“Aside from that, Jilly, I’m yo’ husband, and I can’t have you living in a spot another nigga bought.”
“Well then you buy us a place.” I raised my brow, waiting for a response.
“You know I ain’t got the cash for that right now.”
“Exactly, and my brother does.”
Vernon shook his head, chuckling in an irritated fashion. I understood him, but that was too bad. I needed my own place, and right now, the only way I could get it was through Tony. Until Vernon could financially support me, or until I could do it myself, this was how shit was gonna be.
“Some bullshit,” he mumbled.
“Speaking of not having the cash, when do you plan to get some work?”
“I don’t know, Jilly. I told you I’m trying to figure shit out. Quit sweating me.”
Taking his hand in mine, I called his name to make him look at me.
“Vernon, Houston is my brother, and he always will be. I know you hate his guts, but I don’t; I love him. He’s a great brother, and I wouldn’t change anything about him, not even the insane part. He protects me, and he’s always there for me. Whenever I have an issue or a worry, I always know he’s gonna fix it somehow,” I admitted.
I knew it wasn’t good for me to depend so heavily on Tony, but it was just how things had always been. If I needed something paid, handled, or corrected, I called him, and he always came through. Literally the thought, Houston will fix this, crossed my mind at least ten times a day.
“That’s supposed to be my job.”
“Yes, I know, but right now, it’s not. I want that to be you, but I love you the way you are. I don’t want you to change your person for me.” I caressed his smooth brown face. “But if you want me to depend less on Tony, then you’re gonna have to get an income I can depend on.”
“You right.” Vernon nodded before kissing me.
“Thank you, and that’s why I need you to talk to Houston, please. I need you guys to be okay with one another, and maybe he can put you to work.”
“How he gon’ put me to work?”
Shrugging, I replied, “I don’t know. He does a lot of shit.”
Houston always said the most successful people had multiple streams of income, so I was sure he had something he could throw Vernon’s way.
“Aight, Jilly, but talk to him first because I’m not going there to get my ass whooped.”
I started laughing, but when Vernon lowered his lids at me, I stopped it.
“I got you.”
I chilled with my man for a good hour but then sent him on his way because I was anxious to finish packing. By 6 p.m., I was putting my things in the car, and surprisingly, Miranda helped me a bit. She was probably happy I was getting the hell out.
Tony’s moving people had already gotten my big furniture by now.
I drove my dad’s old car to my brand-new apartment and parked in the underground structure like the landlord had advised when I signed on the place.
“This all yo’ shit?” Tony met me at my car.
“Yes, why?”
“Why the fuck you think, Jilly? I don’t want yo’ ass going back over there for shit.”
“Oh, okay.” I watched him as he pulled some of my stuff from the back seat. “You hate Miranda now?”
“I always hated the bitch. Come on.” He nodded for me to get the rest of my bags, so I did.
“Oh my gosh, I love it!” I screeched once we were inside again. His people had set my shit up, even mounted my new TV in the living room. “Thank you!” I hugged Tony’s torso tightly while grinning. His familiar Hermés cologne made me happier for some reason.
“Aye.” He palmed both sides of my face, making me look up at him. I kept my arms around his body. “I got a job for you. I’m not gon’ be paying the rent on this shit forever. This is just until you get yo’ own bread and enough to cover it.”
“Okay. Umm, what is it?”
He was still holding my face, and I was still hugging him.
“Nala got a video coming up, and I’m gon’ let you style it. I got a muthafucka bringing clothes and shit, designer, and I want you to put some shit together. You gotta be quick though, since it ain’t no time to prepare.”
“Yes! Oh my gosh! What time should I be there?” We let one another go.
“Show up at six a.m. I’m gon’ text you the address.” He walked to the door.
“Right, six a.m. Oh, and Houston…?” He turned to look at me, awaiting my statement. “I wanted to say thank you again, and also if you could please, please talk to Vernon.”
“No.”
“Wait!” I rushed to stop him since he’d yanked the door open to leave. “Please, just do this for me.” I put my hands in prayer mode. “Just try, and I promise if you still hate him, I will never ask you to do this again. Also, he’s broke.”
“Jilly, you trust me?” He licked his lips, folding his arms as he towered over me.
It was crazy how my brother was so tall, when our father was about five feet ten, and our mom way shorter than that. However, our mother said her dad was almost seven feet, so his height must’ve passed on to my brother, who was already five feet eight in eighth grade. He then sprouted quickly in high school. My mom used to always say she was grateful for that pass down of genetics because she didn’t want a short son.
“Yes. Of course I do, Houston.”
“Then listen to me when I say he ain’t the nigga you want nor need. That type of muthafucka ain’t gon’ do shit but bring you down, mentally, physically, and especially financially.
You ain’t even married to the nigga yet and he got you out here begging muthafuckas to give him a job. Use yo’ fucking head, Jilly; the nigga is unstable. And he a snake on top of that shit. I been in the streets since I was in grade school, I can spot a disloyal muthafucka with ease.
I’m not associating, and I’m surely as fuck not about to break bread with a muthafucka I don’t trust.”
His words did worry me, I admit.
“He’s not like what you think and—”
“Aight, well do what the fuck you wanna do, but when yo’ ass is broke, out of a job, with three or four kids, and fighting his other bitches that he got kids by, don’t bring that shit to me.”
“Houston!” I yelled his name, but he left out.
Locking the door, I went to plop down on the couch, just as my iPhone chimed.
Babe: You talk to him? Can I come over?
Me: I did and he said okay he will chop it up with you. I will let you know when you can see him at the studio. And not tonight, I’m exhausted. I love you.
Dropping my phone, I cut the TV on and sadly watched.
A few days later…
Camarih was on bed rest and had asked Tony to bring her Chinese food. He was busy though, so he called me up to do it, even gave me $20 for my troubles.
As I entered their condo with the floor to ceiling windows, I shook my head with a smile because my brother definitely loved her. His actions may have seemed small, but if you knew Tony, it meant a lot.
“Oh wow, thank you!” Camarih lit up when she saw me in the doorway with her food.
Her belly was so big, but she was still pretty as ever with those swollen lips to match. The room smelled very nice and calming, making me grin as I admired the decor.
“You’re welcome.” I handed off the food and then sat down on the edge of the bed as she unwrapped it. “I can’t wait for the baby to come.”
“Me either.” She huffed before praying. I stayed silent to respect that.
“I’m going by the studio when I leave here. Want me to report back on Nala if she bothers Houston?” I cheesed, and she did the same.
“Yes and—” She stopped talking and switched up. “No, it’s okay.”
“Why? I promise I don’t mind. It’s actually fun.”
“No, I know, and I appreciate it, but it doesn’t matter what she does truthfully.”
“What do you mean? She is thirsty
as hell, and she looovvesss her some Tony Wacko.”
“Don’t they all?” We laughed in unison. “But no, it doesn’t matter because he’s not going to be unfaithful, and she’s never going to get what she wants from him. If she chooses to play herself, then that’s on her.”
“Oh.” My eyes darted over Camarih as she stuffed her face. “You must trust that fool.” I half smiled.
“I guess you can say that, but it’s mainly because I know him, and I know he doesn’t want to lose me. Also, he thinks I’m so fine and no one is as fine as me.” She blushed.
“Awww.” I held my cheeks because they were hurting from smiling.
“Yeah, so a hoe willing to bust it open won’t be enough for him to ruin things.”
It was nice seeing my brother in love, and I was surprised myself that he hadn’t cheated. I didn’t know he was able to sleep with one woman and not call her a hoe, bitch, or whatever other disrespectful thing that popped in his head every three seconds.
“Question, what do you think of Vernon?” I waited with bated breath.
“I don’t know him.” She kept her eyes on her food. From being around Camarih, I knew that was a bad sign because she always made eye contact, even if she was doing something.
“Right, but I mean, what was your impression of him?”
“He was nice.”
“Camarih. Please? Tony hates him, and I wanna know what you think.”
“Okay. He’s soft, and he’s not very manly, but also he’s a bit suspicious.”
“Like gay?”
“No!” She snickered, shaking her head. “He seems sneaky, like a snake almost but not a grown one; one that’s still in the making.”
“Oh.” I simply nodded, not having a response.
I didn’t know how I was going to blend my husband into this family, but I was afraid that what Tony and Camarih were saying would come back to bite me in the ass.
Shanece
Per usual, I hadn’t been able to sleep much, so I spent a lot of nights setting goals for my career or scouring social media, anything to keep my mind off my husband. I couldn’t even watch TV shows or movies because as soon as anyone showed romantic feelings toward the other character, I would feel sick to my stomach.
I’d at least come to terms with the fact that I would never have the type of love I had with Paul, so any man that I did meet would simply be second best.
In the midst of one of my many social media explorations, I found Keira’s page. It was pretty easy since I knew her first and last name, so after typing that in, she popped right up with her unprofessional ass.
I looked through most of her pictures, mainly trying to see if there was any trace of a man, one who could have gotten her pregnant, but there were none. She had a few men in her comments complimenting her looks, but what woman didn’t? And if they weren’t in them comments, it was because their married or taken asses were in them direct messages.
Sitting up in my bed, I grabbed my phone and went back to Keira’s page. Tapping the button that would allow me to send her a message, I straightened my back as I thought of what to type.
Me: Good morning, I am not sure if what you said to me was a cruel joke or a mistake, but I would like to meet up and talk.
It’d been a while, so I was hoping she ignored me or either admitted to her spewing falsities. Nothing would allow me to believe Paul just up and got her pregnant. Aside from the fact that he loved me, he and I both agreed that we were too young for such a thing.
Was I partly jealous at the thought? Absolutely. I wanted my husband’s baby, and the fact that another woman had possibly taken such a thing from me made my throat feel like it was closing. Often times I regretted using birth control, something my mama had told me not to take from day one.
KeiraBrown: I wasn’t joking nor was I mistaken. We can meet whenever. I’m pretty free.
Me: Today at noon. Meet me at the Red Lobster across from the hospital you work at.
KeiraBrown: Okay.
It was already 9:30 a.m., so I went to make myself a nice breakfast and then brushed my teeth before showering. I made sure to dress extremely nicely, just so that bitch wouldn’t be upstaging me. Hell, she already was possibly pregnant with my husband’s child; she wasn’t gonna be best dressed too.
I got to Red Lobster around 11:50 a.m., since it took a while to do my makeup perfectly. I got a table, ordered a strong drink, and by 12:05 p.m., I spotted Keira entering the establishment, wearing too tight clothes like normal, and looking around for me. Sticking my arm in the air, I waved so that she’d see me.
“Sorry I’m a bit late. I haven’t been feeling well,” she had the nerve to say as she dropped her cobalt blue Birkin on the booth seat before sliding in.
“I’m sure.” I waited until she got situated. “Look Keira, I’m gonna be honest and say that I don’t believe you’re pregnant by my man. Hell, you’re probably not pregnant at all.”
“I figured you’d say that.” She dug into her large purse to retrieve some sonogram photos and documents.
I took them and sifted through before handing them back to her promptly. The weeks on the sonogram photo showed she’d gotten pregnant a little bit before Paul entered the hospital that last fatal time.
“That could be fake, but let’s just say you are pregnant, you really expect me to believe my husband fucked you?”
“He did. I don’t get why you keep saying that. I may not be pretty to you, but I get niggas.”
“Has nothing to do with that, and let’s keep this conversation mature before we have a round two.
The reason I don’t believe it, is because Paul would never cheat on me. He and I were loyal to one another, and we would never step out, especially to this extent.”
“Married people cheat all the time.” She looked deeply into my eyes… almost knowingly.
I said nothing for a few seconds as the waiter took her order, and Keira was not shy with the food.
“Married couples do cheat, but not us. See, I’ve been with Paul for a long time, since I was a damn teenager, and never, not even once, have we looked at someone else. That was one thing we promised to never do, was be unfaithful. We would try to talk it out, then break up, but never cheat.” I nodded.
Yes, this may have sounded like bullshit because of my affair with Rahim, but that was a weak moment for me. I did try to talk to Paul several times, as promised, but with him being ill, us fixing our problems had taken a back seat. That wasn’t an excuse though; what I had done was wrong.
However, I made that promise, not knowing that my husband would fall terminally ill and become a mean ass nigga I didn’t know.
“Is that right?” Keira took a sip of her strawberry lemonade that the waitress had delivered prior.
“It is. So whatever obsession you have with him, let it go. He’s gone anyway, so you will gain nothing from this.”
“Wow. You should be an actress because that whole monologue was perfection. I would actually believe the words coming from your mouth if I didn’t know for a fact that you’ve cheated.”
When I tell you my heart almost stopped and my stomach muscles contracted, I wasn’t joking. Hearing her say such a thing and like she was so sure, scared the fuck out of me. I didn’t know why since Paul was dead, but it had me shook.
“What? Girl, please! You wish I cheated!”
“I don’t have to wish, because you did. You slept with that skinny brown-skinned guy. I think he’s a producer. He’s made songs for that rapper Eitan. He’s really talented, girl. Good choice. Too skinny for my liking, but hey, we all like different things.”
The way she spoke like she just knew it all made me so fucking angry.
“Look bitch, I don’t know where you’re getting your information from, but you got me fucked up!” I screamed, making everyone in the restaurant look our way. Keira just giggled, drinking more of her flavored lemonade.
“Do I? Quit the bullshit, Shanece. You fucked that Rahim boy, wh
ile your husband was fighting for his life, then you come in here showboating about how faithful the two of you were. Ha! I said it before, and I will say it again… Paul was better off being married to me. And clearly he thinks so because I’m having his baby.”
“Stupid bitch!” I grabbed her drink, tossing it into her face, before throwing it and popping her in the nose.
When I got ready to climb over the table, a man grabbed me, holding me back.
“No, you’re the stupid bitch! You’re a stupid grimy bitch on top of that! This hoe cheated on her sick husband, y’all!” Keira got up to holler out, dripping in lemonade as I flailed, trying to free myself from whomever this nigga was.
“Wait until I get loose, hoe!” I moved about wildly. “Lying ass bitch!”
“Well, I must go. I don’t want to upset Paul’s baby. I think it’s a boy. How do you like Paul Jr.?”
When she said that, I broke free and darted toward her. Keira ran off, and I chased her ass right out into the parking lot. Like two fools, we ran all around the large parking area similar to children playing freeze tag, until she got to her car and slithered in before I could get to her.
Out of breath, I called her every name I could think of as she sped off laughing.
Realizing I needed my purse, I limped back toward the Red Lobster to see a tall brother holding my bag out to me.
“Thanks.” I took it, checking the insides to be sure all my shit was in there.
“It’s all there. You aight?” he inquired, making me look up.
He was definitely in the six feet arena, with chocolate skin, a baldhead, and a beautiful smile. He smelled woodsy too, like he had a good job, with a lot of perks and fat paychecks.
“Why do you care?”
“Not saying I do, per se. I’m just asking. You’re beautiful, so it was weird seeing you act like that in there.”
“Excuse me? Act like what? For your information, just because I have a good job, a nice car, look good, and make good money, doesn’t mean I won’t beat a bitch down.”
Chuckling, he replied. “Nah, I’m not saying that. Damn, you get offended easily.”
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