by Charity B.
We hurry to obey and when he slams the door behind us, the walls vibrate.
“Our phones were turned down,” Tavin pipes up.
I just shake my head. The girl blinks her eyes like she’s having a damn seizure every time she lies. Logan back hands her hard.
Oh no, this is bad.
“Get downstairs, now.”
We nearly trip over each other trying to get down there. I feel like we’re fourteen again. His fury hasn’t reached this point in a while. Damn it, Tavin! Why didn’t we just answer the fucking phone? We kneel as soon as we’re in front of our bed and glance at each other. She’s regretting her rebellion now, and so am I.
When Logan comes down behind us, he storms over to her, yanking her up by her hair.
“You have obviously become much too comfortable in our relationship. Take off your dress and get on the bed.”
She rips away her clothes, jumping on the bed in a flash. He snatches the spiked belt he made for her and buckles it around her thigh, just tight enough for the needles to barely puncture her skin. His fingers wrap around the knife on the table and I think I might have a heart attack. I can tell by his demeanor that this is about to get very ugly.
“Toben. Take off your shirt and come here.” Throwing my shirt against the wall, I hurry next to him. “Spread your legs,” he barks at Tavin. She immediately obeys. Turning to me, he orders, “Put your dick in her mouth.”
It takes a second delay before I understand.
“No!” Tavin screams as she sits up.
At the same moment, I start my pleading. “No, no, no, Logan. Please! We’re sorry! Do not make me do this!”
This can’t be happening, not after we’ve made it this long.
“THIS IS NOT A MOTHERFUCKING DEMOCRACY!” His voice resounds through my veins and the entire basement. He leans into my face. “I have no problem plunging this knife into her right now! She’s more than served her purpose.” He backs off and rolls his neck. “Now, go do what I told you to.”
FUCK!
I want her, I always have, but not like this. I never wanted this. She’s horrified. As the tears stream down her face, I lean down to kiss them.
“This is not a Goddamn date. Do not make me tell you again.”
My disgust with myself only grows when I undo my pants and find myself hard as hell. While I may have had a million fantasies about her mouth around my cock, she was never scared and crying in any of them. I pull myself out and beg her with my eyes to just go along with it. To make it easier on both of us. She either doesn’t understand or refuses to give in. Logan is about to march over here and choke her with it himself. I press the tip against her lips and she backs away.
“Come on, Tav, just do it okay?” I beg.
“No, Toben, please! Not you.” She cries in a whisper, her eyes full of fear.
She’s looking at ME with fear. What the hell am I supposed to do? Logan’s fists clench. I want to cry as I take hold of her hair and shove myself in between her lips. She still tries to pull off of me. I can’t believe I’m doing this to her. She won’t look at me and I just want to keep eye contact with her to try to apologize in silent conversation.
“Suck it, Lotus!” He screams at her.
After a couple seconds, she submits and her mouth is fucking heaven. I can feel her tongue massaging along the base of my cock as she takes me deeper with each suction. I move her hair from her face. God, this is such a beautiful sight. So much more beautiful than I pictured. Her tears have wet her eyelashes making them look even longer, while her little pink lips slide up and down my shaft. I thrust into her mouth as my release already starts to build.
“Fuck yes, Love. Oh my God. Suck my cock with that perfect, fucking mouth.”
“Don’t you dare come in her mouth.” Then I need to stop right now. I take myself out and the look on her face obliterates my heart. “Her turn. And don’t stop until she comes,” Logan barks.
I want to see her eyes and she still won’t look at me. I spread her legs back apart as I get on the bed and situate in between them. I hate this. I have wanted to eat her out for years, to hear her cry out my name when I make her come. That’s clearly not going to happen. I spread her apart and go for it. I probably will never get this chance again, I’m at least going to give it my all. I stick two fingers inside of her and holy Goddamn she’s soaking wet. How can she be so turned on if she doesn’t want me? Want this?
Did I really just think that? I know better than anyone that you can get aroused as hell and truly not want it to happen. I kiss her. I can’t kiss her mouth, so I stick my tongue inside and she tastes so much better than I could have dreamed. I slide my fingers back in, fucking her with them as her pelvis starts to move. I flick her clit with my tongue and she reaches her hands in my hair spurring me on even more. I can’t help it. I’ve played this over and over in my head so many times.
“Come for me, Tav.” I pull on the belt strap, tightening it and causing the needles to dig deeper. As she bucks her hips, her pussy squeezes the shit out of my fingers and warm, sweet juices flow onto my tongue, but I want more. I keep eating her, licking it all up. “Fuck, you taste so good.” When I look at her, she’s shattered. She looks completely broken.
“Fuck her.” Logan lights a cigarette as he jerks off. I get up to my knees, pulling her down the bed and still, she won’t look at me. As if he can read my mind, he yells, “Look at him, Lotus.” She does, and I wish more than anything that she didn’t. She hates me and it burns through the violet.
Fighting tears of my own, I align myself along her folds before finally sliding inside of her for the first time.
I whisper, “I am so sorry, Love.”
A few rogue tears fall down her cheeks as I ram into her tight, little pussy. Dear God, how can something so fucking terrible feel so fucking good? Her tits are bouncing from my thrusts as I lean down to take one in my mouth. I move to kiss her logo before making my way up her neck. She smells so amazing. She’s milking the shit out of me as I tug on the belt and it isn’t long before her cunt is contracting with another orgasm. I lean back to pound out my climax.
“She’s tight as fuck, I’m gonna come.”
“Do not pull out. Come inside of her.”
“I love you,” I gasp as my semen fills her body.
As soon as I’m empty, I’m regretting saying pretty much every single thing I said. I pull out of her and she chokes out the cry she’s been containing as she rolls on her side, holding her face in her hands. I reach to touch her back and she recoils away from me.
“No.”
I pull my hand back as if it’s burnt. Oh my God, what the fuck just happened? Terror that this is going to destroy us, overtakes me. What if we can’t come back from this? I can’t lose her. I need her. She’s the other half of my soul. Logan appears next to me and he pulls her to him by her ankle. He pushes her legs open, and you can see my come dripping out of her. He slides two fingers in, pushing it deeper.
“Did Toben’s cock feel good?” She cries harder so he grabs her hair to make her look at him. “Answer me!”
“Yes, Logan!” She screams through tears.
He bends over and eats her out before he kisses her. “There, now you know what he tastes like.” More tears fall when he slams his erection into her. “You’re about to have two different men’s come inside of you. I don’t even think Lacie was that repulsive.”
That motherfucker. He knows exactly what to say to crush her from the inside out. All he’s ever wanted is to break her. This isn’t about me at all, it’s about her.
I can’t form a conscious thought about what life will be like after this. Who will I become? She’s the part of me that is pure, without her I am just like him. How will this work if she never speaks to me again? Neither of us has anywhere else to go. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if I would want to leave even if I did. Yeah, the Clients suck, but the heroin takes that feeling away. Everything else I like. Tavin, the money, the drugs
, having Nikki…hell, I even like hanging out with Logan half the time.
I always wonder who she would be if Logan never existed. There’ve been countless times that I wished it would have just been me, even though it really wouldn’t have worked out the same now, would it?
“Get your whip,” Logan snaps, bringing my attention to him. The belt around her thigh is as tight as it will go with her leg over his shoulder, as he batters into her. He rolls onto his back, bringing her on top of him, slamming her down as she thrusts her hips down onto him.
“Show me how much you want it, Lotus.” She quietly whimpers as she grinds her body against his. “Hit her!”
I will never admit this to her, but I’ve grown to love hitting her. It’s the sting from my whip that brings her to her quickest climax. While I would love to claim the credit, in her eyes it would be the blame. Her back arches in the most beautiful way when she gets hit. Her body curves in such an erotic position and her moans are sexy as fuck. She’s my Tavin, my Love, my best friend in the whole world, and I know I’ve lost her. She’ll never be with me after this. I think I can hear my heart break, and I know I can feel it. As I watch her, I can physically see the shift. I don’t know what exactly it is, but something is changing.
Flip goes my switch.
I hit her hard. All my anger, frustration and fear travels to my whip. Over and over; harder and harder. I’ve done everything I thought was best for her! Every decision was for her! Every horrible act was for her! It’s all been for her and she still hates me. All I want is to protect her!
“TOBEN!” I am breathing hard and sweating like crazy. Tavin’s back is shredded and Logan is glaring at me. “I said enough!” She falls against his chest. “She has a weekend Client and now she has to show up like this. That’s unprofessional and not how I do things.”
How do I just check out like that?
“I’m sorry, Logan.”
He ignores me as he looks at Tavin’s back and shakes his head before he pushes her up. “Go shower and wash our come out of your filthy snatch. Mr. Saxon has paid for you this weekend.” She almost falls off the bed as she stumbles. Rushing past me, she gets her clothes and hurries to the bathroom.
“She will never forgive me for that.”
I say it out loud because I can’t accept it while it’s only a thought in my mind.
“Are you under the impression that I give a fuck?”
He doesn’t make any Goddamn sense. I thought I was ‘the closest thing he’ll ever have to a son’?
“No, Logan.”
“You both need a reminder of how things work. Besides, she was never going to give it to you. Consider it a gift.”
It’s been a while since I’ve had the desire to slice open his throat. Now, though, it’s back with a vengeance. He smokes his cigarette as he lies on our bed. I wonder if I will ever wake up next to her again. He packs her a bag for the weekend and when she emerges, he hands it to her.
“Take a cab to Mr. Saxon’s. Just think of it as a two-day playdate.”
“Yes, Logan.”
“Will you ignore my calls again, Lotus?”
“No, Logan.” There’s a deep sadness in her voice that is killing me. He kisses her head and disappears into the bathroom. She turns and sprints up the stairs immediately.
“Tavin! Wait!” I run after her and catch up to her in the living room.
I reach for her arm and she yanks it out of my hand, spinning around. “Did you enjoy yourself?! Was it everything you imagined?” She cries with tears pouring down her face.
She has to stop looking at me like that. “Come on, Love, you were there, you know I didn’t have a choice.”
She shakes her head. “All those things you said.” Her furious eyes lift up and burn into me. “How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long have you been fucking other girls? You knew what you were doing, Toben. You don’t learn how to eat pussy by getting dick in your ass.”
I don’t even know how to respond to that. She spins around to the kitchen and I know she’s going for the coke stash. She cuts three lines and they are gone in a blink. She sniffs and wipes her nose as she tries to push past me. She has to stop. This isn’t my fault. I squeeze her arms and push her against the fridge. Pictures of our years together are scattered around her head.
“Do not let him do this. Not now, not after all this time.”
“Let me go!” She tries to pull herself free.
“I need you, Love.”
“Are you going to let me go? Or are you planning on raping me again, first?”
When her last sentence sinks in, the only emotion I feel is rage. I release her with force causing her head to slam against the fridge. I have to get away from her right now.
I slam my hand against the refrigerator by her head. “I didn’t have a motherfucking choice!”
Storming back downstairs, I wait for Logan to finish so I can shower, get lit, go to the club, and ruin the first hot bitch to open her legs.
Whoever she is, she’s in for a world of hurt.
HE’S RIGHT, I WAS THERE. I saw the way he looked at me, he wanted to rip me apart. I heard the ecstasy in his voice when he moaned out all of those things. I’ve felt guilty for years because I didn’t want to have sex and I knew he needed it. Even though I tried to give him what I could, I knew it would eventually not be enough. Apparently, it hasn’t been enough for a while.
He’s been lying to me for how long? Three lines is definitely not going to be enough. I do two more before I throw on my flip flops and new sunglasses. My blue T-shirt dress is short and easy to take off as ordered.
Mr. Saxon, or excuse me, I mean Master, wants to play with me again already? For a whole dang weekend? Since when is that even an option? I guess the whole five-playdates-a-week thing is out the window.
In the back of my mind, I think I might be being unfair. It was my choice to ignore Logan’s call after all. It would never have happened if I wouldn’t have tested him, I just really didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. I only needed a break. These Clients take a lot from me and I get tired of hearing what a whore, cunt, or bitch I am. I already know. I hear it from Logan, too, it’s just normal with him.
I know that what I said to Toben was harsh and I don’t doubt that he didn’t want it to happen that way. Even if it felt good, he should have still hated it. He was more turned on than ever before and I’ve never seen his eyes that dark. What’s worse is that he was good at it. He got me off quicker than Logan does and I wasn’t lying when I said he felt good. So why do I feel so gross? It was Toben, the only person in the world that I love and I’m scared that when I look at him all I will hear is his words bouncing around in my head.
Fuck, Love. Oh my God, yes! Suck my cock with that perfect fucking mouth.
I hate that he’s been inside me. I hate that he made me come so effortlessly and I hate that we can’t take it back. I hate that this changes things. He’s the only one I’ve ever wanted and I did want to want to have sex with him, but it’s DIRTY. Now our pure, perfect relationship is tainted and will never be the same again. Still, the idea of not having him near, makes me physically ill, even now.
I need to stop this…and do more coke. We will deal with this when I get back Sunday. I put white powder into a vile so I can have some bumps on the way and to sneak, over the weekend. God knows I’ll need it.
The cab drops me off and I crane my neck looking at Master’s castle. I would have freaked out if I would have seen this place when I was little. It would be better with a mote. I shove the vile in my dress pocket. He mentioned knocking last time so I opt for that and wipe my nose.
When the door opens, there’s no suit, just a bluish-gray T-shirt that’s working way too hard, and white linen pants. I glance up at him and quickly look away. Eye contact, while I’m high, makes me uncomfortable.
“Hello, Tavin.” Was his voice that deep last time?
“Hello, Master.”
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“You need to speak up when you address me.”
I yell, “Yes, Master.”
His nostrils flare and he steps so close that our bodies are touching, “I understand that you’re a teenager, but give me attitude again and we’re going to have a very big problem.”
Sheesh.
“Yes, Master.”
I follow him inside and he hands my bag to a woman in a blue dress. We go the same way as last time and once we are in his playroom, I quickly undress and kneel. He lightly trails his fingertips along my jawline and up my face.
“Your choice of clothing today pleases me.”
Duh, that’s what you asked for.
I smile on the inside because that would be so funny to see his reaction if I actually said that to him.
He circles behind me. “I want y-”. When he stops talking, the entire room is still with a tense thickness. It moves again when he yanks me to my feet by my arm. “Your back is completely destroyed! How am I supposed to suspend you when you’re in shreds?” He paces in front of me and shoves a hand through his thick hair.
“Would you like to reschedule, Master?”
“No,” he snaps. “Never mind, I’m putting you up anyway.” On his way to the wall, he picks up my dress and I know I’m screwed when I hear the tink of the vile hitting the concrete floor.
I close my eyes and crack them back open to see him bend over to pick it up. Once he realizes what it is, I can almost see the steam coming out of his ears. His head snaps in my direction and I jerk my head forward. I must have blinked because he’s instantly in front of me.
While he’s gripping my neck, all the pressure is coming from his fingers holding my jaw so I have to look him in the eye.
“You show up high? Are you serious?!”
He throws the vile and it explodes against the wall.
Dang it.
He grabs my arm to turn it over and look at my track marks. “Don’t think I didn’t notice this shit last time. If you were mine, this would not happen.” He throws my arm back down. “Completely unacceptable. I’m calling Mr. James.”
No!