by Linda Warren
Ana got to her feet. “You’ll find a way.”
Rachel hugged Anamarie. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through.”
“Thank you. Please call me if you hear anything about Rico.”
Ana closed the door and went back to bed. Mickey followed and curled up next to her. She clutched the dog, knowing they both missed Dusty. After the events of the day, her mind was supercharged and sleep eluded her. She just kept wondering where Rico was and if he was okay.
Her last thought was: Come home, Rico. Just come home.
* * *
THE BRIGHT MORNING sun woke Rico. He lay between two trees in a pile of leaves. He got to his feet and brushed the dirt and leaves from his clothes. For a moment he wondered where he was and what he was doing here in the woods. Then it all came rushing back and it brought him to his knees.
Dusty was gone.
Rico didn’t cry. He was through shedding tears over something he couldn’t change. Getting to his feet, he reached for his hat and realized it was gone. He had no idea where it was. All he could see in front of him were tree trunks, some small and some big. He started walking through the tree maze and he knew he was on the property the Rebels hadn’t cleared. It was miles away from the ranch. Sweat poured from his face and soaked his clothes. His long hair was hot and heavy. The July heat took its toll. Thirst gnawed at his dry throat.
Suddenly, he walked out of the woods into a low valley. The grass was brown, except for one spot which could mean only one thing; a natural spring. He ran toward it and fell onto his belly and crawled the rest of the way until he reached water. Cupping his hands, he scooped up water and brought it to his parched mouth over and over. Then he rolled onto his back, letting the mud cool his heated body.
He rose to a sitting position and froze. A huge bobcat was on the other side of the spring. The cat edged closer with a low growl in his throat, his eyes on Rico. There were a lot of wild animals out here and he didn’t have a weapon, except for the knife on his belt. All the Rebels carried a knife on the ranch. He reached for it and slid it out of its sheath in one easy movement so as not to startle the animal.
The cat drank and never took his eyes off Rico. He kept waiting for the animal to lunge toward him, but instead the cat turned and bounded into the woods. Rico sank back with a sigh of relief. After a while, he drank more water, but he knew he had to keep moving. The sun bore down on him and he had to reach shade. He kept walking until his legs would no longer hold him. He came upon another spring and bedded down for the night.
He sat some distance away and watched as deer drank from the spring. A squirrel chased a blackbird away and then night fell like a shade on a window shutting out everything but his thoughts. Crickets serenaded loudly, but all he could hear was Dusty.
Rico, come get me! Rico, Rico, Rico...
He wasn’t ever going to get that out of his head. Not until he accepted that Dusty wasn’t his kid. Dusty wasn’t his blood, but in every other way he and Dusty had connected. And then Ana... No, he couldn’t think about her. It was just too much.
A growl distracted him and he reached for his knife. The bushes rustled and Rico tensed, but soon the growl faded into the distance. He dozed on and off and when the sun peeked through the blue clouds he walked to the spring and drank water. Then he set off walking again. He had no idea where he was going. He just had to keep moving to keep the pain at bay.
* * *
ANAMARIE SPENT HER days crying and watching her phone, waiting for Rachel to call. Rico was still missing and Egan was still looking for him. Ana called her whole family and told them she needed time and surprisingly they stayed away.
Finally she realized she had to stop wallowing in her misery. She had to do something. So she decided to clean her house from top to bottom. Getting rid of the dust and cobwebs was cathartic, releasing all her pent-up energy. By the evening she was tired and every muscle in her body ached. That night she welcomed the sleep that claimed her. Sleep without precious memories.
* * *
THE NOONDAY SUN was a killer and Rico removed his mud-caked shirt to hold over his head. He was in a clearing of tall dried weeds that scraped against his mud-caked jeans. Thirst once again gnawed at his throat, but there was no spring in sight. Then he saw it—a makeshift road that went into the hills. He knew that road. He’d helped Egan make it. It led to the Rebel cabin on Crooked Creek. The cabin was the first home of the Rebels who had settled here in the 1800s. When Egan and Rachel had first married, they’d camp out on weekends. They needed an easier way to get there so Rico helped Egan make a road so a Polaris Ranger could get through.
Rico hurried up the road, but thirst was about to get him. His mouth and throat were dry and it was hard to produce saliva. He needed water fast. He kept walking. Using every ounce of strength he had, he climbed the hill. Water was at the cabin. He just had to get there.
By the time he made it, his body was bathed in sweat and it ran from his hair, his forehead. His breathing was labored, but once he saw the tin roof of the old cabin he got a burst of renewed energy. He fell down by the old well then got up and pumped the well handle trying to bring up the water. He pumped until his muscles ached. The first trickle of water he caught in his mouth. Then he pumped more and drank until he was revived. He sat on the ground and drew long breaths. That’s when he realized he smelled and he was filthy.
He found a bar of soap in the one-room log cabin and grabbed a towel Rachel had left there. With those two items in his hand, he made his way down to Crooked Creek. Stripping out of his clothes, he glanced around and didn’t understand why because there was no one out here for miles. He picked up the bar of soap and stepped into the clear waters of the creek and scrubbed the dirt from his body and hair. The water cooled his sunburned skin.
After he finished, he wrapped the towel around his waist and made his way back to the cabin. There he washed his clothes and hung them in a tree. That’s when hunger growled in his stomach. Rico knew that Egan kept SpaghettiOs here and it didn’t take him long to find them. He sat on the stoop and ate and then grabbed a quilt to bed down on the porch. It was too stifling in the cabin. Soon he would have to make his way home to a life without Dusty and Ana. Although the thought stirred up the pain again, he was strong enough now to at least think about it.
* * *
ANA COULDN’T SIT in the house any longer with the memories. She started work on her shop. Rico was going to put up the wall to separate the party room from the cake shop, but now she would have to hire someone. She really needed to go back to work.
She was sweeping the floor for the second time when her dad walked in. “Hey, I saw your car outside. How you doing?”
She waffled her hand back and forth. “So-so.”
“You look good.”
“Thank you, Dad.” She leaned on the broom. “Do you know a good carpenter who could put up a wall?” She pointed to where Rico had marked it. “And cabinets? And flooring?”
“Yeah.” He thumbed toward his chest. “Me.”
“No, I didn’t mean...” She didn’t want her dad to do that. He had enough work to do in his welding shop.
Her dad looked around at the empty building. “I can come over here every afternoon and get quite a bit done. If I need help, I’ll just call Bubba.”
“I’ll be here to help, Dad. You won’t need Bubba.”
Her dad pulled off his baseball cap and scratched his head. “Well...”
She let the broom drop to the floor with a thudding sound that echoed in the empty space. Placing her hands on her hips, she said, “I can do anything Bubba can do and probably faster and better.”
“Okay, okay.” He pulled a pencil out of the front pocket of his overalls. “I’ll make a list of everything you’ll need.”
“Rico has already made a list. I just have to order it and pick it up in Temple.”
; “Oh.” He slid his pencil back into the pocket, the lines on his face deepened.
“It’s okay, Dad. We can talk about Rico.”
“I just hate that he hurt you.”
“He’s hurting too.”
“Yeah.” Her dad nodded. “It’s just a sad situation.”
“Yes, it is, but I plan to stay busy and open this business by Christmas. What do you think? Can we do it?”
“You bet.”
At her dad’s words, her stomach cramped. Rico used to say that all the time, but she wasn’t going to wallow in any more pain. She had to move forward.
* * *
RICO SAT ON the porch in his jeans watching the deer at the creek when he heard the pounding of hooves. Someone was approaching on a horse. He didn’t move. He just watched as the rider came into view. Egan. A very different Egan with a growth of beard and a haggard look pulled at his face.
“Rico!” Egan shouted and made his way to him. “Man, am I glad I found you.”
“I didn’t know I was lost.”
Egan sank down beside him. “We’ve been looking for you for days.”
“Why? I told you I needed some time alone.”
Egan removed his hat and swiped a hand through his sweaty hair. “You’re a part of this family and we’re all worried about you. We’ve searched everywhere.”
“We’ve?”
“All of us, even Mom and Grandpa were on horseback. We shut down hay season until we could find you.”
“What?” He was shocked. He never meant for that to happen. Hay was a big part of Rebel income. He just assumed they’d go on with their lives until he got his act together. “Y’all shouldn’t have done that.”
“Rico, we all have kids and know what it’s like when something happens to one of them. We just wanted to make sure you were okay and to be there if you needed us. The same as we would do for anyone in this family.”
Family. They kept throwing that word at him and he ducked every time. He wasn’t a Rebel. He wasn’t blood, but Dusty wasn’t his blood either and he’d loved him as if he was his own. That was a sobering thought.
There was silence for a moment and then he said, “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” Egan told him. “You just have to come home.”
“I... I’m not ready just yet.”
“Okay. I’ll stay until you’re ready because I’m not leaving until you do.”
Rico looked at his friend. He had never realized that when gang members in prison were cruelly taunting Egan and Rico had stepped in that he would have a friend for life. But then, he was friends with all the Rebels and maybe he was trying to deny something that he already was. A part of the family.
“You look like hell,” Rico told him.
“Says the man who looks scarier than I’ve ever seen him. What’s up with your hair? It’s everywhere.”
“I washed it in the creek. I got a minnow in it, but I think I got it out. I’m not sure.”
Egan chuckled and it relieved the tension that had welled up in Rico.
Rico glanced toward Egan’s horse. “You don’t by any chance have a steak in those saddlebags, do you?”
“Nah, but something that will help.” Egan got up and went to rummage in his saddlebags. He came back with protein bars and beef jerky and dumped them into Rico’s lap.
“Thanks,” Rico said, tearing into a package of beef jerky.
Egan went to the well and came back with a bucket of water. They sat eating in silence.
“Tastes like steak,” Rico said with a touch of humor.
“Yeah, anything would at this point.” Egan chuckled.
Rico looked down at Crooked Creek and so many emotions erupted inside him. But for the first time he was able to look at his situation and not feel like his insides were caving in.
“She played me.”
“What?” Egan’s head jerked up. “Who?”
“Darlene Miller played me like a pro. She needed Dusty somewhere safe so her sister couldn’t get him and she unknowingly hit on my weakness.”
“Foster care.”
“Yeah. I should have let Dusty go into foster care. He would’ve done fine and Anamarie and I wouldn’t be going through our own private hell now. And Dusty would have been glad to see his mother. Instead, he’s hurting just like us. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”
“You know Anamarie...”
“I don’t want to talk about her,” he snapped.
Egan held up his hands. “Okay, but we will talk about her later.”
“Maybe. Depends on who’s the strongest.”
“Don’t pull that on me. As Elias is always saying you could tie me into a pretzel.”
“Just remember that.”
“I’m sorry for everything you had to go through,” Egan said softly.
“I know. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Okay.” Egan brushed dirt from his jeans. “Yesterday or was it the day before? I can’t remember. Falcon said that you didn’t want to be found. We had looked everywhere, except for the hills around the cabin. I told him it was time for everyone to go back to work and I would search the hills. I got a fresh horse and picked up Patch and headed this way. Patch is tied to a tree at the bottom of the hill. When you’re ready, we can go.”
It was time. It was time to go back to a life without Dusty and Anamarie. He could do that now and still maintain his dignity and some sort of strength to face the future. He got to his feet. “I have to find my shirt and some string to tie back my hair.”
“You get the shirt and I’ll get the string.”
In less than five minutes they both were on Egan’s horse headed down the hill to Patch. Then they rode for home. They were far far away from the ranch. As night fell on the second day they could see the roof of Miss Kate’s house. They rode hard, but it was still late when they rode into the barn.
After taking care of the horses, Egan said, “Now I’m going home and hug my wife and kids.” He glanced at Rico. “Don’t worry about anyone bothering you. I’ll tell everyone to stay away until you’re ready.”
“Thanks.”
Rico stared out at the black night and the millions of stars that twinkled above. He hoped that Dusty was doing well and adjusting to his environment. Crickets entertained him with their constant chirping as he slowly made his way toward the bunkhouse to deal with the memories.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ANAMARIE GAVE UP trying to sleep and got up and made coffee. Rachel had called late last night and said that Egan had found Rico and had brought him home. She had lain in bed with her cell in her hand, hoping he would call. He didn’t.
Mickey whined at her feet and she made him a bowl of biscuits, bacon and milk. He gobbled it up, wagging his tail.
“Happy now?” Mickey didn’t even take time to bark. He was too busy eating.
A knock at the door startled her. It was a little after five in the morning and she wasn’t expecting anyone. Unless... She hurried to the door and peeked through the glass on the door. It was Rico.
She opened the door uncaring that she was in her old T-shirt. “Rico...are you okay?”
He held his hat in his hand and his face, neck and hands were sunburned. Her heart sank at the set stern expression on his face. The scar stood out against his red skin.
“I’m fine,” he replied in a stiff voice she’d never heard before and she knew he hadn’t come to say he was sorry and that he still loved her. She clutched the door for support as her last hope died.
“Sorry to bother you so early, but Egan said you had Mickey. I came to get him before I go to work.”
At the sound of his name Mickey trotted to the door and circled Rico, sniffing at his boots. Then he trotted to Anamarie and sat on his haunches staring at Rico. He b
arked at Rico several times.
“He does that a lot. I think he’s asking about Dusty,” Ana said.
“Yeah.” Rico said the word almost to himself as he appeared deep in thought. “Listen, about the other day... I don’t remember what I said, but I know it was hurtful and that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
“Yes, it was hurtful.” She took a deep breath. “To me, our relationship was not based on Dusty.”
“I don’t have time to get into that.”
“Well, I do and we’re going to talk about it.” She wasn’t going to let him get away by saying their relationship was over. “If you remember correctly, I did not get involved with Dusty when he came into the bakery that morning. You did, but I held back. I only got involved when you asked me to. I saw it as a way to get closer to you. That’s the only reason I helped you. For two years I’ve been searching for a way to take our relationship further and Dusty gave me the chance. Of course, I fell in love with him and...”
“I’m not talking about this.”
“Why not?” she pressed. “I don’t regret the time I spent with you and Dusty. He was our little boy and I couldn’t have loved him more even if I’d given birth to him. I hope he remembers the lady who loved him with all her heart and who cooks good, as he used to say. I...” She had to take a breath as emotions jammed her throat. “But after all the tears and the sadness, I realized one thing. Dusty wasn’t ours to keep. He had a mother.”
Rico remained silent, staring at Mickey.
“You said our relationship was based on Dusty. It wasn’t. Dusty wasn’t there on all those Tuesday mornings when we laughed, talked, shared our lives and fell in love. That was us. Just us and our feelings.”