“Hey, look.” Blade pointed at the first memorial to my failure. A billboard with Tristan and me, advertising The Afterlife, was already up. “God, you’re gorgeous.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, it was the same marquee I saw in my vision. It was only a matter of time before that poster got ripped to shreds.
“There’s one on the taxi.” Rainey pointed as it passed us by. “They can’t fire you. Not after they just spent a fortune plastering your face all over the city. They wasted no time. When did the show end? Two, three hours ago? And is it really in the contract that you can’t have any contact with Blade? I told you that you should’ve had a lawyer look at that thing.”
Blade whistled low. “You signed that contract without having anyone else look at it? Sorry to say this, but you’re so fucked right now.”
Everyone was turning on me. “There was nothing in there that was any cause for alarm.”
“It’s not what was in there that you had to worry about. It’s what they left out.” Blade shook his head. “Vampires will seduce you with your deepest, darkest desires to get what they want.”
“What do you want, Blade?”
“Total domination.”
So much for the cuddle puddle I’d envisioned when Rainey told me she snuck Blade in. It really had been a sweet gesture, for both of them. It was my dumb ass who invited him to the party. Because I wanted this very thing. For him to come home with us. I spent my fire and I needed maintenance.
As far as domination went, Blade could check me off his list. He turned me into one of his little blood sluts and made me think it was my idea. Expert level move.
“You can drop us off,” I said when he pulled into our complex. I expected the look on his face. The raw, naked rejection. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good. “I need to be alone tonight.”
He nodded. “I’ll see you around, Holly.”
At least he didn’t say goodbye.
“Stop apologizing.” I didn’t mean to snap at Rainey, but all the sorrys in the world wouldn’t fix things.
“I FAILED YOU. I SHOULD’VE never messed with a vampire.” She hadn’t relaxed since Blade dropped us off. She could check all the spell books she had, burn incense, and make magic potions, but none of it would fill the void his absence created.
“The game changed. We can’t waste time thinking about how we screwed up.” There was no I in team. I wasn’t free of blame. “It doesn’t exist anymore. We’re playing by new rules.”
“I don’t want to lose... Never mind.” Rainey finally settled, sitting on the edge of the couch. She hung her head, worrying her fingers in her lap.
“Listen, I know you don’t fuck up often.” I sat next to her but didn’t touch her. She had no idea how to deal with failure. Well, her failure. She’d been up close and personal with my screw-ups on more occasions than I wanted to count. “And it sucks. There’s no getting around that. This might sound like tough love, but take it from someone who knows. It’s not failure that hurts the worst. It’s all the stuff that goes with it—the regret, the anger, and the need for retribution—I can’t help you with that. But I can guarantee that it will hurt.”
“It will,” she said quietly.
I put my hand over hers. “Someday we’ll look back at this and laugh. I promise you.”
“What are you going to do?” Her eyes were so sad. She was being so hard on herself because she hurt me. “The show opens in a matter of days.”
“What do you mean?” To me, there was only one answer.
“She could fire you.”
“What’s she gonna do, tell the whole world she fired me because I slept with her ex-boyfriend? It’s all she’s got unless she outs herself to the public as a vampire. Then the show’s over for everyone. I think we all agree that the show must go on,” I said it like it was the only answer. “That’s what Cash always said. No matter what, the show goes on. That’s why I never accepted losing my fire. This is what we were meant to do. Maybe it’s best this way. We can’t rely on Blade—”
“He didn’t do anything wrong,” she said. I’d never get used to Rainey being a member of Team Blade. “Don’t push him away. You’ll need him.”
I hadn’t; I simply hadn’t invited him in. It did feel bigger than that, with a slightly ominous aftertaste. Metal and soot. I needed some mouthwash. The only thing that had become clear was that concealing my association with Blade would create an explosive situation that was out of my control.
“My fire is back.” For it to stay with me, I had to believe in it. It would stoke the flames until I called on them again.
“Alliances will change.” Rainey’s eyes glazed over and I didn’t doubt that Gabriel whispered sweet nothings into her ear. He was a fucking coward. Although, if he showed his face, I’d strangle him on principle. She grasped my hand. “Don’t make unnecessary enemies.”
I certainly didn’t need to go out of my way to do that.
It must’ve been a slow news day. Rainey’s phone pinged non-stop with alerts that my name had been mentioned. The press had no access to the shitshow that had transpired after the curtain dropped, and the reviews took my breath away. I made all the entertainment sites, the nightly news, and the front page of the biggest paper in the city featured me, fully engulfed and extended in Iron X pose, with the headline Holly! Holly! Holly!
Hardly a mention of Tristan. The press may have never believed he was dead in the first place, but they had no idea there was a much bigger story brewing beneath that surface. For now, it would stay under wraps.
I was thankful to have another tool in my arsenal as I walked through the hallways of Sin City Vampire Club the next night. I’d sharpen it, depending on how I’d need it. We had precious few rehearsals left before The Afterlife opened and I would be in peak physical condition. Not a moment could be wasted.
I’d come alone. Rainey and I agreed it was best that she only participate as an audience member from now on.
“Care to explain that stunt?” Callie asked me as I evened the silks, starting my warm-up for the night.
“My fire? No.” The last thing I needed was her and that bitch Rachel figuring out how to clone my power and give it to some reasonable facsimile. And if they really wanted to piss me off, they’d pick a dancer who had bigger boobs than I did. Let them try it. She’d never survive the night.
“I don’t care how you do that, as long as you do it.” She smiled, softening a bit. It took her long enough to realize she’d catch more flies with honey. Or she’d been shaken to the core to find Blade in her house. “I mean Blade. How’d you get him in? There are cameras everywhere, as you know.”
The smile curdled, turning into a smirk. Just because she wanted to play nice didn’t mean she was good at it.
I gave the silks a good tug. “I didn’t.”
“It’s a violation of your contract, Holly. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you of that. I checked the tapes from the other night. There’s no sign of him until he was standing in my living room. It’s not the kind of surprise I like.”
“You’re a vampire. Figure it out.” I wrapped myself in the silks. The operator couldn’t hear me from his perch in the rafters, and that was his cue to hoist me into the sky. Times like this I wished my wings were real and I didn’t have to worry about the threat of losing my show because a brat signed my paychecks.
My muscles ached as I steadied myself in the fabric. I used it as a swing, wrapping it around my leg and dangling upside down, far above the theater stage. Callie looked like an angry doll, staring up at me, arms crossed.
The best part of my silk routine was tumbling back to the stage. That rush of adrenaline rivaled the moment before I burst into flames. A few sparks flew from my bare arms and legs, and I had to be careful not to set the silks on fire. Although it would be an amazing routine, falling from the sky fully engulfed, then rising like a phoenix from the flame.
“I’ll give you another chance,” she said once I untangled myself
from the fabric. “Because your performance is good. Really good. But I swear, if you think you can undermine this clan, you have another think coming.”
She stormed off stage, probably feeling like she told me what was up. Whatever. She finally realized she needed me more than I needed her.
Blade had been right all along. There was something to this dominance thing.
RAINEY WAS THE MOST beautiful woman in the entire world. Every so often I caught her doing an ordinary thing and she took my breath away. This time it was tipping her head to the side so she could fasten her earring. She did her makeup in my favorite style, with winged liner and pouty pink lips. A bow at her nape held her dress in place, and all I’d have to do was tug on the edge to unravel it. But I wouldn’t ruin the delicious swell of her cleavage that threatened to escape from the neckline.
The dress was tight through the bodice and flared out from the waist, ending just above her knee. When she climbed stairs or crossed her legs, I caught a hint of the top of her fishnet stockings. Her legs glittered when she moved. Forget roses or fancy jewelry—Rainey had wrapped herself up like a present, and she’d make me wait to unwrap her until after the show.
It was The Afterlife’s opening night, and I’d rather spend the rest of the night screaming into my pillow than perform. The band and I had been subjected to a press conference as soon as the sun went down.
“What does the rest of Immortal Dilemma think of the show?”
“Will any of the band make cameo appearances?”
I prayed for the questions to stop. This had nothing to do with me. I had to keep reminding myself. I kept the secret. But the more they hounded Tristan, the worse it would look. But on the other hand, the reporters were human, and their brains had natural limits to their capacity for understanding things that couldn’t be explained by numbers or pure fact. Tristan was alive, and they assumed the rest of the band walked off the stage after the encore, too.
“Can you tell us why you left the band, Tristan?”
“Freedom.” Many humans would kill for an intravenous drip of coffee, and Tristan had a never-ending supply of Venom. He hadn’t bothered with the courtesy of drinking out of a tumbler or whatever fancy glass had been designated for the drink. Tristan was more efficient than that. He drank straight out of the bottle.
I always thought I wanted this. Fame, the endless attention. I did, but it had very clearly defined limits. I wanted people to admire me from behind a line, like a museum piece. I wanted to be thought-provoking and awe inspiring, but when the lights went out, I wanted to be left the fuck alone.
Tristan never got that. No wonder he faked his own death. He needed a minute of peace.
But I wouldn’t let him drink himself into oblivion. I followed him from the media room, wincing when he stumbled.
“Hey.” I startled him. His eyes were glassy when he turned around. “Do you still get stage fright?” I asked.
“No.” He stood so still. Even though I was supernatural, sometimes it was easy to forget we were all something else. Trying so hard to fit into a world that didn’t understand us. “The music completes me.”
“What about the fans?” If he were sober, I would’ve asked him how the hell do you deal with it?
“I need them.” He shrugged before turning around and bumping into the wall.
I had to trot to catch up to him. The bottle swung from his hand, and it was the first thing I was able to reach. “You won’t need this anymore when the show starts.”
He groaned, narrowing his eyes at me. “Have you ever really fed off the energy of the crowd? I know you’re thinking of this as good and bad, and because everyone’s here to see me, it will fix everything. It’s not that easy. Yeah, they’re having a good time, but some of the people in that crowd want some fucked up shit. From me. I can’t give them what they want. I don’t belong to them. And it’s a matter of time before they turn on me. Get sick of the chase and stop coming. You’re lucky. They come to see what you do. No one’s asking you for anything.”
Tristan left me alone in the hallway, speechless. His silhouette took a swig from the bottle at the end of the hallway and his shadow was the only thing that touched me. It had never occurred to me the energy could backfire.
I’d been a jittery mess ever since. Watching Rainey centered me, but she was nervous, too. She couldn’t sit still, spending time before I got called to the stage rearranging my rack of stage clothes, cleaning my makeup brushes, and painting my toenails. They were the same orange as the sun when it tumbled from the sky, much like I did with my silks. And Rainey gave the best foot rubs.
She leaned forward in the mirror, blowing herself an air kiss after painting her lips the color of candy. The only thing that could command my attention away from it was the way her skirt climbed up the back of her thigh.
We both jumped when the production assistant knocked on the door. Rainey held out her hand to me, pulling me off the couch. Her gaze raked the length of my body, making the first sparks twitch deep down inside me. She picked up a wing and fastened it in place.
“I’ll be watching you,” she said when she was done, planting a pink kiss on my collarbone.
The crowd was already chanting my name when I reached the side of the stage. Tristan and Callie leaned against a road case. He held his hand out to me, but I shook my head. “I feed from energy, too.”
I didn’t mean it as a slight; but I had to curate everything fire-related. If the city fell to chaos, I wondered how it would change. If I’d use it as a weapon. And this was why I couldn’t touch him.
He winked, and I was thankful for many things—for starters, this opportunity and that Tristan seemed to get me on a level that no one else did. Rainey was my heart and Blade was my fire, but Tristan shared the part of me that walked out on stage and forgot the rest of the world existed. Like me, he drank the spotlight and thrived off the adoration of the fans. He lied, he did get stage fright. And that’s why he created The Afterlife. Tristan wanted something better.
And most of all, I was thankful that he hadn’t tried to find it at the bottom of a Venom bottle. The glassy-eyed, verge-of-drooling-on-himself look had faded. Under the war paint Tristan wore on stage was a true rock god.
But enough about him. This was my time.
The crowd erupted when the light shined on me. Excitement got the best of me. I worked so hard for this moment and it was happening. Smoke rose from my skin, but it didn’t freak me out anymore. My fire had changed, just like I had. When I reached the bottom of the staircase, I put my feathered hands on my hips, demanding more applause. They’d give me anything I wanted.
Rainey sat in the middle of the front row, crossing her legs and adjusting her skirt like she thought I could look anywhere else. Our gazes caught and all the screams faded to silence, the people disappeared. It had always been the two of us. And no matter what happened, it always would be. She hooked her finger in the hem of her skirt, trailing up to the top of her thigh.
Vampires wouldn’t kill me, but Rainey might.
Focus. The band played behind me, and it was time to introduce Tristan. His presence was no longer a surprise, but he hadn’t lost his flair for the dramatic.
The show had yet to slow down. It was still too new to all of us to have a rhythm to our performance. My next number wasn’t until intermission, when I twisted myself in fabric in time to Tristan’s haunting acoustic piece. It was just him and me on stage, telling a story in the language that was closest to our hearts. Anything else would’ve been too much. My hair draped over my face as I hung upside down, and I tried to find Rainey in the crowd. All I’d be able to see was the top of her blonde head capturing the very edge of the spotlight.
A black hole had engulfed the spot that I swore she should’ve been in, like a tooth that had been knocked out by a sucker punch.
There were a thousand explanations. She would’ve done the pee dance in her seat until my number was done, so that wasn’t one of them. Most of producti
on still thought she was my manager, so there could’ve been official business that called her away. Or I was just plain wrong. That had the best chance of being right.
I almost hit the stage when the silks unraveled. At least there hadn’t been any sparks, just the ever-present smoke. Mustering as much grace as I could, I rushed away from the stage.
“You okay?” Ryder asked when he passed me. I shook my head. “First night jitters. We all get them.” He squeezed my arm and peace washed over me. I was being foolish, and distractions were costly.
Rainey wasn’t in my dressing room either. I had a gap before I was scheduled to explode. Over the last couple weeks, I had the chance to listen to the guys talk about performing, the fans, and all the times they’d had quick, faceless fucks within feet of the stage. Just because they could. I always played by the rules, but tonight I wanted to know what it was like to truly be immortal. Invincible.
I tried not to think about her as I made my first rotation around the pole. It had to be about the fire. It consumed me, and I thought about all I’d done to get it back. And the fact that Rainey had stood beside me through all of it.
Damn it, I was thinking about her again.
Tristan decided to be cute, and he held the flaming iron out to me, snatching it away before I had it in my grasp. Just like that, he could take it from me. He might not have meant it as a reminder, but I understood the lesson.
“Don’t,” was all I had to say to get it back.
He held his hand out, twitching like he’d do it again. I was on the brink of combustion, and he wouldn’t survive his mistake. I only had seconds to get away from him before I ignited.
I fell to my knees in the middle of the stage, deep throating the flame. Ignoring the pole, I crawled to the edge of the stage. I had to see her. The tangle of curls and those pink lips.
She wasn’t fucking there.
The crowd chanted my name, but instead of an exclamation point, it was followed by a question mark. I managed to rise to my feet, stumbling back to the pole like Tristan had in the hallway hours before.
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