“You didn’t know?”
“Nope.” I turn back to an unblinking Crash. “She’s been kind of quiet since we all went out the other night. I think she was a little hungover because she stayed in bed most of the weekend. I was surprised she came to work on Monday.” I pause, my mind running off track for a short second. “She was here—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Crash waves me off. “But you’re right, she’s been more quiet than usual. I figured she was embarrassed over, ya know. She told me everything.”
“Everything?” I squint, unsure if he really knows what “everything” entails. Wonder if he’s including the guilt Jaggs has been carrying with her since I told her what Nix found out. Fuck! I’m still kicking myself in the ass for telling her the truth, but I had no choice. As much as it hurt her and me to say, I promised there’d be no more lies between us, and I plan to keep every promise I make to her. Besides, the police would be reaching out to her to investigate things. I couldn’t have her hearing it all from a stranger.
“Yeah.” He swipes the back of his hand over his forehead, adding more grease to his shiny head. “About why she came to Cali and shit. I told her, we’re good. I get it. The shit that went down with Josh, I don’t know, I just couldn’t blame her for what she did.” He rests his ass against the car. “I’m glad she had it wrong, though. Glad her sister’s death isn’t on your hands, bro. You’ve been through enough bullshit.” His eyes readjust from sincere to serious. “All along, you knew she came to Cali looking for you?”
“Yeah.”
He nods, twisting the cap off his bottled water and taking a swig. “Damn.” He tosses the empty bottle into a nearby toolbox on the floor. “That’s some shit. Makes sense, how angry she was all the time. I think that’s why we got along so well. We both had something to be pissed about.”
“Maybe.” I grimace.
“So, you and her, that shit’s for real?”
“Yes.” I haven’t been around much in the past few years, and after the intervention at Uncle Rowdy’s cabin, my family tends to question everything I do. I realized convincing them that I care about Jaggs wasn’t gonna be easy. Especially when it came to Crash. Jaggs found a way to get my little brother to talk about his best friend’s death. She means a lot to him. I gotta be real with him. “I care about her.”
“Yeah?” Bright green eyes dive deeper into me, years of experience measuring my answer. “Well, try not to break her heart, okay? I mean, she ain’t going anywhere. She’s a part of the family now with or without you. She’ll always have a home here, ya know?”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way, bro.”
“Yeah.” He bends down and picks up a wrench. “Well, I gotta get this shit done.” He points the wrench at a black Tesla.
“Sure, thanks.” I lift a hand. Getting the hint, I head out the door.
Instead of driving all over town searching for Jaggs, I go back to her place. She’s gotta show up sooner or later, right?
I pluck away at my guitar for an hour or so before I hear the apartment door handle jiggle open. Her eyes find mine, then they spot my duffel bag, and without words, she speaks to me. I set my guitar down. She tosses her bag on the table and plops in the chair across from me.
“How was work?” I figure, whatever she says from here is going to dictate what happens next. Will she lie? Or tell the truth?
“Okay.” She sinks into the cushion, her violet eyes latch onto me like she’s afraid to release the lock that’s kept me shut out for the past few days. “I had an appointment and had to leave early.”
Oblivious to it, I release the breath I’d been holding. “Oh, what kind of an appointment? Was it for a job?” Hope fills my chest. If she went for a job interview, that might mean she’s sticking around, and that’s all I want, more time to convince her of us.
“No.” She stands. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to take a shower and lie down.”
I grab her arm, and her eyes snap to me. “Don’t go. Let’s talk about whatever’s going on, Jaggs.”
She glares down at me, contemplation playing loud and clear on her beautiful face. I know her. She’s used to hiding behind a tough exterior. She learned at a very young age how to protect herself, having to take care of her little sister and all through her childhood years. Life’s experiences have hardened her. Her wall is nearly indestructible, but the sparkle in her eyes when she looks at me, it gives me hope. If I keep trying, I might be able to give that lock a little jiggle and open that fucking wall. Here and there, she’s let the softer side of her slip out from under the bottom of it. I’ve seen it a few times. It exists.
“Please, babe,” I invoke, my patience wearing thin. When her lips press together, more hope stockpiles in my chest. I rise from the sofa, hand still clamped around her small wrist. I pull her closer to me. “Let’s go for a ride, yeah?” I kiss her forehead. “No talking, just a nice long ride. We’ll play some good music and drive.” Her head tilts back, and she release a small begrudging sigh. “Come on, Jaggs.” I push back the few strands of her silky, light chestnut hair from her soft cheek. “I want to show you something.”
Finally, an inspiring response as her brows draw together. “What?”
“Say yes and you’ll find out.” I smile down at her. Fuck. I need her to give us a try.
She tilts her head to the side, spying at me from the corner of her eye. “I’m sorry, I really can’t. Not right now. I just need a little more time.”
“Okay.” I arrange my lips on hers and steal a kiss, absorbing her essence into every cell of my body. Then as much as it pains me to do, I continue with my plan.
I release her and pick up my guitar. I slide the case over my shoulder and pick up my bag. She silently watches. Her soul-crushing stoic expression giving me that extra push out the door. “Here.” I hold out a piece of paper to her.
“What’s that?” she asks, crossed arms tightening over her chest.
“This is where I’ll be. Come see me when you’re ready to talk.” I wave the paper held between two shaky fingers. “Take it.”
Her eyes gloss over. She stares at the paper as if she’s afraid of it.
“It takes about an hour to get there, but don’t worry. There’s no time limit, no expiration, and no expectations. You come when you’re ready, and I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Stone.” Her voice cracks as she glares at my hand. “It’s just…” She reaches out and takes the address. “Okay.” She sniffles as her head lowers. “I’m sorry, I know that I haven’t been very nice to you.”
“Babe, you’ve been going through a lot of shit these past few months. Everything has changed.”
“More than you know,” she whispers to the floor.
“Oh, I know.” I chuckle.
“No, really. I’ve treated you like shit, and you’ve been nothing but supportive and patient. I don’t understand why you’ve stayed this long.”
I grab her chin and lift her head, forcing her to look at me. “Yes, you do.”
For a quick second, that indestructible wall disappears. My chest constricts…but she’s quick to blink it away. “Okay.” I nod, accepting defeat, then lift my head and take my leave, hoping it won’t take too long for her to realize we are meant to be together.
CHAPTER THIRTY
I took a shower and laid down in bed.
Two hours later, it dawned on me what’s going on. Stone Kane is waiting for me. Me!
I’m up, dressed, and out the door in ten minutes. It takes an hour to get to my destination, which is more than enough time to practice what I’m going to say.
I pull into the long driveway to the modern white, Spanish-style ranch with full glass windows and a grand porch. It’s beautiful. It’s gotta be another one of those Airbnbs.
I park my car and get out. I run my hand up the smooth railing to the porch, taking my time, wary of what’s going to happen when the do
or opens, when I tell Stone the truth…
Now that I know it.
I rap my knuckles against the door and take a step back. A few seconds go by and I give the doorbell a push, stepping back once more, heart thumping hard against my rib cage. I glance at his truck in the driveway. Maybe one of his brothers picked him up. Oh God! What if that’s it. What if they pull up while I’m standing here? I can’t do this! I turn around and jog down the stairs.
“Hey,” I hear his gravelly voice call out.
My feet falter on the concrete sidewalk. “Oh.” I push the strands of hair from my face and spin around to face him. “H-hey,” I stammer, caught off guard by his gorgeousness standing with a rack in his hand. “I-I thought maybe you were out or something.” He smiles at me, and my insides flip. I glance at the house. “Is this another one of those Airbnbs?”
“Yes.” His smile grows, and he drops the rack to the ground. “That’s exactly what it is. I found it about a year ago, and sometimes, when I come into town, I stay here.”
“Are you renting a room now?”
“Yeah, you could say that.” He stops a few feet from me, pulling his gloves off one at a time and tossing them on the ground.
I take in his tight muscle revealing T-shirt, slim optimal fitting jeans, and the leather band that seems to always be wrapped around his wrist, clinging to him as my heart has been for these past three months. “So.” I chuckle, attempting to lighten the situation. “You could be here, but instead, you’ve been staying at my shitty little apartment?”
“Yes.” He laughs.
“Why?”
“Because…” Caution tape broken, he moves forward, slips a finger into the waist of my jeans, and yanks me to him. “You were there.”
I gaze up into his intoxicating whiskey-colored eyes, wanting to tell him I’m glad he stayed. I’m happy he stuck it out for as long as he did. It killed me to watch him walk away. I want to tell him the truth. I’m terrified he might run or worse, stay for the wrong reasons.
“Babe, I know I hurt you, telling you about what Nix found out. I also know what it feels like to blame yourself for other people’s evil.” He runs a gentle hand down my arm.
Why does his touch feel so good to me? It’s like his skin was made for mine.
“When I couldn’t get to the bombs in time, and people died, I’d blame myself and that’d lead me to drinking to numb the pain, and when that didn’t work anymore, I turned to drugs. It fucked up my life. So, if that’s the hole you’re trying to go down, don’t.”
“Stone.” I touch his chest. “It’s true. At first, I did blame myself. I think that’s a part of the reason I laid in bed all weekend. I felt so sick over it all.”
“You can’t do that because it’s not your fault. Believe me, if you don’t come to terms with the truth, it’ll eat you alive.” He pauses to search my face, and I’m terrified to say anything else. “I care about you, babe, and I’m not going anywhere. You hear me?” He gently squeezes my arms. “You can try to push me away all you want, but from the moment I met you back in Columbus, Ohio, when I first held you in my arms, fuck. I was so high, so far gone, so numb inside. I thought I’d never feel anything again, but you in my arms that day? I felt you, Jaggs. I felt you all through me, and it woke up a part of me that had died in Iraq. And when you showed up a year later, that life you sparked back into me, I don’t know how to explain it, but you’ve kept it alive. That might sound selfish, me needing you so much, but it’s the truth.”
I blink the tears from my eyes.
“Here.” He grabs my hand. “I said there was something I wanted to show you.”
“I thought this was it?”
“Well, it is but come with me.” With my hand, he guides me toward the back of the house where there’s another square building with windows around the length of it like the front of the house. Damn, this place has got to be worth some bucks. He stops in front of the door, takes the key from around his neck, and opens the lock. “Go on in,” he ushers me with a flick of his leather belted wrist.
I walk in and note the long digital workstation, microphones, headphones, computers, and speakers. The lounge area with an oversized sofa and chairs. “It’s a recording studio.” I turn to him.
“Yes, and this is the key to my heart.” He winks, holding up the key he’s known to wear around his neck. “And it’s ours.” He holds the chain out to me.
“Ours?”
“Yes.” He places the necklace over my neck and arranges the key against my lightly heaving chest. “You have my heart.” He looks up and finds my waiting eyes. “And, babe, all of this comes with it. It’s ours.”
“Wait. You own this place?”
“Yes, I signed the papers on September 12th. I had a lot of time to think while I was in the UK. I’m done running, done hiding. It’s time for me to live again, so I purchased this place with the hopes that when I came back, you’d agree to come live here with me. It’s close enough to our family, but it also provides me with the ability to write music, teach it, produce it, or whatever the hell I decide. Oh, and there are five bedrooms, so it’s big enough for some kids.”
“K-kids?” I barely get the word out.
“Yes.” With a tender knuckle, he brushes my tear away. “You do want kids someday, don’t you?”
“I-I thought you didn’t. Everyone says th-that you-you don’t like kids, and that’s why you never stay with Nix.”
“Oh, babe, I love kids. It’s just when I got back from Iraq, the shit I saw there, it was hard to look at a kid and not think about it.”
“And now?”
“Now, I’m ready to live and not let my past ruin my future.”
“Stone?”
“Yeah, babe.” He kisses my forehead.
“I-I have to tell you something.” I pat his chest. “I, ah, the reason I quit the shop, why I, ah was having a hard time telling you how I felt when you got here.” My eyes lower to his chest. “I thought I was pregnant.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wasn’t sure. I had a hunch. I planned to go see the doctor on Monday, but before we went out with everyone, I got my period. That’s why I got so drunk.”
“Babe, look at me.”
“I can’t.”
“It’s okay.” His palm presses against my cheek.
“I’m not done.” I sniffle.
“Okay.” He nods and presses his lips together.
“After we went out that night, and I got so drunk, I felt sick. Saturday, I thought it was a hangover, but when it didn’t go away on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I went to see the doctor on Wednesday. See, it turns out, I am pregnant. Doc thinks maybe I spotted from stress, but everything is fine, the baby is okay. I was worried about getting drunk and being pregnant, but he said not to worry, that it happens a lot when people don’t know they’re pregnant.” I pause to take a breath from rushing the words out so fast and glance up at him.
He blinks, and for the first time in a few months, I can’t read him. I hold my breath and stare at him, waiting for a hint of what he’s thinking. If he wants this, or if he’s changed his mind.
“Stone?”
“A baby?”
“Yes.” I go back to holding my breath.
“We’re going to have a baby,” he says, face not giving away any reference as to how he’s feeling about any of this. He palms both my cheeks with his warm hands. “Fuck, I love you.”
“You do?”
“Yes.” He smiles. “Jaggs.” He leans down and touches his lips to mine. “When I kiss you, all I can taste is the next fifty years, and babe, it tastes good. Oh, so good.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
I walk through the door of Mr. and Mrs. Kane’s home, and before I make eye contact with any of the other Kanes, Olivia grabs me and wraps her arms around me. She smells of sticky buns, vanilla, and ham. My hand slips from the secu
rity of the man who’s fathered the child growing in my belly to embrace the best mother in the world.
“Oh!” The welcoming hug makes me feel cared about and missed. “I’m so happy you’re here.” She gives me another tight squeeze and then releases me with a gentle smile. She turns to her son. “Stone!” She kisses him on the cheek. “Glad you made it.”
“I told you, Ma. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He winks, clasps my hand into his, and pulls me to the traditional long table the Kanes gather around. “Are we late?” He glances at his cell and then back at Olivia. “You said one, right?”
“Yes.” Olivia touches him on the arm. “You’re fine, Stone. You’re not late,” she insists with gentle eyes.
“No, no! Wait! Stone is here. Let’s ask him,” I hear Crash say, the comment distracting Stone from his anxiety about being late.
“What?” Stone walks over to the table and pulls out a chair for me, looking around at everyone.
Harley smiles my way and seeing my friend absorbs my nervousness as I lower into my seat.
“Who dressed up as Superman in Ma’s bodysuit? Remember, he had on a red G-string and blue stockings, ya know, the ones that stop at the thighs.” Crash laughs, scoring a hand across the top of his leg.
“Thigh-highs, honey,” Maggie, Crash’s wife, grins with the correction, placing her hand over his and giving it a pat.
“Right.” Crash flicks his brows at her, his dancing emerald eyes flashing back at Stone. “It was Token, wasn’t it?”
“Sorry, big guy.” Stone grimaces at Token before answering. “Yeah, that’d be him.” Stone sits down, plucking a piece off the sticky buns in the center of the table and popping it into his mouth.
Knowing what it tastes like makes my mouth water, but I’m cautious about what I put in my mouth these days. There’s a good chance that I could either toss it right back up or feel sick for the rest of the day. So I stick to the safe things like crackers, ice cream, and cereal. I’ve been eating a lot of cereal lately. Poor Stone has been making nightly visits to the store to indulge my pregnancy cravings. He’s been amazing ever since I told him about the baby.
STONE (Daring the Kane Brothers) Page 16