“Then you’ll have to do it without me.” Jenna looked away.
Dave looked at her and stood up. “I guess I’ll have to.”
That night, Dave packed a bag and drove to the White Willow. It was late, and the front door was locked. He rang the bell, and it didn’t take long before someone answered the door.
“Hey, Dave!” Surprised, Sam offered Dave a hand. “What’s up, man? Come in, come in.”
Dave shook Sam’s hand. “I need a room.”
Chapter 21
Dave took the beer that Sam handed him as they sat by the garden.
“Wanna talk about it?” Sam asked.
“Cheers,” Dave said, as he took a swig. Dave inspected the bottle in his hand—not that he was reading the label or anything. “I don’t know, man.”
“What’s going on?”
He shook his head. Where would he begin? “The million-dollar question. Let’s just say everything.” Dave leaned back into his chair. “It’s all a mess.”
“Where’s Jenna?”
“At home—probably returned to vacuuming and dusting.”
Sam looked at him with raised eyebrows.
Dave shook his head. “Long story.” Talking about it—not just with Sam, but with anyone—made it feel like he was betraying Jenna. It was funny how women could talk to each other about their relationship woes. Women seemed to have a great camaraderie like that. And yet with men—men don’t talk. They joke and banter or maybe sulk. But men don’t—aren’t supposed to—talk. His mother’s voice echoed in his head, Stop whining, David, and take it like a man.
“Dave?” Amy popped her head from behind the French doors. She stepped out on to the deck and tightened the robe around her waist. “Is everything okay?”
Dave stood up and gave Amy a peck on the cheek.
“Sit down,” she said as she put a hand on his shoulder. “Please, sit.”
“Sorry to barge in on you so late at night, Amy,” he said.
Amy furrowed her brows. “Don’t be silly, you haven’t barged in at all. And you’re welcome to come any time. You know that,” Amy said. “What’s happened? I thought everything was going so well?”
What Jenna didn’t know was that Dave had been working in cahoots with everyone. Jenna’s mom, Lorraine, had agreed to look after the kids for the two weeks. Amy and Sam agreed to take the children to and from school, and back to Lorraine’s each day. Charlotte and Ben—in spite of waiting of the babies to come—had offered to be on call for anything that Dave needed.
Amy was right. Everything was going well until it wasn’t.
In exactly seven days, it would be their thirteenth wedding anniversary. And he wanted to make it special for Jenna. Looks like it wasn’t happening. Lucky thirteen.
Then
AS THEY SAT ON THE porch swing in her parent’s house, Jenna laid comfortably against Dave’s chest as she relished the feeling of being in his arms. Tomorrow, she would be Mrs. Jenna Stewart, wife of Dr. Dave Stewart, and future mother of mini Daves and Jennas—however many there might be.
Everything she had ever hoped for was finally happening.
She imagined what tomorrow—and the tomorrows thereafter—would bring. “We’ll have a house of our own,” she mused.
“Mm-hmm.” Dave ran his fingers across the length of her arms.
“And we’ll have a white picket fence!”
“Don’t you think white will get dirty really quickly?”
“We can always repaint it when it does. But it’s got to be white!” She looked up at him and played with his stubbled chin. “And then we can host barbecues for our friends... and family of course. And we’ll invite your mother.”
“She’s going to be your mother too,” Dave laughed.
“And in winter, we could cuddle by the fire.”
“Mmm... that sounds amazing.”
Jenna smiled as she thought of hanging the washing out on the clothesline. She wanted to use the old-fashioned wooden clothespins, if she could find them. Maybe even make her own laundry detergent and fabric softener. Only the best for her family. “You’ll need to help me with the gardens though. You can mow the lawns and I’ll trim the flowers!”
Dave lifted a thumb. “What if I don’t have a green thumb?”
“You don’t need a green thumb to mow grass. You just need to push the lawnmower—strong arms are all you’ll need.”
“And we both know I’ve got those.” Dave flexed his arms for show.
Jenna laughed. “And I’ll cook the most amazing dinners—pot roast, coronation chicken, mac ‘n cheese for the children. And I’ll keep it warm and ready for when you get back from work.”
“What about you?” Dave stroked her hair. “Don’t you want to work?”
“I’ll be looking after the children,” Jenna said. “Maybe when they’re older.”
“You could still do theater, you know.”
Jenna shrugged. “Family will be my priority.”
“And you,”—Dave brought a finger to the top of her nose—“will always be my number one.”
Jenna sighed and closed her eyes.
“I guess I should get going,” Dave said. “Tomorrow’s a big day for both of us. And Mom’s alone at the B&B.” Dave was staying at the White Willow Bed and Breakfast on Ferry Road, where he had booked a room for his mother as well.
Jenna smiled up at him. “Don’t go,” she pleaded. “Stay a little longer.” Jenna was spending the night in her family home.
“It’s you and me, baby.” Dave held Jenna in an embrace as she looked up at him. “From now on, it’s you and me.” He kissed her forehead.
Now
JENNA CURLED UP ON the sofa and cried into a pillow. That was it. He was gone. She wished that she could be more supportive of his dreams, but this—this was unreasonable! He was being unreasonable. It was unwise to just walk away from everything they had built in exchange for such uncertainty.
She wasn’t sure what she needed to do, but she couldn’t chase him. No. As much as she wanted to fight for her family, her children needed a stable home.
He’d broken his promise. He’d walked out.
Jenna woke to the front door opening. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was after midnight. She sat up and finger-combed her hair.
Dave walked in and put his key in the bowl. “Hi,” he said when he spotted her on the sofa. “Sorry to wake you.”
“Uh, no—that’s alright. I should’ve gone up to the bedroom earlier.” Whether she was waiting for him to return, she wasn’t sure.
“I guess—uh—I guess I should sleep in the guest room tonight.”
Jenna nodded. “Okay.”
Dave stood with his hands in his pocket.
No further words were spoken that night. The emotion-filled air that hung between them was enough.
“Goodnight,” Dave said as he turned and walked up the stairs.
“Goodnight,” Jenna said.
Chapter 22
The next week went by like a dream—or a nightmare; take your pick. Each morning flowed by without incident. Jenna instinctively took the role of getting the children ready for school, and Dave helped by making breakfast.
They danced around like a perfect tango performance. There was no way that anyone could tell what they’d just been through. Afternoons were filled with cleaning, cooking—baking, even. Chocolate chip cookies. Cinnamon rolls. Brownies. Anything to keep her busy, while Dave pottered around in the tool shed or went out for a run. He’d gone out a couple of times, but Jenna never dared to ask. It was poetry in motion—a perfect dance between two strangers.
Things hadn’t been easy, but Jenna knew they could have been worse. Dave could have left home and never returned. But even if he was home, Dave slept in the guest bedroom. Things weren’t the same. Not that she had any delusions that they could be the same, but a small part of her broke with every day that passed.
After the kids boarded the school bus, Jenna walked back up the
driveway, her arms desperately clinging to herself as she listlessly kicked the season’s fallen leaves aside.
Her mother had recovered well from the stroke, and despite having to relearn a few things, she was returning home that day. Dave had offered to pick her up and bring her back home. While Jenna wanted to pretend she didn’t need his help, she was grateful for it.
As she walked up to the front door, Dave came out.
“Oops—sorry,” she said, as she tried to step aside.
Dave caught her by the waist.
Jenna looked into Dave’s eyes, and her heart banged against her chest.
Dave didn’t let go. “Jenna,” he said.
She put her hands over his to release herself from his grasp, but he pulled her closer to him.
“Jenna,” he said again. “Let’s not do this.”
Jenna looked away, avoiding the heat of his gaze. She wanted him to pull her close, kiss her lips, and carry her away. She wanted him to tell her that it was all a bad dream and that they were the perfect family she thought they were. “Dave, don’t...”
“Don’t what?” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m nothing without you, Jenna. I’m dying inside.” He kissed her cheek and buried his face alongside her neck. “I need you in my life.”
Jenna closed her eyes and breathed in the scent that always weakened her.
Dave kissed her neck gently.
Goosebumps rose along her neck as she arched her back to receive his kisses. “We can’t keep—”
“Don’t say it,” Dave kissed her lips shut. “Let’s talk tonight.”
And with that, Jenna watched as the love of her life got into his car to pick up her mother. For better or worse. That’s what they’d promised each other.
DAVE GOT INTO THE CAR and smiled at Jenna from behind the wheel. He was glad that she hadn’t pushed him away. But he knew in his heart that this phase in their lives was far from being fixed.
“I love you,” Dave mouthed. He pulled out of the driveway and honked his horn as he waved to Jenna.
“I’m going to make it up you, Jen,” he mumbled he drove off. “We’ll get through this,” he said to himself with a sigh.
Dave pulled up into his designated parking space at the hospital. He got out and made his way to pick up Jenna’s mom. Lorraine hadn’t needed surgery and was lucky that the stroke was a minor one—as far as strokes go. Although he knew that in spite of the medical success Lorraine had just experienced, the weight of it would hang heavily on Jenna’s shoulders.
For as long as he could remember, Jenna’s relationship with her mother had always been a rocky one. Despite Jenna’s carefree ways, there was something that always made her feel as if she wasn’t enough when it came to her mother. It’s always about my perfect brothers, Jenna once told him. I swear, in her eyes, they can do no wrong.
As he made his way to Room 212, Dave thought about what he could do to minimize the stress on Jenna. He’d already organized for an in-home rehab nurse to stay with Lorraine to help with the facilitation of her rehab exercises, as well as the daily activities.
Dave knew, however, that no matter what he wanted for Jenna, she would ultimately be the one to decide on how she handles the situation. All he could do was to be there for her. And after all the years that he hadn’t been around, Dave was determined to let Jenna know that she wasn’t alone.
JENNA LOOKED AROUND her mother’s place once more to make sure everything was tidy and there wasn’t anything she could trip over. Satisfied, she shut the door behind her and went to see Amy at the B&B, knowing that Gracie, her stepdaughter, would be at school as well.
“Hello?” Jenna called as she let herself through the front door of the B&B.
Amy answered from somewhere. “Jenna? Is that you? I’m in the kitchen!”
She made her way to the kitchen and found Amy stacking the dishwasher. “Do you want me to come back? When you’re not too busy?”
“No, of course not. Don’t be silly.” Amy motioned towards the kettle. “I’ll be done in a jiffy. Why don’t you make us some coffee?”
Jenna hung her bag on the back of a chair and filled the kettle with water.
Amy wiped her hands dry and turned the dishwasher on to run a full cycle. “How are you guys? How are you?” She stood with her hands on her hips.
Jenna leaned against the kitchen counter and shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t know what to say. Truth be told, she had no idea herself how she was doing.
“He misses you; you know?” Amy said softly as she wiped her hands on her apron. “Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. He’s come to see Sam a couple of times—just to talk to someone, I guess.” Amy pulled the apron over her head and hung it back in its place.
Jenna’s tears filled her eyes.
“Oh, honey...” Amy hugged her from the side. “Why don’t you guys just say sorry and make up?”
With a frustrated hand, Jenna wiped her tears. “It’s not that simple.”
“I know that—of course, I know that. All I’m saying is, you’re both clearly miserable without each other. Can’t you talk about it and come to some understanding? You’re like the yin and yang of Willow Oaks!”
Jenna sniffed and smiled. “I thought we were America’s sweethearts.”
“You were! Correction—you guys are!”
“Oh, Amy, I wish I could just close my eyes and make it all go back to the way it was.”
“If the way it was”—Amy used her fingers to form speech marks—“wasn’t right the first time, then it maybe you could look at how it can be instead.”
Jenna looked at her behind tear-filled eyes.
Then
JENNA STOOD AT THE sink, rinsing the dinner dishes. The dishwasher had conked out for no good reason, and the repairers couldn’t come until next week. She filled the sink with warm water and squeezed a few drops of dishwashing liquid in.
Dave walked up behind her and held her by the hips. “Hey, sexy.”
Jenna laughed. “Ew! That’s such a terrible line.”
“Can’t lie though, can I? Gotta say it when I see it.” He wrapped his arms around her.
“These dishes aren’t gonna wash themselves, honey.”
Dave slipped his arms through hers and dipped his hands into the warm water. He crossed his fingers through hers. “We can wash it together,” he said as he kissed her neck.
Jenna tried to shoo him away by pushing back against him.
“Remember that movie?” Dave whispered in her ear and traced a finger along her arm, leaving a trail of soap bubbles.
“Which one?” Jenna leaned her head towards the left as she felt the tickle of his breath on her neck.
“You know the one... it’s about the ghost husband... the one where they do a pottery scene. It had Whoopi Goldberg in it.”
Jenna laughed again. “Ghost.”
“Yes, he was a ghost.”
“It’s called Ghost, silly.”
“Ah... well, if they can do pottery like that, then we can wash dishes like this.”
Now
“WE BOTH KNOW THAT MARRIAGE can be hard. In fact, it is hard. It takes work.” Amy paused. “Do you still love him?”
“Yeah,”—Jenna bit her bottom lip and nodded—“I do.”
“Well, I happen to know that he’s crazy about you even after all these years.” Amy put her hands on her hips. “Absolutely crazy about you.”
Chapter 23
Dave parked the car in the driveway of Lorraine’s house. Jenna must have heard them drive up because she came out the front door.
“Hey,” Jenna said as she neared.
“Hey, yourself.” Dave walked around to her and kissed her on the cheek.
“How was it?” Jenna asked.
Dave opened the door on Lorraine’s side and helped her out of the car. “There’s a walking frame in the trunk,” he said to Jenna. “Would you grab that for me, please?”
“Sure,” Jenna said.
Jenna positioned the
walker in front of her mother. “How are you feeling, Mom?”
Lorraine brought a hand to Jenna’s face and cupped her cheek. “I’m as fit as a horse, darling,” she said.
Dave winked at Jenna when she threw him a glance. It didn’t escape him that she looked nervous. “The doctor said she’s had a great start to her recovery—didn’t they, Lorraine?”
“Yes,” Lorraine said. “The handsome doctor said I was very good.”
Dave turned back to Jenna. “They didn’t need to perform any surgeries—that was lucky. Mom needs to take it easy and be careful. But on the whole, she can resume her daily activities.”
“You sound like a doctor.” Jenna rolled her eyes.
“It’s just as well I’m a doctor then.” Dave grinned.
Jenna smoothed her sweater and put a hand on Lorraine’s arm. “Shall we get you inside, Mom?”
“You have a wonderful boyfriend, darling,” Lorraine said.
Jenna stopped and looked at Dave. Her eyes widened in surprise. Wonderful boyfriend? she mouthed.
“It happens,” Dave said. “I’ll explain later.”
FOR ALL OF THEIR MARRIED life, Lorraine Myers never had a kind word to say about Dave. She’d been known to nit-pick at every little thing—making it known that he wasn’t good enough for her daughter. But mind you, Lorraine never thought Jenna was good enough for Dave. So, touché. She needed to ask Dave about why her mom was acting strangely.
“Did you know that he asked me to take care of the children so that he could try to make you fall in love with him?” Lorraine asked Jenna.
“Did he?” Jenna obliged her as they ambled up to the house.
“He did. He’s just like your father. Such a handsome man. Such a good heart.”
“Yes, Mom, he is.” Jenna looked at Dave.
“And so, did you?” Lorraine asked.
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