by Linda Warren
“You could have called anyone in my family and they would have gotten in touch with me. You didn’t try very hard, Rico, and this is an important decision we should have made together.”
“Ana, I didn’t have time.”
“You knew about Dusty the last time I talked to you and yet, you said nothing.”
“I didn’t want to worry you with everything that was going on with your mother, and I didn’t know what I would find in Austin. I was just trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need you to protect or mollycoddle me. I’m a strong woman and what I need is a man who trusts that I can handle life, a man who allows me a voice in our relationship, a man who doesn’t shut me out and a man who considers my feeling, my wishes.”
“Ana, please...”
“Is Darlene still alive?” She ignored the plea in his voice.
“Yes, but Gabe and Wyatt feel we have a strong case.”
“You talked to Wyatt, too?”
“Y-yes.”
“You talked to everyone but me.”
“Ana...”
“Did it even cross you mind that Darlene will recover and she’s going to want her son back?”
“Wyatt said...”
“I don’t care what Wyatt said. Darlene is good at working the system. She will hire the same lawyer who got her out of prison and a judge will listen because she’s a mother and she has rights. They will jerk Dusty out of our arms once again.” As the words left her mouth, she wanted to reach into the truck and grab Dusty, kiss him and feel his little body in her arms and listen to his childish giggles, but she couldn’t let that weakness sway her. “Do you remember the pain, Rico? You were gone for days and I didn’t know where you were or if you were okay. You shut me completely out of your life.”
“It’s different now. Together we can do this.”
That niggling fear inside her wouldn’t let go and then it hit her. Her freezing hands curled into fists and she jammed them into the pockets of her jacket. She drew cold air into her lungs to cool her heated thoughts. “You once told me our relationship was all about Dusty. I guess you were right...about you, but not for me. I really love you, but I can’t put myself through that pain again. I barely survived the first time.”
“Ana, no!”
She ran to her back door, tears streaming down her face. As she yanked open the door, Mickey shot out and darted to Rico, barking. She hit the button for the garage door and it buzzed down, shutting out the night, shutting out her entire world and everyone who mattered to her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RICO DROVE HOME SPENT. The talk with Ana had robbed him of his last bit of energy and he blocked out everything, especially her words.
He carried Dusty into the bunkhouse and put him to bed, making sure he was covered and warm. Mickey’s barking had woken him briefly, but he was exhausted and out for the night.
Rico collapsed into his recliner and his thoughts played hopscotch, jumping from one wrong to another, but one thing was very clear. He’d screwed up so bad Ana wasn’t ever going to forgive him or love him again. He’d hurt her. He winced at the knowledge. How could he have gotten this so wrong? And what did he do now?
He saw the McGregor papers lying on the coffee table. They meant nothing without her. He reached back and flipped off the light, submerging himself in darkness, and drifted off to a place where only pain lived. A place he was very familiar with.
He awoke at five to searing pain in his heart. If Miss Doris hadn’t had the heart attack, he and Ana would’ve been together and they would’ve made the decision about Dusty together. The way it should have been. But now he had to fight for Dusty alone and be prepared to handle the outcome. Without Ana. That created a pain so deep in his chest that he had trouble breathing.
Dusty awoke at six and wanted his boots. Rico put them on him and he ran around the bunkhouse with Mickey chasing after him. The trauma of the night before seemed a lifetime away. While Dusty played, Rico called Miss Kate and told her what had happened. He couldn’t talk about Ana and the walls he’d happily destroyed were taking root once again. He could feel them.
Rico gave Dusty a good bath and cleaned his fingernails and toenails. He had no clothes to put on him so he dressed him in the same clothes. Later, he drove to Temple to buy the boy some clothes and to get his hair cut. First, he had something he needed to do.
Miss Doris was sitting up in bed with a breakfast tray in front of her. “Oh, Rico, I’m so glad you’re here.” She glanced at Dusty on his shoulder. “You have the boy.”
“Yes, ma’am.” And he told her a little bit about last night.
Miss Doris looked around him. “Where’s Anamarie?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Okay.”
Rico was surprised she was so amenable. He felt sure she had a dozen or more questions, but he wasn’t discussing Ana.
“Thank you, Rico, for what you did yesterday.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” was all he could say.
“I’ve been an old fool, judgmental and stupid. I’m so sorry for the way I’ve treated you. You’re everything Anamarie said you were—a wonderful man.”
Rico left soon after. He couldn’t stay and listen to all the praise. He wasn’t a wonderful man. After shopping at Walmart, which was the only place open, they went home. Dusty was clingy and Rico knew he had to talk to the boy.
Dusty sat in his lap, his head on Rico’s chest. “Tell me what happened.”
Dusty lifted his head and twisted his fingers like he always did when he was nervous or excited. “My mommy’s still sick.”
“I know, buddy.”
Dusty knew his mother was on drugs. That was so awful for a little boy. His and Dusty’s stories were much alike and maybe that’s why they’d connected so strongly.
“I not go back.” Dusty shook his hand. “I stay here with you and Ana.”
He’d told Dusty that Ana’s mother was in the hospital and she needed to be there with her. He couldn’t tell him Ana wasn’t coming back. He could barely think it in his head. But soon he would have to face that possibility.
* * *
RICO SPENT THE afternoon on the phone with Gabe and Wyatt going over details so he would have a strong case and a good chance of getting custody. Then he called the principal to see if he could get Dusty back into school while he was here. There was no problem. The principal put Dusty in Remi’s kindergarten class so he would feel comfortable.
Dusty was excited to go back to school. He left him safely in Remi’s hands and headed back to Temple.
He had a lot to do today and seeing Robert Francis McGregor was at the top of the list. He was early, but the office was open. The lawyer was packing, putting books and things in boxes.
They shook hands and Rico took a seat.
“I’ve said thank you so much that it seems rather lame for this kind of gift.”
“It’s enough, Mr. Johnson.” The lawyer pulled some papers forward. “I’m doing a transfer of title for tax reasons.”
“Sounds good to me, but I wanted you to know that in about two hours I’m meeting Miss Kate Rebel at the courthouse and I’m changing my name to Rebel.”
“I’ll update the papers, but it won’t be finalized until March first when I receive the hundred thousand.”
“You’ll have it before then.”
“I have no doubt.”
The lawyer handed Rico some keys and then held out his hand. “I’ll notify you when the truck comes to pick up the items my parents want.”
“Sure. I’ll be there to make sure everything is loaded.”
“I’m glad you came in early because I wanted to let you know that I’m closing the office for good on Wednesday because of the Thanksgiving holiday. From now on our transactions will be through my Dall
as office.” He handed him a business card. “All the information is there if you need to ask a question. Thank you for being so kind to my grandfather. He looked forward to those mornings you spent with him and there wasn’t much in this world he looked forward to anymore.”
They talked a few minutes more and Rico left. Outside in the truck he took a moment. It was Thanksgiving week. With everything that was going on he’d forgotten. He’d been looking forward to the holidays with Ana. Their first holiday and now he would spend it alone.
* * *
HE MADE IT back to Horseshoe in time to meet Miss Kate at the courthouse. When Miss Kate’s truck drove in, Rico got out and paused as seven more trucks followed. All the brothers had come for the name change. His connection to the Rebels was rock solid and they were all he had in this time of angst.
Gabe met them inside the courthouse and handed a clerk some papers for a name change. It was simple and in a matter of minutes Rico became Jericho Johnson Rebel.
There were handshakes and hugs all around as they made their way out of the courthouse. Quincy and Rico stood beside Grandpa as he made his way down the steps.
Everyone left to go back to work, but Gabe stayed behind and soon Wyatt walked up. Once Wyatt was there, Gabe said, “I have some bad news. Connie Grimes has filed for custody of Dusty. Wyatt pulled some strings and Judge Carvel worked it into his schedule on Wednesday before the holiday break. It’s at one o’clock.”
“What?” Rico was numb, but not surprised. Ana was right. They were going to jerk Dusty around some more and Rico would be left to deal with the pain.
“She has a good job and so does her husband. They live in a good neighborhood in Austin. This is a problem as the judge always wants to place a child with family.”
“I got this.” Wyatt spoke up. “Don’t worry about it.”
What could Wyatt do now that he couldn’t do before?
* * *
ANA WENT THROUGH the motions of everyday life, not allowing herself to think of what she was losing. She wasn’t his maid or his housekeeper. She wanted to be his lover, his wife, his life partner. She needed to know that she counted.
On Sunday she cried most of the day with Dusty’s drawing clutched to her chest, getting caught up in all the emotions that plagued her. That afternoon she got herself together enough to go see her mother. Her eyes were red and blotchy and she knew her mother was going to ask questions. But it didn’t keep her from going.
As soon as Anamarie walked into the room, her mother asked, “What’s wrong?”
Luckily her mother was alone. Frank and Teresa had spent the morning with her and she was exhausted from all the company. Her father had gone home to take a nap.
“Anamarie?”
“What?” Ana brought her thoughts back to her mother, and to keep her from asking more questions she added, “Patsy said the doctor gave you a good report and you might go home tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” Her mother was sitting in a comfy chair with pillows propped behind her back. “I don’t know, Anamarie.” Her mother picked at the blanket over her lap. “I’m getting older and I’m thinking of turning over the bakery to Bubba and Margie. You were right, she’s good at making kolaches. And I can spend more time with your dad.”
Anamarie’s mouth fell open and she quickly closed it. “Mom, did you hit your head when you fell?”
“Why?” Her mother glanced up. “You think I’m talking out of my head?”
“Well, it’s not like you to be so docile.”
“When you have a close call with death, it changes everything and now I can see how relentless and unyielding I’ve been. I want to cherish my children and to be a part of their lives. Teresa and Frank want us to come visit and I think Willard and I will do that. I want to see more of my grandchildren.”
Anamarie sat on the bed, completely flabbergasted by her mother’s change of attitude.
“Now, tell me why you’ve been crying.”
Anamarie bit her lips and decided to be completely honest and tell her mother what had happened.
“I knew something was wrong when Rico came with the little boy.”
“He came and had Dusty with him?”
“Yes, but he was half asleep on Rico’s shoulder. From what Rico said, he’d been through a rough night.”
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it, she kept repeating in her head. She had to be strong.
“I know how you’re feeling,” her mother said, and that was an odd thing for her to say because her mother never knew what Anamarie was feeling. “When I married your father, he was a momma’s boy. He thought his mother was God and I always came second. It took me a lot of years to realize he loved us in different ways.”
“This is not the same, Mom.”
“I don’t think that’s true. You don’t feel loved and I didn’t, either. Rico’s the type of man who has this need to help people. That’s why he helped Egan and that’s why he went into that school to help those kids. He’s the type of man who never thinks of himself. You told me over and over what a wonderful man he is and now you have to ask yourself is that true or not.”
Ana slid from the bed. “I have to go.”
“Think about what I said. You love Rico. Are you willing to lose him over this?”
She couldn’t shake her mother’s words. They kept running through her head. She went to sleep that night with the question pounding in her head. Was she willing to lose Rico?
* * *
RICO TRIED TO get through each day as best he could for Dusty’s sake, but he kept thinking about Dusty’s aunt. Could she be a good mother? He wasn’t going to set himself up again to get knocked down. If the court was leaning toward Connie, he had to know if she would treat Dusty as her own. On Tuesday, he went to see Wyatt, but he was out. Rico had to pick up Dusty so it had to wait until tomorrow and Wednesday was the hearing. Time was running out. Rico had to make a decision.
Early Wednesday morning Rico caught Wyatt in his office. Taking a seat in the wood chair he’d used a lot lately, he said, “I’d like to talk about Connie Grimes.”
Wyatt frowned. “Connie Grimes? Rico, there’s no way she’s going to get Dusty.”
“You can’t say that for sure and I need to know something about her.”
“Rico...”
“Tell me all you know.”
Wyatt sighed. “She’s a shopaholic and likes expensive things. She owes money everywhere and Wendy spent most of her life paying Connie’s bills. The husband owns a bar and works nights. Does that sound like they’d make good parents?”
“No, but...”
Wyatt frowned. “What’s this about? You’re giving up too easy and that’s not you.”
Rico had no choice but to tell him what happened. “I screwed up, Wyatt. I screwed up real bad.”
“So, every man screws up. Didn’t you know that?” Wyatt pointed toward Anamarie’s shop. “Go over there and talk to her. Talk this out. This is the most important thing you’ll ever do in your life. I know you, Rico. You cannot give up on that little boy.”
“I don’t want to, Wyatt, but I don’t want to get my heart crushed again, either. And I have to think about Anamarie.”
“Go,” was all Wyatt had to say.
Rico walked across the courthouse lawn to Ana’s shop. He could see her inside moving around in the kitchen. What they said now would determine their future. And Dusty’s. Their decision had to be a mutual agreement between two people who loved each other. And this time he wasn’t going to get it wrong. He just hoped she listened.
* * *
ANAMARIE GOT A call for a wedding cake and she decided to make it weddingly. She smiled for the first time in days. Then she looked up and saw Rico standing in her doorway. He was here!
She took a deep breath and walked to the front area. “What is it, Rico?” She tried t
o keep her voice calm while inside butterflies swarmed her stomach.
With his hat in his hand, he asked, “Could we talk?”
“Sure.” She braced herself for what was to come, but didn’t know how much longer she could resist him. His strong, honed features were sharp and pronounced and pain was vivid in his dark eyes. Her heart ached for the pain he was going through. Pain she’d inflicted on him because of her insecurities.
“Connie Grimes has filed for custody of Dusty.”
“What?”
“She and her husband want to raise him. She’s Dusty’s aunt and a judge will look at that. I was thinking about withdrawing from the custody hearing and allow Dusty’s aunt to raise him.”
“Why would you do that?” She couldn’t believe her ears.
He twisted his hat in his hands and then he looked up, those gorgeous dark eyes gazing right into hers as if he could see right into her soul. “I can survive losing Dusty, but I can’t survive losing you.”
“Oh...” Her trembling hand touched her mouth and she wanted to say so many things, but emotions congealed in her throat.
“I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to get in touch with you, but I couldn’t leave Dusty in the hell he was in. He asked for me and I couldn’t ignore that.”
“And you shouldn’t have. Dusty needed you and he still does. My problem is not with Dusty. I love him as much as you do. My problem was that you made me feel like a surrogate mother. I just wanted to know I counted in your life as more than a mother for Dusty.”
He looked down at his hat and then back at her. “I’ve loved you since the first moment I met you. Do you remember where that was?”
She swallowed hard. “At...at the bakery.”
“I came in to buy kolaches for Egan’s dog, and your mother and that other lady wouldn’t wait on me. They ignored me. Then you came over and asked, with a smile as big as Texas, ‘May I help you?’ Do you know what words ran through my mind when you asked that?”