by A B Turner
No more than an hour later, Cal and I were sitting at the kitchen table, he was munching on a huge chocolate chip cookie, while I carefully applied the little bit of make-up I owned. I grimaced as I looked at my reflection,
“What’s wrong?” Cal asked thoughtfully, between bites,
“I don’t look right,” I replied, talking more to myself than him.
“Let me see,” he replied.
I looked at him, a slight frown clouded his face as he studied me, after a few seconds, he picked up his cookie again,
“I think you look beautiful,” he said firmly, “I don’t know why you’re putting that goopy stuff on your face, you look just fine as you are.”
“Awwww, thanks Cal,” I said gratefully, “You’ve made me feel better.”
I opted to put away the mirror and make up, after all, Cal’s words were exactly what I needed to hear, so it seemed pretty dumb to contradict them by looking again.
Just then Uncle Jim appeared at the kitchen door,
“Anyone home?”
Cal literally jumped out of his seat, he was already wearing his hat which almost fell off with the sudden force of his movement.
“We’re home!” he yelled.
I heard Uncle Jim carefully scraping his boots on the wire matting before coming in,
“Well, that’s okay then, it was so quiet when I walked up here, I was worried you might have been eaten by lions.”
Cal giggled nervously,
“There aren’t any lions around here! You’re silly, Uncle Jim.”
Jim crept over to the window and looked out furtively,
“Looks like they’ve gone then,” he whispered theatrically,” Thank the Lord for that!”
I laughed and was about to say something when I heard a car pulling up outside,
“Looks like your friend is here,” Jim said, “You got everything you need, Chicky?”
I nodded and walked to the door, as I passed him, he pressed some money into my hand,
“A little bit extra, get yourself a drink or something,” before I had a chance to say anything, he spoke again, “Although no beer, okay?”
I was going to politely return his money, but the merest glance at his face showed, it would be a futile gesture and would also potentially hurt his feelings.I thanked him and, after giving Cal a quick hug, I went outside to the waiting car.
For the whole trip to school, Louise’s Mum had music blaring on her car radio, she said it would get us in the mood for the night and she was right. The three of us sang, at the very tops of our voices, with every tune the DJ played – even songs I didn’t know I knew ! We were having such a great time, I was almost sad when the journey ended, but instantly felt better when I saw the crowd walking through the gates. I felt Louise grip my arm,
“We are here,” she whispered, “Can you believe this is real?”
I shook my head, my hand on hers, as the wave of both pure excitement and intense trepidation seemed to hit me at the same time.
After promising her, we would be out on time, we watched Louise’s Mum drive away and then we followed everyone else into the school building. Almost immediately, the whole place seemed wildly different from normal, even the bland, boring, all too familiar corridors, were now bright and welcoming. As we edged our way through the crowd, the sound of thumping drumbeats and pounding bass lines grew louder and louder. I bought our tickets and we went into the main hall, it was quickly filling up and so, as if we were on some kind of tide, Louise and I found ourselves being washed closer and closer to the stage. Everyone around us was bouncing up and down to the music, so we just joined in, all traces of nerves having disappeared, I felt a kind of freedom, like every inhibition I had ever had, was gone only to be replaced by this sense of being a part of everything that was around me. In my head, I tried to make some sense of what I was feeling, but that lasted for no more than a few moments, this was no time for thinking – this was a time for just being right here, right now. After three bands had performed, there was an announcement of a break, so we moved towards the refreshments table and grabbed two of the water bottles, before moving out into one of the corridors. The air in the hall had been so hot and stuffy, it was a real relief to have some space to breathe, as we simultaneously gulped down the refreshing drinks. Louise leant back against the wall,
“Oh I needed that,” she gasped, her cheeks flushed with excitement, “You having fun?”
“Hell yeah!” I answered, “And we only just got here.”
Louise pointed at the band posters on the wall,
“We’ve still got all of them to see..”
She was about to say something else when something obviously caught her attention, she moved over to one picture,
“Oh look at him,” she said quietly, I moved next to her so I could see better,
“Which one?” I asked, carefully examining the four brooding faces of one particular band, I heard her sigh heavily and then she pointed at one,
“Him obviously,” she replied while impatiently jabbing the picture with her finger,
I looked closer, all four guys looked pretty normal to me, in fact, to be truthful, it seemed if you made them take off their sunglasses and they actually smiled instead of trying to be moody, you probably wouldn’t notice them at all. But naturally I didn’t give my thoughts any voice at all, one look at the way Louise was gazing at them, made it clear it wouldn’t be welcome. So instead I grabbed her arm,
“Come on then, we need to get back in there and near the front, the break is almost over and we might be able to get close if we move.”
I felt no resistance from her as I pulled her through the returning crowd and found us a place to stand, no more than a few feet away from the edge of the stage. After another three bands played, it was finally time for Louise’s new favourite to perform. As we watched, several young guys dressed in black ran on to the stage and started setting up equipment, sensing something amazing was about to happen, the crowd behind us pushed forward. For a moment, the now heavy, sweat-filled air seemed to overcome me, but I took several deep breaths and tried to calm myself. Louise must have seen there was something wrong and mouthed,
“Are you okay?”
As there was now so much noise, any kind of conversation was impossible, despite a slight feeling of panic, I nodded back reassuringly.
When, at last, the band appeared, the roar from the crowd was nothing less than deafening, the four members quickly waved before the guitarist crashed a series of mind-blowing chords. As the first song began, the crowd surged forward again, everyone around me was dancing, singing, jumping – all thoughts of how anyone looked were gone, we were all just lost in every note and it was nothing less than incredible. The lead singer prowled around the stage as he growled some words, then seemed to be almost airborne when his voice soared. As he looked down at us, for the tiniest second, everything seemed to fall silent as his eyes met mine. His eyes were dark, almost black against his pale skin, his unruly mop of spiked hair only made his face seem even thinner. It was as if the world was standing completely still and there was only him and me, he smiled a kind of lop-sided grin, as if he knew what I was feeling, I smiled back up at him. He turned away and strutted to the other side of the stage, as I watched him, I knew, ridiculous as it sounded, in that moment we had shared, I had never felt more alive in my life. The rest of their set went in a blur of noise, flashing lights, sweaty bodies surging back and forth towards the stage until, with obviously nothing left to give, after one last crescendo, the band waved and disappeared into a cloud of dry ice. When the main hall lights came back on after so long in semi-darkness, my eyes almost stung as they struggled to readjust. I was about to turn to Louise, when she suddenly hugged me so tight I could hardly catch my breath,
“Wasn’t that the best thing you have ever seen?” she gasped.
“It was amazing,” I agreed, wiping a stray bead of sweat from my forehead, while pushing my hair from my eyes. A quick look o
ver my shoulder showed there was now the crowd was dispersing, there was a clear path to the large doors at the end of the hall. I was about to suggest we moved, when a man’s voice called out over the PA,
“Are you ready to party?”
This was quickly followed by a pounding drumbeat so loud, I could feel the floorboards shaking under my feet. A huge cheer went up from the crowd, Louise grabbed my hand and we almost ran to those doors. Once in the corridor, we were both panting heavily,
“I’m sorry, I just really needed to get out of there, I am so hot,” she gasped.
“No problem,” I replied breathlessly, “Let’s get some water.”
We took two water bottles and went outside, the cool evening air seemed so filled with oxygen, it made me feel pretty light-headed. We perched on the wall and just sipped our drinks, the noise from inside was still loud but muffled by the towering red brick walls of the school. Several silent minutes passed, as we were both just relieved to be somewhere not only peaceful but much less claustrophobic. As I drained the last of my water, I looked at Louise, there was a faraway look in her eyes and a slight smile resting gently on her lips,
“What are you thinking about?” I asked, she swung round to face me,
“The whole night really, but mostly about JK..”
When I obviously looked confused, she playfully punched me on the arm,
“The lead guitarist, you idiot. we’ve just spent the last 45 minutes watching them.”
I laughed,
“Sorry, I’m still a bit shell-shocked by it all.”
She edged forward, as if she was going to whisper something secret, even though we were alone on the wall,
“He was even better close-up and I’m sure he looked straight at me, more than once,” she paused obviously reliving those moments, “I’m telling you, I would do pretty much anything with him.”
I laughed again,
“Perhaps we won’t tell your Mum that bit.”
She shook her head,
“That’s one of those things on a need to know basis, and she never needs to know.”
I nodded my agreement,
“Anyway, did you see anyone you liked?” she asked curiously, I was about to say no, when I could see she was looking at me too intently and, aside from anything else, she knew me way too well,
“The lead singer was pretty cute,” I replied, trying to sound as if I didn’t really care at all. Louise sat back,
“Really? You liked him? I thought he looked a bit wasted and so skinny too, what did you like?”
I suddenly felt awkward and embarrassed,
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “There was something about his hair and his eyes were so dark…” at first I didn’t realise my voice was trailing off as I got lost in the memory, but Louise’s giggle quickly brought me back to reality,
“Was he dreamy?” she joked, I shook my head in mock disgust,
“You’re so funny,” I answered, before adding, “I wish I knew his name.”
Louise almost sprang off the wall,
“It will be on the poster we saw in the corridor, come on, let’s find out.”
We went back inside and, sure enough, there was the picture and the names were written in a kind of scrawled graffiti.
“There,” Louise said triumphantly pointing at the poster, “There’s JK, Bobby, Gino and..that’s him, isn’t it ?”
I nodded excitedly,
“His name’s Nick,” she read, she peered closer at his face,
“He does have nice eyes, I suppose, but JK has it all,” she sighed, her finger tracing over the picture. Before I really thought, I carefully took down the picture, folded it and put it in my bag,
Louise gasped,
“What the hell are you doing?” she whispered hoarsely.
“We need a souvenir of tonight,” I answered, glancing both ways along the corridor which was thankfully empty, “We can share it.”
She smiled, then glanced up at the clock,
“We still have some time before Mum comes, let’s go back in, shall we?”
I nodded enthusiastically, so I followed her back into the crowded hall, which seemed to have split between the people throwing themselves into dancing and those who had coupled up and were now frantically making out in the darker recesses of the room. As we passed, I couldn’t help but hear bits of conversations,
“Come on baby, let me just touch…”
“Don’t do that, someone will see..”
“Oh God, that feels so good..”
“You’re so fucking hot..”
I’m not really sure why, but I wished I could un-hear those words, I felt like I was intruding, even though it wasn’t on purpose, so I just looked straight ahead, focusing on the back of Louise’s head. When we reached a good place, a song we had both always liked started to play and we danced. At first, we were both obviously self-conscious, but as soon as the ridiculously catchy chorus began, our inhibitions seemed to disappear and we jived and lurched around without a single, solitary care about what anyone else might be thinking of us. During a brief pause in the music, Louise pointed up at the clock and leaned forward to speak in my ear,
“We’d better get going, Mum will be here any minute.”
For the briefest moment, I felt myself wanting to argue, I wanted this night to last as long as possible, but I knew she was right and so we slipped back through the crowd, down the corridor and out of the main doors. We resumed our place back on the wall, knowing we would be able to see the car as soon as it arrived. After a few moments, I heard a scuffling noise coming from the bushes behind the wall, I glanced behind me, expecting to see either a cat or something, but nothing appeared. I was about to say something to Louise, when, it was obvious by her face, she had heard something too as she was peering through the dense foliage. Suddenly a boy appeared, his startled brown eyes looked anxiously from me to Louise and then back again, he hastily buttoned his jeans and, without speaking, he pushed between us and clambered over the wall. Within seconds, he had gone back into the school, leaving us both completely dumbfounded.
“Who was that?” Louise queried.
“I think his name is Johnathan..er…somebody…he’s in my history class,” I replied, while my brain frantically tried to remember his last name, at last it came to me,
“Johnathan Squire.”
“What was he doing in there?” Louise, “Seems a bit weird.”
I was about to answer, when another face appeared in the bushes, this time it was a girl, her long blonde hair was very dishevelled and as she stood up, she started brushing leaves off her pale pink skirt. She seemed oblivious to the fact she was topless until she noticed Louise and me, she blushed slightly and reached down towards her feet. Still without speaking, she put on her bra and slipped a white cropped t-shirt over her head, I wanted to say something but my mind was a complete blank. Once she was dressed, she reached out her hand to me,
“Are you going to help me out of here?” she asked with more than a hint of sarcasm combined with weariness. I took her hand and pulled her up, she stepped lightly on to the wall and then jumped down in front of us. She looked quizzically at us both,
“Guys are such jerks, aren’t they? You give them what they want and then they just leave you in the bushes, I am so done with their crap.”
For the second time in as many minutes, I wanted to speak but no words came to mind, so it was very lucky Louise was there,
“You’re so right,” she said wisely, “Sometimes it’s just not worth it,..is it ?”
The girl nodded,
“You got that right, especially that guy, whatshisname, it was over so damn fast, pretty sure he’d never even seen a real boob before, let alone touched one.”
As I was starting to feel like some kind of goldfish, as I knew I was sitting there with my mouth open but no words had come out yet, I opted just to smile knowingly. She turned and started to walk inside, as we watched, she paused and looked back, I was e
xpecting her to make us swear we wouldn’t tell anyone, but instead, she just called back,
“Have a good night, okay?”
“You too,” I replied, so thankful I had finally said something. Once we were sure she was gone, Louise and I launched into our usual chaotic tumble of conversations we had when something unexpected happened and we couldn’t wait to share our thoughts. We talked over each other, gasped and gabbled for at least five minutes before having been forced to pause for breath, we rested back again.
I was about to add just one more opinion, when Louise jumped down off the wall,
“There’s Mum,” she said quickly and we walked over to the waiting car.
All the way home, her Mum asked us about the night and we took turns to talk about the bands we had seen and our crazy dancing, she laughed,
“Good for you, nothing like letting your hair down and just going for it.”
Suddenly I felt tired, so I rested back and just listened to Louise finish her description of the night we had shared, although I couldn’t help but notice, she made no mention of the girl from the bushes. Once we pulled up outside my house, I quickly hugged Louise and gave her the poster,
“You can have it first,” I insisted, and even in the darkness, I could see her broad smile,
“I’ll look after it,” she whispered, “Promise.”
I walked up to the front door and turned back to wave as the car disappeared down the lane, then I went inside. Uncle Jim was sitting at the kitchen table poring over a newspaper with a half-drunk cup of coffee next to him, he looked up at me,
“Did you have a good time, Chicky? Looks like you did.”
“It was amazing,” I answered, “Is Mum home?”
He shook his head,
“No, she called earlier and said she was going to be late.”
I sighed, I wanted to have the same kind of conversation with her, Louise and her Mum shared, but, the truth was, even if she had been home, she wouldn’t have been interested, so instead I just asked,
“Is Cal okay?”
Uncle Jim chuckled,
“Boy can he talk? But yeah, we had a good time and I think he enjoyed being with the animals.”