“She wants marriage and babies, and how can I give her that when we’re so far apart. I…”
“Dumb asshole.” Daphne’s growl has me looking up to see her trying to hide to the side of the open doorway.
“I can see your big nose poking into my business,” I call out.
Stepping into the room, she flips me off as she tells me, “I was wrong. She deserves better, and it’s your loss.” With that she walks out, still giving me the finger.
“Who are you working so hard for, Adam?” Nanna ignores Daphne’s outburst, focusing back on me as she continues stroking Percy. The damn thing is snoring so fucking loud the silver cutlery is practically vibrating on the table. “Who is it all for?”
“The family.”
With a shake of her head, she tuts at me. “So intelligent and yet so darn stupid.”
“I’m not stupid.” I grab my phone and stand.
She’s my grandmother and I love her to no end, but I am not going to sit here and let her insult me.
“Sure you are. Who do you think has to make the family? I’m gonna die one of these days, and eventually so will your mom and dad, then what? What family are you sacrificing your happiness for?” Picking Percy up, she sets him on the table much to his contentment as he heads straight for the leftover salad bowl. “God, it’s common sense. If you don’t want to die filthy rich and alone, you’ll have to marry someday. If you want to enjoy all your hard work, make it worthwhile, you’ll want to shower all of this on your children. Build your own home and fill it with all the memories you have in this one.”
Grabbing the pig to a loud squeal, I look around as I put him down on the floor. Sure enough, the room is full of memories. Good and bad and everything in between.
“The trouble here is that for someone that works so hard and understands the value of all you’ve been given, somehow you expected love to come easy. Everyone does—they make plans and expect it all to roll out nicely like a pre-woven tapestry. But that’s never going to happen.”
“Okay,” I humor her. She thinks she has it all figured out, but clearly she hasn’t thought of the consequences of any of her words. “So I move and live happily ever after with Amelia.” I can’t help but smile at that. The statement is the only thing that’s made sense the last two days, since I left her. But I have responsibilities and expectations. “Who takes over from Dad?”
“You, of course,” she scoffs, using the chair to help her stay upright.
“How can I run a New York business from the other side of the world?”
“Isn’t that why technology exists? How do you do your job when you’re traveling? I might be old, but I’m not as silly as you think. Besides, who’s to say that your girl won’t want to move here? There’s such a thing as compromise.”
There’s no point in arguing with her because we’re going around in circles, like a broken record, and at the end of it all, I already know what I want. Nanna is right—I’m trying to find an excuse to make the sting of the possibility that I’ve fucked it up hurt a little less. Even if I know it won’t. This could be my lifelong regret, no matter how I try to pad it out.
“It was one week,” I tell her with a sigh.
“A wonderful week from the way you’re smiling about it.” Grasping my sweater, she tugs me closer to her so she can hug me. “I met your grandfather on a Thursday. The weather was awful, raining so much that the two hours my mother spent fixing my hair were for nothing. I was a dripping rat by the time we walked from halfway down the Cohens’ drive to their front door. My mother was mortified, and your great-nonna didn’t know what to say.” She looks up at me fondly with her bright blue eyes, cupping my cheek with genuine affection. “Eli and I were betrothed a week later and married a month after that. They were the best sixty-one years of my life.” A tear collects in the corner of her eye, and I hug her closer to me.
It’s not the first time she’s told me about their arranged marriage. Back in her day, that was just how the community worked. People were introduced and hopefully they would like each other enough to get married.
“When all is said and done, Adam, we want you to be happy. I think you’ve made this family more than enough money to last a lifetime, don’t you?” Blinking her tears away, she beams up at me. “You know, I loved your grandfather from the moment our parents closed the door and left us sitting on opposite sides of the dining room table. Eli was so handsome, just like you with his curly hair and straight nose. Even back then he was never one to follow the rules. He sat next to me, so close that I’m certain he could hear my heart race at how awed I was by his presence.”
Hugging her as close as possible, I press a kiss to the top of her head, like she used to do to me when I was little and hurting. From the moment Grandad died, it was obvious her heart broke, and the fact that she still manages to have so much love and affection for us all is a true testament to her strength and tenacity.
He always said that she was the most stubborn and formidable weapon in his arsenal, and I’m beginning to understand why. Beneath all the softness, she’s made of steel and so grounded that when you’re in her presence, everything really does seem like it will work out. Anything is possible.
All those things are exactly what I love about Amelia. In nine days she made that cottage feel like home. In the short time we spent together, she made me want things I wasn’t aware I wanted so badly. Amelia made me want to stay when nothing and no one has ever made me want that.
“The first thing your grandfather said to me was ‘at least you don’t have a big Jewish nose.’ That was it, I knew that if he could make me laugh at a time when I was so terrified of what my life was going to become, he would make me laugh every damn day for the rest of it.”
There it is—if after nine days all I want is to go back to Amelia, I know that she’s all I’ll ever want for the rest of our lives.
“What do you want, my boy?” she asks, hobbling back to look up at me without craning her neck.
“Oh,” Daphne scoffs, walking into the room with Mom’s dessert in her hand. “Considering how much of an idiot he’s being about this and how little he tried to convince her that he’s worth rewriting the fairy tale for…”
Ugh, of course she’s been listening to the whole conversation.
Leveling me with a challenging smirk, she says, “Adam wants to end up with a nice Jewish girl that mom will set him up with, and he’ll be hopelessly miserable forever and ever.”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re fucking melodramatic?”
She ignores me. “Meanwhile, Amelia will eventually move on, and a worthy man will win her over. She’ll get her happy ending with someone who will give her the wedding of her dreams and cute babies.”
I hate it. The picture she’s painted and the fact that she’s right. Daphne has an awkward mix of softness and bluntness that has a way of getting under your skin. She’s that person that will kill you with kindness.
The longer the three of us stand in silence, the harder my heart thunders in my chest. As much as I love them, I need to get out of here. I need space to think and figure shit out and fix my idiotic fuckup. The only problem is, I also have to find a way of getting through to Amelia.
“I have to go,” I tell them, already heading for the door and only stopping to kiss Mom goodbye.
“Don’t drive like an ass!” Nanna yells after me.
Getting into my car, I check my phone, and when I see the email notification, it really does feel like all the Christmases I’ve ever missed have come at once.
14
Amelia
Making my way through arrivals, I spot Seb straightaway. He’s the goofball standing amongst the crowd with a sign saying “Santa’s Little Helper.” Shaking my head at his lame joke, I rush over to him and fling my arms around his shoulders. He smells like home, and it brings me a little comfort.
“Woah, steady on, Mills. Let me breathe,” he jokes, giving me one last squeeze before pulling back and
throwing his homemade sign into the trash. “Good flight, kiddo?”
“I’ve had worse,” I joke, as he takes my wheelie case from me and leads me toward the exit. It’s hard not to notice the female heads that turn in his direction as he strolls across the airport, although he appears oblivious. With his dirty-blond hair and lean physique, he’s never short of female attention.
“Figured we’d grab some breakfast before heading home. You up for that?” he asks, as we make our way to his car. His ostentatious McLaren GT stands out a mile away, and I shake my head as we move toward it. Boys and their toys.
“Breakfast sounds good. I’m starving,” I admit, as he loads my case into the trunk. I haven’t eaten since the pastry at the airport, when Adam’s text had me losing my appetite.
“You’re always starving, Mills.”
Rolling my eyes, I slip into the passenger seat and sigh. Home sweet home. London is amazing, but LA is where my heart is. Or what’s left of it.
“You gonna tell me what gives?” Seb asks, breaking me out of my daydream.
“What?” I look at him over my ridiculous stack of chocolate chip pancakes that I’ve been pushing around the plate for the last twenty minutes while trying to dissect Adam’s text.
“Your festive spirit is low, and your appetite has vanished. This isn’t you. Where’s my annoying, Christmas-obsessed baby sister?” Pinning me with a look of concern on his face, he sits back in his chair as though he’s trying to see the bigger picture of what’s sitting in front of him.
Seb knows me better than anyone, except maybe Kate, and I try to smile to brush it off. I’m not ready to get into my heartbreak with my big brother just yet. He’ll make a bigger deal out of it that will only make me feel shittier even if he is trying to help and be the protective older brother. I’ll never forget that one time in high school when he blocked one of my ex’s exhaust pipes and blew up the engine after he tried to break up with me because I wouldn’t blow him in it. I’d rather suffer in silence than have to talk him out of doing something stupid. Knowing him, he’d get on the first flight to New York and track Adam down. What would ensue would not only probably get him arrested, but would make me look like even more of a crazy person than Adam already thinks I am. Only it wouldn’t just be about Christmas.
“Strawbs?” He calls me by the nickname our nanny gave me when we were little. She used to say that my fondness of strawberries is what turned my hair red. Something that stuck because it’s Seb go-to for when he’s being serious.
When I don’t reply, he tilts his head to the side so that he can catch my eyes. “What’s going on? You’re a million miles away.”
“I’m here,” I lie. “Just stressed. Work’s been hectic. It’s been insane with Christmas, but it’ll quieten down now.”
Shoveling a forkful of pancakes into my mouth to appease him, I try to give him my best smile.
Chocolate chip pancakes are usually my favorite, but right now I can’t even taste them. My mind is elsewhere, mourning the loss of Adam. Everything else around me seems to fade into the background while my heart tries to piece itself back together.
I can tell he doesn’t buy it, but one of the many things I love about my brother is that he won’t push me if he senses I’m not ready to talk about something.
“Okay…well, eat up. I figured we could stop by the Santa Monica Pier on the way back. I know how much you love it at Christmas.”
Pulling a funny face, he grabs his fork and spears a bit of pancake before trying to feed me. Just like that, for the first time since everything went to hell, I laugh at his stupid airplane noise and train chug as I try to avoid the fork he’s weaving around in front of my mouth. Only he could do something silly enough to make me smile even when it hurts.
Santa Monica Pier. There’s truly nothing like it. Seb used to bring me here every weekend. He’d let me tag along with him and his friends, never complaining about how I was an inconvenience. It was our time to talk about the events of the week and just be a family. Our parents weren’t around much, so he tried to pick up the slack where he could, and I’ll be forever grateful for that. It’s why we’re so close now. He’s the best man I know.
Paying the vendor for two hot dogs, Seb passes me one, saying, “I know we had breakfast—well, I did, you just played with yours. But it’s tradition.” He grins at me, and for a second I’m looking at teenage Seb, my hero and best friend. Taking a bite out of the hot dog, I groan as the mustard and sweet meaty flavor hit my tongue. This was always one of my favorite parts of our trip. Hot dogs before we left were a real treat. We walk along the pier in a comfortable silence, enjoying the atmosphere around us and each other’s company.
“Seb!” a voice shouts from behind, and we spin round to see Harrison, one of Seb’s best friends, jogging over to us.
“Harry!” he says, while giving him one of those handshake turned man hugs that guys do. “Mills, you remember Harrison, right? I’m sure half the reason you liked to come to the pier with me so much is because you knew he’d be here too.” He sends me a smirk, and my cheeks flush while Harrison laughs at Seb’s antics.
I may have crushed on Harrison when I was younger, but that ship has truly sailed. Honestly, he’s nothing like Adam. I mentally chastise myself for comparing other men to Adam. He’s gone, and I need to stop setting myself up for disappointment.
Harrison says his goodbyes, getting back to his date, while Seb and I continue on our way.
“You know, I thought he was cute, sure. But the real reason I loved our pier trips was because you made me feel wanted. And I guess, with the way Mom and Dad were, I never truly felt that unless it was from you.” I don’t look up, not wanting to see his reaction. I just want to make sure he knows how much I love him and appreciate everything he has done for me.
His hand slips into mine and gives it a squeeze.
“I know, Mills. And you were always wanted by me. Always.”
I lean in to rest my head on his shoulder, and we speak no more of the past, instead focusing on the here and now.
Spotting the colorful merry-go-round up ahead, I smile as memories of riding on the horses when I was a kid fill my mind.
“Want a go?” he asks, nodding to the merry-go-round. I smile but shake my head.
“No, it’s okay,” I say, taking the last bite of my hot dog and throwing the wrapper in the trash.
“Come on, kiddo. I’ll even ride with you,” he offers, grabbing my hand and leading me to the carousel. My head snaps up at his comment.
“What? Really?” I ask, looking at him dubiously. Seb’s never ridden it with me, no matter how many times I begged and gave him my puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah,” he sighs, dramatically. “I’ve got to do something to put that smile back on your face.”
My heart swells. There truly is no better man than my brother. No matter how low I’m feeling, he always has my back. A mother, father, and brother in one. I’d be lost without him.
Squealing far too excited, I throw my arms around him before pulling back and running toward the ride. “Come on, I’ll show you my favorite horses.”
Groaning as he follows me far less enthusiastically, I laugh as I hear him mutter, “What have I gotten myself into?”
Slade is blaring out of the sound system in the lounge as I help Seb decorate the Christmas tree. He went all out this year and got a seven-footer. It’s gorgeous, and I forget everything for a while as we decorate it and laugh about stupid things. This will always be my favorite tradition.
Seb’s Hollywood Hills home is decked out in festive decorations. With twinkle lights framing every doorway, red and green tinsel twisted along the fireplace and our named stockings, it looks perfect. We’ve made cookies and mulled wine, the house smells divine, and for a moment I find myself back in the cottage, baking with Adam. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I get back to the task at hand, making my Christmas tree masterpiece. Right now, I almost manage to convince myself that everything is as
it should be.
The tree is almost done, and I think it’s our best yet. It’s decked from head to toe in red beads, with ornaments everywhere you look. Each one brings back a memory of a previous year. It’s perfect…almost. Remembering my new addition, I run to my room and fling open my suitcase, rifling through the contents until I find Adam’s gift. Heading back to the lounge, I take the ornament out of the box and manage a sad smile. Hanging it at the side of the tree, I laugh at how lewd but festive it is. Ignoring the pang in my chest at the thought of Adam, I wonder what he’s doing now?
Seb walks over with another glass of mulled wine, breaking me out of my thoughts. Handing the glass to me, he spots the new addition and does a comical double take.
“What the fuck is that?” he asks, horrified by the reindeer monstrosity.
“Long story,” I say with a sad smile. I’m grateful that my phone chooses that moment to start ringing. I don’t particularly want to explain what happened while I was stranded in a cottage in the middle of nowhere to my big brother.
Smiling when I see Kate’s name flashing up on the screen, I answer it and move into the kitchen.
“Hey! Happy Holidays!” I sing down the phone, thinking to myself that I should probably slow down on the alcohol, not that it stops me from pouring myself another.
“Happy Holidays, Mills,” she says. “Is it nice to be home?”
“Yeah, it’s great to see Seb and decorate his place like usual. Missing you though. How’re you and Rich?” I ask, leaning against Seb’s breakfast bar and taking a sip of my creation.
“We’re good. Just about to head to my mum’s, but I wanted to check in with you first,” she says. She sounds a bit off, but I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into things. After all, I’ve had one too many mulled wines, and my emotions are all over the place at the moment.
Love 2 Jingle U: A Sweet Vine Christmas Romance Page 14