‘Aye, anticipation of the forthcoming night in which her cave stretches to swollen meat,’ muttered Garelko, though he smiled. ‘The Lord of Cuckolding has taken her hand, so sweetly to match the pup’s incorrigible youth, too smug for any other man to stomach—’
‘No, you doddering fool,’ Ravast retorted. ‘Think on it! She journeys in search of us! Into that hoary realm of spiders and webs, the cold sand upon which serpents lie curled in slumber as they await the night. The cramped confines, Garelko, of the rock-pile!’
As Garelko paused to scratch his jaw, Tathenal joined him and peered curiously at Ravast. ‘Garelko, you old goat, listen to the boy. He may have a point. In all misapprehension, our widow now rushes to her fierce battle with death itself! Not, alas, with amused mien, but with terrible purpose! She wishes us back!’
‘Then it behoves us,’ Garelko said in a musing tone, ‘to reach her before she takes that fatal step.’
‘The chasm crossed,’ Tathenal added with a nod. ‘The river forded, the pit leapt into, the veil parted, the chalice sipped, the—’
‘Oh, enough, Tathenal!’ Ravast snapped, turning from them both, and then wheeling back round. ‘Your slow wit will ever stumble in the dust of my wake, and that goes for you too, Garelko. No, the time has come for me to take to the fore, to ascend to predominance. It was,’ he added, ‘long in coming.’
He watched as the two older men exchanged a glance, and then Garelko smiled at Ravast. ‘Why, of course, by all means to the fore, young wolf. Do lead us doddering discards. We shall grip hard the gilded hem of your trailing genius, and consider ourselves blessed.’
Tathenal cleared his throat. ‘I see the way ahead, bold Ravast, a descent from these mountains. Be assured we shall follow your hasty plunge, and leave to you that first leap into her delighted embrace, and should Hanako’s smooth expression darken, why, we are reunited with our weapons, are we not? We shall lay out his cold body in a pool of hot blood! Hoary as Thelomen we shall cleave in half his skull to make the greenest cup for her bedside!’
Sighing, Ravast turned away. ‘Follow then, and never doubt for a moment: this throne has a new master.’
‘But I’ve yet to make toilet!’ cried Garelko in sudden dismay.
Ravast scowled. ‘Best make it a deferential one, old goat. Then catch us up in the instant past the shudder.’
Tathenal hissed in sympathy. ‘Oh, how I hate that shudder.’
Setting out, Ravast led the way, skirting the lake, and it was not long before Garelko caught up. The trail angled away from the shoreline and began its wending descent. The verdant canopy below was dark, yet lit gold here and there when the sunlight broke through the gathering clouds.
A storm was coming, blighting the day, and this lent zeal to their haste. Revelling in his youth, Ravast smiled at hearing the panting breaths of the two men behind him. While Garelko could set a matching pace for the morning, at last the creaky ancient was failing. This was a worthy pace, proof that this day had seen the world change, utterly and irrevocably. The chest could swell to such largesse, and he counselled upon himself a few moments of sober introspection. Myriad were the responsibilities of leading the pack, and it would be well to exercise some humility in his newfound power.
But there was too much pleasure, for now, to contemplate tendering mercy unto his older comrades, with their wobbly legs and watery eyes. He quickened his pace.
‘The tyrant unleashed!’ gasped Garelko somewhere behind him.
‘A storm draws upon us,’ Ravast called out over a shoulder. ‘The air is edged. Know you well this stillness. We must soon find shelter—’
‘Rain!’ shouted Tathenal. ‘Rain and flood! Rain and flood and mudslides! Rain and flood and mudslides and—’
‘Cease wailing!’ Ravast hissed. ‘Your caterwaul is a summons to the Lady of Thunder!’
‘I but remind her of our mortal selves, pup!’
‘I am pup no longer!’
‘Hear him snarl,’ Garelko said. ‘Woof woof!’
Ravast spun round. Seeing their open grins, fury filled him with sudden, searing realization. ‘You but mocked me!’
‘You’re all tuft and paws,’ Garelko said with a sneer. ‘Thought to knock the pair of us, did you? But who will guard you in the night? Perch there indeed, upon that lonely throne! I see your eyes shot through, hands trembling, limbs leaping, starting at every shadow!’
‘He ages before us,’ Tathenal added. ‘Beneath the burden of universal spite and, before long, disdain. Palpitating shell of a man, once young, once so bold! Wisdom cannot be wrested, pup!’
Ravast made fists and raised them threateningly. ‘Shall I break you both in half? Did I not defend the entire village against a Thelomen raiding party?’
‘Oh dear,’ laughed Garelko. ‘Not that again!’
Shaking his head, Tathenal said, ‘He’ll crawl to us soon enough, belly to the dust, a whimper and curled tail—’
Ravast turned on him. ‘You but await your ascent, Tathenal? Is that how it is? What have you promised Garelko here? A new mattress? What vows have you two exchanged, to keep me under your heels?’
‘It will be a fine mattress,’ Garelko said, and Tathenal nodded.
‘Now, pup,’ Garelko continued, ‘I see a clearing below and to the right, if my useless eyes are not so useless, and is that not a glimpse of slated roof, pitched just so? A beckoning abode, a serendipitous shelter, but perhaps already occupied? Must we roust some hapless denizen? Three Thel Akai need plenty of room, after all.’
‘This mockery will not be forgotten,’ Ravast promised. ‘But still, out with the weapons, in case indeed we need to shoo away some other. Garelko, take up that oafish mace and lead us on, as befits your claim of continued rule.’
Teeth bared, Garelko unslung the weapon and edged past Ravast. ‘Ah, pup, take note and see how it’s done.’
‘Just don’t bash down the door,’ Tathenal advised.
Garelko frowned. ‘Why not?’
‘We must keep out the weather, of course. This is the purpose of doors and walls and so on.’
The eldest husband paused. ‘You have a point. Suggestions?’
‘You could knock,’ said Tathenal.
‘Knuckles to wood, aye, sound notion.’ He shouldered his mace and glanced at Ravast. ‘See, pup? A wise leader must learn the art of assuaging his underlings. Of course, such recourse had already occurred to me, being eldest and so on. Yet I remained silent, to give Tathenal leave to feel clever. This is the art of command.’
Tathenal stepped close to Garelko and grabbed the man’s left ear. ‘This is big – does it come off?’
‘Aaii! That hurts!’
Releasing him, Tathenal gave Garelko a hard push. ‘Get on with you, goat. I already hear the wind riding the treetops.’
Grumbling, Garelko set off down the trail. After a moment, Ravast and Tathenal followed.
There was a flavour, to be sure, that came with such a longstanding companionship, and although Ravast was the youngest and newest to the cause – that cause being the mutual loyalty necessary to survive marriage to Lasa Rook – he had little choice in acknowledging its value. This, of course, did not obviate the pleasures of one-upmanship. For the moment he had been bested, but in the very next instant Garelko had failed in pressing his newfound alliance with Tathenal, and this was pleasing.
He crept, now, alongside Tathenal, in the wake of bold Garelko. Bold? The codger has never been bold in his overlong life! No, he is shamed to the fore, by none other than me! This is something to savour indeed, petty as it is! Oh, Lasa, do return with us and yield a lifetime of the inconsequential, I beg you!
They reached the edge of the small clearing in time to see Garelko arrive at the door. Using the butt of his mace he hammered on the frame, as even a light tap from the Thel Akai was likely to punch a hole through the door’s flimsy planks. After a moment, Garelko turned. ‘No one home—’
The door swung open and stepping into the gap was
a Jaghut.
Rare was the Jaghut face that betrayed emotion, much less frustration, and yet even in the gathering gloom this man made his frustration woefully evident. ‘Why,’ he said in a half-snarl, ‘a lone cabin in the deep forest, high upon a wild mountain, well off the trail – now in there lives a denizen inviting company! Worse yet, more Thel Akai! A night in which I anticipated sober study now lies in ruin, as I must weather the grunts, sighs and farts of three oversized guests, not to mention their likely appetites!’ Then he stepped back and swept an arm in invitation. ‘But do come in, you and your two huddled shadows in the thicket beyond. Welcome to the last refuge of Raest, and heed well in your manners the misery your arrival brings.’
Garelko glanced back and waved Ravast and Tathenal forward. He then sheathed his mace once more, ducked, and made his way into the cabin.
Tathenal made a faint snickering sound and Ravast jabbed the man in the ribs. ‘None of that!’ he hissed.
‘Jaghut!’ muttered Tathenal, still grinning. ‘We shall pluck his strings the whole night, and leave such discord as to confound the man for years to come!’ He clutched at Ravast’s arm and pulled him close. ‘This is just what we require!’ he whispered. ‘A sorry victim upon whom to gang up, and so further consolidate our solidarity! Pity this fool, Ravast, pity him!’
‘I have pity for everyone in your company, Tathenal. Indeed, upon this journey I have cried myself to sleep every night.’
They continued on, reaching the doorway and then jostling a moment before Ravast stepped back to give his fellow husband leave to enter first.
The low rafters forced them all to the solid but narrow chairs Raest now pulled up around a modest table upon which the leavings of a meal still remained. The air was slightly sour with woodsmoke as the chimney was not drawing well, and there was the faint tang of something acrid, reminding Ravast of snake piss.
‘A sup or two remains in the cauldron,’ Raest said wearily. ‘Sit, lest you bring down the roof and worse with your solid skulls wagging this way and that.’
‘Kind sir,’ Garelko said with a nod as he eased himself down in the chair. ‘Ah, a perch for a single ham, better than none!’
‘A body part that grows larger in the telling,’ Raest said, moving over to a softer chair set up near the hearth. ‘Come the night you three will have to cosy up here on the floor. It’s dirt but at least it’s dry.’
Tathenal rummaged in his pack, pulling out three tin bowls, and then, bent over, made his way to the cauldron, nodding to Raest as he drew near. ‘Most generous, Raest of the Jaghut. The foulness of the weather and all that.’
His host did little more than grunt, reaching for a steaming tankard on the flagstone at his side.
‘Do forgive us,’ Tathenal continued as he ladled stew into the cups, ‘for ruining your sober study. Still, I have heard you Jaghut are known to indulge in such things, perhaps, to excess? Consider this night, then, a moment of relief in your otherwise unleavened existence.’
‘Relief? Oh yes, come the dawn and my seeing the last of you.’
Smiling, Tathenal collected up the three bowls and crabbed his way over to the table.
Ravast, already seated beside Garelko, spoke. ‘Good Raest, we thank you for this. Hear that wind’s howl – how it builds to rank fury. Mountain storms are the worst, are they not? Mmm, this stew smells wonderful, and this meat … what alpine ruminant fell to your snare or arrow, might I ask?’
‘There is a lizard that lives in the scree, venomous and ill spirited. Some can grow as long as you are tall. Indeed, they have been known to eat goats, sheep and Jaghut children we don’t like.’
Ravast paused with his spoon hovering over the bowl. ‘This is a venomous lizard?’
‘No of course not. You’re eating mutton, you fool.’
‘Ah, then, about that lizard?’
‘Oh, only that I found one has made a home of my cottage. It now regards us from the rafters, directly above you, in fact.’
Ravast slowly looked up, to see cold, glittering, unblinking eyes fixed upon him.
‘Hence my warning about you three taking your seats as quickly as possible,’ Raest added. ‘Such are the responsibilities of a host, trying as they might be.’
‘I never much liked mutton,’ confessed Garelko as he slurped.
‘Which is insane,’ snapped Tathenal, ‘since we are sheep herders.’
‘Yes, well, that’s just it, isn’t it? Two belly-bulging meals a day for how many decades? Each one knobby with mutton. That said, this meat here’s gamey, suggesting a wild sheep rather than our gentled breeds of the north. Thus, both overly sweet and roiling pungent. My bowels shall be busy tonight.’
At the groans of both Ravast and Tathenal, Raest cursed under his breath and took another mouthful of his mulled wine.
‘I remain curious, Raest,’ Tathenal said after a moment or two, ‘about this sober study of yours. Have you Jaghut not surrendered the future? What more remains to be contemplated?’
‘Why, the past, of course. Of the present, best we say nothing.’
‘But, kind sir, the past is dead.’
‘That’s rich, from you fools so eager to hasten through Hood’s gate.’
Ravast interjected, ‘Oh, sir, we do nothing of the sort! Indeed, we pursue our wife, with the very aim of bringing her back home before she strides through that sordid portal!’
‘The pathetic moan of disappointing husbands the world over, no doubt. And is your wife buxom, sensuous in an indolent if slightly randy way? Golden-locked, blossom-cheeked, full-lipped and inclined to snoring?’
‘Yes! All those things!’
‘In the company of a Thel Akai brave, big enough to break you all into pieces? A true warrior of a man, wearing nothing but rags and yet freshly scarred and scabbed from head to toe?’
Garelko choked on his stew. Ravast realized that his jaw now hung, leaving his mouth gaping. He managed a dry swallow and then looked to both Garelko and Tathenal. ‘Did you hear that? She’s had her way with him! Torn his clothes to shreds! Clawed and bitten and scratched in her lustful frenzy! She’s never done all that to any of us, damn her!’
‘We are undone,’ groaned Tathenal, lowering his head into his hands. ‘Cuckolded, cast aside, flung away, dismissed! No match to young Hanako, Thief of Love! Hanako the Ravished, the Pawed and Clawed, the Smarting yet Smug!’
Raest observed them all, now sipping gently from his tankard. ‘And the other one, dragon-fevered. Met them a few nights past, on my way here. We shared a fire. For this reason and only this reason, I do return the favour.’
It was a moment before Ravast frowned. ‘Dragon-fevered? Is this some new southern plague, then?’
‘Oh, a plague to come, I’m sure. He’ll live or he won’t. Mayhap you’ll find a cairn beside the trail below. Or not. Or, just as likely, the stiff corpse of this Hanako, his throat lustfully gnawed right down to the vertebrae. All skin rent from his flesh, and a smile upon his ashen face.’
‘You shatter our resolve,’ moaned Garelko, pulling at what remained of his hair. ‘Husbands? Should we perhaps consider returning home? Leaving her to … to him? I admit, I am defeated. Left behind, indeed. She’s used us up, worn us out, and now blithely moves on – even you, Ravast, young as you are, not warrior enough for Lasa Rook! Aaii! We have lost the battleground between our wife’s ample legs!’
Ravast found that he was trembling. Outside, the rain had begun, lashing down amidst trees that thrashed in the gale. Lightning flickered through cracks and joins; thunder followed. ‘No, Garelko. We shall confront her! We shall bear witness to her face, to her confession, to that cruel triumphant glint in her eye.’
‘A knife in my heart would be kinder!’
‘A flood—’
‘Enough about the flooding, Tathenal!’ snapped Ravast. He thumped the tabletop, rattling the bowls. ‘She would stride merrily into the realm of the rock-piles? Fine then, and three boots to her plush backside to send her on her way!�
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‘Ladies of Fury,’ sighed Garelko, ‘her plush backside!’
‘This is all rather pathetic,’ Raest said from his chair. ‘But highly entertaining.’
At that moment thunder hammered the ground, so close as to seem to have come from just outside the cabin’s door. Everything shook and with an alarmed hiss the venomous lizard fell from the rafters and landed heavily on the tabletop, where it writhed briefly before righting itself and glaring about, head snapping from one side to the other.
Garelko’s hand shot out, grasping the creature by the snout. He stood and lifted the lizard, walking over to the door. ‘Duck for this damned thing? Not likely.’ Opening the door he flung the lizard out into the night. And then paused, staring out into the gloom.
‘Close that door, please,’ Raest said. ‘You’re scattering the embers here and these boots are almost new. Well, before they got soaked through.’
Garelko eased the door shut with a curiously gentle motion, and then, hunched over, made his way back to his chair. ‘Alas, Raest,’ he said, sighing as he sat. ‘It seems you have another guest.’
‘Is the lizard preparing to insist? No? Then who? I heard no knock.’
‘Good thing, too,’ Garelko said. ‘Sir, there is a dragon in your yard.’
Raest set his tankard down. ‘Only the wicked know peace.’ With a grunt he arose, gathering up a dusty, stained leather cloak that hung on a peg to one side of the door. That it had been hanging there for a long time was evinced by the stretched nipple that remained when he shrugged it on, riding his left shoulder. Tathenal turned away, hand covering the lower half of his face as he fought against an unseemly guffaw.
Garelko dared but a single glance at his fellow husband, lest he too burst loose in unholy mirth. Instead, he pushed his chair back and half stood. ‘Good sir, I will accompany you. Accosting a dragon seems perhaps dangerous. See how I am armoured and armed—’
Ravast added, ‘Do join dear Raest, then. We’ve seen off one dragon already, although that was mostly me and my axe in its foot. I leave this one to you, old goat. Tathenal is welcome to the next one.’ He reached for Garelko’s unwanted bowl of unwelcome mutton stew.
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