Maya finds the blanket down near their feet and pulls it over herself. She feels cold and her nausea has returned. A tear rolls down her cheek, and she swipes angrily at it with the back of her hand.
Mark stares at her but there are no more kisses. He doesn't touch her. Instead, he looks up at the ceiling again, his face cold. "So, I take it I'm your first." He sounds irritated. Angry, even. Was it that obvious?
"I'm only fourteen," Maya tells him, embarrassed he could tell.
Mark exhales loudly and scratches at the side of his face.
"I'm sorry," Maya says. And she is. Why? Why is she so stupid? Of course, she should have told him she was a virgin. He's experienced. He's probably been with tons of girls. If she'd told him, he would have been gentler with her. He would have taken more time and it would have been sweet and romantic and lovely. This is all her fault. "I'm really sorry, Mark," she says again.
He sits up to retrieve his shirt from the floor. "Forget about it. But...come on, you're on the pill, right?"
"Of course," she lies.
"Good," Mark leans over and gives her a peck on her cheek, then reaches for a pack of Player's from the side table and lights a cigarette.
Maya shrinks away from the smoke.
"You'll see," Mark says, inhaling deeply. "A few more times and it'll be better." He gives her another wink. "You'll like it more next time. I promise."
Next time! Maya smiles. He wants to see her again! He wants there to be a next time. She couldn't have done such a bad job, then. She sits up, disgusted to discover the insides of her thighs are sticky.
"You know what would hit the spot right about now?" Mark says, pulling on his boxers.
Maya is hoping he's thinking what she's thinking; that a hot chocolate and a sandwich somewhere would be awesome. Or maybe they could take a walk; hold hands and wander along the trail by the estuary. Maybe even feed the ducks that hang out there.
"What?" she asks hopefully.
"A joint! You don't have any weed, do you?"
Her heart sinks. Pot. No. She doesn't have any weed. But Nicole does. Nicole has lots. Her brother deals. "Sorry," she tells Mark. "I don't."
"Well, shit!" He throws a shoe across the room and runs his hand through his thick dark hair. "That sucks."
The sudden change in his mood makes Maya uneasy. "But, I can totally get you some," she says quickly. "If you want. I mean, I know someone who has good pot. If you wanted to buy some."
"Hell, yeah," Mark says, turning to look at Maya. "You talking about your friend, Nicole? Because her bro has good stuff. Think you can score me a better deal than that douchebag would give me?"
"Of course, I can," Maya says. "Nicole is, like, my best friend."
Mark puts on his jeans and walks over to the card table. He picks up his wallet and peels two fifty-dollar bills from it. He hands them to Maya. "Okay, babe. I'm counting on you to score me a very generous hundred sack?"
"Sure," Maya says. "No problem." She takes the money and stuffs the bills into the pocket of her jeans, still lying on the floor. She has no idea what a hundred sack is, but she's pretty sure Nicole will help her out with that.
"Well, we should probably get going," Mark says, lacing up his shoes.
"But, I don't have to be back until 3:00," Maya says, glancing at the big analogue clock on the wall. It's not even noon.
Mark yanks the blanket away from her, exposing her nakedness. He pushes her back down on the bed and lies on top of her.
"I know, baby girl," he says. "But, I kind of have a whole lotta shit to do today."
Maya frowns. She had thought they were spending the whole day together. Hadn't he said that earlier? She can't remember—her head is so thick. So foggy.
He sits up and pats her knee. "Listen. Tomorrow. We can hook up again tomorrow. When you bring the weed. We'll hang out for a bit, okay? Like that idea?"
Maya doesn't realize she's being patronized, so she nods, because yes, she would like that. She would like that very much.
"Okay then, gorgeous. It's a date. And maybe tomorrow will be a little better for you if you know what I mean?" He tries to push his hand between her legs, but she clamps them together. "Oh," he laughs. "That's cute. It's a little late to play The Good Girl, don't you think? Come on, hot stuff. Get dressed."
Maya's stomach flips and she reaches for her clothes. Of course! Of course, it will be better the next time. She needs to stop being so whiny. The first time doesn't count. Everyone says that. The important thing is, he wants to see her again. He wants to be with her again. She is officially going out with Mark Johnson. Maya and Mark...Mark and Maya.
When Mark goes into the bathroom, Maya quickly gets dressed. It still stings between her legs but it'll be okay. All she needs is a shower. She'll have one when she gets back to school.
She walks across the room and stares at her reflection in the dirty mirror hanging on the wall.
Dirty or not, she likes the look of the young woman staring back at her.
The little girl is gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
At 3:30, Eddie is waiting where he always waits, by the cafeteria doors. Maya spots him right away. He's talking with Cora, the woman who manages the kitchen. She's probably giving him some leftovers. She does that from time to time when no one is watching. No questions asked.
"Well, look at you!" Cora says when she sees Maya. "My, my! You're just getting too damn pretty for your own good!" She hugs Maya against her ample chest, then holds her at arms-length. "Lord, girl! When did you go and get all grown up? You went and turned into a woman overnight!"
If only she knew, Maya thinks.
"Don't encourage her," Eddie says under his breath, and Maya takes a playful swing at her brother with her backpack.
"Listen," Cora says under her breath. "I've got a whole pan of lasagna leftover from lunch. Why don't you meet me round back in a few minutes and you can take it on home with you? I can put it in some Tupperware so it'll fit in that backpack."
Eddie hesitates. "What about your grandson?" He knows Cora is raising her daughter's son, and more than once she's made a reference to the fact that money is tight.
"No, no," she insists. "I have a whole other pan. And besides, Colton doesn't eat anything but Mac n' Cheese and those fishy crackers, anyway. Go on. You take it."
"Well, if you're sure," Eddie says, looking over his shoulder. "I won't say no."
Maya spots Nicole and Paige at the end of the hall. "Eddie? I need to ask Nicole something. I'll meet you round the back in a few minutes?"
Eddie frowns. "What now?"
"Just wait. I'll only be a minute."
Eddie heads toward the exit doors to meet Cora, and Maya runs in the other direction to catch up with the girls. When she reaches them, they stop talking and look at her with cold, calculating eyes.
"What?" Maya says, laughing. "Did I just grow another head or something?"
"Noooo," Nicole says slowly, "but...um...how are things going with Mark?"
"Oh," Maya blushes. "So good. Like, really, really good. Thank you so much for loaning me those shoes, Nicole. I can give them back to you now if you want. They're in my locker. That was so nice of you."
Paige raises her eyebrow at Nicole.
"What?" Maya asks again.
"Oh...nothing," Paige says. "Only, you should probably know that there's this rumour going around about you and Mark right now."
"A rumour? What kind of rumour?"
Paige and Nicole exchange looks. "That, you guys...you know... did it this morning, at Mark's friend's apartment," Paige says.
Maya flushes. She wonders who could know this already? And so fast!
"So?" Nicole says, leaning in toward Maya. "Is it true? Did you actually have sex with him?"
"No!" Maya says. "I mean, yes, but it wasn't like the way you're making it sound. We..."
"Oh my God!" Paige shrieks. "So, it's true? You actually fuc--
"Shhhhh!" Maya whispers. "Don't make it s
ound so gross! It wasn't like that! What's wrong with you guys? You're the ones who told me to go out with him in the first place. You totally said I was crazy not to. Nicole, you gave me the shoes and everything! You told me to dress nice!"
Nicole just shakes her head.
"And what about all that sex advice?" Maya says. "All that stuff about what guys like and everything? You—"
"All girls our age talk about sex," Nicole says slowly, as though Maya is an imbecile. "But it's just talking, Maya."
"Yeah," Paige says, narrowing her eyes. "We said to wear something nice...and flirt with him, dude. We didn't mean you were supposed to like, do him! God Maya, do you want people to think you're a total slut? We're only in the ninth grade."
"Yeah," Nicole says. "Plus, Mark has been dating Georgia Baines for, like, two years."
"But you told me they broke up a long time ago," Maya says. "And Marcus said she was a bitch. Anyway, he wouldn't go out with me if he already has a girlfriend?"
"Jesus, Maya," Nicole says impatiently, "don't be so naive. Mark and Georgia break up, like a million times a week. You didn't actually think he would dump her for you, did you?"
Paige tugs on her friend's sleeve. "Come on, Nikki. If we want to catch a ride with Brody, we have to go."
"Wait!" Maya says, as her friends turn to leave. "Wait. I was wondering. Nicole. I wanted to ask you..." she lowers her voice and leans in close. "Do you have any weed right now? Mark gave me some money. He said he wants a generous hundred sack. I thought, you know, because your brother—"
"Oh, really?" Nicole says, smirking. "Mark is sending you to do his shopping now, is he?"
"He just figured, because you and I are friends, well..."
Nicole's face softens a little. "Yeah, yeah. My brother has lots. Do you have the money right now?"
"Yeah," Maya says. "Do you want to go somewhere?"
"Nah," Nicole says coolly. "Just give me the money and I'll have it for you in the morning." She smiles at Maya now, the coldness gone from her eyes.
"Well," Maya says nervously. "I could just meet you somewhere in the morning then, instead of—"
"No way! If you want the "friend deal" then I need the money now. My brother's rules; not mine."
Maya hesitates. She knows Eddie will be waiting for her around the back of the cafeteria. If she doesn't get there soon, he'll come back to investigate. She quickly pushes the two fifty-dollar bills into Nicole's hand.
"But where should we meet tomorrow?" Maya calls after them as they walk off.
Paige and Nicole don't answer her. When Maya calls out again, Nicole stops, turns around and looks impatient. "Would you just calm your shit, Maya. We'll find you, okay?"
And then they are gone.
***
"Why are you in such a hurry?" Eddie asks his sister in the morning. It isn't like her. Normally Eddie needs a crowbar to get her up. He checks the old-school alarm clock in the glove compartment—the old mechanical kind that you have to wind up every day. It's only six a.m. They could easily sleep another hour. It's pissing rain and he's so tired; he must have woken at least ten times during the night. Man, he sleeps like a senior citizen these days.
"I have to meet someone," Maya tells him impatiently, sitting up in the back seat. "Come on, Eddie! A little privacy, okay? I need to get dressed."
"It's really early," Eddie says. "And who do you have to meet, anyway?" he asks.
"No one you know."
"I'd better know," Eddie warns.
"It's not a big deal, Eddie," Maya says. "I just need to get some notes off Nicole, okay? I have a test today and I really want to pass it."
"Why aren't you taking your own notes?"
"Please Eddie, can we just go. I don't want to be late."
When they get to school, the doors are open but only a few kids are there, mostly just the nerds who like to get in extra study time before first block.
"See you later, bro," Maya says, rushing off down the hall.
"Whatever," Eddie says. He watches her scuttle off in those damn tight jeans, the ones he hates. She's acting so strange lately, he thinks.
He decides to head to the gym to grab a quick shower.
Luck is with him today—the place is empty, and he snags the shower with the best water pressure, the one at the end. He stands with his face in the stream of water, running it as hot as he can stand it, then shampoos his hair three times. The shampoo is awesome—the stuff Maya managed to score a while back. Strawberries. And Vanilla. Or something.
When he's done, he dresses in clean jeans and a Harvard U sweatshirt he found at the thrift store a while back for four bucks. He kind of likes the irony and ignores the snide comments some of the other kids hurl at him when he wears it. Mostly, he just likes the colour, green.
Sean Talbot and Brody Bates walk in as Eddie is lacing up his shoes. Brody balls up the wrapper from his 7-11 donut and fires it at Eddie's head. "Nice hair, fag."
Eddie ignores him and pointedly takes his time lacing his other shoe. He doesn't let these pricks get to him. He knows better.
"I said, nice hair!" Brody says again. Both boys are built like freight trains, with necks as thick as grown men's thighs. Sean is the rugby team's notorious open side flanker, and Brody, their tight head prop.
"Wish I could say the same for you," Eddie says under his breath.
"What did you say?" Brody exchanges glances with Sean and takes a step closer but Eddie stands up, grabs his pack, and begins to head for the door.
"He asked you a question," Sean says. The two of them stand before Eddie, blocking his way and most of the available light.
"Jesus. Just let me by," Eddie says.
Without warning, Brody drives his fist in the centre of Eddie's stomach, and Eddie slams against the lockers, winded.
"Next time," Sean says, "don't be so goddam rude." Brody high-fives him, and the pair swagger over to the sinks where they light up a couple of cigarettes.
Eddie straightens up and waits for his breathing to even out before leaving the shower room. He curses his 155-pound frame; it makes him a sitting duck for 200-pound apes like Sean and Brody. But even though there's nothing he'd like more, he knows better than to start anything. He knows he wouldn't stand a chance. Not in a million years.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Maya can't find Nicole or Paige anywhere.
She checks the girls' washroom and the cafeteria with no luck. They aren't in the library or waiting in the parking lot either. What if they don't come, Maya thinks? No, that's silly. Of course, they'll come. She needs to calm down. It'll be okay—there's plenty of time still. Nicole is probably making the deal right now, this very second, in fact. Maya tells herself she just needs to relax. She worries too much, mostly about stupid things. Even so, Nicole and Paige were so mean yesterday. Maya is still trying to understand what she did wrong. What mistake did she make this time?
We'll find you, they'd said. Maya decides the best thing to do is to wait by her locker. But when she rounds the corner in the hallway, it isn't Nicole who's leaning against her locker. It's Mark. She was not expecting to see him. Not yet, anyway. He's wearing a soft blue shirt and his hair is falling over his right eye. Maya's stomach fills with butterflies.
"Hey there, beautiful," he says.
Despite her worry over the girls, Maya rushes to him and throws her arms around his neck. "Hi!"
Mark acts as though he's been electrocuted and grabs hold of her wrists, peeling her hands off his shoulders. "Hey, hey now! A little discretion, babe!" he hisses at her through clenched teeth as he checks the hallway in both directions. "You gotta be more careful, Maya. You don't want people thinking I'm some kind of perv, do you?"
Of course, he's right. He is a lot older than she is. Some people might get the wrong idea. She shoves her feelings of rejection aside and realizes that he's just looking out for her; trying to protect her. Being thoughtful. Again. She ought to be grateful.
"So," he whispers. "You got
it? The weed?"
"Any minute," Maya promises. "I'm just waiting for Nicole."
Mark frowns. "Well, don't disappoint me, Maya." He leans in close and gives her a wink. "A hundred bucks is a whack of coin. I can trust you, right?"
"Of course you can trust me," Maya tells him, but her hands are clammy inside the pockets of her jacket and the butterflies in her stomach have been replaced with that slightly nauseous feeling again.
"Okay then," he says. "I'll see you after lunch. And then you n' me can cut class again, eh?"
Maya smiles. She wants to be with him more than ever, but she doesn't feel great about missing more school. And she isn't really a fan of that dirty apartment, either.
"We'll smoke a joint or two of that killer weed," Mark says. "And my friend won't be back till the weekend. We can use his place again, give things another go if you catch my drift." He stares hard at her breasts.
Maya catches his drift and even though she is still a little sore from yesterday, her stomach flips with excitement. It might be a little uncomfortable, but it's also a reminder that she is special; she, after all, is Mark Johnson's girlfriend.
Mark gives her a smile and then jogs down the hall to catch up to Brody and Sean at the other end.
But by third block, Nicole is still nowhere to be found, and by the end of lunch hour, Maya has deduced that she's never going to show up. When she spies Paige by her locker, Paige barely even acknowledges her.
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