by Maya Daniels
"We could've done this downstairs, you know. There’s more room there for interventions," I tell Daisy.
It's like I've said the magic word. Everyone starts talking at the same time, some yelling, others mumbling, and I'm starting to get a headache.
“Stop!” My voice echoes in the room like I’ve swallowed a megaphone. “First. Philip, you shouldn’t even be in here. You’re human. Everything that happened to you wasn’t enough? You want to get hurt worse or even killed next time? We have no idea what we’re going up against. You should do your best to convince Remi to stay with you and out of this, too!”
As I snap at Philip, I’m pointing a shaky finger accusingly at him. It’s not just my hand that’s shaking, it’s my entire body. The anger and fear for them makes me vibrate inside. Obviously they don’t hate me for what they’ve been through, though, so I guess I’ll have to help them see reason.
“Oh, wow! That’s how low you want to go now, Alexia? Causing problems in my relationship?” Remi looks at me disapprovingly, and I feel like she slapped me.
“Causing problems? What the fuck is wrong with you people? I’m trying to make you see things realistically. So you can stay alive! Or wasn’t seeing him almost killed not enough of a wake-up call for you, sister?” I spit the last word at her.
In my messed-up head, I have it all figured out. If they don’t listen to reason, I’ll say whatever it takes to keep them away from all the horrors I know are coming. Knowing they’re safe and alive is a win-win situation for me, even if I don’t come out of it alive at the end. Somewhere between my outburst downstairs and the time Lucifer carried me to my bedroom, my mind decided I should make sure they’re as far away from everything as possible. Maybe I finally went nuts.
“Stop being so stubborn, Al. Let’s talk this over once and for all so we can move on to more productive things. What do you say?” Daisy’s gentle voice is so reassuring that I almost give in to their silliness.
“There’s nothing to talk about. What I find frustrating is this: you guys all believe this is a discussion. Some crazy idea of transparency or democracy, where we all get a say in things. Well…” I slowly get up and start moving them one by one towards the door. “Let me assure you, it’s not. I feel it in my heart. There will be pain. There will be tears and death. I’ll be damned if it’ll happen to any of you. Not while I’m still kicking.”
By this point they are all in the hallway, apart from Lucifer, and they’re looking at me with frowns on their faces. At the moment I couldn’t care less.
“So go downstairs. Figure out who’s coming to help so we get the potions. That’s all any of you will be helping with. I have a splitting headache, so I need some time to rest. I’ll come down in an hour.” With a thin, strained smile, I close the door in their faces.
“I guess the headache doesn’t count for Lucifer!” Jezzinta yells through the door, and kicks it.
“Oh, he’ll be joining you in a minute, I promise!” I yell so they can hear me, but also to let the angel know I’m not in the mood for lectures.
I hear their footsteps as they stomp away, talking quietly among themselves. They’re upset, but that’s okay. This needs to end, finally, and if they stick around, I have a feeling that things will keep happening to throw us off our endgame. It didn’t occur to me at the beginning that we would be dodging stray crazies instead of going straight for the tablets. I didn’t think it’d be easy by any means, but I certainly didn’t expect what happened. Never what happened. Still facing the door, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
“Say what you need to say, Lucifer.” My voice is barely above whisper.
I feel his energy envelope me and the warmth of his body penetrates my insides before I hear him behind me. Stealthy as a cat. For someone as tall and muscular as he is, he moves like a shadow. You can never know when he’ll sneak up on you. My entire body shivers and goosebumps cover me from head to toe. This is why I avoid him as much as possible. I’m not sure if it’s because he has the ruby containing my soul or it’s just because of my stupid, treacherous hormones that I react like this. I have a sinking suspicion it’s just him. He snuck up under my skin, unsuspected, and made himself comfortable there while I was too busy drowning in guilt and anger. Sneaky, sneaky angel. The longer he stands behind me, not saying a word, the more strongly my body reacts to his proximity. I’m trembling and fighting my body to stay still with sheer will alone. I want to lean back against his chest and let him hold me with such force that my entire body trembles from it, but I stubbornly resist.
“Turn around, Alexia.”
His words come with a gust of warm air, ruffling my hair and making me involuntarily lean back on him. My heartbeat is too loud for my own ears and visible through my shirt. I don’t blame my heart; I want to run and hide, too. Squeezing my fists so hard my nails bite into my palms, I fight myself to stay calm and detached. Good fucking luck with that. I feel his heart on my back beating as crazily as mine, and that freaks me out even more. My breathing gets shallow and labored, and finally my fight-or-flight response kicks in. Just as I pry my nails from my palms so I can reach for the door, his arms surround me, pulling me tighter against his chest, and my legs give out.
“Turn around,” he whispers.
“I can’t,” I mumble but I’m not sure he can hear me. I can’t hear myself from the blood rushing through my ears.
“You cannot, or you don’t want to turn around?” He chuckles nervously and it does stupid things to me.
I know he can feel me trembling. I sure as fuck know that he knows how turned on I am, having him pressed to my body like a second skin. All he has to do is look down and he’ll see my nipples poking out through my shirt. All that being said, I know he loves the fact that he affects me like this even when I fight to hide it. Especially when I try to hide it. I want to move away from him. I want to turn around and press closer, too. I hate myself for not being strong enough to push him away. I don’t need any more hurt. I’ve already had enough to last many lifetimes.
“Turn around.” He tightens his arms and places a feathery kiss on my neck, his hair tickling my face.
I couldn’t stop the low moan for the life of me. That earned me another chuckle, reverberating through my whole body and turning me into Jello.
“Let me go, Lucifer.”
“I will. Turn around,” he says, taking a deep breath that expands his chest and almost lifts me off the ground.
I shift my body slightly, not sure what to do, but that’s enough for him. He turns me around in his arms and I stare at his chest, not daring to lift my head. People usually talk about having butterflies in their stomach in situations like this, but I have a sinking suspicion they never tell the whole truth. If I have butterflies in my stomach right now; they’re drunk and having a rave party, because I feel lightheaded and faint.
“Don’t do this, Lucifer. Please.”
“What exactly am I doing, witch?”
“You’re going to kiss me, and that is one complication I can do without in this lifetime.” The words come rushing out all jumbled up.
“What makes you think I am going to kiss you?” I can hear the amusement in his voice, and my head snaps up so I can look at him.
The moment my eyes connect with his, my entire world shifts on its axis. That moment when you see your own feelings, fears, and desires reflected in the other person’s eyes, your entire existence catches fire. You welcome it—you let it consume you, and nothing else matters but that very moment.
His lips gently brush mine in a feathery kiss, and his hand slides up my neck to cup my face. I don’t even think I’m breathing, but then he pulls me tighter to his body and starts kissing me like I’m the very air he needs to breathe. His tongue glides over and around mine, exploring, claiming, conquering, and all my reasons why this is a bad idea leave the house. And breathing? Who needs to breathe?! It’s definitely overrated! My hands tangle themselves in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to m
e. I want to pull him so close that we merge and become one being. Deep male moans and groans fill my ears as he slides his hand down my back, grabbing my butt and lifting me up against his body. My moans join his and I start clawing on his shoulders, not knowing what I want to do to feel closer, more connected. I feel the door pressing on my back and my legs go around his hips while he grinds his erection on me, almost taking me over the edge. His hands, now free, start exploring my body with such calmness that it defies the urgency of his kisses. Cupping my breasts, he starts pinching, squeezing, pulling and driving me out of my mind with need. I want to feel him pressed against me, skin to skin. Leaving my mouth, he trails kisses down my neck and shoulder and all I can do is hold on and make whimpering noises. Am I’m begging him to stop or hurry up? I start pulling on his shirt. I need it off. I need to touch him. Then a knock on the door makes us both jump away from each other like our touch burned.
“Can you two come downstairs so we talk, please?” Remi’s voice floats loud and clear into the room. “You can continue with the sex later, when we go to bed. I don’t need to hear it.”
I’m still panting, short of breath, and my brain is mush. I got nothing, zip, zilch, nada. Lucifer stands stock still, fists clenched by his sides, puffing short breaths through his teeth like he is about to blow and kill us all in the process. His eyes are fully focused on me like a predator spotting prey, and it doesn’t seem like he heard a word Remi said. That’s when I realize that my skin is prickling like someone is teasing me with low voltage.
“We’ll be there in two seconds, Remi. Go downstairs.” I speak just loud enough for her to hear me. I’m hoping she will hear the warning in my voice as well and go, without smartass remarks. Things can get really fucked up right about now if something triggers the angel. I don’t think he’s aware that it was Remi’s voice that made me jump away from him. He looks like he’s ready to pounce and recapture his prey. To my surprise, she listens to me and I hear her walking away.
“Lucifer, you’re with me, right? I’m not trying to run; Remi startled me when she spoke.” I lift both my hands slowly and speak softly, hoping he actually hears a word I say.
3
Lucifer…
Finally I feel her walls crumbling, and she consciously returns my kiss. I feel I should shout to the Creator so it can hear my victory and acknowledge my perseverance when it comes to the witch. She is like a skittish animal. Not that I can blame her, with all the betrayal she has gone through. I know it will take time, and I have plenty. For hundreds of years that is all I’ve had—time. As her tongue glides and dances with mine, I let go and lose myself in everything that she is. She is mine and she will not be able to deny it any longer. It takes everything I have to keep control of myself and touch her slowly, cautiously, so she doesn’t run. She is good at running. No more. Feeling her legs wrap around me; the warmth coming from her core almost makes me spill like I have never touched a female. She calls to something primal in me. She always has, but I was just not aware how deeply we were connected. There is no escape for her now. I need to feel her, skin to skin, but before I have a chance to start ripping her clothing, she jumps away from me. My body starts shaking, and I fight to keep my power from blowing her and everything else to pieces. My entire focus is on her. She wants to run again. I shall not allow her that freedom. Not any more.
Clenching my fists, I just wait for her to make a move, at which point I will pounce. Doesn’t she understand that there is nowhere she can run from me? I will always find her. She is mine. Through my torment, I see her lips moving like she is saying something but I cannot hear her at all. I finally realize she is not running. Something has happened. Was I so lost that I did not hear it?
“Don’t move, Alexia. Stay where you are, I need a moment.” Through clenched teeth, I squeeze the words out.
She lifts her hands slowly, in a placating gesture, fear in her eyes. Is she afraid of me or she is afraid I will hurt the others? I would never hurt her, especially not now that I know the truth. That is enough to calm me down, and I feel my powers pull back inside me.
“Are we good, Lucifer? You calm? I’m not running, I promise. Remi came to call us downstairs. Didn’t you hear her?”
Her sultry voice penetrates not just my ears but my skin, too. I close my eyes, basking in it. I know she is not aware of the effect she has on me, especially after her rebirth and her merge with Lilith. It is better that she does not. I do not like being controlled… not even by her. Someone was on the other side of the door. Right.
“I shall be fine in a moment. Just do not move.”
“I wouldn’t move if you beg me, with the way you’re looking at me.”
“Come to me.” I tell her.
“Nope. I’m good, thanks. I’ll just stay here until you’re back to your normal self. Ego, attitude and the rest of your holy glory,” she says, annoyed, not realizing how my heart swells when she is stubborn and lets her sharp tongue free.
“Alexia. Come.” I growl at her so she knows it is not a request, doing my best to keep the smirk off my face.
Frowning at me, she slowly starts moving until she is within arm’s reach. I snatch her upper arm and pull her to my chest. I breathe her in. The smell of jasmine and rose calms me enough that my muscles are not as hard as granite. Finally, after few breaths, I am fully under control but I do not tell her. I will hold her for a moment more.
“Do not jump away from me like that again, witch. It is not very smart,” I tell her, burying my nose in her hair.
I feel her shiver in my arms and it makes me smile. She can fight it as much as she wants, but she feels the same way, too. I must proceed with care.
“Can we go now and see what they want?” Pulling back a little, she looks up at me.
“Let us go then, Alexia. Lead the way.” I release her but hold onto her hand.
“You won’t get lost, angel. No need to walk you downstairs, I’m sure.”
She frowns at our joined hands, and I wish to kiss her. I take a deep breath instead. Time. She needs time. I shall remind myself of this often.
“I wish to hold your hand. I did not think you would mind.”
“Whatever. Hold it. Let’s just go and get this shit done once and for all.”
She leads me and I follow, smiling to myself. She is not afraid of me if she uses cuss words. I have come to recognize that when she talks like that, she feels she is amongst her own. I will wear her down. I shall be persistent, determined and, as Daisy advised me, I shall be nice. Especially nice to everyone she holds dear. Alexia likes that. She will see reason and she will see I am part of her destiny. The witch cannot escape me this lifetime. I will make sure of that.
4
Alexia…
Walking into the living room with Lucifer holding my hand like it’s his lifeline, doesn’t go unnoticed. What got me the most was the mixed reactions of everyone present. Apart from the knowing smiles on my friends’ faces, the worry on Daisy’s was something I didn’t expect. I jerk my hand, trying to release him but he will have none of that. His grip tightens and he interlaces our fingers even more, if that was possible. His holding my hand does not worry me. What worries me is how much it feels like home. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world to hold hands with the angel. I’ve never felt like this with anyone, and it’s what scares me the most.
“Okay, let’s get to it,” I say as I walk towards the pillows spread around the center of the room.
“We’ve decided to spread the tasks between us so we can start moving as soon as possible,” Jez says, obviously acting as the bravest of them all.
“Sounds like a good start. So, who does what, exactly?”
“Obviously you, Alexia, with Lucifer and me, will go to retrieve the potions. The rest of the girls will figure out where we’re going next, and the guys can get things prepared so we can leave as soon as we have everything ready.”
“I think I was pretty clear, Jez, that no one is going with me. We
can all work on figuring out what the next step is, but after that, you stay here—safe. If there’s anything dangerous out there, I need you away from it. I know you want to help and you want to protect me as much as I want to protect you. That’s not in question. But if any of you comes along and something goes wrong, I’ll die before we ever find Anzu. It’s not a matter of if; it’s a when.”
After finishing the last word, I lean my head back and close my eyes. I feel so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of worrying, of arguing. Most of all I’m tired of being afraid that, because of me, one or all of them will die. I didn’t realize there were tears running down my face until I feel a big hand cupping my cheek and wiping the tears with the thumb. I know it’s Lucifer. No one else here has hands big enough that my entire face can fit in the palm. The quiet in the room is deafening. I open my eyes and look straight at dark orbs full of concern. My stupid heart thumps faster. Obviously it doesn’t understand the concept of betrayal, no matter how many times gets broken. I wonder why that is. Isn’t there a point in life when enough is enough and the heart closes itself for good so you spare yourself from the pain? It’s almost like my heart has a mind of a two-year-old. It keeps forgetting the hurt as soon as it’s over and someone offers it a hug. Lucifer’s worried face starts getting closer to mine, and I know he is about to kiss me again. I have no strength left in me to fight him any more, so I stop breathing, waiting to feel the touch of his lips on mine, but a gasp breaks the moment and we both jerk our heads towards it.
Meda’s eyes are milky white and she’s in a trance. The gasp that boomed in the quiet was the only warning we had before she stood frozen in time and space. We all wait. Lucifer straightens, dragging me across his lap like a rag doll. Not wanting to disturb Meda, I bristle at his action but keep my mouth shut. The smirk on his face tells me he’s well aware that he’s pissing me off but couldn’t care less. Well, payback’s a bitch, and he will meet her as soon as my sister is back from wherever she’s gone between the veils.