by Jeannie Watt
“We do.”
“You just disregard the controlling stuff?”
He considered for a moment. “I don’t react to it.”
“Ah. Just like with me.”
“Right.”
She smiled a little, then hugged her arms just a little tighter. “Is that how you handled coming back to the ranch when you’d had other plans? By not reacting?”
“I...uh...” He’d obviously never tried to articulate how he’d handled the shift in his life. “There wasn’t a lot of sense in reacting or resenting or anything.”
“Really?” She would have reacted and resented if her plans had been side-railed.
“Life is all about choices and I made mine.”
“Or was it made for you?”
A shadow crossed his face before he pulled in a long breath. “That’s not important. You work with what you’re dealt.” Travis turned his attention back to the stove.
Cassie gave a slow nod that he didn’t see since he was studying the kettle as if it was about to tell him the secret of life. The nerve had been located and now the question was, did she touch it twice?
The kettle spout started to steam, and Travis turned off the burner, then poured water over the teabags. Cassie took her cup after he poured, then set it back down again.
“Hot.”
“Due to one of those crazy laws of physics, no doubt.”
“I was always better at chemistry.” Cassie went to the window to stare out through the smear of water that blurred the outside world, wondering if she wanted to bring the conversation back to what he dreamed about—or had dreamed about before life interfered.
The floor creaked as Travis came up behind her. “Tell me what your plans were,” she said without taking her gaze off the window.
“Later.” His hands came up to rest on her shoulders, then his thumbs started doing magical things to her tight muscles.
“Are you attempting to distract me from sussing out the truth?” she asked.
“Totally. I don’t want my nerves touched.” His fingers hit a tight knot in her shoulder. “Do you ever relax?”
“Something about you keeps me on edge.” She bit her lip to keep from moaning as he worked the tension out of her muscles.
His thumbs stilled. “Good edge or bad?”
“I don’t know.” Raindrops smacked into the window in front of her in little kamikaze splatters. “I don’t want to get trapped up here.” An obvious change of subject, but Cassie wasn’t worried about finesse.
“We’ll get home,” he said in a way that made her believe it.
“I don’t like waiting.”
Somehow, she knew he was smiling and his thumbs started working again. “Nobody likes waiting.”
She wished his thumbs weren’t working such magic, but she kept leaning into them. “I hope the road doesn’t turn into gumbo.”
When he didn’t answer, Cassie turned and found herself in a loose embrace. Travis brought his face closer to hers, so close that she could see the flecks of white and gray in his blue eyes. “You are trying to distract me.”
“Is it working?” he asked in a low voice.
“I don’t...”
But whatever she didn’t was of no import when his mouth met hers in a long, slow kiss. He wrapped his arms around her more tightly, their damp jackets pressing into one another. Through the fabric, she could feel his warmth.
“I do,” he murmured when he lifted his head.
“I have no idea what we’re talking about.”
“Then don’t talk.” His mouth met hers again and this time Cassie’s hand slid up around his neck, allowing her to push her fingers into his dark hair. It was so easy to lose herself in his kiss. Never had she felt anything that approached this degree of...right.
She wasn’t ready for right.
She leaned back, her palms trailing down the front of his coat, but stubbornly refusing to fall back to her sides. A crack of thunder made her jump and Travis put his hands on her shoulders to steady her.
Cassie dropped her forehead against his chest and once again his fingers started working their magic. “If you’re doing this to keep me from worrying about my job, it’s working.”
“That isn’t exactly why I’m doing this,” he replied in a low voice. She gave him a dark look, and he touched his forehead to hers. “It’s not the best circumstances, granted, but sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we don’t get to pick our circumstances. We have to work with what we got.”
The words echoed his philosophy about his return to the ranch. “You want to work with this? I thought we agreed not to get ahead of ourselves.”
“Define ahead.”
“I don’t know.” She stepped away, instantly missing his warmth, then half turned toward the window and raked her hand through her damp hair.
He gave a slow nod. “Like it or not, you’ve been a big part of my life ever since the first day we met, when you beat me in that footrace and rubbed it in so badly.”
“Only because you said those embarrassing things about me to save face.”
“Okay, I laid down the first challenge. Then you laid down yours. Um...”
“Calf riding at the junior rodeo. I beat you.”
“And then the essay contest.”
“You talked smack about me again. And I beat you again.”
“While you abstained from talking smack, correct?”
She bit her lip and stared up into his handsome face. The bruise around his eye was fading. But even with the bruise, he was nearly perfect—in her eyes anyway. “I might have uttered a word or two.”
“I recall. My point is, I think we owe it to ourselves to see where this takes us.”
Her heart started beating harder. It was one thing to kiss him, another to see where things took them. What if things took a turn she wasn’t prepared for?
Oh, you mean like right now?
She definitely meant like right now. Especially when he lifted his eyebrows in a very serious way and said, “No plans. No strategies. No overanalysis.”
“What?”
He lightly kissed her lips. “Let’s just let this flow. You know...relax...and see where this is taking us.”
“With your grandfather watching us like a hawk. Uh-huh. That’ll be really comfortable.”
Travis dropped his hands and shook his head. He was about to speak when Cassie cocked her head, then raised her gaze to the ceiling. “Listen.”
“The rain is slowing down.”
What had been a steady drumming was now more of an intermittent patter.
Momentary reprieve. She’d take it. “Looks like the waiting is over.”
“Looks like it.”
Neither of them moved.
Finally, Travis lifted his hand to trace the backs of his fingers along her jawline in a move so tender that it made her throat tighten. “I know working without a net is hard for you, Cass. It’s no picnic for me either, but I see no sense in driving ourselves crazy during wedding prep. Let’s just see how this all plays out. No pressure.”
“Do you know me at all?”
He smiled, his cheeks creasing in a way that made her want to trace the lines with her fingertips. “I do. And I care for you. But I also know that we can’t ignore this any more than we were able to ignore our rivalry.”
She prided herself on being a straight talker, but she wasn’t ready to admit that she cared for him, too. Not when it would cause already choppy waters to churn.
You do more than care. You’re falling for him, and you’re scared to death of the ramifications.
Ample reason to step back.
But Cassie did not step back.
“I’m not at a good point to rearrange my life.” Unless Rhonda broke her promise. Then all bets were off, and Cassie would
be searching for a job in upper administration.
“I’m not asking you to rearrange anything. I’m asking you to let us explore for a week or so and see where we are at the end.”
Just go with the flow. See where things end up.
Why was that so terrifying?
Because, like Travis said, she was performing without a net, venturing into territory she couldn’t control.
You’re risking being hurt. Or hurting him.
But if she didn’t take that risk, where would she be? Wondering. Debating. Probably feeling as frustrated and scattered as she did now.
She met Travis’s gaze and asked herself one simple question. Did she trust him?
Probably more than she trusted herself right now.
“I... Okay. Let’s do this.”
“Let’s,” he agreed, gently touching her lips. She loved the feel of his mouth on hers. The warmth, the promise. It was borderline overwhelming.
Cassie pulled back. “But I want the option of stopping at any time.”
“Sure.”
“Okay, then.” A flash of nervous energy shot through her.
“Okay,” Travis repeated with a smile. He jerked his head toward the door. “Ready to load boards before the next squall?”
Cassie pulled her gloves out of her pocket. “I’m ready for anything.”
She wasn’t, but if she said it out loud enough times, maybe it would be true.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“I SAW THIS COMING from a mile away,” Darby said in a duh voice.
“There’s no way you saw this coming.” Cassie reached back to adjust the pillow behind her knot-free neck. Then, because her curiosity got the better of her, she asked, “How?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the way he stepped in to try to protect you from Ray.”
“He was just...”
“What? Putting himself in harm’s way for you?”
“He would have done it for anyone.”
Darby’s silence said more than a contradiction would have.
“I’m starting to regret this call,” Cassie murmured into the dark bedroom.
“Uh-huh. What’s your plan?”
“We’re not supposed to have a plan.”
“You guys laid out parameters to not have a plan?”
“Travis laid out parameters. We’re going to go with the flow and see what happens until the wedding.”
Darby started laughing. “I want to see that.”
Cassie bit her lip to keep a wry smile from forming. This wasn’t a laughing matter. It was serious stuff. “I can go with the flow.” The smile broke through as Darby snorted in response. “I can fake it,” she amended, even though she wasn’t very good at faking anything with Travis. He had a magical ability to make her utter deep truths.
“I’m curious to see where this takes you,” Darby said.
“Me, too. And a little afraid.” Total truth. She was afraid of wading deeper into a situation that could end in any number of ways.
“Take things as they come. Roll with those punches. I know you can do that.”
Cassie pressed a hand against her forehead as she stared up at the dark ceiling. “I’m supposed to embrace chaos?”
“It doesn’t have to be chaos.”
“No. I think it’ll be chaos.”
“It could be an adventure. If it doesn’t work out, then you fake it at family functions. And honestly, how many of those will you actually attend?”
Ouch.
“Have an adventure, Cassie.”
Cassie closed her eyes and rolled over onto her back. Maybe she could have her adventure and control things, too. Or maybe she could let go for a while. She wanted to let go, to not think of consequences, but her brain was hardwired into cause and effect.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Check back in with me regularly. It gives me something to think about while I wait for a job offer to save me from this sinking ship.”
“Sorry I hogged the entire conversation. How’s the job search going?”
“It goes and you don’t get to deflect. I want you to focus on loosening up. I’ll expect a progress report soon.” There was a brief silence, then Darby said, “Relax. Embrace. Enjoy.”
Cassie let out a breath and squeezed her forehead again. “I’ll try.”
“Atta girl. Progress report. Soon.”
Cassie set her phone on the nightstand and rolled over, folding her arm under the pillow. An adventure. Right.
* * *
TRAVIS PICKED UP a board from the jumbled pile the wood had been dumped into when they dragged it off the flatbed the previous day. He sighted down the length of the board and found it to be surprisingly true, considering the number of Montana winters it had been through. Recycled wood of this quality brought a premium price and they had at least two or three more loads they could collect. He wasn’t certain what they’d do with it, but maybe it was time to get it out of the weather.
After setting the board in what was to be the good pile, he took hold of the broken end of a wider board and started working it free. Cassie’s car pulled around the house, pulling to a stop on the opposite side of the driveway from the barn, under the elm tree that hung over the backyard fence.
He had no idea how the day would play out. Yesterday, the rain had started coming down in sheets again as they started for home with the load of reclaimed lumber. He’d focused on keeping the truck on the slippery road, while Cassie had braced herself to keep from being tossed sideways when the truck bumped and skidded. By the time they’d hit the Forest Service gate and drove into the high pasture, neither of them seemed to have anything to say.
Will stepped out of the back door as Cassie got out of her car. She waved to him, and he raised a hand in greeting before continuing on his way to the tractor idling near the barn. Travis breathed a silent sigh of relief. At least his grandfather was acting a lot more like his old self. He hadn’t casually grilled Travis about his trip with Cassie yesterday evening, and he’d been equally silent on the matter that morning over coffee.
Maybe he thought his job was done...or maybe Rosalie had had a word.
Either way, Travis was good with it.
He laid the broken board onto the not-so-good stack, evening it out with the toe of his boot as Cassie entered the barn. What effect would her night of deep thought have on their plan?
That plan being no plan, of course.
Cassie pulled her gloves out of her back pocket as she came to a stop next to the damp wood pile. Then she glanced back over her shoulder at the sunny sky. “Wouldn’t you know it? No rain today.”
“According to Grandpa, we’re good for several days.” Which was why Will wanted to start cutting hay as soon as possible.
“After yesterday, I believe him.” She tapped her gloves in her palm as if she was about to launch into something.
“What’s up?”
One corner of her mouth twisted up. “I’m off my game.”
Not what he expected. The Cassie of old would have never announced a weakness.
“Maybe because it’s not the same game as usual?”
“I did a lot of thinking last night.” Her forehead wrinkled. “Most of it in circles.”
“You need that plan.”
“I’ve never done much without one.”
“Except the impulsive stuff.”
“I’m talking big picture.”
“I’m talking not talking.”
She frowned at him and he reached out to take her hand and lace their fingers together. “We have mundane stuff to focus on—wood to sort, panels to build. And...good news,” he said in an encouraging voice, “that involves a plan.”
She fought a smile and lost, and Travis had just decided he might have to kiss that mouth when the tractor en
gines coughed and sputtered and then died, followed by a colorful curse.
He met Cassie’s gaze, lifted his eyebrows, then stepped back as Will came stalking around the barn.
“Trouble?” he asked.
“Dash lights are flashing like crazy. And right when I need this thing to behave,” Will grumbled. He nodded at Cassie. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” she said as he headed past them to the toolshed. He disappeared inside, but left the door open.
Travis nudged the pile of lumber in front of him with the toe of his boot. “I sorted the boards into those that will need damaged parts cut off and those that are usable as is. And I set up the chop saw.” He jerked his head toward the makeshift bench where he’d set up the power saw and other tools. “I’ll show you what I have in mind.”
“What will happen to all the stuff outside?” she asked as they crossed to the bench.
“Grandpa has it separated, and most of it will go to either the landfill or to scrap. I’ll load a trailer using the tractor bucket after he gets done in the field today. If he gets out in the field, that is.”
“If you have to help work on the tractor, I can handle the woodworking.”
“You just want to show off.”
“My skills are considerable,” she said. She lifted a rusty hinge that he’d set on the table that held the chop saw. “You’ve been gleaning. I saw these in the scrap trailer earlier.”
“Guilty. I have enough to make hinged dividers, which means that they’ll be easier to set up than those that need other means of support, and they’ll look cool.”
“Kind of getting into this, aren’t you?”
“I am,” he said in a voice that clearly indicated he was speaking about more than a woodshop project. “And you?”
She took a step closer, holding her hands behind her back as if she was afraid of what she might do with them. He took a quick glance at the toolshed, was about to reach for her when his grandfather popped out again. Instead he dropped his hand and rolled his eyes as Cassie laughed.
“You’d best lay out the plan for me, just in case you end up mechanicking.”