Cupcakes and Crooked Spoons (Sweet Treats Book 3)

by Charity B.

  For the first time, I’m grateful Alexander is around when he walks over and steps on Logan’s arm. He shifts his weight until Logan releases his grip on the blade. I’m surprised at his support in this as he hands me the knife. If he wasn’t in love with the same girl I am, he might not be so bad.

  I turn my attention to Logan. Even with his face covered in blood, he wears a smug expression as if he still doesn’t take me seriously.

  “You’re done. You’ve taken everything from me, from us. It’s ending now.”

  He looks at me as if I’m lying to him. “Oh, come now, Plaything. That isn’t true. I gave you your Lotuses, didn’t I?”

  As soon as he says those words, my body freezes and my heart drops into my gut. I can’t believe he just said that. He never promised me he wouldn’t tell her, but it was an unspoken agreement. She was never supposed to know this.

  I back away from him like it will reverse his words. I don’t want to look at Tavin, but I need to know how she’s reacting to this. When I lift my eyes to hers she’s horrified.

  “What’s he talking about?” My fist tightens around the hilt of the knife and I can’t bring myself to speak. She’s looking at me in a way she never has before. “You have your own girls?” She knows what being a Lotus entails and the torture that it indicates. Her features become overrun with anger and I can’t stand her expression. “Why? How long have you done this?” She doesn’t understand! It’s not how she thinks. Yes, I’ve made mistakes, but he’s the one who fucked me up. He’s the one who turned me into this. For the first time since I killed Morgan, I wish I would have been honest with her about everything. Maybe I didn’t give her enough credit and she would have realized I didn’t have many choices. Now I don’t know if it’s too late for that. “Answer me, Toben!” She screams.

  Her head jerks as I see Logan standing in my peripheral. I want him to stay down, I just don’t want to take my eyes off her. I open my mouth to try to explain when Logan speaks first.

  “You think he’s innocent in all this. He’s caused you more suffering than you realize, my little Lotus. There’s so much you don’t know. He helped me play with my Lotuses for years before obtaining his own.”

  Squeezing her eyes shut, she shakes her head as the tears fall. “You have another Lotus?”

  Logan smiles one of the most honest smiles I’ve ever seen from him as he takes out a cigarette. “Oh, I’ve had several.”

  She looks in so much pain and I regret all the lies I’ve told her and secrets I’ve kept. I wish more than anything I could go back and change things. I would do them so differently.

  “There are more Sweet Girls? There’s more like me?”

  “Oh no, my Plaything,” Logan says. “None have been like you. The others all kept their expiration date. Besides Nikki, of course.”

  “They’re dead?” She flinches as she looks at me the same way she did the day we had sex. “You’ve killed people?”

  She doesn’t understand! I want to tell her this was all to save her and protect her, but I don’t want her to feel like any of this is her fault. I’m still Toben when I’m with her, that has never changed. I reach out for her; I need to hold her. She backs away from me to stand next to him.

  Black and red are all I see. After everything, she still trusts him more than me.

  That’s because of Logan.

  I grip the knife and press it to his neck as I tackle him to the ground.

  “You made me just like you!”

  “I didn’t make you who you are, Plaything,” he spits, “I simply brought it out. You love what you do to your Lotuses. You know you do. It makes you feel alive.”

  He’s right, but it was his fault! His words are true, but he’s twisting them.

  “No, no, NO! I never would have done those things if it wasn’t for you!” I dip the knife into his lip and slice across his face. He is going to suffer the same fate he’s put us through for over a decade. “It’s my turn to play, Logan.”

  He has beaten, scarred, and tortured me and God knows how many girls. It’s time he wears the mark of what he is, just as he’s made us do. Not the Lotus though, he doesn’t deserve that. No, he needs something as ugly as his soul is.

  Cutting open his shirt with the knife, I stand and tell Alexander, “Don’t let him get up.”

  I walk over to Logan’s bag and am pleased that the torch is right on top. This is going to be fun. I grab it and as I make my way back to Logan, Tavin cries for me to stop. After all the terrible things he’s done to her, to those she loves, and she still doesn’t want him to suffer.

  Well, sorry, Love. He’s going to suffer immensely.

  I fall to my knees and lean over to his ear. “This is the last time I ever kneel for you.” He won’t ever show it intentionally, but I know him well enough to know there’s fear there. He always tries to act as if he’s beyond human emotions. He’s just as killable as the rest of us. “You’re so fond of marking your toys, I think it’s time you know how it feels.”

  I turn on the blowtorch and watch as his skin bubbles beneath the flame. He doesn’t last long before he screams out in pain. My heart is racing and my stomach is flipping in excitement. The sounds of his agony are more satisfying than I thought they would be. He’s not fighting me other than his body’s natural reaction to the pain. I wonder if he knows this is the end. He always said when he died, he would do so gracefully.

  Keeping him pinned down, I finish dragging the flame across his chest to tell the world what a sicko he really is. He’s a predator and his prey were children.

  I turn off the torch and his body goes still besides the rise and fall of his chest. His breathing is heavy, but he’s done screaming.

  I don’t want to do this alone. Tavin deserves this vengeance just as much, if not more than I do. Setting the torch on the floor, I pick up the knife. Please let her still trust me and love me enough to do this with me.

  As I turn to her, I hand her the blade. “This is it, Tav. He’s used and abused us for over half our lives. He stole who we were supposed to be. It’s time he suffers for it. He deserves to die.”

  She shakes her head as she reaches for the knife, though I can exhale better when she doesn’t back away from me.

  “I don’t know if I can,” she whispers.

  I need her to do this with me. She has to understand that this is the only way. “He won’t ever stop. If we want this to end, we have to end it.”

  Forcing back the tears when she takes my hand, I lead her to Logan as Alexander watches us. She’s shaking as she sits on his stomach and I crouch down by his head.

  “I’ve taken care of you, Tavin, kept you safe. You, Toben, and I are a family,” Logan tells her.

  I almost scoff. Some family. I see her soften at his words and it makes me so angry that he can still manipulate her feelings after all this time.

  “You’ve never said we are a family, before,” she cries.

  Her tears pour down her face as she closes her eyes. I won’t let him trick her or lie to her anymore. “He’s trying to confuse you. He’s a liar, Love. I need you to remember. Please, really remember what he’s made you feel like.” I rub my thumb over her temple so she knows I mean all the horrible thoughts he made her have. “Here.”

  The time has come to end his disgusting excuse for a life, once and for all. I look up at Alexander who is hard faced, staring at Tavin. I stand and hold out my hand to him.

  “Give me your knife.”

  He does so automatically. He wants this just as much as I do and I’m happy for it because he isn’t fighting us on this. I get back down behind Logan, causing the blade to indent into his throat.

  “He’s forced us to be with countless men, he’s done unspeakable things to you, and he’s made me do them to others. I need you to do this with me, Tav. When you bleed, I bleed, right?”

  She closes her eyes again and when she opens them, my heart leaps at the fury blazing within them. Her brows scrunch together and her an
gry tears continue to fall as she frowns at Logan.

  “You never loved us. We were always just your toys.”

  Saying the words seems to release a hidden rage within her and I involuntarily let out a harsh breath. I am so proud of her. She’s finally allowing herself to see him for what he really is.

  “Though that may be true, Lotus, I’ve had many toys, and you two were always my favorites. If I could love, I would have loved the both of you.”

  I look at her, fearing she’ll believe the words she’s always wanted him to say. Instead her nostrils flare and her head jerks just before she stabs the knife into Logan’s chest.

  His eyes widen as he coughs blood all over himself. He won’t ever hurt me, her, or anyone else ever again. I grip the knife in my fist and press the blade into the soft skin, watching it split apart as I cut.

  For half of a second, I almost feel regret. I have a flash of sorrow that I won’t ever hear him call me ‘plaything’ in that borderline endearing way that he did, ever again. That abruptly ends when Tavin screams at the top of her lungs and plunges the knife back into his body six more times. Finally, the blade falls from her fingers and clatters onto the concrete.

  “Good bye, Logan,” she sobs.

  After thirteen years of fearing this man, it’s surreal for him to be nothing more than a bloody sack of flesh. He always seemed so powerful. Now he’s nothing.

  For the first time since we arrived, Alexander speaks, though he sounds weird with the holes in his tongue. “We need to go, grab anything important. You need to clean up and change your clothes.” My eyes shift up to Tavin, but she makes no move to do what he asks. I need her to look at me, I need to see what’s changed between us. “I’m sorry, we have to get out of here,” Alexander adds.

  She gets up and when she kneels next to me and presses our heads together, I can’t keep myself from crying. What happens now? We don’t have Logan to force us together and I don’t know if she’ll forgive me for Nikki and Tiffany. My last hope is that she’ll come home now that there isn’t a threat. I’ll try to explain everything and hope she truly understands that I will do anything for her.

  We hold each other for a few silent beautiful moments. For the first time in our adult lives, we’re free.

  She chose him.

  As soon as we got into Silas’ car, Alexander made his anger over Nikki and Tiffany abundantly clear. I gave him the address to their house and Tavin chose to go with him.

  Until that moment, I thought I might be able to convince her to forgive me, if she would have just stayed with me and talked about it. She didn’t though, and she didn’t even argue with him when he suggested calling the cops. That never would have happened six months ago.

  As I watch her drive away, I realize in this moment, that she’s truly in love with him. I guess I’ve always known it, I just refused to believe that I lived in a world where it could be true. How could she love anyone more than me? I could never come close to loving anyone like I love her. She smiles at him like she used to smile at me. When she’s in his presence, her body glows like a shooting star. I had hoped when they had their falling out that they were finally over, but now I know.

  She’s really gone. I finally lost her.

  They are going to see Nikki and Tiffany and as soon as she sees what I’ve done with her own eyes, she’ll never look at me the way she used to, ever again.

  For as long as I can remember, she’s been my only purpose. She is quite literally the reason I breathe. I care for Nikki, but they are going to take her from me, too. They are going to lock me in a cage until I’m old and gray. By the time I get out, Tavin and I won’t even recognize each other.

  What was it all for? Why the fuck have I spent my entire life fighting to survive? Because at the end of the day, I had her. Now, even she has left me.

  I have nothing.

  I am nothing.

  Silas pats me on the back and leads me inside his building. As we take the elevator to his penthouse, he asks, “You wanna drink some beer and order a pizza and watch the new X-Men movie?”

  As if my life isn’t falling apart around me. I scoff and shake my head, “Nah. Today took a lot out of me. Do you have somewhere I can lie down?”

  He nods as the elevator doors open to a swanky living room. “Yeah, sure. Come on.” I follow him toward the back of the penthouse to a hallway. Opening the door to a bedroom, he gestures inside.

  The bed looks like it’s on stilts and I can see all the lights across Shadoebox through the huge window. I toss my bag on the floor as he leans against the doorframe. “I can actually be a good listener if you’re interested. I won’t be biased, believe it or not.”

  I smile at him. I’m not used to this type of kindness from people. Maybe in another life, we could have been friends.

  “Thanks…maybe later. For now, I just need some sleep.”

  Grabbing the doorknob, he backs out of the room. “Alright man, holler if you need anything.”

  “Okay.”

  He closes the door and I dig my phone out of my bag before I walk to the window. It really is an awesome view. Choosing Christopher’s name in my contacts, I call him.

  “Hey, man what’s up? I thought you had some big thing to talk to me about?”

  The tears burn at the thought of never seeing him again. He was never anything, but an incredible best friend. “Hey, ah, nah. That doesn’t matter anymore…I just…this is gonna sound weird, but don’t be a dick about it, okay?”

  He laughs and a tear makes its way down my cheek. “No promises.”

  “Thank you for standing by me all these years, I know I’ve lied and hid things from you, but just know it was to protect you. You’re like my brother, Christopher. I want you to know I love you.”

  He’s silent for a moment before his somber voice says, “You’re fucking freaking me out.”

  I try to lighten my voice. “Sorry man, I’m just high. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Golden.”

  “Well, just so you know…I feel the same. I mean, you’re my best friend. You always have been.”

  I hang up the phone and turn it off before picking up my bag and setting it on the bed. I pull out all the pictures I took off the fridge, kissing her in each one.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t be who you needed, I will never stop loving you, Tavin. Not even this can stop that. I just hope he makes you happy and gives you the life I never could. Goodbye, Love.”

  I tuck the photographs into my lyric book and grab a pen.

  Love is darker than hate

  When it comes to pain

  I need the silence

  And the hush to fall like rain

  I pull my works kit, a water bottle, and a balloon from my bag before pouring as much powder as I can into the spoon. After pulling the mixture into the syringe, I mix a little more. Surely this is enough to do the trick. I find the vein and take a deep breath.

  I know I don’t deserve it, but I hope it doesn’t hurt to die. Looking out over the view of Shadoebox, I push down on the plunger.

  BOOM. BOOM.

  CRASH.

  The softest silence….

  “My darling boy, what have you done?”

  Her voice is sweeter than honey on a comb. She’s more beautiful than I ever imagined.

  “Mom?”

  Her hand caresses my face and it feels like flower petals and her white dress flows around her like wings.

  “Oh, my love. With all you have suffered, you have also inflicted pain on others. That’s not how you want to leave things is it?”

  “But it’s too late.”

  “It’s never too late to change, Toben. You can make up for what you’ve done. Pay your penance and let out my precious little boy that I know is still in here.” Her hand presses against my chest as she smiles. “Be the man I know you can be. I love you so much and I always have.”

  “I’m scared. I don’t want to li
ve without her.”

  “She’ll never truly leave you. Though she may live her own life, you will always be a part of it.”

  She’s right. I feel it in my skin. This doesn’t have to be the end. It can be a whole new beginning. “I want to try. I want to make you proud.”

  Taking my face in her hands, she kisses my forehead. “Then go, live the life you never allowed yourself to dream of.”

  “How?”

  She leans next to my ear and whispers, “Just…breathe.”

  The hospital machines beep as they pump me full of fluids through tubes. I scrape the bottom of my third lime Jell-O as the cartoons on the TV play.

  Tavin clearly was a little unsure of how to feel about what I told her last night, but she’ll see. I’m going to make my life mean something. Something I can be proud of. The first thing I’m going to do is go see Nikki. I’m going to explain to her that I don’t want to cause her anymore pain. I want her to be free.

  The chances are I’m going to see some jail time. The thought still makes me uncomfortable, but I know it’s what I have to do if I ever want to try and right all my wrongs. Apparently, Alexander thinks I can get a minimal sentence with our history.

  It’s not going to ever be easy watching Tavin with him, but seeing her so happy will be worth the ache. I will be her friend however she needs me.

  My door opens and I look up and smile expecting to see Tavin. I get to leave the hospital today and she and Alexander are picking me up.

  The smile falls from my face when Kyle enters the room. He’s wearing a raincoat even though it’s a sunny day outside and is carrying a plastic bag. The machine measuring my heart rate beeps faster as he shuts the door and makes his way to my bed.

  “You really didn’t think I’d know it was you?” He reaches into his jacket and pulls out the blade. “He was my only friend. He was the strongest, most intelligent man I’ve ever known and he was the only person I’ve ever cared about.” My tongue has swollen to three times its size and I’m not able to speak. “From the moment he bought you, things changed between me and him. The only thing I regret, is not being able to make this last.”