by Hope Moore
“You were pretty hard on him.”
“I told him the truth. Arrogant…maybe it’s the money.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think so. You never told him your label. I’m sure—”
“Nope, the man is a wine snob. Wine from Tyler, in his book, is secondary. Besides, he never asked. He assumed I was some home winemaker.”
“He’s really handsome, don’t you think?”
“Yes, and he knows it.”
“Were you attracted to him?”
“Ha. Now you, my friend, are delusional. Nope. And don’t try getting this visit on me and my nonexistent love life. I’m not ready for all that. Whereas you, my friend, are totally ready. I have been thinking about this. I think part of why you are so mixed up about Wade is that you are so ready for that family you want. I’m thinking when you get home, maybe we can set you up on a dating app. That way we can really vet the guys before you meet them.”
Allie started to protest then stopped. “That might actually be a good idea. But we need to wait until Mama comes through this coma. I just can’t go through the stress of that and dating. With what Wade has done for me with the money and care she is getting, I’m going to open my florist shop back up and concentrate on that and Mama for a while. And there will be no men in my future until then.” She meant it, too. It was time to stand on her own and this gift that was Wade and his crazy marriage deal was her second chance at life. Not love. And she would keep that in mind.
Two days later, when Ginny gave her a hug and then drove away, she and Allie both were feeling more confident that she could do this without coming out heartbroken.
She had decided to go ahead and start planning her florist shop and to use her extra time to get everything she could set up from here. She’d find a place, and she realized that she wasn’t held to Tyler; she could open anywhere. And taking to heart her need to stand on her own feet, she decided to look for the perfect place with the best opportunity for success.
She had a plan and she was determined to stick to it.
And she would not let her heart out of the cage she’d rebuilt around it.
The next weeks of her life on the ranch were a bit strained. Nelda came back to work and her mother was doing great. Her own mother was transferred to the rehab unit and she started spending time there at least every other day. She was so grateful to Wade for having spent the money to have her transferred. Wade had gone with her to visit one day and they’d stopped for dinner at a place in Fredericksburg. It was a nice place with outdoor dining and it had been in many ways romantic. She had fought off any emotions that had her longing for him to let down the new wall that he’d put up between them. She knew it was for the best and got on herself for even thinking about getting past that barrier.
After that night, he seemed to put up the barrier even more and he seemed to have more out-of-town cattle buying trips and late evenings working with his cowboys.
And she spent longer days with her mother and when she wasn’t, she was doing research on where she wanted to open her business. She kept looking in areas that were far too close to Stonewall for her own good and had finally settled on College Station. It was a vibrant, growing town with many opportunities and not too terribly far from Tyler. She or Ginny could sneak away for weekends if they wanted to. And there was a regional airport if she needed that.
Her plan was coming together. The only thing that wasn’t was this longing she hadn’t quite been able to overcome that she and Wade might have met under different circumstances and that he might have fallen in love with her. But that was just a dream. The other thing that was holding her back was that her mother wasn’t improving and she looked paler. She left, not feeling comfortable about going home but assured by the nurses that they would contact her if anything changed. She was nearing the ranch when the nurse called and said her mother was in danger of developing pneumonia.
Pneumonia. Her heart lurched. Her hands trembled as she drove up the drive to the ranch. She stopped before she reached the garage and looked across at the stables.
Wade was in the riding pen. Every ounce of her being longed to feel his arms around her. She’d been feeling that and fighting it for weeks now, refusing to cross that line that they’d made when Ginny had been here to visit. But right then, she felt weak and needed him. Not stopping to think, she got out of the car and walked across the lot. She watched him and her heart thrummed with need and a longing so overpowering that she couldn’t resist it.
He was a wonderful rider and she’d learned that part of his passion was training horses. She missed sitting with him on the porch and talking. Those talks had disappeared right after he had promised her that he wouldn’t cross the line again. They had spent as little time as possible together, although when they were around each other they were cordial and polite and oh so distant and constrained. Even Nelda had started to pick up on tension between them.
Thankfully, Nelda was discreet enough not to ask Allie whether they were having problems. But Allie knew that the housekeeper had picked up on the fact that they were not sleeping in the same room and had said nothing. But Allie could see concern in her eyes.
Allie had known it was only a matter of time before the separate bedroom ruse exploded on them. But she didn’t have any worry that Nelda would say anything to hurt them. Or, if, in fact, anyone cared anyway. She had a feeling Wade’s granddaddy had just concocted a way to get his soured-on-women-and-love grandson to give it one more shot. She didn’t think he had set up spies on him. That, she believed, he would have thought was going too far. At least she wanted to believe that was how he felt.
She stopped at the fence and watched him. He glanced at her and her heart lunged against the barriers and nearly knocked the breath out of her. His gaze was raw and she saw longing there, too, before he snapped down the shutters and closed her out. Did he care for her like she cared for him? This contract had become an unsurmountable mountain between them.
“Wade.” She said his name ever so softly.
He turned his horse and rode toward her. “What’s wrong? Weren’t you visiting your mom?”
She didn’t bother to tell him she had been with her mother. It hit her that he could tell something was wrong by just looking at her. “She’s having some issues that are scaring me. The doctors said they’re watching her close but that she is in danger of getting pneumonia.”
He dismounted. “That’s not good. Has she been having trouble?”
“The last few days she’s been having some issues. Small things.”
“And you didn’t tell me.” His eyes shadowed and she felt bad.
“I didn’t want to bother you—”
He reached through the iron bars of the pen and cupped her bicep. “Allie, you are not a bother.” His gaze was piercing and then he looked away—let his hand drop away, too—and she felt his frustration.
She wasn’t sure what she was seeing, though. She felt like a bother to him. That he was impatient for the end of the three months so he could get back to his life and his ranch and not worry about her being around anymore.
“Look, let me put the horse in the shade and then we can talk.”
“I would like that,” she said, really needing to talk to him. She knew she could call Ginny but she knew all the way home from the rehab center that she wanted to talk to Wade.
“I’ll be out of this fence in just a minute. Don’t go anywhere.”
She wasn’t planning on it. At least not for now.
Wade couldn’t believe Allie hadn’t told him her mother had taken a turn for the worse. He had been struggling with staying away from her. And it was driving him crazy. All he thought about was Allie. His concentration was suffering and he was starting to feel as if the date they were supposed to dissolve the marriage was going to be the worst day of his life.
He wanted to talk to her, to know about her day and to tell her about his day. And he’d been holding back because he thought that was what she wanted.
And her not telling him something as important as news about her mother hurt.
She was waiting where he left her. His heart ached seeing the worry in her eyes. He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her and tell her that everything was going to be all right. But he knew that all the money in the world couldn’t help some things. And where her mother was concerned, he’d done everything that could be done and all he could do now was give support and comfort to Allie. And to pray that her mother would be okay and hopefully open her eyes soon.
“Let’s go back and check on her. I’ll take you there right now and we’ll stay as long as needed. Pack an overnight bag if you want and we’ll get a hotel close to the rehabilitation center so you’ll be closer. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. All you need to do is ask.”
She stared at him with those big eyes that looked huge and lost. It was all he could do not to reach for her.
“Could you hold me for a minute?”
“H-hold you?” He couldn’t believe she wanted him to hold her. “Yes, sure, if that’s what you want.” He strode to her and gently took her in his arms. She smelled of sweetness and sunshine and everything nice in his world. His heart thundered as he pulled her closer. He closed his eyes and breathed her in and had to restrain from holding her too tightly because his every instinct was driving him to hold her and never let her go.
“Thank you,” she said, so softly he had to dip his head to hers to hear her words.
“I’m here for you, darlin’.”
“They told me that she could turn for the worse or the better at any time. Wade, I haven’t let myself think about the possibility of her not coming out of this coma.” She lifted her head so she could look up at him. “The moment they told me, all I could think about was telling you and letting you reassure me that it was going to be okay.”
He closed his eyes, knowing that was the one thing he couldn’t honestly tell her. But he would have given everything he owned to be able to do so.
“Allie, I can’t tell you your mother is going to be okay, but I can tell you that I’m hoping and praying she is. And that I’m here beside you no matter what.”
They stared at each other and then she nodded and laid her head back on his chest. He rested his chin on her head and held her tightly. And prayed she didn’t lose someone else she loved.
“I feel helpless and I am so tired of feeling helpless. I know you can’t promise me my mother will live but knowing…knowing I could confide in you helps. I’m sorry, I know we’re not being personal any more—”
“Not true.” He broke into her words. His heart hurt, hurt like a freight train had just smashed through it and blown a tunnel straight through it. Unable to stop himself—not wanting to stop himself, not thinking, not wanting to think, not wanting anything but to comfort her and assure her that they were so far past not getting personal that there was no going back—he dropped his head and kissed her as tenderly as she deserved to be kissed. He longed for more, for the kisses they’d shared before they’d gotten back on track with the all-business deal stated in their contract.
Her sweet lips trembled and he felt her relax against him. Her fingers clenched his shirt against his chest then relaxed and slowly smoothed over his shoulders and around his neck. She sighed softly and it took every bit of concentration to keep the kiss tender. This was about comfort, not passion. She needed a release of the turmoil she was feeling and he’d needed to let her know she was not alone.
Even still, when he forced himself to pull back, his breath was shallow and his heart was on a rampage. “Let’s get our things and head to Kerrville.”
“Okay. I’ll feel better doing that.”
“And I’ll feel better being by your side.”
She looked at him and then nodded, and they went to gather up their things.
Chapter Eighteen
There was a Hilton down the road from the rehab center. It was a competitor of the McCoy hotel conglomerate but it was the closest to her mother. He called and had a room booked before they were in the truck. There was a wedding going on and they only had one room left so he took it. They were, after all, married.
As he drove, his hands tightened on the steering wheel. His thoughts were on her mother but more on the fact that if something happened to her, that would mean that Allie would be all alone. She’d have Ginny but no one else. And the truth hit him. It wouldn’t matter if she had a whole host of family—he would want to be there for her.
But they couldn’t talk about that right now. And they needed something to talk about. “How is your hunt for a shop going for your new florist business?”
Out of the corner of her mouth, he saw her take a deep breath, as if drawing her wits about her. “Good. I think I’m going to relocate it to College Station. It’s a busy, growing town and though there is a lot of competition, I feel confident I can carve out a niche for me.”
College Station was about halfway between Tyler and Stonewall. Three hours in a truck and a mere hiccup in a plane or helicopter. “That’s great.”
“Yes, I think it is. I wanted a new start and I love this area. But…well, that’s closer than Tyler so if I wanted to take a day trip to Fredericksburg or something…it wouldn’t be that far. Or if Ginny wanted to come spend the weekend at my place, then it wouldn’t be too far for her. She doesn’t realize it but it’s good for her to get away from the vineyard some. She’s totally and completely wrapped up in it. I fear she’ll never have anything but the vineyard if she keeps up the way she’s going. I…I’ve learned this last little while that I want a balanced life. She needs one, too. I’m going to grow my business but not at the expense of not having a life.”
He thought she sounded so in control. So not off-balanced as she’d sounded much of the time when they’d first started this three-month fiasco. “You sound more like a woman with her head on straight.”
She turned in the seat and reached her hand out to touch his forearm as he steered the truck. “I’m stronger, Wade. I was shaken by the news of my mother and worried and still am, but on everything else I’m better. I’m probably still a little vulnerable on some things but not on men. I’ll never be taken advantage of again. I’ve learned what to look for in a truly good man and I don’t plan to settle for anything less. You helped me know that.”
He didn’t want her with anyone else.
“I’m honored that you would say that about me.” What was he supposed to say?
She gently squeezed his arm then drew her hand back. “I’m only stating the truth. I’ve never met as good a man as you. I’ll never forget you.”
He closed his eyes momentarily then stared straight ahead, concentrating on getting her to her mother safely.
Her mother was, as she always was, lying so quietly on the bed when they walked into the room. The nurses said that if she didn’t improve, they’d be taking her by ambulance the next morning to the hospital to treat her lungs. Bed patients were so susceptible to succumbing to pneumonia that they didn’t want to wait around.
Wade went in with her, said a gentle hello to her mom, and then he gave her a hug and told her he’d wait right outside the door for her. If she needed him, she was just to call and he’d be there.
Allie gently took her hand in hers. “Mama, can you hear me? I need you to fight. I need you to come back to me. To open your eyes and sit up in this bed and start moving around. I’m worried you’re going to leave me.” Allie laid her head on their hands and fought off the tears. Now was not the time for that. “I’m not ready for you to leave me.” Her throat ached. “But…I need you to know, that if you need to leave me, I’ll be okay.” She wished, oh how much she wished she would feel some life in the hand she held. But there was nothing there so she squeezed it just a bit.
“I love you, Mama. I wish you would wake up and meet Wade. You would like him. Remember all the times you told me what kind of man I should grow up and marry? Well, it wasn’t conventional, but I married him. And h
e is as wonderful as you told me he would be. I…just don’t get to keep him.” She hadn’t meant to say the last part but it had come out and with feeling in the words. Allie remembered so clearly the times her mother would talk to her about finding a man who would respect her, and treat her well, and a man who would protect her and stand by her at all cost. She closed her eyes and Wade’s image filled the space. Gorgeous, amazing Wade. She really wished her mother could meet him.
She really wished she could keep him.
Wade stood outside the door of Mrs. Jordan’s rehab room. The door was cracked open and Allie’s words carried through to him. He closed his eyes and let them spring to life inside his heart. Did she want to keep him?
Could she really want him like he wanted her?
His mind started to churn. Wade picked up his phone and made a call.
When they left the rehab center and headed to the hotel, Allie was quiet.
“They only had one room,” Wade said. “But I figure we can make it work. We’re adults, after all. And it’s a big bed. I didn’t want you to be alone anyway.”
“It’s fine. We are adults and I really don’t want to be alone.” She wanted so much more but wouldn’t dare say the words. This wasn’t that kind of marriage. There was so much she wanted but she’d signed a contract that she planned to uphold. She had given her word and she didn’t plan to complicate Wade’s life any more with her wants and needs. She loved him too much for that.
If after the divorce was done and he had his ranch…if he wanted to see her—maybe…hopefully—then maybe she would get the opportunity to tell him how she felt. But if he didn’t want to see her anymore, then she saw no need in telling him she had fallen in love with him and making him feel bad because she hadn’t listened to his warnings that he would walk away in three months.