by Dana R. Lynn
How dare he make a mockery of what happened between them.
“That’s it?” she hissed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Is this the way you normally work? Holding hands, kissing? That how you deal with women in your protection?”
His expression closed in even more. She took two steps, bringing her toes an inch from his.
“I don’t think it is, Aiden. I think you felt something, just like I did. And I think that you are so afraid of failing others that you refuse to give in to your feelings. Is that what it is?”
“You’re wrong. There were no feelings. I was only comforting you.”
Her heart was breaking inside her chest, and there was nothing she could do. She placed a hand gently on his cheek. He stiffened. She started to withdraw her hand but stopped when his hand covered hers. A war was going on inside him. Sophie could see him fighting. Then their eyes met. And held. When he leaned down to kiss her, she met him halfway.
Her heart fluttered in her chest. The kiss went on for a few seconds before he brought it to an end and moved away from her. She could see the emotion on his face now. He wasn’t able to mask his feelings. When he’d kissed her, she thought maybe there was a chance. That hope faded as she looked into his eyes.
When she saw despair, her breath caught in her throat.
“I can’t. Sophie, I can’t be the man for you. I have too much baggage. I’m not a good bargain for any woman.”
She used the last argument she had. “I know you have things to work through. I’m willing to wait. But please don’t close the door on us. Aiden, I love you.”
At first, she thought she’d gotten through to him.
Then he shook his head. “There is no us. Have a safe trip back to Chicago.”
When he walked away, he carried her heart with him.
SIXTEEN
Aiden rapped on the door, his stomach quivering like he’d swallowed several large and very active frogs. He tugged at the tie he was wearing, already regretting putting it on this morning. Sweat was beading on his forehead. He wasn’t sure if it was from nerves or the heat. It was sweltering in the dim hallway.
What was he doing here? This journey was bound to end in failure.
Again.
He almost turned around and left. Almost. But he had a promise to keep. And he would never be at peace or be able to return to the woman he loved until this step was taken.
If she’d accept him now.
He grimaced. It had been three weeks since he’d last seen Sophie. Three weeks in which he’d focused all his energies on completing the one task left undone. A task he was going to complete today. Hopefully, it would end positively.
He knocked again.
Footsteps came pounding behind the door. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” an irritated female voice called out.
He tugged at his tie again, then shoved his hand in his pocket as the door opened a few inches. A head peeked around the corner, although the door continued to block the rest of her from his view.
He faced a woman he hadn’t seen in years. By her choice. She had been more of a girl then. Her face had been rounder, hair longer and blonder. But he’d recognize the eyes of his baby sister anywhere.
“Aiden.” One single word.
Was there hope in that tone? Would she slam the door closed on his face? She had the last time he’d tried to find her, right after she’d aged out of the foster care system. Back then, she’d been living with a boy she’d grown close to in the system. That was five years ago. Her gaze was shuttered now as she watched him. Wary. Had he imagined the hope?
The door moved slightly. He could now see her shoulders, which heaved as she sucked in a huge breath. They were too thin. When she exhaled, a sob came with it.
“Aiden,” she said again, tears streaming down her face. “How did you find me?”
He wanted to reach out and pull her into a hug. But the door was still blocking him. Holding himself back, he tried to speak around the lump lodged firmly in the middle of his throat. It was difficult.
“I’m a cop. I have means.” Cautiously he stepped closer. “Can we talk?”
She bit her lip, and for a moment he stopped breathing. She was going to say no. Then she took a step back and opened the door wider, gesturing for him to come in. He didn’t give her a chance to change her mind. As he stepped past her, he realized that she was pregnant. Very pregnant.
Discreetly, he turned and looked at her left hand.
He let out a relieved sigh when he saw the wedding ring. She was married. Her baby would have a father.
He hoped the child would also be able to know his or her uncle. It all depended on how this visit turned out.
“Why don’t we sit in the kitchen? I can make coffee. Or maybe you’d prefer a soda or water?”
“Water would be great.” He followed her through to the kitchen. The apartment was small, but immaculate. And the furniture, though not the most expensive, was in good condition. When she opened the freezer to pull out an ice cube tray, he saw that it was well stocked. His anxiety lowered another notch. His sister wasn’t wealthy, but she was married, in a good home and was no longer hungry. It meant a lot.
He seated himself at the table she indicated and waited. Now that he was here, all the practiced words flew out of his head. Instead, he watched her plink four ice cubes into a glass and fill it with water from a filtered pitcher.
It was only when she was seated across from him that he spoke.
“I’ve missed you, Jen. How are you?”
She smiled. That nearly killed his self-control right there.
“I’m good. Well, I’ll be much better when this guy is born.” She patted her belly gently. “It’s strange that you showed up today. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I saw you on the news a month or so ago. It said you were a murder suspect.”
“That’s been solved. I’m a cop. I was undercover, and my cover was blown.”
“Figured it was something like that. I knew you wouldn’t have murdered someone. You’ve always been too obsessed with doing the correct thing.” She paused, her eyes zeroing in on his face. “I wanted to contact you, but couldn’t work up the courage.”
He reared back in surprise.
She noted his reaction. “Yeah, I knew that I was wrong five years ago to send you away. But I was feeling angry and broken.”
He understood that. Hadn’t he confessed being in that same condition to Sophie? Merely thinking of Sophie left his mind reeling with longing. The memory of her voice, the touch of her hand and the scent of strawberries had lingered and sustained him through the past few weeks apart.
“Does that mean you’ve forgiven me?” he asked Jennie quietly.
Her gaze dropped. “You never needed to be forgiven, Aiden. But I’m hoping you might forgive me?”
“Forgive you? What have you ever done that was wrong?”
“Oh, lots.” She grinned, a flash that was there and gone. “But seriously, I was horrible to you. And you didn’t deserve that. What have you ever done except try to help me?”
“He hurt you.”
Even now, he couldn’t bring himself to verbally say the name of their stepfather out loud.
“Yeah. He did. But he hurt you, too.”
And their mother had been too scared to leave him. So they had survived the best they could.
An awkward silence fell between them. He tried to find a new topic of conversation. When she rubbed her stomach, he latched on to the subject of her coming baby.
“So, you’re going to be a mom soon. When?”
Relief flared in her expression. “My due date is in three weeks.”
He saw a picture wall. Jennie was standing with a tall man with lots of curly blond hair on a beach. They were smiling widely with their arms around each other. Their joy leaped off the pi
cture.
He got up to take a closer look.
“This your husband?”
She didn’t answer at first. He turned to see tears in her eyes. “Yes, that’s Luke. We took that picture a year ago. He was killed six months ago in an explosion at the plant where he worked.”
“Jennie.” He didn’t hold back this time. He marched up to her and gently hauled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry.”
She didn’t resist. His arms wrapped around her as much as her stomach would allow. He rubbed her back as she cried. When she stopped, he let her go.
“Jennie, I’m not going away again. I’m going to be your big brother and help you out.”
She was already shaking her head. “I want you in my life. But you don’t need to protect me anymore. I’m a grown woman. I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe. But I’m still here for you. Whatever you need.”
The tension had dissolved. They had many years of burdens to share. Jennie cried again when she learned of his time as a soldier. And again when he spoke of the death of his partner and the darkness of his undercover work to find Tim’s killer. “I’d wondered why you were gone so long.”
“I had a lot to work through. Sophie helped.”
Oh, no. He hadn’t meant to tell her about Sophie. That was private. And it was also fragile. Sophie might not want him back, not after he’d left so abruptly.
The damage was done. Now that Jennie knew about Sophie, she peppered him with a thousand eager questions. He answered briefly at first, but soon his longing for Sophie broke through his hesitance, and his words were tripping over each other as he talked about the woman who owned his heart.
“What are you doing here?” Jennie demanded.
“Huh?” he stared at his sister, confused.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleased as punch to see you. Ecstatic, really. But you obviously love this woman. Are you going to let her get away?”
“I needed to get us worked out first. Family is important.”
“It is.” She looked at him thoughtfully. “When do I get to meet her?”
If only it was that simple!
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t know if she’ll want anything to do with me. I didn’t exactly leave in the best way.”
“So?” She slammed her fists on her hips and glared. “Fight for her. Fight with her, if necessary. Love is worth it. You don’t have time to waste. Trust me. And when—not if—she accepts you, savor every moment you have together.”
He saw the picture of her husband again and understood the message.
“I will, sis. I will.”
“Good.” Jennie wrote out her cell phone number and handed it to him. When he had put it in his pocket, she shoved him toward the door. “Go get your woman. Call me when you have a wedding date set.”
* * *
“Is this Sophie?”
Sophie frowned. She didn’t recognize the woman’s voice. It was light and pleasing. Probably a telemarketer or a scam. She should hang up without answering.
Except, it might be someone at Celine’s deaf camp calling her. Celine had waffled about whether or not she should attend the yearly camp. The recent events had given her nightmares.
Sophie had discussed the pros and cons with her, but had let Celine make her own decision. In the end, Celine had opted to go after Sophie had promised her that a phone call would bring her to the camp immediately to bring her home if she wanted.
That was yesterday. Celine had called last night to talk with Sophie. Sophie had been amazed that she had braved the first night away.
“Hello?”
She was still holding the phone. “This is Sophie. Who is this? Please?”
She tacked the please on so the response wouldn’t sound quite so rude.
There was a brief pause. “Um, do you have a sister named Celine?”
Sophie was instantly alarmed. Had something happened at camp? Was her sister hurt? “Yes, she’s my sister. Is she all right?”
The woman on the phone sighed. “Finally. Do you know how many Sophie Larsons there are listed in the white pages?”
So it wasn’t someone from camp. It was someone who had looked her up. Why? A thought occurred to her, and she almost dropped the phone as her heart raced. Maybe something had happened to Aiden.
“Who are you?”
“My name is Jennie Beiler. My maiden name is Forster.”
She froze. Aiden’s sister. Something had happened to him. Visions of him hurt or worse pushed into her mind. She sank onto the closest chair, unable to remain standing.
“Aiden. What’s happened to Aiden?” she choked out. Dear Lord, please let him be okay. Please.
“He’s fine. Really.” The woman hurried to reassure her. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Maybe I shouldn’t have called. It’s just...”
Her voice petered out.
“Jennie? It’s just what? Why are you calling me?” Aiden was fine. She said he was fine. She held on to those words, needing them to be true.
“Look, he came to see me. After all these years apart, he found me. And we talked. Talked like we haven’t since we were taken into foster care. One thing he talked about was a beautiful red-haired woman named Sophie and her sweet kid sister.”
Aiden had told his sister about her? That was hard to believe, although clearly he had. For what purpose?
“I’m surprised he mentioned me,” she murmured.
Jennie laughed softly. “Well, to be honest, I don’t think he planned to. But once he mentioned you, he couldn’t seem to stop. The thing is, I’m pretty sure he’s on his way to see you. And I’m hoping you’ll listen to him.”
Her heart thudded, the blood pounding in her ears, nearly drowning out Jennie’s words.
“He’s coming to see me.”
She repeated the words, reluctant to believe. She couldn’t take the disappointment if she was wrong.
She had suffered so much devastation recently. The investigation following the death of Phillip Larson had revealed that he had indeed been responsible for the deaths of their parents and Brian. It appeared her dad had discovered his brother’s activities and had been preparing to turn him in. When her family’s home had been searched, they had discovered that Phillip had planted bugs and had been listening in on her family for years.
One positive discovery was that, after she and Celine had been rescued, the doctor who’d been missing had been found. He’d been shot and left for dead, but he had survived. And he had been more than willing to testify against Phillip’s men who had attacked him.
“Don’t sound so surprised. Look, I can’t tell you what to do. It’s just that five years ago I sent him away, and I regretted it ever since. I’d been blaming him for all the ugliness in my life since we were placed in the foster care system as kids. I wanted to save him, and you, the same regret. If I could.”
A motorcycle pulled into her driveway. She pushed the blind aside. Tears and joy mingled as the familiar features of the man they were talking about blurred. He set his helmet on the handlebars and faced the window. When he saw her watching him, a blazing smile spread across his face. She melted.
“Jennie. He’s here.”
“Go.”
The phone disconnected. It slipped from her nervous hands. She didn’t look as it hit the carpet. She didn’t remember walking to the door. When she opened it, he was standing there, his gaze devouring her. She couldn’t speak. His face was leaner than it had been.
“Hi, Soph.”
“Hi.” Brilliant response. She cleared her throat. “I just got off the phone with your sister.”
His eyebrows climbed his forehead. “How’d she get your number?”
She told him about their conversation.
“I hope you weren’t mad that she looked you up.”
Was she angry? No. Confused. Fighting hope. Nervous. But not mad.
“Why did you tell her about me, Aiden?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. She recognized that posture. He was feeling tense and trying to appear in control. She understood.
“I shouldn’t have left like I did.”
That wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. Her fragile heart cracked a little. Maybe his sister had misunderstood. Maybe he wasn’t regretting leaving her, just the way it had happened. Immediately, her defenses struggled to reassert themselves.
“How should you have left? You were very clear that we had no future. If I hadn’t said...” She bit her lip. The last thing she wanted him to recall was what she had said to him. Her face heated, giving her one more reason to be irritated. She probably resembled a tomato right now with her red face.
His eyes widened. “No! That’s not what I meant! I regretted leaving, period. Even while I was telling you all that, I knew I was lying! Both to you and to myself. I wanted a future with you. I still do. I just had stuff to fix first.”
Her breath caught in her throat. Hope blossomed. She ignored the way spirals of giddiness were shooting through her veins. She couldn’t let down her guard. Not yet. “You want a future with me?”
He reached out and took her hands in his. The thrill of having him here, touching her, nearly made her faint.
“Sophie Larson, I am absolutely, completely and forever in love with you. When you said you loved me, I got scared.”
“Scared? Of what?”
He leaned down so their foreheads were touching. Her lids fluttered closed.
“I was terrified I’d fail you like I’d failed my sister.”
“Aiden, you didn’t fail her.” Her right hand left his and crept up to rest against his cheek. He turned and kissed her palm.
When he straightened again, he kept hold of her left hand. “I know that now. She and I have reconciled. And I realized that I need to treasure the gift God has given to me. The gift of the love of a beautiful woman. And hopefully that of a family.”
A family? She tightened her grip on his hand.