I’d never been a very good girl.
It had been a long time since I thought about that night. If it hadn’t been for Blade’s rough fingers against my skin, or his scent complementing Rainey’s, I would’ve expected to open my eyes and see hay poking out of a mattress, a dirt floor, and Rainey’s breasts spilling out of one of the corsets we used to wear every day.
Just like that night, I needed her approval. But she stopped me when I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her jeans. I fully expected her to utter the one word that made Blade batshit crazy with rage. That name was supposed to keep us all safe in this moment.
I should’ve known better than to make her mind up for her.
“Let me.” She was breathless. And I was frozen, waiting for her next move. She reached to unhook her bra. Her head fell back again, exposing the line of her neck and her throbbing pulse. Blade tensed underneath me. The energy, as weird as it was, had to be doing him some good, but the blood was a tease. They made only one rule, and Rainey was off-limits to him.
She stood, her gaze following her hands as she finished the task she barred me from doing. Shimmying out of her jeans, she left her underwear on. There was a scalloped, lacy edge to how far Rainey was willing to go. She didn’t have to say it out loud. The cushions shifted under her weight when she joined us again on the couch. I gasped when she pushed me back against Blade. He wasn’t expecting it, either. His hands landed rigidly on my arms. Rainey crawled over to us, wedging her knee between mine. I straddled Blade’s lap, and the heat rolling between the two of them was almost unbearable. And it was exactly what I was craving.
Her hands fell to my shorts, peeling them away from my hips. Blade helped her, picking me up like I weighed nothing so she could strip me. Once I was completely bare, Blade held my thighs open so Rainey was free to explore and tease. And I had no escape. Despite their silent war, they were in perfect harmony. Too much sensation rolled through my body to worry about it. My core pounded with need. I hooked my arms around Blade’s neck, and his hair tickled my shoulders. I could barely breathe. I didn’t know which one of them I wanted to kiss more.
Rainey made that decision for me, grabbing my chin roughly and claiming my mouth. Blade brought out something in her that I hadn’t seen before. A raw, aching need to claim what was hers. It was sexy as hell. Her naked body moved against mine and I answered in kind, dancing to the beat of a song that played only for us. The kisses traveled to my jaw, and then lingered at my neck. Blade groaned, his erection obvious against my back. For good measure, I ground my hips against it, and his grip on my arms tightened. I’d wear these bruises like a tattoo.
My attention was quickly brought back to Rainey, who was on a mission. This wasn’t about my fire. Rainey would brand me if she could. She journeyed dangerously low, steadying herself with her hands on my chest, shielding my breasts from Blaze’s gaze. My body twitched as she inched below my belly button. She already had me how she wanted me, wide open and soaking wet, needing her touch more than I needed to breathe.
Blade moaned when my hips bucked. He and Rainey had made a deal not to touch each other, but she was getting him off too, using my body. My little seductress. She knew my body like it was her own, but that didn’t mean she was in any hurry. She captured the edge of my cleft between her lips and nipped it. Whether she meant to or not, her fingers scraped the skin from my breasts to my stomach. I waited for the blood to appear, and so did Blade, rigid and still underneath me. But my skin pinked in response instead of breaking.
“Did you see that?” Blade rasped. “Smoke.”
Rainey picked her head up from between my legs. Damn you, Blade. I knew there was a downside to this threesome thing. “Really?”
She reached for my shoulder, baring down into my skin with her fingernail before dragging it slowly down. Smoke rose, but in its wake it left a delicate line of blood.
I wished I could’ve seen the look on Blade’s face. His tongue sizzled on contact with my skin.
Rainey’s mouth opened in awe and revulsion when he sunk his fangs into my flesh. He drank greedily, and the smoke that rose from the incision stung my eyes.
“Don’t stop.” It was for both of them. We were so close.
I could barely keep my eyes open. Blade’s appetite for blood had increased since the last time we were together. Soon, I’d have to beg him for mercy before he stole all my energy. It would be the hardest thing I ever did. Wasted blood ran over my breast and trickled into streams on my stomach. It caught fire like gasoline. Rainey licked her lips, I rolled my hips in invitation, and substituted moans for words. She spoke this language, but she’d never gone through a translator before.
Smoke blurred her face as she lowered it to my body, kissing my pubic bone. She glanced up at me, her lips were dark and wet with my blood. The fire was contagious, and I’d swear she had a halo. Blade made a noise that was positively feral. He didn’t scare me often, because I knew he’d never intentionally hurt me. But I had no idea if that courtesy extended to Rainey. She stood in the way of what he wanted—for me to be the queen of his night time world.
An electric shock rocketed through my body when her tongue touched my clit. Blade hissed like it shot straight into him. Heat rose in waves as her tongue moved, swirling and sucking and nipping. Beads of sweat broke out on my forehead. My body fought what I needed it to do. The edges of my vision were black and fuzzy from smoke and blood loss, and the heat was overwhelming.
The flames jumped from my body as she pushed her fingers inside me. Blade sucking my blood and Rainey fucking me at the same time was exactly what I needed. She screamed against my skin as the flame rolled close to her, but I’d never burn her beautiful face. The blackness faded, replaced with my favorite colors—red, yellow, and orange tipped with blue. The same blue as Blade’s eyes. I wished I could see them.
It was the most beautiful I ever burned.
Chapter Thirty-One
“YOU DEFINITELY NEED a new couch.” Blade grinned. His clothes were singed and hanging from his body, and his beard stained with my blood. “But I think the cost of doing business was worth it.”
Rainey swaddled me in my old stage robe. It used to wait for me on the side of the stage, the first offer of comfort as the flames subsided. I shivered uncontrollably, just like the good old days when I burst into flames on command. My defenses had burned away, and my nerves were exposed. Rainey and Blade’s moans echoed inside me. I was hollow and so cold.
I didn’t miss this part. I was never more vulnerable than after I burned.
“You looked so beautiful,” Rainey murmured, rocking me softly back and forth. Usually I needed space after I ignited. Time to heal. But tonight, I didn’t want to let either of them go.
“I feel bad. It was all about me.” I planned on giving as good as I received, but simply mixing Rainey and Blade’s energies was enough to cause the reaction. I expected it to take much more work. The best kind of work, but it had been too easy. “Neither of you got off.”
Blade hadn’t even gotten undressed. That was a shame all on its own. I wondered how his body healed and thrived since he gained his freedom. My core pulsed so hard it hurt. Truthfully, I hadn’t got off, either. The fire took over everything. I wasn’t used to connecting it to pleasure or pain so literally.
A flush spread under Blade’s skin. That was my blood. “It wasn’t about that. It was about your fire.”
“I want to make you happy. The fire’s enough for me,” Rainey said. Her words hurt my heart as much as the thought of my blood flowing through Blade’s veins got me off. I shouldn’t have been with anyone so soon after igniting. Everything intensified as my body healed.
The fire hadn’t been enough for me. I wriggled free of her grasp. Goosebumps took the place of my robe. “I’m taking a shower. Neither of you go anywhere.”
Leaving the two of them alone unsupervised was dangerous. But staying with them when I was like this was worse. There was a push and pull going on betw
een them, like they thought they could convince me to cut the other one out of my life. It didn’t work like that.
Soot and blood washed away from my body. I was sad to see it go. My plan worked. Once. In less than twenty-four hours, I’d have a chance to test my theory, call up my reserves, and attempt to burst in to flames all on my own.
It terrified me.
All was calm when I joined them. Rainey had gone back to cleaning, and Blade sat next to the sliding glass window, lost in thought. I sat beside him and he put his arm around me. It was much more comforting than intrusive.
“I want you to stay here tonight.” I rested my head on his shoulder as I tried to figure out what had captivated him about the sky. The moon was high, bright, and beautiful. In its full glory, it was probably the closest that Blade had been to seeing the sun for a while.
He slipped his arm around me. “Do I still have my setup in the closet?” He chuckled. “I have a bed at Embrace. And I don’t have to sleep alone there.”
Ouch. “Your bed at Embrace should be burned.”
That stole his attention away from the sky. “There’s a few ways to make that happen.”
I shrank away from him. The arrangement had worked too well. I prepared for the complications up front and during our arrangement, but not a backlash. Blade was far from satisfied.
“I meant in our bed. Sleep with us.” I held my breath as Rainey rounded the corner.
“Holly.” Rainey didn’t have to say the rest. This hadn’t been part of the deal. “What are you doing?”
Blade stood, leaving me on the couch, but he didn’t have anywhere to go. He wasn’t ready to leave; his uneasiness came from something else. “That’s not what this was about. And I already told you what I wanted.”
“Me too,” Rainey added.
They had more in common than they were willing to admit. I wasn’t being fair to them, or myself. No changing the rules after the fact to suit myself. I made my decision, and I had to let Blade go.
There was no way to have a happy ending tonight. I blocked his path and took his hands in mine. They were still sooty and sticky, a reminder of what we’d all sacrificed. And tomorrow, I’d find out if it worked.
STAGE FRIGHT WAS A good thing. That was one of the first lessons Bette had taught me when I traveled back to her. She took me under her wing and made me a dancer worthy of having my name on a marquee. Stage fright meant I realized I always had something to learn, and I never let my routine go stale. There was always someone who danced better or who looked hotter than I did in a corset.
Every time I walked into Sin City Vampire Club, more people filled the hallways. This time a camera crew greeted me. So it began.
“Holly.” A woman walked quickly after me. I almost didn’t turn around, but the last thing I needed was to be labeled as a diva. That didn’t mean that I wouldn’t have any demands or limits. In fact, there would be plenty. “Would it be possible to get your signature on a few things?”
“Of course.” Depending on what it was. “Come with me to my dressing room.”
“You’ll get used to the cameras,” she said, sounding like she never got used to them. “After a while, you’ll forget they’re there.”
“I doubt that.” I took the thick packet of documents from her. “How long do I have to read these over?”
Confusion spread over her face. She didn’t expect me to read them. I had enough surprises when it came to this show, including the television series. I wouldn’t let Callie and Tristan act like they could make the show happen without me.
“I hoped to have it done tonight,” she said.
“I can’t wrap my head around that until after I practice.” The fire demanded all my concentration. A basket full of flaming irons would wait for me on stage, like at Cirque Macabre. But there was no telling if I could still ingest the flames. “I’m sure I’ll want to add a few things.”
“Like what? I can get an amended agreement to you by the end of the night.” She snatched the packet from the table, as if she were protective of it. The production company must have considered me a flight risk.
“Under no circumstances do the cameras follow me from the stage to my dressing room.” No one needed to see me completely fall apart before I put myself back together. “And nothing outside of the show. Business only.”
The woman frowned. “The viewers will be interested in your personal life.”
“Off-limits,” I said. Rainey would die if she had a camera in her face. And if I still needed Blade to stoke my fire, that could not be documented.
“The producers will be disappointed. They’re really interested in exploring who you are as an artist and a person. Your performance is so unique.” She wasn’t half as tempting as she hoped to be, and I didn’t take the bait. “They want to make you a star,” she added.
But that got me.
A crowd chanting my name would fill the empty space inside me. But I had to do it on my own terms. “They can do it. If they’re good enough.” I ushered her out of the dressing room and backed against the door.
I would lose all control of what happened once it was captured on camera. They could edit the footage any way they wanted, and it would make or break me. And if they had an inkling I struggled to fulfill my promise... I was screwed. Humans had a hard time believing what they saw when it came to the supernatural shows in Vegas. But I prided myself on the fact no one had ever been able to disprove what I did. It was why they wanted me.
Callie wouldn’t be the one to ruin me. But Immortal Forever, if that was still the name of the reality show, just might.
Practicing in my sweats was no longer an option. I performed better in costume anyway, it made me much more aware of my posture and form. I used it as an extension of myself, as a tease and a seduction. I pulled on stockings, the short shorts that were fast becoming my signature—thanks, Rainey—and a tuxedo jacket with long tails. It looked stupid without a full face of makeup, but I didn’t want to waste precious practice time primping. I braided my hair and let it fall over my shoulder. Getting it tangled while I was on the pole was the worst.
A top hat sat by the door. I hesitated before I picked it up. The image it conjured of Cash taking it and placing it on his own head haunted me. It was like I was back in my old dressing room at Cirque Macabre, down to all the little gifts I used to keep on my dressing table. Fans had left them, hoping they’d have a chance to meet me. I always kept a distance between my personal and professional lives. Otherwise, it would ruin the magic. That’s what made me nervous about the ever-present cameras. Absolutely no separation between private and public lives, or fantasy and reality.
Cash was with me tonight. I hadn’t felt him so strongly since he’d been destroyed. I glanced around the room again, and all the familiarities had disappeared. Back to the past, where they belonged. I put on the hat and headed out to kick some ass.
People ran past me as I approached the stage, calling for help. I quickened my pace to see what was wrong. A group of men dressed in black pushed me aside to get a stretcher through. Shit.
I clung to the wall in case any more heavy equipment needed to pass. The energy tasted metallic as I approached the crowd that had gathered in the middle of the stage. Everyone looked down at someone, or something, and I wondered if the vampires inside the theater had sustained an attack, or if they lashed out at someone that didn’t please them. Neither option comforted me.
“You can’t do CPR, his heart doesn’t beat.” One of the responders shook his head and pushed his colleague aside.
“Do something!” Callie cried, and one of the many men in black suits that kept the theater safe held her back from lunging into the crowd. She kicked and clawed at her captor, but he didn’t budge.
Lennon jumped when I touched her arm. “What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“Tristan passed out.” She swallowed hard, her gaze fixed on the panicked crowd of humanity trying to revive him. “It’s the energy. He can’t get enoug
h without the fans. He’s practically drained Callie—”
The Mistress glared at us. I was still on the list of potential enemies and Lennon was sharing state secrets.
Lennon took it in stride. Callie wouldn’t stay mad at her, especially as Tristan’s life hung in the balance. “I gave him some blood. But without energy, he can’t retain it. He’s got pure Venom flowing through his veins.”
There was no official science to what allowed a vampire to have life after death. If they had enough energy—and apparently, it had to be the right energy—the blood could be considered an extracurricular activity. But it took on a much more important role when there were no good vibes to be found. Which was exactly why Embrace had turned into a bloodbath, and Lennon had to quit—to retain her sanity.
“We need to open the show, and soon. Or get something on air so people know he’s alive. Pretending he’s dead is killing him.” I started to panic. Tristan had been one of my only true allies in Vampirelandia. Without him, the city would fall to chaos, and I’d have no safe place to burn.
“Before we do any of that, he needs a transfusion.” Lennon wriggled free of my grip, tapping an EMT hard on the shoulder.
“He needs blood!” she said loudly. She was the only one thinking clearly. “Which one of you will donate?”
The humans backed away, like a force field had formed around his body. Horror painted their faces when they realized this wasn’t make-believe, no matter what the cameras and the press releases said.
“I will.” I couldn’t believe the words were coming out of my mouth. Everything was on the line. I pushed past the wall of humans doing absolutely nothing but shitting their pants at the prospect of being in the presence of an actual vampire who needed to drink blood or die for real.
He looked awful. A sickly greenish-gray, like he lay on a slab in a morgue. Dark purple lines cracked the surface of his skin, as if all his veins had stopped working. His lips were practically black. I smoothed his hair out of his face as I gathered up the courage to do the thing no one else was willing to do.
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