by Megan Slayer
“I haven’t checked that out, but I will,” Shaun said. “Do you run?”
“It breaks up the day and lets me blow off frustration.” This time, he’d ask Shaun to come along. He’d do it. Talking to Shaun was easier than he’d expected.
“Oh yeah, I’d run for that reason. Might have to start running mid-afternoon.” Shaun drank more of his coffee, and silence enveloped them.
Kevin wasn’t sure what to talk about. He couldn’t disclose everything right away.
“You asked about why I’m here—besides the race, I thought it might be nice to put down roots. No one knew me here, so I could be myself,” Shaun said. He finished his drink and nudged the cup away. “It’s nice to not have to play up to an image or be something I’m not.”
Kevin stared at him. Shaun was handsome and seemed normal, but the something he wasn’t comment rankled with him. “Why? Did you have to live up to the antics of a sibling or did you do something you regret?” God, he sounded nosy. “I mean…never mind.”
“I’m not running from anything, no.” Shaun laughed. “I wanted to buy a house, even though I haven’t yet because there are too many choices and I don’t have any siblings. Just my folks and me. Well, no. There’s my dad and my step-mother, plus my mother.”
“Ah.” He hadn’t bought a home or put down proper roots, but he also couldn’t seem to leave his hometown. After splitting from Kyle, roots seemed unimportant.
“You seem comfortable here. I’ve heard stories about coming out in Cedarwood and it being dangerous,” Shaun said. “It doesn’t seem dangerous.”
“It used to be. People have sort of simmered down in the last couple years. The undercurrent of anger is still there, but it’s not at the forefront.” Kevin blotted his mouth with his napkin, then moved his cup to the side. “When I told my parents I was gay, my mom hugged me and my dad told me he knew all along. Neither got upset and they encouraged me to be myself. It was like a release when I admitted it—I wasn’t hiding and they weren’t trying to dance around it. At school, life wasn’t great. I was smart, different and the kids I graduated with didn’t understand how to act around someone who was gay.” He shrugged. “The town could be rough back then and there is always someone who wants to be an asshole, but it’s not as bad as it’s been.”
Kevin suppressed a shudder. He hated talking about that part of his past and disliked how the town wasn’t as quick to accept everyone as he would’ve preferred. Every so often, when he got low, he could still hear their voices in his ears, reminding him that being different wasn’t cool.
Shaun reached across the table and touched Kevin’s hand. “Are you okay?”
“Sometimes the negative moods hit and I get stuck remembering what I went through.” Kevin shrugged, but didn’t pull away from Shaun. The comfort in Shaun’s touch reassured him. “I wasn’t the target, but there was a group that would attack the gay community. Like actual attacks. Shit on cars, flaming shit…one guy was assaulted.”
“Ouch.”
“It’s more harmonious now, but you never know.”
“Nope.”
The volume of noise in the shop increased. Kevin balled his free hand on his lap. As much as he could stand the confusion and action in the stadium, he hated it in smaller spaces like the coffee shop. “It’s getting busy and Joe has music on Thursday nights. Sometimes the music is good and other times it’s not so much.”
“Yikes.” Shaun rubbed the top of Kevin’s hand with the pad of his thumb. “Why’d you and Kyle split? The cat?”
“Mostly. We were going down different paths and it just wasn’t working. Neither of us wanted to put in the effort.” No, he’d invested his time and Kyle didn’t care. “Kyle wanted everyone to look at him, and when they didn’t, he got angry.”
“That bothered you. Were you jealous?”
“God, no. I don’t care that he attracted attention, but I cared that he ignored me in favor of it.” He hated thinking about Kyle and had spent too much time discussing him. “I never mattered. If he could be in the spotlight, he did it.”
“I got that impression.” Shaun held Kevin’s hand. “His loss. You’re cute and I’ll bet you’re both loyal and sweet, too.”
“I can be.” The comment made him sound like he was a dog, but whatever. Shaun was easy to talk to and Kevin liked the way he held his hand.
“I’d like to see you again. I’m not much of a cook, but how about dinner Saturday? My place, say around six? I’ll make food and we can catch a movie.” Shaun’s eyes glittered.
“You want to with me?” Kevin blurted. He really needed to think before he spoke.
“Who else?”
Duh…him. “I—” When Kevin looked up, Kyle approached the table. “Fuck.”
“Oh, good. I fuck, too.” An odd smile crossed Shaun’s lips. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Pretty much. Kyle marched over to the table and sat beside Shaun. He draped his arm around Shaun’s shoulders. “So this is where you wanted to meet? Quaint.” He narrowed his eyes. “Kevin.”
Shaun tensed. “Kyle?”
“Right here.” Kyle kissed Shaun on the lips. “Missed me?”
“I…” Shaun paled, then met Kevin’s gaze. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Kevin let go of Shaun’s hand and stood. “I see I’m interrupting. See you around.” He left the table without looking back. He’d started developing feelings for Shaun. Granted, Shaun wasn’t necessarily his and they weren’t a couple, but why did he have to pick Kyle? Kevin shoved his hands into his pockets and walked the four blocks home. He couldn’t compete with Kyle for Shaun’s attention. Not when Kyle looked like he’d stepped out of a fashion magazine.
He sighed. He liked Shaun and wanted to think running into Kyle was a coincidence, but Christ, he was forty years old and too far gone to waste time with someone who wanted to play around.
One day, the right man would come along and sweep him off his feet.
Just not today.
Chapter Three
Shaun shoved Kyle away and growled. He’d lost perfectly good time with Kevin because Kyle had to be a dick. “What are you doing?” He wiped his mouth and twisted in his seat to see which way Kevin had gone. “I was here with him.”
“Waiting on the friend?” Kyle asked. He polished his watch face on his shirt. “Or was he the friend?”
“It’s none of your business, but he was the friend, yes.” Probably not now. He’d seen Kevin’s reaction to Kyle and could feel it, too. Kyle had done a number on him, but what did Shaun expect? Kyle was a toxic person, just like Kevin said. Shaun would be lucky if Kevin spoke to him again.
“Why would you want to meet up with him? Kevin’s so boring and he’s a server. I work in the offices and have access to the team.” Kyle pushed Kevin’s empty cup aside. “At least he still has decent taste in coffee. I taught him everything he knows about it.”
Shaun sighed and put space between him and Kyle. “I’ll bet you did. You molded him into the man he is today, right?” He shook his head. “What did you do? Visit every coffee shop in town until you found me? Stalkerish much?”
“I was making a coffee run and saw you, so I stopped.” Kyle shoved another napkin into Kevin’s cup. “Why? You looked like you needed rescued.”
“I was fine.”
“With Kevin?” Kyle crooked his eyebrow. “Really?”
“He’s not so bad—not as bad as you think.”
“Ah. Not so bad, eh? Translation, he’s not fuckable and you’re not dying to get him into bed, but you’ll give him a pity date. Sounds like you’re biding your time.” Kyle rolled his eyes. “Oh well. I hear the band is good tonight.”
“Might be.” Shaun wasn’t interested in listening to music tonight, not even his precious Mozart. “I need to go. I’ve got emails to answer and it’s getting stuffy in here.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Kyle slapped the table. “Let’s go.”
“You can go anywhere you want.
I’m heading home—alone.” He put a five-dollar-bill on the table, then stood. “I need to pay the tab.”
“He left you with the bill? What an asshole.” Kyle snorted. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“It was my treat.”
Kyle sighed. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come along? I’m great company.”
“I’m sure.” He left the table. Shaun had thought he’d made some headway with Kevin. Thought they sort of liked each other. Might even be able to start dating. Then Kyle had come along. Jesus Christ. He paid the bill and thanked the girl at the register. “Thanks.”
Kyle fell into step beside him out to the lot. “Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere? It’s early.”
“I had plans and they changed, so no.” He stayed by the door of his car. Kyle was too clingy for his tastes.
“Then come with me. We’ll hit Sum51 in Cleveland. It’s a great club and loaded with hot men. Lots of dancing and music,” Kyle said. “You might want to change. Denim is frowned on at the club.”
“No thanks.” He’d done the clubbing thing and was over it.
“Don’t like the music?”
“I’m not in the mood for a concert or dancing tonight.” Shaun folded his arms. “But you are, so you should go. Get some of your energy out and have a good time.”
“I hate going alone.”
“I was here with Kevin and I’m going home alone, so I guess we’re even.”
“Gag.”
His irritation grew. “What did he ever do to you? Huh? You split, and I get that relationships aren’t always sweet when they end, but why are you being so nasty?”
“You saw him leave,” Kyle said. “He’s just not that sexy and he knows it.”
“He does?” Kyle wasn’t wrong—Kevin’s self-esteem appeared to have taken a hit, but with an ex-boyfriend like Kyle, it stood to reason Kevin might be touchy.
“He saw me and bolted. That should tell you everything you need to know,” Kyle said. “He can’t stand being around me.”
“I suppose so.” He turned on his heel and walked away. Right now, he needed the space and silence. He rather liked Kevin’s awkwardness. He was sweet and, once Shaun got him to open up, Kevin relaxed. Plus, Shaun couldn’t help his affinity for men with dark, moody eyes. God, he loved that soulful look. Then there was the phone thing. He’d finally found someone who wasn’t glued to their damn cell phone.
He slid behind the wheel of his car and shut the door before Kyle caught up to him. Shaun pressed his phone to his ear and nodded, faking a call. Kyle groaned from his position on the sidewalk, but didn’t approach.
Good. He left Kyle in his wake and drove away. What a nightmare.
Once he got back to his apartment, he parked in his carport, then headed into his unit. He just wanted a decent date. Not an overly elaborate one, not a club version, but a nice, quiet date where he could get to know the guy—in this case, Kevin.
His phone rang and he checked the ID screen. Cheryl, one of the few friends he still had from the Jonah-era. He set the call to speaker and answered. “Hi, girly.”
“Hi, yourself,” Cheryl said. “How are things? I see you’re settling in. Work’s going well? You’re posting on social media, which is good. I thought you’d fallen into depression again.”
“No, not depressed.” He’d left that part of his life behind when he’d moved to Cedarwood. “Things aren’t so bad here and I’m getting into the swing of life in the small town. I like my job at the paper, we’re getting new advertisements daily and I’m busy, so there’s that.” He kicked his shoes off. He threw his keys into the basket and abandoned his wallet there, too. “I’m good. You?”
“No, you’re not good,” she said. “You’re miserable.”
“No.” Not really. “I had a date and it went sideways, but that’s life. Honestly, I’m fine.”
“A date? With? Dish.”
“His name is Kevin. He’s a nice guy and has a job, but his ex-boyfriend is persistent. He showed up while we were out and it got awkward.”
“Oh no,” she said. “Did you come on to the other guy? You flirt without realizing you’re doing it.”
“I didn’t flirt with Kyle. No. He’s cute, but it’s not anything I want to involve myself with. Plus, he reminds me of Jonah. He wants attention and needs to have a relationship.” Shaun shook his head and plopped on the couch. “He’s not anything I’m looking for.”
“Right. You don’t need another Jonah. He sucked the life out of you.”
“He did.” He hadn’t thought about the relationship that way, but she was right. He hadn’t been happy with his ex. Miserable was more like it. Nothing had ever pleased Jonah and there wasn’t enough money in the world for him.
“What’s wrong with Kevin?” Cheryl asked.
“For one, he’s intimidated by his ex. Kyle is about as pushy as Jonah and determined, too. Second, he’s shy. Like the sexy, sweet, isn’t sure about himself and doesn’t know he’s handsome kind of shy.” He crossed his ankles. “Then there are the sparks. When we touched…man. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. He’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced and the kind of guy I like. Plus, he’s tall, dark and handsome.”
“Then why didn’t you take him home?”
“If he hadn’t beat feet as soon as Kyle showed up, that was the plan.” Shaun sighed and rested his head on the back of the cushion. “Remember when you dated Nick and things were fine until Kate showed up and Nick kept leaving? It’s like that. Kyle is so damn pushy and overbearing that he forces Kevin to retreat. You can’t get a word in edgewise with him.”
“Ouch.”
“I know.”
“You’re going to text him, right? And get him to come over?” she asked. “At least set up another date. You have to, and make it up to him.”
“That’s the plan. I’m going to let Kevin have some space for a day, then I’ll text tomorrow.” He shook his head. “You didn’t see the frantic look in his eyes. Kyle really did a number on him.”
“Guys like that do,” she said. “So then, you’re happy?”
“I am.” He sat up. “What about you? Things are settling down?”
“For the most part. I got Giorgio to commit and we’re talking about a July wedding,” she said. “But we’ll see. I haven’t gotten a ring yet.”
“Don’t push him. That’ll only make him dig in deeper.” Shaun laughed. He appreciated their chats. She knew how to ground him in ways only a friend could, plus, there wasn’t the undercurrent of sexual tension. They took each other at face value.
“You’ll come down to Columbus soon, won’t you? We miss you.” She sighed. “Bring that boy of yours. He sounds yummy.”
“If I can get Kevin to forgive me, then I’ll try,” he said. “Thanks for checking in on me.”
“Of course. We have to make sure each other is okay,” she said. “Now, give that boy of yours a kiss and tell him a date is in order. Sex him up, too.”
“Cheryl.” He laughed. “We’ll set up something to come visit.”
“Deal. I want to meet this guy who has you all twisted up. Sounds like a keeper,” she said. “Love you.”
“Love you.” He hung up and closed his eyes. She’d cheered him out of his funk, at least.
His thoughts turned to Kevin. Shaun had to look at the situation differently. Kevin was shy and needed to feel safe. Shaun could do that. He’d try anything to get Kevin to open up again—even if it meant they were only meant to be friends. But the spark came to mind. There was a crackle between him and Kevin. This wasn’t a friends-only thing.
He’d work to convince Kevin to give him a try. With his heart on the line, he had no other choice.
* * * *
Saturday afternoon, Shaun checked the team calendar one more time. The game today was going along according to the schedule—no big delays. Good. The matchup between Cedarwood and Ridgeville was probably the reason Kevin hadn’t returned any of Shaun’s texts, too
. Being busy and working tended to impede on texting time. Then again, Kevin could still be pissed, too.
Shaun stared at his closet and debated his choices. He could keep trying to text Kevin and possibly give up, or he could go to the stadium and see him.
A surprise seemed in order.
Shaun showered, then dressed in one of his favorite college T-shirts, the garment that showcased his biceps. He selected a pair of butter-soft jeans. Once he’d styled his hair and donned a pair of socks, he located his favorite pair of cowboy boots. The footwear might be a bit much, but if he was going to go for sexy, he might as well play to his strengths.
He checked his look in the mirror—sexy, but not desperate. Good. He tucked his phone into his pocket, grabbed his keys and wallet, then left. If nothing else, he’d get answers.
Shaun drove to the stadium, listening to Mozart. He needed grounding today like no other. Once he reached the lot, he wondered where Kevin would park and what kind of car he drove. Fuck. Who would know this stuff?
Cara might. He dialed her number and turned the music down. After two rings, she answered.
“Hi,” she said. “What do you need?”
“You know Kevin, right? What kind of car does he drive? I want to surprise him.”
“A Subaru. A boring four-door car.” She paused. “What’s the surprise?”
“I wanted to see him when he got off work.”
“You’re coming on a bit strong. You might freak him out.”
“I know, but I need to do something big to fix my mistake,” Shaun said. He located the staff lot and the lone Subaru. “I think I found it.”
“What mistake?” she asked.
“Just trust me and I’ll tell you Monday, but it was a big one.”
“Okay, but look for a blue four-door,” she said. “Tell me what you’re going to do, so if I have to put the brakes on, I can.”
“I’m going to do the best I can.” He parked next to Kevin’s car and turned his engine off. “Thanks, and I’ll talk to you Monday. Wish me luck and I promise to tell you everything then, okay?”