Van Brunt said, “You going to try a run for it? You’ll get stuck.”
Juan’s lips moved silently. “My dear little friend, if you only knew,” he whispered. “If all of the rest of you only knew.” He put the bus in first gear and ran at the hole. The water splashed away with a rushing hiss. The rear wheels went into the hole. The bus slipped and floundered. The rear wheels spun and the motor roared and the spinning wheels edged the bumbling body slowly across and slithered it out on the other side. Juan slipped the gears to second and crawled on.
“Must have been a little gravel mixed in with that,” he said over his shoulder to Van Brunt.
“Well, you wait till you start up the hill,” Van Brunt said ominously.
“You know, for a man that wants to get through you put more things in the way,” Juan said.
The road began to climb and the water did not stand any more. The ditches along the side were running full. The driving wheels of the bus slipped and churned in the ruts. Juan suddenly knew what he was going to do if the bus piled up. He hadn’t known. He had thought he might go to Los Angeles and get a job driving a truck, but he wouldn’t do that. He had fifty dollars in his pocket. He always carried that much for repair emergencies, and that would be enough too. He would walk away, but not far. He’d get under cover and wait until the rain stopped. He might even sleep some place. For food he would grab one of those pies. Then, when he was rested, he would walk over to the highway, bum a ride, just wait at a service station until someone picked him up. He would thumb his way to San Diego and then he’d go across the border to Tijuana.4 It would be nice there, and he might just lie on the beach for two or three days. The border wouldn’t bother him. On this side he’d say he was American. On the other side he’d be Mexican. Then, when he was ready, he’d go out of town, maybe catch a ride or maybe just walk over the hills and by the little streams, perhaps as far as Santo Tomás, and there he’d wait for the mail carrier. He would buy a lot of wine in Santo Tomás, and he’d pay the mail carrier, and then down the peninsula he would go, through San Quintin, past Ballenas Bay. It might take two weeks through the rocks and the prickly desert and then across to La Paz. He would see that he had some money left. At La Paz he would catch a boat across the gulf to Guaymas or Mazatlán, maybe even to Acapulco,5 and in any of those places he would find tourists. More at Acapulco than at Guaymas or Mazatlán. And where there were tourists floundering around with the Spanish language in a strange country Juan would be all right. Gradually he’d work his way up to Mexico City and there were really tourists. He could conduct tours, and there were plenty of ways of getting money. He wouldn’t need much.
He chuckled to himself. Why in God’s name had he stuck to this as long as he had? He was free. He could do whatever he wanted to. Let them look for him. He might even see a note about it in the L.A. papers. They’d think he was dead and they’d look for his body. Alice would raise hell for a while. It would give her a great sense of importance. Plenty of people could cook beans in Mexico. He might lay up with one of those American women in Mexico City who lived down there to beat the taxes. With a few good suits of clothes Juan knew he was presentable enough. Why in hell hadn’t he gone back before?
He could smell Mexico in his nose. He couldn’t think why he hadn’t done it before. And the passengers? Let them take care of themselves. They weren’t very far out. They’d got so used to throwing their troubles on other people they had forgotten how to take care of themselves. It would be good for them. Juan could take care of himself and he was going to start doing it too. He’d been living a silly kind of life, worrying about getting pies from one town to the next. Well, that was over.
He glanced up with secret eyes at the Guadalupana. “Oh, I’ll keep my word,” he said under his breath. “I’ll get them through if you want me to. But even then I’m not so sure I won’t walk away.”
His mind plunged with pictures of the sun-beaten hills of Lower California and the biting heat of Sonora, the chill morning air on the plateau of Mexico with the smell of pine knots in the huts and the popcorn smell of toasting tortillas. And a homesickness fell on him like a sweet excitement. The taste of fresh oranges and the bite of chili. What was he doing in this country anyway? He didn’t belong here.
The curtain of the years rolled back, and superimposed on the muddy country road he saw and heard and smelled Mexico, the chattering voices of the market, the squawking parrot in the garden, the quarreling pigs in the street, the flowers and fish and the little modest dark girls in blue rebozos.6 How strange that he had forgotten for so long. He yearned toward the south. He wondered what crazy trap could have kept him here. Suddenly he was impatient to be away. Why couldn’t he just slam on the brakes and open the door and walk away through the rain? He could see their stupid faces looking after him and hear their outraged comments.
He glanced again at the Virgin. “I’ll keep my word,” he whispered. “I’ll get through if I can.” He felt the wheels slip in the mud and he grinned at the Virgin of Guadalupe.
The river cut in close to the hills now, bringing its border of willows with it. And the road dodged sideways, away from it. The rain was thinning out, and from the road they could see the light yellow water whirling in the broad basin of the river and dragging lines of dirty foam in twisting streaks. Ahead the road climbed up the hill, and at the top there was a yellow cut, a kind of cliff, and the road ran in front of it. At the very top of the yellow cliff, in great faint letters, was the single word REPENT. It must have been a long and dangerous job for some wild creature to put it there with black paint, and it was nearly gone now.
In the cliff of sandstone there were erosion caves cut by the wind and dug out by animals. The caves looked like dark eyes peering out of the yellow cliff.
The fences were fairly strong here, and in the upland grass red cows stood dark and wet and some of them had already borne their spring calves. The red cows turned their heads slowly and watched the bus as it ground by, and one old fool of a cow became panic-stricken and ran away, kicking and bucking as though that would remove the bus.
The roadbed had changed. The gravel gave the bus better footing. The body bumped and jarred over the rain-rutted gravel, but the wheels did not slip. Juan looked suspiciously at the Virgin. Was she tricking him? Would she get him through and force him to make his own decision? That would be a dirty trick. With no sign from Heaven Juan didn’t know what he would do. The road took a long loop around an old farm and then climbed toward the cliff in earnest.
Juan had the bus in low gear again and a wisp of steam came out of the overflow pipe and curled up in front of the radiator. The high point of the road was right in front of the cliff with its dark caves. Almost angrily Juan speeded his motor. The wheels threw gravel. There was a place where the ditch was plugged and water and topsoil flowed across the road. Juan raced at the dark streak. The front wheels crossed it and the back wheels spun in the greasy mud. The rear end swung around and the wheels spun and the hind end of the bus settled heavily into the ditch.
Juan’s face had a fierce grin. He raced his motor and the wheels dug deeper and deeper. He reversed his direction and spun his wheels, and the spinning tires dug holes for themselves and settled into the holes, and the differential rested on the ground. Juan idled his motor. In the rear-view mirror he could see Pimples looking at him in amazement.
Juan had forgotten that Pimples would know. Pimples’ mouth was open. Juan knew better than that. When you come to a soft place you don’t spin the wheels. Juan could see the questions in Pimples’ eyes. Why had he done it? He wasn’t that stupid. He caught Pimples’ eye in the mirror and all he could think to do was to wink secretly. But he saw relief come over Pimples’ face. If it was a plan it was O.K. If there was something in back of it Pimples would go along. And then a horrible thought crossed Pimples’ mind. Suppose it was Camille. If Juan wanted her Pimples wouldn’t have a chance. He couldn’t compete with Juan.
The angle of the bus was s
harp. The rear wheels were buried and the front end stood high up on the road. “Sweetheart” looked like a crippled bug. Now Van Brunt’s face cut out Pimples’ reflection in the mirror. Van Brunt was red and angry and his bony finger cut the air under Juan’s nose.
“So you did it,” he cried. “So you tied us up. I knew you’d do it. By God, I knew you would! How am I going to get into the courthouse now? How are you going to get us out of this?”
Juan knocked the finger aside with the back of his hand. “Take your finger out of my face,” he said. “I’m sick of you. Now get back to your seat.”
Van Brunt’s angry eyes wavered. He suddenly realized that this man was out of control. He wasn’t afraid of the railroad commission or anybody. Van Brunt backed up a little and sat down on the angled seat.
Juan turned off the ignition and his motor died. The rain pattered on the roof of the bus. He tapped his palms on the steering wheel for a moment and then he turned in his seat and faced his passengers. “Well,” he said. “That does it.”
They stared back at him, shocked at the situation. Mr. Pritchard said softly, “Can’t you get us out?”
“I haven’t looked yet,” said Juan.
“But it seems to me like we’re in pretty deep. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” said Juan. He wanted to see Ernest Horton’s face, to see if he knew the thing had been deliberate, but Ernest was hidden behind Norma. Camille showed no effect at all. She had waited too long to be impatient.
“Sit tight,” Juan said. He pulled himself upright against the angled bus and pushed the door lever. The lock clicked but the door was sprung. It did not open. Juan stood up and put his foot against the door and pushed it open. They could hear the hiss of rain on the road and on the grass. Juan stepped out into the rain and walked around to the back of the bus. The slanting rain felt cold on his head.
He had done a good job. It would probably take a wrecking car or maybe even a tractor to get it out. He leaned down and looked underneath to verify something he already knew. The axles and the differential were resting on the ground. Through the windows the passengers were looking out, their faces distorted by the wet glass. Juan straightened up and climbed back into the bus.
“Well, folks, I guess you’ll just have to wait. I’m sorry, but don’t forget you all wanted to come this way.”
“I didn’t,” Van Brunt said.
Juan whirled on him. “God damn it, keep out of this! Don’t get me mad because I’m right on the point of getting mad.”
Van Brunt saw that he meant it. He looked down at his hands, pinched up the loose skin on his knuckles, and rubbed his left hand with his right.
Juan sat sideways in the driver’s seat. His eyes flicked over the Virgin. “All right, all right,” he thought to her, “so I cheated a little bit. Not much, but a little. I guess you’re justified now in making it pretty uncomfortable for me.” Aloud he said, “I’ll just have to walk on ahead and phone for a wrecking car. I’ll tell them to send out a taxi for you folks. That shouldn’t take very long.”
Van Brunt spoke with restraint. “There isn’t a place in four miles. The old Hawkins place is about a mile, but it’s standing empty since the Bank of America7 took it over. You’ll have to go to the county road and that’s a good four miles.”
“Well, if I have to go, I have to go,” said Juan. “I can only get just so wet.”
Pimples had a rush of friendliness. “I’ll go,” he said. “You stay here and let me go.”
“No,” said Juan, “this is your day off.” He laughed. “You just enjoy it, Kit.” He reached over to the instrument board, unlocked the glove box, and opened the little door. “There’s some emergency whisky here,” he said.
He paused. Should he take the pistol—a good Smith & Wesson 45-caliber revolver with a 6-inch barrel? It would be a shame to leave it. But it would be a nuisance to have it too. If he got into any kind of trouble the gun would go against him. He decided to leave it. If he was going to leave his wife, he could surely leave his gun too. He said lightly, “If you get jumped by tigers, there’s a gun in here.”
“I’m hungry,” Camille said.
Juan smiled at her. “You take these keys and open up the back. There’s a lot of pies there.” He grinned at Pimples. “Don’t eat ’em all, son. Now, you can stay in the bus or you can get out the tarpaulin from the back and put it on the ground up in those caves if you want. You might even build a fire in there if you can find any dry wood. I’ll get a car sent out to you soon as I can.”
“I’d like to go instead of you,” Pimples said.
“No, you stick around and look after things,” said Juan, and he saw a flash of pleasure on Pimples’ face. Juan buttoned his jacket tightly over his chest. “Just sit tight,” he said, and he stepped down out of the bus.
Pimples clambered down after him. He followed Juan a few steps until Juan turned and waited for him. “Mr. Chicoy,” he said softly, “what is it you got on your mind?”
“On my mind?”
“Yeah. You see—well, you spun them wheels.”
Juan put his hand on Pimples’ shoulder. “Look, Kit, I’ll tell you sometime. You just hold on for me, will you?”
“Well, sure, Mr. Chicoy, only—I’d just like to know.”
“I’ll tell you all about it when we get a minute alone,” Juan said. “You just keep these folks from killing each other for a little while, will you?”
“Well, sure,” Pimples said uneasily. “How long you think it’ll be before you get back?”
“I don’t know,” Juan said impatiently. “How can I tell? You do like I say.”
“Sure. Oh, sure,” said Pimples.
“And eat all the pie you want,” said Juan.
“But we’ll have to pay for it, Mr. Chicoy!”
“Sure,” said Juan, and he strode away along the road in the rain. He knew that Pimples was looking after him and he knew that Pimples sensed something. Pimples knew he was running out. Juan didn’t feel good about it now. Not the way he thought he would. It didn’t seem as good or as pleasant or as free. He stopped and looked back. Pimples was just getting into the bus.
The road went past the cliff with its eroded stone caves. Juan turned off the road and went into the shelter for a moment. The caves and their overhang were larger than they looked from outside and they were fairly dry too. In front of the entrance to the largest cave there were three fire-blackened stones and a battered tin can. Juan stepped back to the road and walked on.
The rain was thinning out. To his right, down the hill, he could see the great bend of the river and how it turned and headed back across the valley through the sodden green fields. The country was too wet. There was an odor of decay in the air, the fat green stems fermenting. The road ahead was rain-beaten and rotted by water, but not by wheels. Nothing had been over it for a long time.
Juan bowed his head into the rain and walked faster. It wasn’t so good. He tried to remember the sunny sharpness of Mexico and the little girls in blue rebozos and the smell of cooking beans, and instead Alice came into his head. Alice, looking out of the screen door. And he thought of the bedroom with its flowered curtains. She liked things nice. She liked pretty things. The bedspread, now, a giant afghan she had knitted herself in little squares, and no two the same color. She said she could get over a hundred dollars for it. And she had knitted every bit of it herself.
And he thought of the big trees, and how nice it was to lie in a tub full of hot water in the bathroom, the first real bathroom he had ever had outside of hotels. And there was always a bar of sweet-smelling soap. “It’s just a goddamned habit,” he said to himself. “It’s a damned trap. You get used to a thing and so you think you like it. I’ll get over it the way I’d get over a cold. Sure, it’ll be painful. I’ll worry about Alice. I’ll be sorry. I’ll accuse myself, and it might be I won’t sleep good. But I’ll get over it. After a while I won’t think about it. It’s just a damned trap.” And Pimple
s’ face, trusting and warm, came up before him. “I’ll tell you later. I’ll tell you all about it, Kit Carson.” Not many people had trusted Juan that way.
He tried to think of the lake at Chapala,8 and over its pale smooth water he saw “Sweetheart,” the bus, sagged down in the mud.
Ahead and down the hill to the left, in an indentation of the foothills, he saw a house and a barn and a windmill with the blades broken and hanging. That would be the old Hawkins place. Just the set-up he’d been thinking about. He would go in there, maybe in the house, but more likely in the barn. An old barn is usually cleaner than an old house. There was bound to be a little hay or straw in the barn. Juan would crawl in there and sleep. He wouldn’t think about anything. He would sleep until maybe this time tomorrow, and then he’d walk on to the county road and pick up a ride. What difference did it make to him about the passengers? “They can’t starve. It won’t hurt them at all. It’ll be good for them. It isn’t any business of mine.”
He hurried his steps down the hill toward the old Hawkins place. They’d look for him. Alice would think he was murdered and she’d call in a sheriff. Nobody ever thought he’d run off like this. That’s what made it such a good joke. Nobody thought he could do it. Well, he’d show them. Get to San Diego, cross the border, pick up the mail truck to La Paz. Alice would have the cops out.
He stopped and looked back at the road. His footprints were clear enough, but the rain would probably wash them out, and he could cover his tracks if he wanted to. He turned in off the road toward the Hawkins place.
The old house had gone to pieces very quickly once it was abandoned. A few wandering boys broke out the windows and stole the lead pipe and the plumbing, and the doors soon banged themselves silly and fell off their hinges. The old dark wallpaper, pulled down under wind-driven rain, revealed under-sheets made from old newspapers with old cartoons—“Foxy Grandpa” and “Little Nemo” and “Happy Hooligan” and “Buster Brown.”9 Tramps had been there and had left their litter and burned the door casings in the old black fireplace. The smell of desertion and damp and sourness was in the house. Juan looked in the doorway, walked through and smelled the odor of the vacant house, and went out the back door toward the barn.
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