to stay? Instead, my dad is going to die so that I can live, and I’ll never get to see any of you again? If that’s the case, then no. I don’t want to go back. It’s not right.”
By then, tears were freely trailing down my face, and I was beginning to get angry.
My mom sighed. “Oh, Raegan. I’m so sorry we didn’t properly prepare you for this life. We thought we were doing right by you when we hid you away. Your dad and I never expected Malina would get free, and we had no idea who your biological father was, but I hope you know how much we love you. Your happiness is most important to us even now.”
“Where is Dad? Why isn’t he here with you two?”
Mom grinned. “You know your dad. He doesn’t do goodbyes well and we’d already said our goodbyes in our own way. He didn’t want to make things worse for you by falling apart in front of you.”
My heart twisted, and more tears fell as I crashed into my mom’s arms. She wound them tight around me and Meme joined in. Suddenly, everything I knew I should have been feeling earlier began to storm inside me.
My body tingled, and I felt the urge to run, but I didn’t know where I was supposed to run to.
Mom pulled back. “We don’t have any more time left, baby girl. It’s time to say goodbye and try to be thankful for this moment. It’s one I have wished for ever since we had to leave you.”
I swiped at my tears, but it was futile. They weren’t going to be stopping anytime soon, so I finally just let them fall.
Mom held my hands, and warmth seeped into my body as I felt her love surround me. “Raegan, I have loved you from the moment you were placed in my arms, and I have always known you were special. You’re going to do great things in this world. Don’t let what Malina has done close off your heart. You have the capacity to love so big, and I promise, the risk is worth it. Don’t worry about us and follow your heart. It will always lead you in the right direction.”
She hugged me once more before passing me to Meme, who wore my favorite smirk. “Your mother has always been better with the mushy stuff than me. I’m pretty sure she got it from her father, because I won’t take any credit for it.”
I snorted through the tears, because there was nothing better than Meme’s crass disposition.
“Anyway, you already know how I feel, but most importantly, I need you to know that nothing you could have done today would have resulted in any better ending. Everything that transpired happened for a reason, and remember, those who are no longer with you are at peace with their decisions.
“I don’t need you pissing me off up here with any ‘woe is me’ crap, you hear? I want to look down on you and see the badass granddaughter I know you can be. Let this battle strengthen you instead of weakening you, because if you don’t, then our deaths won’t mean as much. You don’t want that, right? Of course, you don’t. Now, it’s time for you to go, so give your Meme a hug and run before I decide to never let you go.”
Through a torrential downpour of tears, I told them both how much I loved them, but I doubted they understood the words coming out of my mouth. It didn’t matter, though. I was confident they knew, regardless of shared words.
Finally, I was pushed away, and I did as Meme said. I ran as fast as I could through the white room. The further I moved away from my mom and Meme, the darker my surroundings became and the heavier my muscles were.
Before I knew it, I was lying on the ground and shivering. Voices began to filter through, and hands touched me, but I didn’t respond. I took a moment to take in everything that had happened as I did my best to remember everything about my time in the in-between.
I’d seen my mom again. I’d been able to give her a proper goodbye, along with my Meme. It had been everything I needed, yet my heart still ached, because I knew that as soon as I opened my eyes, nothing was ever going to be the same again.
I did my best to heed Meme’s last words, to not let what transpired dim my outlook on life, but it was hard when I had just begun to accept my parents’ death and let others into my world. Now, some of those people were gone, and everything hurt so damn bad.
“Raegan, can you hear me? Please say something. These tears are killing me,” Enzo whispered into my ear as he laid on the ground with me.
My chest shuddered as I took one more deep breath and opened my eyes. Enzo’s face was the first thing I saw, and the tears in his eyes almost tore my heart out.
He gathered me close and squeezed so tight I couldn’t move my arms to return the gesture. “I thought I had lost you. Having you here now… there are no words other than I love you and I’m never letting you go again.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered into his shoulder as I peeked over, needing to see who else was still with us.
Behind him stood Jules, Gemma, and JayLeigh. All three wore varying expressions of grief, and I felt a strong desire to run as far from their pain as I could.
But I wouldn’t. We had all suffered through this together, and we would find a way back to happiness together, too. I refused to let Malina take anything else away from me, no matter how much it hurt to face things head on.
Enzo finally released me, and I turned around to see what had most of Jules’s attention.
Immediately, I scrambled to my hands and knees, so I could crawl to Marek who was mere inches from me. His hand was outstretched, and I took it in my own, holding it to my heart.
Quietly, I told him everything I wished I could have said and more, though I took some solace in the fact that we had our brief discussion before Ne
w Orleans.
A smile appeared through the tears as I thought about my two dads meeting for the first time, and I pictured the epic tear-fest they would have. For the first time since I learned of his sacrifice, I had some peace with the decision.
Enzo helped me up and guided me toward Jules and Gemma, who both hugged me at the same time. We cried together without words before I pulled away and turned to JayLeigh.
She wasn’t a warm and fuzzy type of person, but I didn’t give a damn. We were all hurting, and she could deal with my hug. She patted me awkwardly on the back before taking a step away and bowing.
“Queen Raegan,” she said, then winked at me.
My head shook. “Too soon, JayLeigh. Way too soon.”
“I know, but all those dragons behind me will be looking for leadership after what they’ve gone through, and you’re going to be the first place they look as Marek’s only heir.”
She had mostly only ever been a pain in my ass, so why I was surprised she continued to be one then was beyond me. I simply nodded and went back to Enzo.
He held me close as we glanced around the battlefield. There was no more fighting. No more screams. Just people standing around, looking as lost as I felt.
So many lives had been lost because of the selfishness of one woman, and my heart began to hurt all over.
“What now?” I asked, because nobody seemed to be intent on moving.
“Now, we pick up the pieces and move forward, and we do it together in hopes of making the future a brighter one for all,” Jules answered as more people came closer.
Peyton, Finley, Lyssa, Headmaster Stone, some of the council, and more. Each of them was bruised and worse off than I had ever seen them, but they were alive, and I tried to focus on that fact.
Jones approached me first out of the group, his head down as he did so. “I’m very sorry for your losses, and I would like to invite you and whoever else you want to stay here as long as you’d like, but more importantly, stay long enough to witness how we do a proper sendoff for those who move on to the other side.”
“I would be honored to stay in New Orleans. Though, we will be staying in Amalia’s home while we’re here if that’s okay.”
Daring Provocation (Shadow Veil Academy Book 3) Page 18