by Nana Malone
"What do you mean not—” He froze when he saw me. “Holy shit."
I didn't know what else to do at that point, so I waved. "Hey, I'm Jessa. Is this the part where you guys shove me into the dungeon? Or are you going to do the whole murder thing right here, because I feel like this is not a good day to die."
Sebastian frowned. "Why the hell would we murder you?"
"You sent a traitor into my midst to watch me. I've been led to believe that it was to bring harm to me. My father was afraid of you people his whole life."
Sebastian scowled then. "That man was not your father."
"Yes, he was. He was the father I knew. Unlike the father who abandoned me."
Lucas winced. "Oh, burn. But maybe, just maybe we can all have a conversation before this gets crazy. I feel like we have a lot to talk about."
Sebastian nodded. "Since you're here Jessa, I assume it means you want to find out the truth. So, what do you say? Will you allow us to explain? This is your show. You entered into the belly of the beast. Now you're here. What’s your next move?"
I swallowed. He had a point. I was here. Now what? "Like you said. We have a lot to talk about."
Sebastian’s nod was slight. “Then by all means. We should probably do this in private. Follow me.”
5
Jessa
Follow me, he said. And like the idiot lamb to the slaughter, I followed. Now I was alone with my brothers.
I may or may not have miscalculated.
You’re the one who showed up with no plan.
Okay fine, I’d grossly miscalculated. And now I was in a room with two men who possibly wanted me dead.
As I glanced back and forth between my brothers, my mind raced trying to think about all the ways to start this conversation. ‘Hey, I'm your long-lost sister. Nice to meet you. I know this seems awkward, but I didn't really mean to sneak my way into the palace just to get closer to you.’
Maybe they actually want to get to know you.
In the end, all I could muster was, "I have no idea what to say right now."
Sebastian ran his hands through his hair. "That makes three of us, I think."
"Maybe I should just go?"
Lucas's brow popped. "What? No. You have to stay. Seb, make her stay."
Sebastian groaned. "Lucas, despite the rumors you keep perpetuating, we don't actually have dungeons here. If she wants to go, she can go. I can’t stop her."
Well, that was a relief. No dungeons.
"I'm sorry I snuck in here, I guess. Please don't be mad at the girls, I wanted to know about you, and I thought I could just observe. I didn’t think about what would happen after."
Sebastian and Lucas exchanged a glance, and Sebastian said, " If you want to know something, all you have to do is ask."
"I guess I just... I mean you wanted to know about me. Did you ask?"
Lucas snorted. "She has a point there."
Sebastian sighed. "Okay, yes, I deserve that. I didn't give you a chance. And while I had my reasons for intruding on your life without your knowledge, I didn't really take into account how you would feel."
"You told Roone not to tell me?"
He nodded. "Yes. I sent him to protect you. And given how you’d grown up, I didn't want you to run. The way you’d grown up with your father, I didn’t know if or how much you hated us." The way he said ‘father,’ like he was deliberately using measured words, irked me. “My understanding was that he did his best to keep you safe and protected, but I also understand he was quite ill. All I wanted was to keep you safe and minimize any upheaval in your everyday life."
"You realize how intrusive that was, right?”
He nodded slowly. "Yes. And I would love to tell you that I wouldn't do it again, but that's a lie. Because I would. From the moment I found out about you and Lucas, my only goal has been to keep the two of you safe. Like our father would have wanted."
I narrowed my gaze. "You see, you use that word, father, but he's not my father. I didn't know him. And my whole life, I've been told to fear everyone. Question everything. Trust no one. And it's impossible for me to stand here and just believe that you mean me no harm."
“It's the truth. Just think it through yourself. All the times Roone had access to hurt you, did he? And now you're here, in the palace. Have we made any attempt to hurt you?"
I swallowed. There was still time for all the dungeon torture. "No. You haven't." Someone knocked on the door and brought in scones and tea. My traitorous stomach grumbled. The popcorn hadn’t been enough.
Sebastian gestured toward the tea. “Have a seat. If you like, I’ll have Lucas—”
Lucas didn’t even wait, just piled clotted cream onto a scone and tucked in. Then he poured tea for all of us. He took several sips, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “See, not poisoned. Also, Seb, don't think I didn’t notice how you volunteered me as tribute.”
Sebastian only shrugged. “Well I know how you’ve grown to love Chef’s scones. Be careful or you’ll lose that six pack you love parading around.”
“Eight pack, big brother. Eight pack.”
Big brother. I sat tentatively as they spoke. The scone did look good. “So, I guess that answers the question of which of you is older.”
Lucas rolled his eyes. “As if there was any question. I’m still spry and young. Is that a line I see on your forehead, Seb?”
Sebastian scowled. “Fucking one premature gray hair. I swear, nothing is sacred.”
Lucas grinned. “To be fair, I was in the bathroom when Penny and Bryna were discussing your freakout over it. It gave me life, man.”
I stared at the two of them. At most, they both looked like they were in their mid-twenties. And neither of them had to worry about their looks in the least. It was intimidating as hell. Had I gotten the dud genes? I knew I was perfectly fine, but I had no illusions about me being some show-stopping model.
“I’m glad the vanity gene skipped one of us.”
Lucas grinned. “But I see the trash-talking gene didn’t.” His gaze flickered to Sebastian. “I like her. Can we keep her?”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “When you love something, you have to be willing to let it go. If it stays, then it was meant to be yours.”
These men, despite their insane good looks, were, for the most part, normal. Maybe I wouldn’t know what danger looked like exactly, but I couldn’t feel it with the girls or with these two. I was safe here.
So what, exactly, had I been afraid of all these years?
Sebastian cleared his throat. “I know this is a lot. But I’d like you to stay at the palace a couple of days. Get to know us. If you want to go, you can go. But no one’s going to hurt you here. Unless of course you still think our nefarious plan is to murder you with scones.”
"When you use rational words, I feel like I’m the crazy person. You have to understand, my whole life, there was a boogeyman. Real or imagined. And up until now, I didn't actually believe he existed. Come to find out, there's this whole other world and a royal conspiracy. It means my father wasn't completely insane.”
He and Lucas exchanged a glance. "There are some very real dangers, even if they don't come from us. There is a group. They call themselves Heirs of Angelus. We don't know a lot about them, but we believe that they were the ones that killed our father. There's been this whole shadow faction that believes that you, Lucas, and I are not the rightful heirs. There was a time when I would have welcomed that. A time where all I wanted was a simple life. But our father died because he believed in the throne and all it stands for. They killed him in a grab for power. There were some people who didn't believe that you and Lucas should have legitimate claims on the monarchy, but it was what Dad wanted, so I made it happen."
I eyed him carefully. "How do you feel about it? Can't we challenge your seat on the throne now?"
He shrugged. "Sure. And honestly, part of me would welcome that. It's exhausting. It would give me time to knock up my wife and be a
little normal. But this is about legacy."
I ran my hands through my hair. “Is it all worth it?”
“Even if I could step down, I wouldn’t. They tried to kill my wife. Then they tried to kill Lucas."
My throat went dry. "Shit." God, my brain hurt. My whole childhood came screaming back into focus. “My father talked about this boogeyman. I dragged him from doctor to doctor, trying to get meds that would work correctly. And all along, he wasn't completely out of his mind. You understand it's a lot to take in."
Lucas nodded and pushed away from the table he sat on. "Look, I get it. I was in your boat. I had a totally normal life once."
Sebastian scoffed at that. "You were a thief, Lucas. Hardly normal."
Lucas granted. "Hey, I was a world-renowned thief."
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Conman."
Lucas grunted. "Pussy."
I stared at them. "You guys, focus."
Lucas flashed a grin at me. "Look, my point is that I get how you're feeling. You didn't ask for any of this. But we’re stronger together.”
"I have to think this through. How would they even track me down?"
Lucas sighed. "Well, current theories are that there are people with access to the royal family who are working with them. Like Roone’s former partner."
I frowned. “What do you mean his former partner?"
Sebastian sighed. "A former guard. He was assigned to Lucas's watch. Our best guess is that they want the three of us together. And considering my father had already set into motion the events to make you and Lucas legitimate, they didn't dare risk leaving one of us unharmed."
"Jesus Christ. They want all three of us dead?"
Sebastian shrugged. "Believe me now? You're in the safest place you can be. This place is a fortress."
"Or, you know, they can walk in the front door like I did."
Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck. "We're working on it. Now, that all three of us are together, whoever's after us is going to have to make a bold move. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it together. And your knowledge will help us."
"I don't know much. My father was convinced I was in danger for years. No one believed him."
Sebastian nodded. "I can't imagine how difficult it was growing up with him, not knowing what to believe or who to trust. Being afraid."
I swallowed hard. "Yes, but what's worse is that he might have been right about all of it."
"Look, whatever happens, we're together now. The three of us will work it out. The hard work your father put in to protect you… we won't take it for granted. We will keep you safe."
"Just how do you plan on doing that?"
As my new brothers exchanged glances, I wasn’t sure this was the best idea I’d ever had.
Roone
I was wreck tired. I'd been in Toronto following up on leads when I'd gotten the call.
Jessa, my little lost princess, had fooled us all and gone home to the Winston Isles. She'd basically walked up to the girls, introduced herself, and made friends. I didn't even know what to say to that. Who did that?
She does. Always playing by her own rules. She was someone who wanted to make a statement.
Is that what she’s doing?
As soon as I heard, I took the first flight back. I hadn't slept in two days, and basically, I was shit for brains. But straight off of the landing strip, I went to the palace and pushed the door open into the conference room where I'd been instructed to meet Sebastian.
It was actually part conference room, part game room. Sebastian had always said people were more comfortable in laid-back environments. I didn’t know if that was the truth, because I did not feel comfortable, and I was sure the hell pissed off.
Sebastian looked me up and down. "Mate, you look like shit."
"Yeah, you think? You're telling me I've been running around from hell to breakfast and she's fucking here?"
Sebastian held up his hands. "Relax. Yeah, she turned up on her own."
I ran my hands through my hair. "Who the fuck told her? I didn't break cover. There’s no way she should have known."
Sebastian held up his hands. "From the sounds of it, it seems someone was giving her father information, or maybe he was able to piece it together on his own. Either way, he made her a whole folder, on me, Lucas, Dad... And unfortunately, there was a picture of me and you. So that's how she found out that you weren't exactly who you said you were."
"Motherfucker. I told you." I pointed an accusatory finger at him while I paced and talked. "I told you we needed to tell her. It would have saved us a hell of a lot of time because she found out anyway. And you put me off telling her. Anything could have happened to her in the last few days. Anything. If only you'd have let me tell her."
He ran his hands through his hair. "I know. I thought I was doing the best thing for her, but maybe not. We had no way of knowing. At the end of the day, I was wrong. But she's here now, so we need a game plan. I need my right-hand man. Are you up for this?"
"Up for what? I’ve been trying to hold this shit together. And you—"
There was a sound at the other end of the meeting room. Someone had come in. The hairs on the nape of my neck stood at attention, and my back went rigid. I snapped my head up. I knew that feeling, that acute sensation.
Jessa.
I knew what I was supposed to do. Act nonchalant. Be the soldier. But I was so fucking relieved to see her.
I left my best friend standing where he was and ran to her. Like an idiot, I had my hands all over her. Checking her for injuries or wounds. She was safe. She was here. She was mine.
No, dumbass, she's not yours.
She opened her mouth as if to say something, and her gaze searched mine. But then she closed her eyes as if steeling herself. I watched her shutter her expression, and it broke my heart.
I'd done this. I’d ruined it all. I had crossed the line, and there was no coming back from that now because I had completely fallen for her and she would never trust me again. Not that she should have. Because I was a liar. Falling for her made everything far too complicated. The soldier wasn't allowed to love the princess.
Jessa
I should have known. I should have known that he would come and I would have to face him. That I would eventually have to deal with the hollow pit in my stomach. But I wasn't prepared.
I had no way of preparing for this. As much as I craved his touch, needed it as a balm to soothe all of my aches and ease my pain and anxiety, there would be no balm today. Because no matter how I felt about him, the betrayal felt worse.
I could have a calm rational conversation with Sebastian and Lucas. The things that they'd said made sense. But there was a lot to unpack, a lot to think through. This man had protected me. Lied to you. Cared for me. Forced his way into your life.
My hands shook.
I wanted to run to him and hold him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to say I was sorry for the tranq dart. I also wanted to say I'd grabbed the wrong gun by mistake and I’d really wanted to actually shoot him. I’d wanted to hurt him the same way that he'd hurt me, and I wanted him to feel pain.
No you don't. You love him.
I did not. I wanted him to hurt as badly as I’d been hurt. I wanted him to feel that realization of betrayal to his core. I wanted him to bleed like my heart was bleeding.
Sebastian was staring at him. Roone was staring at me, and I, well I was frozen, rooted to the spot near the large sitting area, complete with plush looking couches, coffee tables, and a massive big screen TV.
There was a pool table across the way, and I could tell that the room was probably used as a game room more often than not. My favorite feature of the room were the shelves of books lining two walls. All kinds of books. I’d spent hours in there the previous day looking for something to calm my mind down. I'd settled on Jane Austin. Of course that didn't help at all because romance made me want to stab things.
"Jessa, you're safe. I'm so sorry, I just—"
/> I don't know what made me do it. I wasn't violent by nature.
Liar. Sometimes you are.
My right hand twitched, and I couldn't stop myself. It flew out, wanting to make contact with his cheek, but his reflexes were too quick. He caught my wrist in his fingers then twisted my arm behind my back with enough force to tell me that he meant it, but still gently enough to not hurt me.
All that did was piss me off even more, and I figured I might as well give it a go with my left. Same result. Roone dragged me to him. "Stop. I don't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry." He dropped his forehead to mine. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
I fought his hold. "I hate you."
"I don't hate you."
"I wish I'd shot you."
"A part of me wished you'd shot me too. All I ever wanted was to keep you safe."
I wasn't sure how long we stood there. Roone's strong hands on my wrists, my arms behind my back, my body pressed against his, needing him and longing for what we’d had.
Sebastian cleared his throat. "Is there something you guys want to tell me?"
My brother's voice was what broke the spell. I fought Roone's hold again, and then the tears started, hot and wet against my cheek. My body shook with pain and anger. Roone whispered another 'I'm sorry.' Then he released me and stepped back, arms behind his back, shoulders stiff, posture ramrod straight. He didn't look at Sebastian when he spoke. "No, nothing you need to know. I'm just relieved the princess is safe."
His voice was so cold. He wouldn't meet my gaze. It was as if the Roone I had known in London, the one who'd pissed me off, lived across the hall, protected me, and made me insane, didn't exist. Instead he was replaced by this robot? No. That wasn't right. He'd been replaced by a soldier. As my heart broke in two, I wondered if I'd ever really known him at all.
6
Ariel
My first stop off the plane was to see Penny. But after we’d caught up a little and she’d told me the utterly ridiculous tale of Jessa dropping into our laps, it was right to the team meeting.