She held the pail up for Dad and Ashley to see.
Ashley crossed her arms and huffed. “No one cares about your shells.”
Her dad gave her a look. “Ashley!”
She put her hand over her mouth. “Sorry.” She hadn’t actually meant for those words to cross from her heart over her lips. They were supposed to be for her insides only.
Her dad looked more hurt than angry. “That wasn’t very nice. Your sisters are excited about their shells.”
Tears were starting to come again. Ashley turned to her sisters. “I didn’t mean it.” She ordered her tears to stop. “It’s just . . . you two left me out all day. Every day.”
“You could’ve joined us anytime.” Brooke’s answer came quick.
Kari just looked down at the pail of shells. Like maybe she felt a little bad.
“We never left you out.” Brooke’s tone was impatient. “So don’t pout about it now.”
“I’m not pouting.” Ashley stood and stared at Brooke. “You’re being mean.”
“Girls!” Their dad wasn’t having any more of this. His tone made that clear. “That’s enough.”
Ashley couldn’t stay another minute. She held her journal tight and ran back upstairs. Once inside the house, she raced down the hallway to the spiral staircase.
If ever she needed her tree house it was now. But the rooftop lookout would have to do.
She sat on the little sofa. The beach was spread out like a painting and the clouds hung over her like an umbrella. Now that she was alone, Ashley couldn’t stop the tears.
This wonderful happy day was all ruined. Tears ran down her cheeks and onto her lips. They tasted salty and her heart felt heavy.
Words filled her soul and stayed there.
God, I feel so left out. All day I tried to be happy, but now . . . now I need help.
Sometimes she wished God would answer her out loud. Like maybe He could just sort of show up beside her and He could pat her head and tell her everything was going to be okay.
Ashley waited.
When that didn’t happen, she had another idea. She stood and opened the windows. All six of them. She breathed in big so that the air filled her whole lungs. Then she sat back down and closed her eyes. Are you there, God? The sound of the ocean waves filled the little room.
Yes. Ashley could feel God all around her. He was here. She was sure of it.
A few more tears ran down her face.
That wasn’t nice of Brooke and Kari. To desert her, and then brag about their shells. Rude. She hesitated. What am I supposed to do, God?
Choose to be happy.
Ashley opened her eyes. Was that God talking to her? Choose to be happy? Was that what He wanted her to do? She thought about that for a few minutes until she knew for sure.
Yes. That’s what God wanted. Just like earlier. She needed to decide to be happy. Even if Brooke and Kari didn’t ever include her the whole trip.
The sun was setting, spraying rays of light over the water. Ashley dried her cheeks and turned to a fresh page in her lined journal. There was something wonderful about a blank page. Even one with lines on it. Like God was giving her a new page in her heart, too.
Ashley began to draw.
She made a long line starting from the left side of the page to the right. The edge of the ocean. Little by little she filled in the water with waves and fish and a pair of dolphins, the kind of dolphin she wanted to be. Free and able to swim wherever they wanted and never get left out of anything. Then Ashley made a half circle above the water and sketched the sun rays coming out of it. She did a few clouds as well. One looked like a centipede.
Perfect.
She exhaled. Much better. She hated running away from everyone. Same way she had done the other night when they found out about the move. She looked at the sky. “I really have been going through a lot here, God.” She whispered the words out loud so God would be sure to hear them. “Any help would be greatly depreciated.”
She heard a noise behind her and turned around. “Daddy! You scared me.”
“Appreciated, Ashley. It’s appreciated. Not depreciated.” Her dad gave her a sad smile. “Mind if I sit?”
“No.” She wiped her nose. “Go ahead.”
“How do you feel?” He faced her.
“Better.” She still had her journal open. She held up her drawing. “I made this.”
“Wow.” Her father took the book and studied her artwork. “You’re very talented, Ashley.” He looked really impressed. “One day people will pay money for your work. I believe that.”
The compliment was like a gift straight to Ashley’s heart. She closed the book and looked at her dad. “Really?”
“Definitely.”
She smiled. “Thanks.”
Now her dad took a slow breath. “How your sisters spent the day”—his words were soft—“they weren’t trying to leave you out.” His smile had the truest kindness. “They were just having fun.”
“They only thought about themselves.” Ashley looked back at the waves.
“Maybe.” Her dad put his hand on her shoulder. “But they do love you very much. You know that.”
Ashley let that thought hang in her head for a few seconds. Then she nodded. “I know. They do love me.”
“Always remember that, Ash.” Dad stood and held his hand to her. “Come on. Time for dinner.”
The way her hand felt in his was safe and warm and good.
When they reached the long table in the dining room, Ashley walked over to Brooke and Kari. “I’m sorry.” She smiled. Her eyes were still a little wet, but she felt a lot better. “I really did have the best day with Mom and Erin.”
Everyone else was still setting the table, so the three girls had this minute to work things out. Kari set down a pair of forks. Then she turned and hugged her. “We didn’t mean to leave you out.”
“I know.” Ashley smiled. She was choosing happiness. Like God had reminded her. “We all do that sometimes.”
Brooke hugged her next. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She pointed to the bucket on the table in the next room. “And later tonight, I want you to show me your shells!”
After dinner, they had a bonfire with s’mores. Braden and Lilly’s family joined them, and everyone had a good time. Ashley was surprised that the family next door also loved to laugh and sing campfire songs. They were friendly.
But they didn’t seem as close as Ashley’s family. She wasn’t sure why. After her kind of day, Ashley was grateful for a family who stayed close because they talked through hurt feelings. Not every family had those talks. But she would do everything she could to make sure the Baxters always did.
That night when the lights were off in the room she shared with Brooke and Kari, Ashley thanked God for helping her feel better. Happiness really is a choice, God. I get that now. Great is Your faithfulness. Just like the song.
Just then Kari whispered from the bottom bunk. “Ashley?”
“Yes.” Ashley lowered her face over the edge. She kept her voice quiet so she wouldn’t wake up Brooke.
Kari smiled up at her. “Love you.”
Everything felt right again. Ashley smiled back at her sister. “Love you, too.”
As she fell asleep Ashley’s heart was full. She thought about the fun time with Erin and her mom, stomping on the sand castle and staring at the clouds. Also the way things had worked out with Brooke and Kari. And something else.
Ashley no longer felt invisible.
She felt loved.
13
The Sand Dollar
KARI
Kari still hadn’t found a sand dollar on the beach, and it was the last day of spring break. A sand dollar was the one thing she wanted to bring home. She made a decision to look later, before they packed up.
But first it was time to shop for souvenirs! After breakfast they piled into the car and headed to town. They were each allowed one thing—a hat or a T-shirt. A necklace.
Something small as a keepsake from their trip.
At the store they met up with Braden and Lilly’s family and all of them shopped together. The dads and Braden picked out T-shirts, but Luke wanted a baseball cap.
“Because I always have chicken hair.” He laughed. It was how their mother described Luke’s hair first thing in the morning. Or when he forgot to comb it.
All four girls and Lilly picked out shell necklaces. Each of them was beautiful and different.
“Because you’re all unique,” Kari’s mom said when she looked at their choices. “No two of you are the same. That’s good to remember.”
Kari liked that. She would remember her mom’s words whenever she wore her shell necklace.
Next the two families went to the arcade. It was on a sunny stretch of the street next to five more souvenir stores. Dad gave them each three dollars. “That’s for six games.”
He and Mom sat at a table with Braden and Lilly’s parents, who said something about being ready to go home. Dad seemed ready, too. But only because he was excited for his new job.
The only thing good about Bloomington, so far.
Dad waved to them as they headed for the games. “Have fun!”
Braden and Lilly, Brooke, Erin and Luke all ran to the Skee-Ball. But Kari had a different idea. She grinned at Ashley. “Let’s play Pac-Man!”
“Perfect.” Ashley ran for the nearest machine and Kari followed.
Pac-Man was the best game. Kari loved the way her heart raced when the little monsters chased her yellow guy. And then how they ran away when she swallowed up the big dots. Pac-Man was definitely her favorite.
But three rounds later Kari was losing to Ashley and ready for something else. She spotted the air hockey table at the other end of the arcade. “How about air hockey!”
“You sure you want to lose again?” Ashley laughed, her eyebrow raised.
Kari stuck out her chin and giggled. “Game on!” She loved that everything was good between them again.
The two of them ran to the air hockey table and grabbed their strikers.
“You start.” Ashley slid the puck Kari’s way. “I’ll go easy on you. At least at first.” Ashley spun her striker on the tabletop.
“Let’s do this!” Kari hit the puck toward Ashley. She was determined to win. But a minute later she was down by two goals.
“I call winner.” Braden came up behind Kari.
She stopped the puck and turned around. Her heart was still racing from the game. “Hi.” She smiled. “You’ll be playing Ashley, unless I can score.”
Braden laughed. “I’ll cheer for you.” He took a chair a few feet away so he could watch.
“What about me?” Ashley put her hands on her hips. “You better cheer for me, too.”
“I would”—Braden looked like he was enjoying this—“but you don’t seem to need a lot of help, Ashley.”
“True.” Kari made a silly face. “Come on. I’m ready to score here.” She slid the puck to Ashley and the game was back in motion. Soon enough they were tied. Game point.
“You got this, Kari.” Braden was on his feet.
Kari felt her confidence rise. A jolt of encouragement was just what she needed. Ashley served the puck and they hit it back and forth. Whack! Kari hit the puck to Ashley’s side, it curved alongside the wall and slowed down.
Thwap! Ashley hit it back to Kari. “Aha!”
The puck came zooming toward her. Kari’s eyes locked on it as it bounced from one side to the other. She hit it hard, one last time. The puck flew across the table, a seamless, perfect line toward the goal, and slid straight into the slot.
“Yes! Score!” Kari threw her hands up. “I won!”
“No!” Ashley collapsed on the table. Always dramatic. “I call rematch!”
“Nice, Kari!” Braden high-fived her and made his way over to Ashley. “No rematch, sorry. I play winner.”
“Fine.” Ashley looked tired. But she didn’t seem to care too much that she’d lost. She handed her striker to Braden. “I surrender.”
He took it and slid the puck toward Kari. His eyes made her feel like they’d been friends for a long time. “Here we go!”
Whack!
A thought occurred to Kari as the game began. She would always remember this spring break. And a neighbor boy who in just a week became one of her favorite friends.
• • •
Early the next morning, Kari and her family packed up their things, and then the kids ran down to play in the surf one last time. Everyone but Kari. Instead, she pulled up a chair next to her mom in the shade and sat down. Kari was too sunburned to be in the water.
Her mom looked up from the book she was reading. “Kari, your poor cheeks. They’re still so red.” She smiled. “Glad you’re staying out of the sun.”
“It’s for the best.” Kari could feel that her smile wasn’t her biggest. She’d rather be in the ocean. But being here with her mom was best this time. She stared down the beach. The other kids looked like they were getting tired. Wrapping towels around themselves.
“Such a great trip.” Mom took a relaxed breath. “Seems like everyone’s ready to get back home.”
Kari wasn’t so sure. There would be a FOR SALE sign in their grass when they pulled up. No one wanted to see that. She turned and looked next door. Braden and Lilly were packing up their towels and beach chairs. “I think I’ll go say goodbye to the neighbors.”
“Okay.” Her mom looked back at her book. “Don’t go far. We’re leaving soon.”
Kari nodded and set off. Her heart felt heavy and a little sad. She really liked Braden and Lilly. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Up on the road she heard Braden’s dad yell for the kids. “Braden . . . Lilly. Time to go!”
So far neither of them had noticed Kari walking up. But now Braden turned and saw her. He set down the two chairs he was carrying. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Kari looked up the hill for Lilly. “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah. In a few hours.” Braden squinted in the bright sunlight. “Long trip ahead.”
“Us, too. My dad’s loading up the car.” Kari grinned and did a little shrug. “It’s been fun.”
“The best.” He looked like he wasn’t sure what to say. “Maybe we’ll see each other again here. Some spring break.”
“Maybe.” Kari saw Lilly walk out the back door of their house. She ran down the hill toward them.
At the same time, Brooke walked up. She had a towel around her and she stood next to Kari.
Lilly was out of breath when she came up beside Braden. “Goodbyes are sad.” She hugged Brooke and then Kari. “Thanks for hanging out with us.”
“It was fun.” Brooke stepped back beside Kari.
They stood there in silence, all four of them. “It’s weird.” Braden shrugged. “We might never see each other again.”
He was right. Kari felt a little sick to her stomach because the goodbyes were coming. Now, and at the end of the school year. So many goodbyes. And there was nothing they could do about them.
Braden pulled something from his pocket. “Here . . .” He held up a sand dollar and gave it to Kari. “I found this on the beach earlier. It’s for you.” He smiled. “So you can remember us when you get back to Michigan.”
A sand dollar.
Kari couldn’t believe it. She ran her thumb over the surface of the shell and looked at Braden again. “Thanks.” Their eyes held for a few seconds. “I won’t forget you.” She turned to Lilly. “You, either.”
Lilly and Brooke were quiet. Like none of them wanted the moment to end.
“Braden, Lilly.” His dad called loud from the back of the house. “Let’s go.”
“It’s time.” Braden rocked back and forth on his toes. He took a step toward Kari and hugged her. Super quick. “Have fun in Indiana. And sorry for crashing into you on that first day.”
Kari laughed at the memory. “See you, Braden.”
“See you later.” He gave her and Brook
e a last smile and then jogged up the hill. Lilly said goodbye to both of them, too, and did the same. And that was that.
Spring break was over.
But as Kari and her family loaded up the car and headed back to Ann Arbor, she knew one thing for sure. If she could make such good friends in one week, then she could make new friends anywhere.
Even in a place like Bloomington, Indiana.
14
Samson the Butterfly
ASHLEY
Finally it was spring in Ann Arbor, and this week Ashley’s class was hatching eight cocoons, which were set up in an aquarium with twigs and leaves and rocks. Every day they checked on them to see if they were about to become butterflies.
Ashley could see the cocoons very well because they sat on the windowsill, closest to her desk. Which was why she was having the most difficult time actually listening to Miss Wilson.
Her teacher was talking about a new spelling word. Pervasive. That was the word today. Miss Wilson wanted all of them to practice using it in a sentence at home. Or maybe it was a different word. Ashley wasn’t totally sure.
Because . . . the cocoons.
Ashley put her chin in her hands and stared at the aquarium where they were. It must be so tight in those cocoons. What would a caterpillar be thinking all smashed in such a small space and not able to—
All the sudden one of the cocoons moved. Ashley jumped to her feet. “Miss Wilson!” She waved both hands over her head, her eyes fixed on the cocoon. “It’s moving! One of them is moving.”
With this, Ashley’s whole class, including Miss Wilson, ran over to watch. Ashley had a front-row seat, which was the best part of the moment. She saved a spot for Lydia right next to her.
“Wow.” Lydia pressed her face close to the glass. “I think you’re right. It’s moving.”
“It’s not moving, Baxter.” Eric Powers was right behind them. He laughed. “You’re seeing things.”
Ashley turned around very slowly, so Eric would know that he was not making her happy. “It’s Ashley.” She lowered her chin and stared straight at him. “Not Baxter. And you’re on thin ice here.”
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