Haveachat with Les Shipp

by Les Shipp

hearsay. In a way I have come close to it a few times in my life. The first one was when I was fourteen years old. I had just read the life story of Adam Lyndsay Gordon, the writer. Evidently he was he was a very fine horseman and slightly mad. One of his tricks was to dare other horsemen to keep up with him in a game of follow the leader. He was such a daring rider that no one was able to keep up with him until one day a great rider took up the challenge.

  Gordon did everything he could to shake off the challenger but to no avail. He had kept one trick up his sleeve to beat his opponent. There was a wooden fence along the top of a cliff which had a drop on the other side of several hundred feet. On the other side of the fence was a narrow ledge about five foot wide. Legend has it that Gordon jumped this fence and his brilliant brave horse was able to corkscrew his body in mid-air and land on the ledge. His challenger declined to follow.

  At fourteen years old this more than impressed me and while out on my horse one day I came across a situation that presented what I thought was an equally challenging feat. There wasn’t any fence but there was a cliff and to get down the face of the cliff you had to jump your horse from one ledge to another. My horse had a lot of courage and made the leap. Unfortunately he lost his footing on landing and we both went over the edge. There was about twenty feet of steep slope before the shear drop. We tumbled over and over down the slope until we landed at the base of a tree just on the edge of the shear drop. I was pinned under my horse as he struggled to get to his feet and my last memory of this event was seeing a rather large hoof heading straight for my face.

  I was in and out of consciousness for about a week. Where we lived was too isolated to think about a doctor or a hospital. The only thing I can remember as I lay on my bed on the open veranda was coming out of the fog for a short while and seeing one of our neighbours staring down at me. His comment was, “I always knew he would come to a sticky end one day.” I was in so much pain the only thought I had was, “Up yours too”.

  The next strange experience I had was in my early twenties when one day I was out on the station where I worked and I was cutting noxious weeds. My mind certainly wasn’t on the job as I tossed around in my mind the journey to Europe I was about to embark on. I was anxious as I had never really travelled and I became increasingly doubtful of my plans. At that moment I will swear to this day that I heard a strong calm voice say to me, “If you don’t do this you will regret it for ever more”. There was no other person within miles of me but I knew I had a message from somewhere.

  My next experience was in my forties I had major heart surgery. I was never out of my body but I was given pethidine for pain and as I lay there unable to move, gargoyles were leering down at me from the ceiling. I would have liked to have left my body behind at this stage.

  My last experience was in hospital after a very nasty accident off a horse with many broken bones. I was in my seventies by this time so I didn’t think I was fanciful. In the early hours of the morning I was in a lot of pain when my brother came to stand at the foot of my bed. I said to him,” Thank goodness you have come, take me with you”. He clearly replied, “No mate you’re going to be ok, it’s not your time yet.” My brother had died a few years earlier.

  ABSENT FRIENDS.

  We often speak about our friends in a light kind of way but how many true friends do we have. When we see a film star throwing a party for 2000 of their closest friends it is a farce.

  I have hundreds of acquaintances but my friends I treasure because they are few and far between. Some friends are there for the moment and they fade as time passes, and there are the ones that are with you for the long haul. These are the ones you treasure and although they may be far away you know they are thinking of you from time to time. A letter or an email might arrive.

  The most enduring friendship I have made was with an Irish girl I met and married 1958. The friendship has seen us through many a rough patch over the last 56 years and I am sure it will still be there in the end.

  In the 37 years we ran an equestrian centre in Tamworth we met a lot of people and the friendships we formed with some of them have lasted a long time. We had one rider who rode with us for ten years. Every Sunday morning she would turn up for her ride or a lesson that went from ten am till noon. She always turned up at nine am in case she could give us a hand and it didn’t matter what the weather was like, even down to torrential rain or snow, she always turned up. She wasn’t a child, being in her late thirties when she started with us but she had more enthusiasm than most children. Eventually she became so proficient that we would load up an extra horse on dressage competition days and she would compete along with us. We had many functions at the centre and she would organize a lot of the practical bits for the event. We had many happy times with her and at times with her family. The name we gave her was zoom zoom as she always did things at high speed.

  She was devastated when we told her we were selling the property and moving on but being able to buy the favourite horse she was fond of helped the parting. We receive a letter or email from her every important date like birthdays, Christmas and even our wedding anniversary.

  Recently she and her family were in Brisbane to visit her sister and as a treat her grown up son drove his parents the two hours north to visit us. When she arrived she burst into tears and cried, “I thought I would never see you again”. Being an absent friend hadn’t hurt this friendship.

  We have several absent friends and from time to time we hear from them. In these letters it often ends with, “When are you coming home”. I’m sure if we went back there it would be like we had never left.

  It is hard to make new friends as you get older so look after the ones you have even if they are absent friends.

  BAD HAIR DAY, WHY OH WHY.

  Why oh why do people follow fashion when it just does not suit them. One in question is the hipster jeans. It looks ok on a tall slim young girl even if it does leave a bare patch between jeans and their top, resulting most likely in a chill in the kidneys. On anyone else other than the slim and trim one wonders if they have a mirror at home or if they do are they able to see themselves. The jeans sitting half way down their bum allows great roles of fat to bulge over the top of the jeans at the back and a well-endowed belly hanging over the front. With most of the fatties you can see the beginning of a crack or a garment called a thong. Not a pretty sight.

  On the young men the crutch of the jeans is placed half way between their crutch and their knees giving them the appearance from behind that someone has given them a mighty kick up the rear-end causing them considerable damage. It also gives them a slovenly look and I ask myself why oh why they do it.

  The other fashion that is followed religiously by a great number of men is the wind in the hair look, even those who seem to be well past it. They go to no end of trouble with moose and other methods to make their hair look really messy. It is a thought though, it appears to eliminate the worry of a bad hair day for the followers. It would also take away the worry of wind in their hair or when they take their bike helmets off, is their hair ok. Although it could be a problem if the helmet flattens it. No end of worry about their hair. It looks strange to see a well-dressed man with his hair in every which way.

  Ladies also try to get in on the act of a bad hair day but unfortunately on them it really does look like a bad hair day. One that has gone very wrong.

  Another why oh why fashion which eliminates the bad hair day is the bald look. If they want to look ten years older that’s ok but if I had lots if hair I would not go down that path.

  A fashion amongst ladies which seems to be getting more prevalent is the red ink treatment which gives them a look as if they have tipped a bottle of red ink over their hair giving them rather a garish look.To me it gives them a very harsh appearance and better suited to the wicked witch of the west.

  However who am I to have an opinion on such matters for I am no fashion guru, but like the person in the art gallery said as they view the paintings
,” I do not know much about art but I know what I like.”

  WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG.?

  Joe had arranged to meet his girlfriend at her home by mid-afternoon the next day. They planned to have a special dinner at an upmarket restaurant that evening before catching a train to Sydney where they had booked a two weeks cruise around the south pacific islands. Shirl had gone to a lot of trouble making sure there were no hiccups to spoil their plans.

  Shirl lived in a town that was a five hour drive from where Joe lived, but he figured if he left early the drive would be a breeze, and he would arrive in good time, relaxed and ready for the adventure.

  Joe was so excited the next morning as he set off early as decided. He was so excited in fact he was several kilometres down the road when he realised he had left in such a rush he had forgotten to put his luggage in the car. There was nothing for it but to dash back home to collect his gear. His mother was up by the time he arrived back home, and she wasn’t in a good mood. He had forgotten to put the garbage out last night. Could be worse he thought as he wheeled the bin out to the front gate. Cranky old bugger he thought.

  At the next town he thought he had better get a fill up of petrol. As he got out of his