by Fiona Starr
Anyway, in the years since, I have tried online dating and those in-person mixer events a few times… but those feel too fast and forced for me. I prefer more organic connections that develop over time, which is why I am very excited about the prospect of getting to meet you through your letters. It’s like the perfect blend of online dating and organic meeting.
I am not sure what else there is to say about me. I spend a lot of time running my business, which I love. I also enjoy reading, watching movies (no scary stuff!), baking, coffee, and I love animals. I don’t have a pet (see: time-consuming business) but if I did, I am sure it would be something of the fluffy variety and very, very cute.
I am suddenly quite curious to know about you and what you think of this whole letter writing gig. When I decided to sign up, I bought this fancy paper and a fountain pen. It feels very old fashioned, which, I guess, tells you something else about me.
I hope my letter finds you well.
Sincerely.
I read her letter two more times and can’t help but smile. She sounds sweet. And she seems like a normal person. I wonder how old she is, and what kind of business she owns. Has she read my letter? I wonder what she’s thinking. I wonder if the office supply store is still open so I can go buy some nice paper.
I check my phone for the store hours and I have some time before they close. “Let’s go for a walk, Animal.” I grab his leash and my keys and we head for the door.
CLAIRE
Grace has named me Simple Life. I like it. I think it suits me. I open the seal and pull out Lonely Heart’s letter. It’s written on plain white paper. I look across the table at Laura and she’s devouring her letter—flipping it over to the back side and then starting over again from the top. I close my eyes and take a breath as I focus on his words.
Dear Potential Match,
I’m glad Grace Graham included a couple of name options for us to address our first letter. I don’t know what I would have called you otherwise. “Friend” sounds weird and Pen Pal feels like I am in middle school again, and nobody wants to meet middle-school me, so, Potential Match it is.
I have my sister and her family to thank for me signing up for the matchmaking service. I think my niece is the most eager of them all to see me find someone. She’s seven, and when they gave me the information about the service, my niece said that she didn’t like knowing my heart was lonely. I wanted to correct her, but in the interest of honest openness, there it is.
I guess I am a bit of an introvert. I work for myself as a networking consultant (computers, not people, in case you haven’t guessed), so I spend a lot of my time at home. I’ve been on more blind dates than any person should be subjected to. I just haven’t connected with the right person yet.
I am pretty low key and I am not much of a party guy. I am on a personal quest to perfect my recipe for the best small-batch beer ever brewed. I’m also ninja-level when it comes to solving jigsaw puzzles, and I confess that one of my favorite date nights includes old black and white movies and popcorn with lots of butter.
Maybe the reason I am single is staring right back at me after all… I look forward to getting to know you, mystery woman.
Until then.
Is it weird to be attracted to someone’s letter? I read it again and run my fingers over the imprint of his writing. It’s blocky and sharp, but neat and straight. He presses his pen into the paper pretty hard.
Laura’s waiting for me, her face eager for a reaction. “Well? What’s his pen name?”
“Lonely Heart.” I scrunch my shoulders and smile. “He’s funny. And he sounds cute. Isn’t that weird?”
“My guy is Paperback Writer. He sounds very smart and has a dry sense of humor.” She smiles and I can tell she’s as thrilled with her match as I am with mine.
“What now?” I get up from the table and make myself a cup of herbal tea.
Laura looks up from her letter. “What do you mean, what now? Write him back!”
“Just like that?” I feel vulnerable and a little lost all of a sudden.
Laura folds up her letter and it disappears into her giant tote purse. “Yes, Claire. Just like that. This is happening, and it’s going to be great.” She gets up and grabs her coat off the hook. She turns when she gets to the door and pauses, as if contemplating whether to say what she clearly wants to say. “You deserve someone to be happy with, Claire. Write him back. Have a little fun.”
“Thanks.” I watch her leave and sip my tea. It seems almost too simple. His letter makes him sound funny and kind, but what am I supposed to say now? I can’t tell him who I am—we aren’t supposed to do that right away. And I covered just about everything in my introduction letter, right? I am at a loss.
I stick all the dishes in the dishwasher and finish closing up the shop. As I lock the door I realize I can’t wait to get home and write my next letter.
THOMAS
I’m making dinner for myself when my phone rings. It’s Milton in the lobby and there’s a messenger with a package I need to sign for. Technically, the doormen are allowed to sign for it, but Milton knows I’m home and I think he likes it when I come down to say hi.
I know what it is, and I feel like a jerk for not sending my first reply letter back to Simple Life right away. But after I wrote it I felt like she’d find it disappointing. She seems classy and maybe a little out of my league. I wrote two more letters and ended up tossing all three in the trash. The fourth letter sits on the table near the door, labeled and ready to go. I pass it on my way down to see Milton.
I get back to my apartment and tear open the outer envelope with my name real on it and find the Matchmaker envelope inside. It’s got the pre-printed label addressed to Lonely Heart.
I run my finger under the flap and take out her letter, remembering the feel of the thick cream paper she writes on.
Dear Lonely Heart,
I enjoyed reading your letter more than I thought I would. Your niece sounds sweet and I think it is pretty special to have family who cares so much about you. My cousin lives here and helps me run the business, but the rest of my family is back in Colorado. Have you ever been there?
Reading your letter and the part about jigsaw puzzles brought back fond memories of the holidays when I was growing up. Every Christmas, my mom would set out a new jigsaw puzzle for all of us—aunts, uncles, and cousins—to work on over the holiday break. When we finished it, she would have it mounted and framed. Their house has decades of puzzles hanging in just about every room.
I understand being an introvert. Despite running a retail business where I talk to people all day long, I look forward to the end of the day where I can collect my thoughts and sit alone and read or watch a movie. I laughed when you said you were low key. Perhaps the Matchmaker is onto something here—putting us together. I can’t believe I am sharing this… but honesty is what it’s all about, right? One time I went on a date with a guy and he fell asleep while we were talking. He dozed off while I was mid-sentence, mind you—not during a lull in the conversation. I’d like to say it was the wine, but we hadn’t been drinking… ;)
You mentioned that you like old movies… what are some of your favorites? I love Casablanca and Roman Holiday, and when I moved to St. Louis, I “borrowed” my dad’s collection of Bogart DVDs to bring with me. There’s something special about that guy… (Bogart, that is. Though my dad’s pretty special too!)
I am not educated in the world of beer, but I do like a good IPA. However, if you want to discuss coffee, or tea… I’m your girl.
Looking forward to your next letter.
Sincerely,
Simple Life
CLAIRE
When his letter finally arrives, I feel a strange sense of relief. It takes his letter a couple of days after my last one, which means he didn’t write back right away. I try not to read into that, I mean there are a million reasons he might have wanted to wait.
I open his letter and laugh when I see the paper it’s written o
n. He’s chosen stationery featuring the characters from The Muppet Show. They are all wearing tuxedoes, and Animal is front and center, being upstaged only by Miss Piggy and her feather boa.
Dear Simple Life,
The first thing I did after reading your letter was head over to the store to buy fancier paper. I know what you’re thinking… if he thinks The Muppets in formal wear is fancy, I’m in trouble. The truth is, I was going for something a little more sophisticated when I spotted this and it felt like a sign or something.
You said in your letter that you don’t have pets, but if you did, you’d choose something fluffy and cute. I have a little hairball dog who is named Animal because he resembles a certain drummer. He’s a quirky mutt and a lot of fun—kind of like his namesake.
You have no idea how glad I was to read that you weren’t intimidated by my jigsaw puzzle prowess. It isn’t every woman who can handle that kind of skill in a potential match. You must have a lot of great memories when you see all the framed pieces at your parents’ house.
I have never been to Colorado though I’ve spent some layovers at the airport in Denver. Are you a skier? Growing up, my family spent a lot of time on the river, boating and tubing. My grandfather had a cabin down on Lake of the Ozarks where we spent lots of time in the summers. Have you ever visited the Ozarks? Our family still has the cabin, though it’s been awhile since I’ve made time to visit.
I am sorry to know that you lost your husband. I’ve never been married so I can’t understand a loss like that, but I appreciate you sharing it with me. It must have been hard going through that when the person you need the most is the one who can’t be by your side.
Casablanca is one of the greats. If I had to name some of my favorites, there would definitely be a Bogart or two on the list. I also like Steve McQueen and Laurence Olivier, and anything Hitchcock did. As I am writing this, The Bridge on the River Kwai is playing. It’s one of those movies that if I happen to catch it on the Classic Film Channel, I will stop and watch it no matter how far in it is, then spend the next few days whistling that tune.
I think the Matchmaker is indeed on to something—connecting me with a woman who likes IPA beer, Bogart, and puzzles. It’s like the trifecta of time well spent. Have you ever gone to the monthly classic film festivals they do at the Savoy downtown? If we decide to meet, maybe we could grab a beer and see an old flick. Let’s not rush ahead, though. I have all this stationery and finally worked up the courage to use it. Would be a shame to let it go to waste.
I look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
Lonely Heart
P.S. You mentioned that you like to bake. Another coincidence, because I love to eat baked things. Do you have a specialty? I don’t bake but my spaghetti sauce would make my Italian grandmother weep with pride.
THOMAS
Dear Lonely Heart,
I think your stationery is perfect! How fun that you have a dog who looks like Animal. I am enjoying your sense of humor. Hopefully I will get a chance to meet him one day, that is, when the stationery runs out. I hope for all our sakes that you didn’t purchase the economy pack.
We aren’t supposed to divulge anything identifying about ourselves, but I suppose it’s not too far over the line to say that baking is one part of my business. I don’t run a bakery, however. I think my customers’ favorite is my chocolate ganache cake, followed in close second place by my lemon bars. Those are the crowd pleasers, but my personal favorite is lemon poppy scones. Do you have a favorite type of dessert?
I went to school in Colorado and graduated with a degree in Political Science with a minor in Art History. I use neither in my career, though I do have a charcoal sketch by Vermeer that I found at an estate sale years ago. It was like the antiques television show where people bring in their junk and find out it’s worth millions. The sketch isn’t worth anything near that, but after taking into account my $.50 investment, I think I am the winner there. Do you like art? What got you into computer networking?
I have gone to the Savoy. A couple of summers ago I went when they were showing the Audrey Hepburn marathon. I spent all day eating popcorn and felt like I had traveled back in time. By the way, my cousin thanks you for mentioning the tune from The Bridge on the River Kwai. It became quite the ear worm for me and I whistled it the whole next day at work.
I look forward to meeting you and testing your jigsaw puzzle solving skills. Until then, did you see that the Classic Film Channel is having a Steve McQueen double feature this weekend? I am planning to tune in. I haven’t seen Papillon in years.
My timer tells me the chocolate ganache is ready.
Until next time,
Simple Life
CLAIRE
His next letter arrives after only a day. I don’t wait for Laura; I tear it open and read it at the counter when there’s a lull at the shop.
Dear Simple Life,
It was nice to get your last letter. I am so relieved that you liked my choice in stationery. You seem so genuine; I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t taking our match seriously. I find myself charmed by this process of meeting you through our letters. I’ve never been so aware of bike messengers in my life.
As a computer nerd, my super power is logic and deduction. I think I might have picked up on your trail of clues. You bake for your job, but you don’t have a bakery. You like coffee and tea and can talk about them for days… Perhaps you have a coffee shop or a café?
A quick search online tells me that are hundreds of potential targets in the greater St. Louis area. I figure if I start today and visit three each day, I have a good chance of finding you sometime in the next two years. I’ll be the tall guy with dark hair and the small fluffy dog. He’s seriously a dead-ringer for Animal, though after discussing with him I don’t know if he’s up to the challenge of my coffee shop investigation. I’ll get back to you on that. Do you bake dog treats for your canine customers?
Thanks for the heads up about the Steve McQueen double feature. I’m there. I remember when the Savoy ran the Audrey Hepburn marathon. I don’t recall if I went to that one, but it’s interesting to think that maybe we crossed paths once before. After your last letter, I ended up streaming Roman Holiday on the Classic Channel. Audrey’s another one of the greats.
Tell your cousin sorry-not-sorry for the River Kwai ear worm. It made me smile to think of you whistling it.
Sincerely,
Lonely Heart
THOMAS
Dear Lonely Heart,
Bingo! I own a coffee shop on the south side of town, west of the river. Your powers of deduction are impressive. Along with your puzzle prowess, and your brewing skills… I am now on tenterhooks anticipating meeting you.
So I have to ask, how is your stationery stash looking? I wonder if you’d like to save some paper and continue this conversation in person?
Grace Graham is having a cocktail party tomorrow night. My cousin is meeting her match there, and I wonder if you’d like to do the same?
Tall and dark, huh? If you decide to come, I’ll be the one wearing a red and white striped scarf, like Audrey in Roman Holiday. If you’re not ready yet for a face-to-face, I understand, and I hope you’ll write back.
Sincerely,
Simple Life
CLAIRE
“You look so nervous! Here, have a sip of my drink.” Laura places her martini on the high round the table in front of me and checks her lipstick in her tiny mirror again. She’s wearing a green sequined evening gown with matching shoes and satin gloves with an emerald costume jewelry ring on her finger. Her pen name was Formal Gal, because she loves dressing up and going out for a night on the town.
I’m wearing a simple black skirt and a vintage collared blouse with my Audrey scarf tied around my neck. I tug at the ends of the bow, feeling conspicuous and then close my eyes and exhale. “I am nervous. What if I scared him off? What if he takes one look at me and decides Grace Graham made a mistake?” I smooth my skirt over
my legs and try to settle down.
Laura puts her mirror down and clutches my hand. “Sweetie, you’re adorable, and you’re funny, and you’re smart. If muppet man doesn’t like you, then it’s his loss, not yours. So far, Grace seems to be right on. Have a little faith.”
I nod. I know she’s right. But the me of letters might not seem like the me in person. I want him to like me once he meets me. I really want to like him.
“Excuse me,” a deep voice interrupts us. A blond man with striking green eyes is standing in front of Laura. He looks a little overdressed wearing a tux, but then again, he’s here to see my cousin. “You must be Formal Gal.”
Laura smiles and offers her hand. “You must be Paperback Writer.” She blinks and seems to be at a loss for words. He’s very handsome. He has a kind face, and his eyes… my goodness, she’s in trouble.
“My real name is Douglas Warren. Doug.” He lifts her hand to his lips, kisses her gloved fingers gently and then lets her go.
Laura gasps a little at the romantic gesture and purrs as she touches her chest. “I’m Laura Blaze. This is my cousin, Claire.” She doesn’t take her eyes off him as she introduces me.
“Nice to meet you.” He nods at me and smiles and then his eyes are back on Laura. “Shall we?” He offers her his arm.