by Sadie Sears
“Are you seeing dead people?” He looked behind him, swung his fists through the air. “Am I close?”
“Zoe.”
My girl knew a warning when she heard one. She held up her hands. “Fine. When Sophie dropped me off after dinner, Leath was on the porch, just sitting out there all alone. So, I invited him in.”
Leath smiled at Zoe. “Very neighborly.”
“You’re not our neighbor.” I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful or like I wanted to kick him, even though I did have a powerful urge to kick him and I didn’t feel all that grateful. But I also didn’t like the idea of her inviting a man she hardly knew into the house, the fact we’d stayed with him the night before notwithstanding.
His gaze caught and held mine. “I told you, I’m not leaving until you’re safe.”
Whew. That voice curled through the pit of my stomach. The depth and sincerity warmed me all the way to my toes, even if it didn’t leave much doubt that he was a stubborn ass who wasn’t about to listen to my half-hearted protests.
“Come on, Zoe. Let’s get you to bed.” I couldn’t very well ogle the guy in the chair with my daughter sitting on the sofa. I waited while she said goodnight, then followed her to the stairs.
“Mom, I’m twelve. I don’t need to be tucked in.”
No, she didn’t, but I needed to explain the presence of the very handsome man I’d left sitting on the porch and why he should’ve still been out there instead of in here. “Zoe.” But I didn’t have a single word in me except hubba hubba, and those really didn’t convey the thoughts I needed to get across to my child.
She dropped a hand on my shoulder and looked deep into my eyes. I knew this look. She was about to try to convince me to get something we really didn’t need. “Mom, you should date him. He’s cool. Terrible at games, but he takes losing really well. That’s the sign of a good man.”
Such wisdom from the mouths of babes, and when accompanied by a finger point, was quite effective. Not because I’d already been thinking about it before she decided.
“Oh, is it?” Since we didn’t have a lot of men in our lives, I had to wonder where she got her information for the basis of it.
Not knowing it for certain didn’t stop her from smiling like she had a vast knowledge of men and their ways and then nodding. “I watch a lot of Bachelor reruns and I know how to spot a loser. He isn’t one.” She paused thoughtfully. “You should give him your rose.”
What? And by what, I meant, what? How did she know about giving roses? And as much as I wanted that information, all I could manage to still say was, “What?”
“We have a whole yard full. Just cut one and hand it to him. It’s romantic.”
My body sagged with relief. Honest to God relief. And my brain added an oh, dear. If I had any hopes of steering her toward a healthy adulthood, I was going to have to better mind her TV habits. “To bed, my love. And we will talk tomorrow.”
She kissed my cheek and looked solemnly into my eyes. “I love you, but there’s enough of you for me to share.” Getting the last word was unfortunately not a new Zoe trait.
I turned, too quickly maybe, or maybe I just wasn’t steady enough to navigate such a maneuver, but my legs buckled, and I gasped. Before I hit the floor, Leath slipped his arm around my waist. “I’ve got you.” His voice was a whisper against my skin, almost silent, but warm and safe, especially when he repeated, “I’ve got you.”
Yeah, he did. And had I not been burning with embarrassment and in a moderate amount of pain, I would’ve probably enjoyed it. Not to say I didn’t enjoy it a little bit anyway, but I would’ve enjoyed it more. I should’ve taken the medicine before I went to bed. I should’ve known to head this relapse off before it got to this point. He helped me up the stairs without humiliating me further by swinging me off my feet and carrying me.
I liked being pressed against his chest, liked the strength of his body, the scent of him. I really liked it. My stomach tightened, and I never wanted to move away from him, never wanted him to stop holding me so carefully and with such protection.
He pushed open the door to my room, walked me to the bed, and I hoped he couldn’t feel the uptick in my pulse rate. Thoughts of my romance novel came rushing back, and my face felt hot all of a sudden.
“Here,” he said as he pulled the blanket back with the arm not holding me up. “In you go.” He bent his knees to lower me to the bed, and I swiveled and struggled to lift my legs without his help, but I managed.
Something about letting go shot a flare of disappointment through me, but I covered my disappointment, slid between my sheets, and let him fluff my pillow. Partly because he leaned over me with a hand on each side of my shoulders. Not a hug, but close enough I could breathe him in.
“Leath?” When he looked down at me, my heart stuttered. “I’m sorry for being such a bother. And that Zoe asks so many questions.” And that I’d left him outside all day and into the evening. And that I wasn’t brave enough to start a relationship with a man-dragon who wanted to claim me. Bite me.
“You’re not a bother at all.” He traced my eyebrow with his fingertip then pointed his smile at me, and it was a good thing I was already on my back or I would’ve ended up falling anyway. “And Zoe’s a great kid.” He paused and looked away. “Is her dad around much?”
This was the part of the story where I didn’t come off looking so good. “No. Zoe is the surprise production of a one-night stand from a time when I might’ve gone a little overboard sowing my wild oats.” I sighed. I wished I had a better story, but this was my life, and I’d never hidden it before, not even from Zoe. Though, she knew as bare a minimum as I could get by with. Not this part. “Even if I’d known the next day that I was pregnant, I wouldn’t have been able to find him since I only had a first name to go on. I’m grateful to him, obviously, but also a little sad for him, too, that he doesn’t get to know what a great kid he helped make. But most of all, I’m happy for me. Zoe is the gift I never knew I wanted.”
I watched his face for judgment or maybe disappointment. For any sign he thought less of me. When I didn’t find any evidence, I relaxed and laid my hand on his arm. My fingers tingled, and I wanted—with a sudden urgency—to touch him in a bunch more places. I wanted to bury my hands in his hair and taste him, climb into his lap, regain some of the spontaneity of my youth before MS crippled me.
“Lila.” He didn’t say more, and I would’ve happily spent the rest of the night staring into his gorgeous eyes, but my leg jerked, and it startled me enough to look away.
“Thank you for helping me to bed. Those steps…” I blew out a breath and hoped the heat in my face wasn’t representative of the color; otherwise, I was probably glowing in the semi-darkness.
There was something wonderful in the way he gazed at me, with such tenderness, such concern. “Is this a flare-up?”
I nodded, liking the way he asked, but not so much that circumstances were such for the question to exist at all.
“Do they know why you have these?”
What I really liked was the way he looked at me, not like I was less or broken or damaged, but like he cherished every word I said and every breath I took. Too bad I couldn’t bottle the look for later.
“There are a lot of things. Sometimes it’s something physical, a fever or a lack of sleep. Sometimes it’s mental stress.” He closed his eyes for a second, and it was easy to guess where his mind went. “You didn’t keep me up, Leath, and the stress has nothing to do with you.” I wanted him to believe me, to look at me again so he could see my sincerity. “I have a specialist in Burlington, and she said staying calm and eating right helps. I used to keep a journal of what I ate and how I felt every day, my temperature, and other things I thought would help.”
Truth was, Gretta started it behind my back, and then we put our big brains together and decided if we could figure out what caused my issues, we could head them off, but we were wrong. There was no real pattern.
Leath’s eyes
shone with pain when he opened them again. “But I didn’t leave today. I didn’t listen when you asked me to go.” And he was back to not looking at me. “I can go. I really don’t want to make this worse for you.”
This time, I laid my hand on his cheek and guided his gaze back to mine, forcing my hand to stop before I dragged his lips to mine. “Leath.”
He smiled and tilted his head into my palm. “Lila.”
“I don’t want you to go.” My surprise at the truth in the words manifested in a smile. “Please, stay.” Just in case he was unsure.
7
Leath
All night, I watched her sleep because the fear was real, and her pain was real, and I couldn’t stand the thought of not being there if she woke and needed me. Plus, every time I even considered moving, my dragon growled. He wanted me to curl up in the bed behind her, warm her, hold her until the pain stopped, and I only barely suppressed that urge. Lila would kick me out for sure, and I didn’t think I would take that well.
She didn’t cry out, wasn’t restless, but when she shifted her weight or turned, even in her sleep, she winced and gasped. Once she whimpered, and I moved to stand beside the bed, closer just in case, but after a moment, her face relaxed, and I waited for a minute or so before I moved back to my chair. I wanted to hold her hand, comfort her in any small way I could, but I didn’t dare disturb her.
I questioned the decision with every sound and pained face she made. And each time, my guts clenched, and my heart lurched. There was nothing worse for a dragon than not being able to protect someone, especially a destined mate, from hurting.
After I brought her to bed last night, I’d gone downstairs long enough to get her medicine and all the other things I’d thought she might need—water, some crackers in case her stomach was upset, and her cell phone. Even those few moments away from her had been painful and had me rushing to get back to her in case she needed me.
Around seven, her eyelids fluttered, and she sighed quietly as she turned her head toward the window, toward me. God, she was beautiful in the early morning light. In the afternoon. Evening. Definitely in the moonlight, in my house, wearing my shirt, the vast majority of her pale legs exposed. I clamped down on a groan. She didn’t need that from me first thing in the morning.
She blinked at me, closed her eyes then flipped them open again. “Have you been sitting in that chair all night?” she asked softly.
Of course I had. What if she needed something I hadn’t thought of? I shrugged like it was no big deal because it wasn’t.
She smiled. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to.”
“I know.” I smiled back. Her gratitude warmed my stomach.
She pushed her palms flat into the mattress and struggled to sit up. I moved to the bed and slipped an arm around her to absorb the stress on her body and help her. When she was resting against the pillow a little higher in the bed, she wrapped her fingers around my wrist and gave a little squeeze. My body tingled from stem to stern. Holding her, or her holding me, even for just a second, sent shocks of awareness through me.
“Would you mind getting my phone? I keep it downstairs in the kitchen.” She smiled when I picked it up off the nightstand and handed it to her. “I guess you knew that already. Thanks.”
“I thought you might need it.”
I probably should’ve been looking around the yard again, making sure more wizards like the ones who’d planted the dark magic to convince Gretta she was getting sicker weren’t lurking around spewing their bad vibes and sickness spells, but I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her side. I didn’t want to take my eyes off of how the morning sun gave her earthy brown hair a golden glow, how flecks of green stood out in her hazel eyes.
“I need to text Gretta and let her know what’s going on.” Her thumbs moved over the screen and she hit send then set the phone on her table. “She doesn’t like to find out after the fact. I should’ve called her last night.” She frowned, but she wasn’t looking at me. She had a bottle of pills in her hand and tipped it, so a matching pair of little white capsules fell into her palm.
I watched her, saw every grimace she tried to hide when she moved. And I wanted to shout to her that a cure was within reach. A way she would never suffer this pain again. And because maybe she hadn’t understood when I first explained, I owed it to both of us—more to her, although I would benefit, too—to try again.
“Lila.” She looked up at me, and so I didn’t tower over her, I pulled my chair closer to the bed and sat, leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, and my hands folded on the mattress in front of me. So close. I wanted to touch her, hold her hand, use my body to show her how strongly I felt about this and about her. But it was too soon for that kind of comfort and attention. She was getting closer, I could tell, but she wasn’t there yet.
She smiled at me when I looked up. “You look so serious, Leath.”
Yes, because I was serious. “I know I threw a lot of stuff at you the other day.” Had it only been three days?
“The other day when you told me you don’t believe in my New Age bullshit but then turned around and said destiny decided we belonged together, and I should let you bite me?” But she smiled warily, and my heart hitched. Like it was the first time. She wasn’t ready to talk about us being destined mates, not seriously, but she also didn’t have the venom in her voice she’d had before.
I swallowed a sigh because I needed to focus on more than what being close to her did to me. Like how being close to me could help her, take away her pain. “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about, uh, that.”
I’d talked to thousands of women in the 161 years I’d been alive and on subjects I wasn’t so nearly well-versed, but this was too important, too vital. I couldn’t just blurt it out like it didn’t have the potential to impact her life—both our lives—for the next 300 or 400 years. I needed to form a complete, coherent thought if I were to have any hope of making this happen. “If you let me claim you—” Well, that came out wrong. “If we decide that being destined—” No. It wasn’t a decision. We were destined. “If I bite you, you’ll turn, and the MS will be gone.”
She didn’t speak.
“No more pain, Lila.”
Again, she remained silent, hazel eyes boring into mine.
“You can hear me, right?” Flippant might not have been the way to go and the grin was probably overkill.
Her smile faded. Oh, shit. I probably should’ve figured out a way to sell it better.
“Why would you say that to me at a time like this?” Her voice wavered.
The answer—because it seemed like a good time—stayed behind my clamped lips. “What?”
“If you want to get laid, I’m sure there are plenty of women in Spruce who would be happy to let you have a turn, but don’t frame it like you’re doing something altruistic by healing me. I’m not risking my sanity for something like that.”
Maybe I fucked this one up again. I needed to convince her that my pull was nothing like Gerald’s, that it was real, but I didn’t know how to frame the argument without sounding the same as he must’ve. “Lila—”
She held up her hand. “Don’t, okay?” She moved to pull herself higher into the bed, and when I stood to help her, she glared. Hard. Like she wished looks could kill. Maybe if I breathed fire, she would’ve been into me claiming her; of course, then she would’ve probably used her fire to kill me.
“I don’t need you to bite me. I don’t want you to bite me. There will be no biting and no claiming. Clear?” She punctuated each sentence with a breath, and color darkened in her cheeks with every word.
I needed to get it out there. “The pull I feel, it’s nothing like what happened to Kristin. It’s one hundred percent me, no magic involved.”
“Can you say that Gerald didn’t feel one hundred percent the same way right before he drove her mad?”
“Yes. Cam and Theo made sure—”
“That bite drove her mad! Actually insane!”
But her anger won out in the end, and she shook her head. “And you think a padded room is a trade-up? I saw what the bite did to my friend, and curing my MS is not worth that.” Her anger was so potent I imagined it in the color red. “First Gretta, now you.”
“It’s not the same as all that, Lila. We care about you. Seeing you hurt is—” Impossible, painful, devastating.
“Then by all means, go. Don’t see me hurt, don’t watch, but I will take this suffering and this disease any day of the week over a mental breakdown that makes me want to hurt my daughter.” She cocked her head and shifted her jaw to one side as she scoffed. “I would think someone with the kind of”—she rolled a pointing finger in small circles at me—“curse you bring to a relationship would accept that. If I’m not good enough the way I am, then I don’t need you.”
Curse? My dragon? And by all things winged and woman, this wasn’t about changing her, definitely not about her being anything less than everything I ever wanted and thought was as perfect as perfect could be. I wanted to take away her pain, let her live the life she wanted. “Lila, I’m not—”
“Just go, Leath.”
No. I couldn’t leave her there with no one to help her. It was barely a new day. Barely dawn. “Lila, please, you’re not listening to me. I didn’t mean—”
“No one ever means anything.” The sadness. The resignation. Her voice stalled, left me an opening even as her words and how she spoke them broke my heart.
“Lila, please.” And now she’d reduced me to begging.
“Just go, Leath. I don’t need any more stress right now, and that includes fighting with you.” She turned her gaze away, probably would have walked out of the room had she not been in pain.