“Yeah.” He watches as I go for another towel to dry my hair. “Steele.”
“Oh.” I glance at him between a flip of the towel. “What’d he want?”
“Ya know, answers like everyone else.”
“And did you give them to him?”
He shrugs. “I’m not worried about him. I only want to know your answer.”
“Mine?” I hang the towel, pick up a brush, and pull it through my hair, peering at his reflection in the mirror. Ignoring the question that I’m apprehensive to answer, I set the brush back down on the counter. “I need to go deal with Crash today,” I say, and my attempt to leave the bathroom is immediately blocked by an outstretched arm across the doorway.
“How about you deal with me first?”
I stare at him, wanting to tell him the truth. I’m not prepared. Frankly, I’m not sure that I ever will be. “I thought I did last night and this morning.” I smirk. Hey, when all else fails, divert to sex.
His forehead creases. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
I glimpse at the barrier between me and freedom, his corded muscles, no doubt from twanging a guitar for the past ten or so years, remain in my way. “No?” I press my lips together. “What are you talking about then?”
“Babe, I’m not going anywhere,” he says, and the candor in his manner along with the determination in his honest amber eyes have me wanting with every stitch of my being to believe him.
“Neither am I. Well, except to Crash’s today. Now, do you mind?” I nudge my eyes at his arm. I need to get away from him before I blurt out everything capped up inside me.
He studies me for a moment. His jawline straightens, and I worry he might react to the tension bubbling between us. I grip the towel tighter to my body, concerned I might lose this battle and end up back in bed with him. I know in my heart it will never be enough. I will never get enough of Stone Kane.
His arm drops.
“Thank you.” I scurry past him.
A few minutes later, completely dressed and protected by clothing, I walk into the small living room area. Guitar in his hand, Stone looks up at me. His serious-minded expression softens and so does my heart.
I sit down in the chair across from him. “How long will you be here?”
His eyes run over my tight tee shirt and ripped jeans. “That’s up to you.”
“Don’t you have somewhere to be, some big city or country, ya know, for the band?”
“My schedule is clear for the month.” He rests his guitar against the sofa as if to get settled in for the conversation. “So let’s talk about what happens next.”
“Okay.” I nibble on my bottom lip. It’s time for me to ask some unanswered questions. Thankfully, the one about his mom, I already heard, and God only knows, I never want to hear him go through it again. For as long as I shall live, I’ll never ask about that part of his life. “How did you get the shrapnel in your back? It happened in the Army, right?”
“Oh, so we’re going there?” He slinks back into the sofa.
“You don’t want to?”
“I didn’t say that.” He looks at me through hooded eyes. “You know I’m crazy about you, right?”
“No.” I try to look away, but I can’t pull myself from him.
“Well, I am.” He folds his hands together and sets them on his lap. “So if this is what you want to do, ask me questions about my past, then let’s do it.” He smiles. “But what about you? Are you prepared to answer my shit?”
I shrug, unsure what I’m ready to tell him.
A soft chuckle rumbles from his chest. His eyes rest on mine for a few seconds longer. “The shrapnel in my back happened when I was working on a bomb deactivation.” He takes a second to readjust his folded hands, clear his throat, and secure his eyes with mine, but he doesn’t detour. He remains with me, and I with him. “The explosives were secured to a man who, at the last minute, decided he didn’t want to sacrifice his life for his people.” He pauses as his eyes flatten with the memory. “I couldn’t loosen the apparatus strapped to his body fast enough. I only had a little over a minute to shut it down. I was running out of time, and that’s when I noticed this kid walking down the street. He was maybe three years old, tears streaming down his dirty face as he cried for his mother. Time was a tickin’, and when I got to seven seconds left on the timer, I left the man to save the child. I grabbed the kid, wrapped him in my arms and ran. The blast knocked me out, but when I came to, they told me the kid was okay.”
“Oh, thank God.” I touch my chest, conjuring the story up in my head, fighting another bout of cries threatening to make an appearance. The Roman numeral seven on his neck, I wonder if that has something to do with that day?
“Yeah, but I’m not the only one who ran out to save the little boy. His sixteen-year-old brother was killed, and a friend of mine, Sammy Torres, lost both his legs. That’s who I ran into back in Ohio just before I met you. I’d been clean for over a year, and when I saw Sammy, it all came back, the pain, the lives lost, so many friends and kids and mothers we saw die over there. The next thing I knew, we were heading to the closest bar. I’m sorry.” His eyes avert to his clasped hands. “If I’d been clean, then maybe I could’ve been there for Jenny.”
“Oh no!” I get up and go to him, hearing his shame for the second time this morning. I crawl on top of his sturdy thighs, and I place my hands on his chest. “It’s not your fault. Don’t ever think that.” I slip my hands behind his neck and tilt his head. “I don’t blame you for Jenny’s death.” His uncertain eyes follow me as I bend down and kiss his compliant lips. “You’re a good man, Stone Kane, and don’t let anyone ever make you feel differently. I’m sorry that I ever did.” I kiss him again, everything coming together all at once—the drug abuse, the elusive behavior, and the hiding behind a guitar. He’s been so lost. Then again, so was I, and now that he’s found me, I’m afraid to come out from behind my regret and betrayal.
“So what’s it gonna be, Jaggs?” A small smile tips his mouth as his strong hands grip my hips. “Are we a thing or not?”
“We are definitely a thing. I just don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Not to mention, there are so many people involved in this thing.”
His head drops back onto the cushion, and his amber eyes darken. “All that matters is you and me, babe.”
“Well, if that were true, this would be a lot easier.” I lean in for another kiss, then push myself up from him and pull down my shirt. “Now, I have to go see your brother.”
He peers up at me from those make me yours forever eyes. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No.” I grab my backpack and toss it over my shoulder. “I need to do this on my own.”
“What are you going to say?”
“Don’t know. Figure I’ll wing it.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Crash is a good guy. He’ll understand no matter what you decide to tell him, but I can do it. If you want me to, I’ll tell them all.”
“Yeah, you going to give my two-week notice to your brother as well?”
He sits up in the sofa, the top half of his face creasing. “You’re quitting the shop?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“While I like being an auto mechanic, it’s not what I went to college for.”
“You went to college?”
“Yes, I have a degree in business administration. Prior to coming to Cali, I owned my own home, a few pairs of heels, and I was a bank manager. What?” I laugh at his animated expression. “Didn’t you think I had a life before this?”
“No, it’s just…” His dazed look inspires me. “I guess, there are things I don’t know about you either.” He reaches out, snags the loop on my jeans, and pulls me to him. He stands and instead of looking up at me, he’s now gazing down into my eyes. “So are you staying or leaving? Ya know, when you get a n
ew job with this degree of yours.”
“Well, I was going to see where this thing goes.”
“Oh, this thing.” He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. “This, meaning you and me? That thing?”
“Correct.” I laugh again, loving the feel of my body encircled in his arms. He smells like sex and the outdoors.
“Okay, but be warned, I’m going to make it difficult for you to leave.”
“Or maybe, I’ll make it hard for you to leave in a month when the boys call you back to the band. Maybe, you’ll want to stay.”
“I already do.” He kisses me, taking me back to our world, the land where only he and I exist. A place where everything falls away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“It’s Sunday. You’re supposed to be at home with your wife and kid, ya know.” I walk toward the big black boots peeking out of the gunmetal gray Honda Civic.
“Fuck, I can’t get this bitch off.” I hear a grunt followed by a wrench hitting the concrete floor. Crash pushes out from under the vehicle. Squinted dark emerald eyes flare up at me before he pulls himself from the creeper and wipes his hands on the rag he gathers from his overalls.
“She’s beautiful.” I run my hand over the hood of the impressive vehicle. “Is it a race car?”
“Yeah.” He shoves the rag into his back pocket. “At least, the asshole’s trying to make it one, but he had it all fucked up,” he says, mouth flat-lined. Kind of like the way he looks when someone tries to tell him what’s wrong with their car. It irritates the hell out of my friend when people self-diagnose their vehicles. He always says, “if they know what the fuck’s wrong with it, then they should fix it themselves.”
“Can we talk?”
He bends down and picks up his tools. I take his silence for his willingness to listen.
“I wanted to apologize for the way you found out about Stone and me. It shouldn’t have gone down like that.” He picks up the wrench he tossed a minute earlier onto the concrete and slams it into the toolbox. I raise my voice. “I didn’t think it would go anywhere, but—”
He lifts a hand. “I don’t give a shit, Jaggs. If you want to date my brother or whatever, I don’t care.”
“Crash.” I grab his arms. “Come on, at least, let me explain.”
“You lied to me.” He yanks his arm from my grip. “You told me you were in Rochester, and you were with Stone. What the fuck, Jaggs?”
“I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you or anyone else. It’s so messed up, and there are things you don’t know, things I—things…” I shake my head.
He stops throwing whatever random shit he can find in the toolbox, and his eyes dart to me. “What things?”
I slump back against the car behind me, losing the contemplating battle going on within my stressed-out body. “Crash, I’ve been lying to you and your family.” I breathe out a hard, shaky breath. “But if I stay, I can’t keep doing that.” I glance at my feet, feeling his eyes heavy on me. “I don’t know if you’re going to forgive me.”
He leans against the Honda Civic and crosses his arms over his chest. “Well…” He pauses, waiting for my eyes to meet his. “There’s only one way to find out.” He stares at me, left eye twitching, something that usually happens when he’s annoyed or can’t figure out or fix something. “Try me.”
I lift my head higher. “First, I want to say that I never thought I’d find the friend I found in you and your family. Shit, they mean the world to me, but when I came to Cali, I came for one reason and that was to destroy Stone.”
“What?” Crash straightens, likely on defense for his brother and from the conflict of my proclamation.
“You remember I told you about my sister, Jenny?”
“Yeah, she died in a car accident.” His left eye twitches a few more times.
“No, she didn’t.” I grimace, my heart breaking knowing I’m going to break his with the truth of my lies.
“She’s not dead?” His head tilts, confusion filling the lines on his crumpled expression.
“No, no. She’s dead, but she died by a bomb. See, a little over a year ago…” I go on for the next ten minutes, explaining everything from meeting Stone drunk and high after Jenny’s death all the way through until my last visit with him in the UK. When I finish, I hold my breath, watching and waiting for my best friend as a multitude of emotions are loudly displayed on his grease-smudged face.
“Wait.” Crash finally speaks, his partially opened mouth barely moving with the word. “Let me understand this. Stone knew all along who you were and why you were here?”
Dammit. I never thought about that. Stone lied to everyone as well. “Yes,” I say unable to deceive Crash any longer. The truth needs to come out, and we’re going to have to deal with whatever the outcome. I’m not sure if it’s something Stone and I will be dealing with together.
“And he didn’t tell anyone?” He slouches against the vehicle, his eyes moving to behind me as if not seeing anything at all.
“No, but don’t be mad at him. He didn’t mean—”
“I’m not.” He waves a hand. “Honestly, it’s the first caring and unselfish thing he’s done since returning from Iraq.” He looks at me, studying me. “He must really care about you, huh?”
I shrug, uncomfortable with the question.
“Yeah.” He nods with the enlightenment. “And you, do you care about him even after everything you just told me? I mean, after thinking he might’ve been the reason your sister died? Holy shit, Jaggs. This is some fucked-up shit. Ya know what? If you care about him, I don’t think you need to tell anyone about all of this. My family cares about you, and if you and Stone decide to be together, I think it’ll all work out.”
“Are you okay with everything?”
“Me?”
“Yeah.” I press my lips together.
“Shit, you knew about my demons, and you stuck around, so I think I can get over the fact that you wanted to take my fucked-up brother out.” He smiles. “Hell, there were times I wanted to.” He laughs.
I want to jump up and give him a huge hug. Our relationship isn’t like that, though. We’re drinking, car fixing, Fortnite playing buddies. “Thanks for understanding.”
“Yeah, Stone would be lucky to have you in his life. Shit! Look at him. You’ve been an improvement already. I nearly spit my beer out when I saw him walk in the bar all cleaned up. And when he kissed you…” His head shakes. “I thought he was on drugs or something, and that’s why I got pissed. I didn’t know you wanted him to do it. You’re my friend, and brother or not, he can’t go around kissing whoever he wants.” He laughs. “Well, I get it now, and I’m glad it’s not the latter. I’d hate to see him go through that shit again. When he was using, it was hard on him and the entire family. It hit Ma and Steele the hardest; they worry about him all the time. It’s tough loving an addict. Are you sure that’s something you want to do?”
“Ya know, I think I liked you better before Maggie. You were a lot quieter and asked a lot less questions.” I smirk at him. “I’m just kidding.” I wink. “You know I love Maggie, and I’m so happy for you, but yeah, I know what you’re saying, and yeah, I’ve thought about it, a lot.”
“I’m not saying addicts are hopeless. Maggie’s mom is an addict, and she’s been clean for a few months now. Maggie’s happy to have her mom back, but I worry for my wife. I’ve seen it before, the relapses, and I don’t want her to get hurt, but like Maggie says, it’s worth it. I guess the real question would be, is Stone worth it for you? He is to me and my family, but you don’t have to stick around. You don’t have to stay.”
“Crash, like you, Stone is my family. You’re all I got. There’s no aunt in Rochester. I have no one besides a few foster parents I stay in touch with here and there. But this, you, Cali, it’s my home. I don’t want to leave.”
He takes a step closer and places his hand o
n my shoulder like he does with his brothers when he’s about to get serious. “Well, then stay. I got your back no matter what you decide with Stone. I’ll be here for you, and you’ll always have a home and a family in me. Oh, no.” His bottom lip juts out. “Is that a tear I spy in your eye? I didn’t think you knew how to cry.”
“Fuck you.” I push his hand away and wipe my eyes.
“It’s okay, Jaggs. We’re good. Do whatever ya got to do to be happy.”
“Thanks.” I sniffle back another tear.
“Well, there’s another reason I came here today that’s probably not going to make you happy.”
He laughs, leans against the vehicle, and crosses his arms over his chest. “Try me.” He smiles.
“I have to give you my two-week notice.”
“What? I thought you were going to stay. You don’t have to quit. Like I said, you can stay. I’ll—”
“It’s not that. It’s, well, you might want to sit down. I have some more explaining to do.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Ma wraps her arms around me and squeezes. “Oh, I missed you.” She holds me for what feels like a minute. She pulls back, eyes racing from my hair to my smile. “Look at you.” She grabs my face. “Wow.” With my clean-shaven chin, she moves my head from side to side. “I haven’t seen this handsome face in a while.” She kisses me on the cheek and lets me go, maintaining that huge ass proud mama grin. She always knows how to make me feel good. “Yes.” She pats me on the chest. “Jaggs looks good on you.”
I shake my head. “Who told you?”
“Steele.” She withdraws her hand from my chest with another lingering gawk at my face. “He’s still trying to make up for getting married without me there.”
“Did it gain him any points?” I laugh, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“Nah.” She waves a hand. “I already knew, the way you and Jaggs are around each other. That kind of passion doesn’t come from unexplained hate. How’s she doing?”
STONE (Daring the Kane Brothers) Page 14